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I Want to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 740 People

    I'm so alone and so tired of feeling awful

    about myself and my life. I just want to shoot myself in the ******* face. I'm so sick of people making fun of me and I'm sick of everyone stepping on me. I ******* hate everyone and everything so ******* much.
    xXLamialoverXx xXLamialoverXx 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 2

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    Wanted it as long as I can remember.

    Know for my birthday wish when I was 10yrs old was to kill myself. Still dont see why I just did, life somehow only gets worse and worse for me. You keep thinking it cant get worse, but life is one sadistic ***. Always finds a way.
    Torturedprince Torturedprince 26-30, M 3 Responses Sep 17

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    Coward

    I often fantasize killing myself. I think to my self, what seemingly innocent contraptions I have in my proximity that will enable me to achieve this goal. I think I am one very pathetic individual who is too ******* scared and dumb to do the deed. I am an idiot and a stupid...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 9, 2007

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    Relaxine

    Yesterday I went through my dad's Pharmacology books in search for drug concoctions that will end my life, shortly coming to the realization that attaining those drugs are almost next to impossible. Mom has bought about 80 sleeping pills from Bangladesh, I believe they are called...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 13, 2008

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    My boyfriend turned out to be a psychopath.

    I adored him. We lived together. He raped me one night when I said I was too tired. Then he acted like nothing happened and said he though that's what wanted . He's a effing liar. And it broke me. He was evil and wanted to know everything I did. But said he loved me. That I was...
    hurtstoobad hurtstoobad 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 28

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    I wanted to kill myself twice

    even though I grew up in a Christian home. I grew up learning how to read the bible, learned how to pray, I went to church, I learned about my faith in God and I love people too. I was slow learner in school, so people made fun of me. They called me retarded. They teased me...
    lovingmeisthebest lovingmeisthebest 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    Been Thinking Of Dying...

    hi, my name is may and i'm 18 years old right now.   I have been thinking about killing myself for a long time now...from what i could still remember, i try killing myself since a kid around the age of 7. I have try killing myself by overdosing myself, hanging myself, stop...
    mayvaaj mayvaaj 18-21 1 Response Oct 23, 2009

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    When It Is Time...

    I want to have one wild weekend with someone who also chooses to end her or his life. I want to do things I haven't done for a long time. A couple of drinks, unprotected sex with (a) stranger(s), etc. and then walk into the ocean together. Or toss a coin and the person who wins...
    wimnj wimnj 51-55, M 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    Everyday... I Want to Kill Myself...

    In the mornings I wake up... look out of my window... see the sun shining, birds chirping... I feel what a wonderful day today is... I come out of my room, see the accusation in the eyes of my parents... I'm fat, ugly, stupid, dumb, useless, "a bad influence"... I...
    iniquitousangel iniquitousangel 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 8, 2009

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    I don't want to live anymore.

    I feel like I'm a nuisance and a detriment to those around me. I want to be punished. I need to suffer and die. I want to hang myself or OD on some painful medication. I hate myself.
    sorrowfulmind sorrowfulmind 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 30

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    I'Ve Tried

    I've tried so hard, so much, so often, but to no avail I've failed in ever single one of my attempts. I've always been a pretty depressed kid actually. I've had the sh!ttiest childhood which I mention in all my other negative stories as well. It's really messed with my head and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    I cant stop messing things up with my husband.

    He admitted that he feels like I trap him. I want to work on things to better myself as a person but he wants to leave me. This will be the third time hes left. I dont know what to do. He says he doesn't believe it when I say I love him. I cant bear going through this again. I...
    pandaorchid pandaorchid 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    I Wish I Was Dead - Read This If You Are Hopeless!!!

    ~~~~~EDIT May 2nd - READ THIS ENTIRE POST - Life is not hopeless. I thought it was too. Read this entire post and the comments. I don't know where to start. I think that I should clarify that I don't want to kill myself, I just wish I could stop living. Before...
    dammit075 dammit075 18-21 10 Responses Aug 24, 2009

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    Right Now..someone Kill Me.

    I don't care how. shot me,stab me, i don't care how i die. i just want to die right now. I just want to pop all the pills in the house but if that does not work. ill just get my dad's gun out his room if he didn't lock it up...
    BrokenButterflies BrokenButterflies 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 11, 2010

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    Suicidal

    i want to kill myself and dont know how to handle these emotions or thoughts. I just want to take all my restoril and not wake up...i feel i am a failure at school, moods, life, but im only 22 years old with a lot ahead of me how do i go ahead and move on and not let go???
    BPDSAM23 BPDSAM23 26-30, F 4 Responses Sep 11, 2009

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    I Only Joined This Group

    To let everyone know what it is that I have learned; I committed suicide December 17th 2003. It was my goal to die, to never come back, but I did. I wish with 101% of my heart that I hadn't made such a selfish choice at the time. Someone once told me suicide is a permanent...
    angeldelinkwent angeldelinkwent 22-25, F 8 Responses Sep 20, 2009

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    Life brings nothing but suffering.

    I want to die. That is my one and only wish. And yet I'm forced to keep living.
    ayako18 ayako18 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 2

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    Where to Start??

    Too many bills.  Mortgage in jeopardy.  Wife doesn't know.  Married 20 years.  Little to no sex. 2 Kids failing in school.  No money for college.  Mother with Alzheimer's.  Mother-in-law wants to move in.  Former star athlete now morbidly...
    Rael Rael 46-50, M Oct 22, 2007

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    Everything hurts so ******* much.

    It hurts to breath, it hurts to think, it hurts to cry. I don't even know what's wrong, but I feel so alone. I just want someone to hear me, to notice me, to see how much it hurts. Is there anyone listening? Please?
    aislinn33 aislinn33 18-21, F Jul 29

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    Why Im Craving Suicide

    My life started out happily i guess.I had a family,a dysfunctional one,but it was a family.The first thing i remember is my father kicking my mother in the stomach with a steel toed boot while she was 9 months pregnant with my little brother.I was 4 at the time and i had no idea...
    FiltheeSepsis FiltheeSepsis 16-17, F 12 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    Guilt Is What Keeps Me From Killing Myself

    i care about everyone and i bend over backwards for everyone but it never seems like its enough. i have hated myself for a very long time and have thought of committing suicide for years. it is my love for everyone else and my caring about what everyone else will think that...
    inconsolablenumbness inconsolablenumbness 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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    I've felt alone, depressed

    and anxious since my childhood, I have a family, they always supported and loved me, but I feel my self alone in the universe, I have scheduled a date to kill my self, 27 days from now. I am putting all my things in order. I tried to kill me in 2007, I haven't do anything since...
    Chilito Chilito 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 4

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    Fading

    It's hard to remember why or when I became who I am right now. Things have just gone worse and worse to the point I can't stand having to live inside my skin anymore. I have days in which thoughts of suicide won't go away for a minute and it's scary and lonely inside my head. I...
    888hbn 888hbn 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    It gets tiresome to keep trying to kill myself

    with no success. And now it appears im running out of time to do it.if I don't do it and succede soon I'll have to suffer and feel the pain of losing the people I love.i know thatll ill lose them anyway if I die but If I die I wont have to feel it.i wont have to watch them...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    Life Sucks

    i feel like nobody understands me. I hate being alive and I have wanted to die since I was 12. I hate myself and everything about me. I feel like I was a huge mistake, I know my parents didnt have me on purpose and they have never really liked me either. I feel like the ugliest...
    slcsux slcsux 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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    I'm in college and just failed two huge exams I

    had today. I understand that isn't the end of the world, but I've become unbelievably overwhelmed by everything that I'm doing. I'm taking 21 credits, have goals to lose weight, and overall just be more social to have a better social support system. Every chance that I seem to...
    Tracy2144 Tracy2144 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 2

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    The Cold Storm Of My Life.

    Everyday I find myself outside walking pondering my meanings of life. No arms to settle me in besides some family which even that is not much of a variation. I see myself trying to think inside my deepest thoughts trying to figure out something that will give me some clue to what...
    ChrisIsAwesome ChrisIsAwesome 18-21, M Jan 10, 2012

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    We are not a ******* family.

    my mom is a selfish ***** who couldn't care about anyone but herself. She let's her ******* **** buddy cop call me names n make fun of me I want to kill myself. I cry n scream myself to sleep each night.
    hellsonlyhostage hellsonlyhostage 18-21, F Dec 3, 2013

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    More and more pain everyday.

    time passes very slowly. going mad I think. am not a young fool. Am an adult who has no more fight left. Feel scared all the time. Miss so many people. Have family who try but to no avail. Dont want them to see me deteriorate.
    MIIDAJ MIIDAJ 26-30, M Dec 23, 2013

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    I want to kill myself.

    I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. Imagine a place where I didn't have to deal with every single thing I...
    WhyUgh WhyUgh 18-21, M 3 Responses Sep 8

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    .years And It Doesn't Get Better

    It's getting tiresome, wanting to blow my freakin head off and not actually doing it...not even sure why... Am I a coward?...no, not really, not on this subject anyway.. I'm am strangely and disturbingly decided...but I'm too...busy....NEVER UNDERASTIMATE THE ROUTINE!!! It gets...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 19, 2012

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    I'm tired, I don't have anyone who'd stop me

    either. I'm no one's first choice much less priority. I'm failing school, I'm not going to get into a four year college. I guess I could go community for a couple years but I want out of this state, i hate it here. I wanted to start and end with the same class in univerisity but...
    KayandtheCelloCats KayandtheCelloCats 18-21, F 4 Responses May 7

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    I Will Try And Hopefully Succeed Today To Die

    i have trie over 30 times and i have been saved more than once, sometimes its a neighbour a family member a friends  but im always somehow savced. it got to the point the police came rnd for a cup of tea(or thats what they said) really it was to check i was ok. Now iv moved...
    goingcrazzydaisy goingcrazzydaisy 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 13, 2010

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    Always Thought About It

    From the moment I could understand death, I've wanted to kill myself. I like to experiment and to me, death is the ultimate experiment. I'm not afraid of it and I'm not afraid to end my life yet something always holds me back. I've tried, though. I overdosed on my medication and...
    iLostMySoul iLostMySoul 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16, 2012

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    i made the worst mistake of my life

    and i didnt even realize i was doing it untill after it ruined my WHOLE life. i just feel so misguided and stupid. i didnt know what i had. i didnt know i was beautiful. no one even let me learn or i wasnt even educated. how could god be so evil?
    unlovednbroken unlovednbroken 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 22

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    Please Why Cant Anyone See That I Am Not Wanted and I Dont Belong In This World?

    i feel like ii aint wanted and no one understands me and what i have went througghh. i was talking to a friend of mine and she told me that i couldnt do it because she wouldnt no what to do with out me. i told her that i didnt want my life anymore and she sed well if i kill my...
    chavgal61 chavgal61 13-15 4 Responses Aug 18, 2009

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    I recently got tested

    for genital herpes and the doctor basically told me I have it after she looked at my outbreak. I recently had skin to skin contact with a new guy I met and I am pretty sure that it transferred. At that time I did not know I had genital herpes but now looking back at it, I feel...
    tran1994 tran1994 18-21, M 1 Response May 28

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    I want to kill myself.

    I can no longer justify my existence and endure the never ending of severe psych-ace and overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I used to believe that if I worked hard and be a decent human being I should be able to achieve my American dream by becoming a contributing member of...
    eggheadincmu eggheadincmu 41-45, M Apr 7

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    I'm tired of being rejected

    and just thrown into the gutter. All my life was just one big hole. Having kids throw rocks at me in elementary because I was fat. My art not being hung up with the rest of the school because the style. Having my own friends run away from me because I'm ugly. Having my best...
    Roskaera Roskaera 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 25

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    I Have Had Enough

    nothing matters anymore. cutting and burning isn't working. i am ruining everything. what is the point of life? there is none. at least not for someone as worthless as me. please stop trying to convince me life is worth living. i get tired of it. so i am going to commit suicide...
    LelouchZero LelouchZero 18-21, T 3 Responses Jan 19, 2011

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    I'm in a tough spot and I don't know what to do.

    I was in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years but I ended it a few days ago. I love my ex still but I have felt for a long time that our feelings might not be mutual and that she might not love me back. I went to visit her a few months ago and had the best time of my...
    xXLamialoverXx xXLamialoverXx 18-21, M 3 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I Never Thought

    I was watching tv a couple years ago and I saw a story about this girl who killed herself. I didn't understand how someone could bring themselves to do that. I thought it was ridiculous. But now I absolutely understand. I can feel how she felt. Like, as if nothing is worth living...
    MissMilan MissMilan 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 15, 2013

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    Saying Goodbye

    Posting here, where it won't create a fuss-- next week, on my 55th birthday, I am taking the exit option. Helium tanks ready, exit bag prepped, notes ready to mail, Broke, about to be evicted, losing my truck on repo-- plus all the health issues-- time to go.
    iraterhino iraterhino 51-55 Dec 2, 2013

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    I Want To Disappear

    I think about it since i was 15, when my granpa died. Since then i think nobody understands me and like me and that even my parents would be better off without me here. I wasn't a bad child but my mum is really agressive, we always argue. She always tells me that i am useless...
    lovelessbutterfly lovelessbutterfly 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 23, 2009

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    The Final Letter

    "So I'm just going to message you a little bit because I kind of want to talk to you. I just realized that I could call you, but you would probably have people over, and be unable to talk, anyway. We kinda stopped having phone conversations quite some time ago. I was...
    maezombiie maezombiie 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    Everyday I daydream about killing myself.

    I either go into kitchen get a big knife and just stab myself, take a lot of paracetamol. The one I most daydream about is getting run over by a car. I get angry and upset just seem to cry a lot not sure why I cry so much. When I get into arguments with my partner I get angry...
    Sophie1988 Sophie1988 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 27

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    My Unofficial Living Will

    I can't live anymore. My family has the power to decide what to do with my stuff. Burn it, sell it, keep it until it's all antiques. My body? Idk. Burn that ****. Actually, I really don't want to be cremated. Keep me alive by machines. No matter how many times I cut...
    SarabearPark SarabearPark 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    I don't remember the last time I went a whole

    day without fantasizing about my suicide. I probably won't end up doing it. I have an eighteen month old daughter who depends on me. Not to mention my boyfriend (her father), and my parents and sisters and whoever else. But it would be very tragic to go through your mother...
    meeeghanp7 meeeghanp7 18-21, F Sep 30

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    I've wanted to kill myself on

    and off for five years, since I was 12. But I'm getting more serious gradually. I used to just cut, but I see no point in it now, I'm getting more serious about killing myself. My life isn't getting better like everyone said it would!!!! It's getting worse!!!! And it wasnt good...
    emipurple emipurple 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 6

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    I Am All Alone In This World

    I have no family,I have no friends. When I get really lonely, I go to my phone and call any of these people I used to know and have not 1 person. I do have a boyfriend,but he's about to leave me.He said he wanted to get married but then never asked and never said happy...
    justlikemebutbetter justlikemebutbetter 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    Just Trying To Figure Out The Best Time

    My life has been a lie for over a decade. I smiled, I said all the right things and I waited for it to finally be "my turn."Now at 53 years old, I realize it is never going to be "my turn."My husband is a narcissist. The world revolves around him, and if it doesn't everyone...
    scaredallthetime scaredallthetime 51-55, F 2 Responses Jan 11, 2011

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    I Want To Kill Myself, I Want To Put A Plastic Bag On My Head And Tie The Handle Around My Neck

    I can't stop thinking about killing myself, I think about it everyday now and I don't see a real point to life. I met this guy and I fell completely in love with him, no other guy has made me feel like he does. Everything was great at the start but then things changed I fell...
    Sammylee1979 Sammylee1979 31-35 Jun 18, 2012

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    Nothing Matters Anymore...

    My wife left me and wont talk to me except to literaly tell me that just hearing my voice makes her wont to puke. Now she's with someone else. I hadly get to see my two wonderful kids that i love more than anything. I love my parents and sisters and would hate to put them through...
    idontmatter idontmatter 26-30, M Jun 2, 2011

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