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I Want to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 770 People

    Not because I have anything terribly wrong

    happening in my life, just because I don't enjoy living right now. I know that I have enjoyed living. There are happy memories that I can remember, and I've laughed a time or two. It's just that I really don' like being forced to go through these times of, shmeh meh ker shmeh...
    exileoftheabyss exileoftheabyss 22-25, M 2 days ago

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    Hi I'm 29 and I'll try to make this long story

    short I have PTSD I'm manic depressant I have severe anxiety disorder I have borderline personality disorder I've had one of the worst childhoods I've ever heard of and I want to die I've started preparing myself for this as I've already gotten one full bottle of pills after i...
    Bgtanker Bgtanker 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 1

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    I want to end it. This depression is

    so hard to live with, even when there is nothing to be depressed about.
    vtborn12009 vtborn12009 22-25 Oct 5, 2015

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    I Am All Alone In This World

    I have no family,I have no friends. When I get really lonely, I go to my phone and call any of these people I used to know and have not 1 person. I do have a boyfriend,but he's about to leave me.He said he wanted to get married but then never asked and never said happy...
    justlikemebutbetter justlikemebutbetter 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    Nothing Matters Anymore...

    My wife left me and wont talk to me except to literaly tell me that just hearing my voice makes her wont to puke. Now she's with someone else. I hadly get to see my two wonderful kids that i love more than anything. I love my parents and sisters and would hate to put them through...
    idontmatter idontmatter 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 2, 2011

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    This could hurt some people

    but it doesn't matter, I can't take it anymore. Men kill themselves way more than women in every country in the world. If people actually cared about men's pain then this wouldn't be the case. Don't bother responding, I won't be coming back.
    ofudgeme ofudgeme 31-35 Jul 5, 2015

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    I Want To Disappear

    I think about it since i was 15, when my granpa died. Since then i think nobody understands me and like me and that even my parents would be better off without me here. I wasn't a bad child but my mum is really agressive, we always argue. She always tells me that i am useless...
    lovelessbutterfly lovelessbutterfly 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 23, 2009

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    Do you ever feel like things just keep getting

    worse? No matter how many times people tell me things will get better, they just never do. Things just snowball, and on and on the depression grows, slowly obliterating any trace of me that might still be left, till I'm nothing but a numb, empty shell of my former self. I just...
    londonteen20 londonteen20 18-21, M Nov 24, 2015

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    I've had depression and anxiety

    since 9 and taken every medication on the doctor's prescription pad to try and alleviate it. Nothing works though, on top of this I'm broke, soon to be homeless, possibly sent to prison for a victimless crime and feeling completely worthless and as if nothing ever gets better...
    thebasedgod05 thebasedgod05 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    Does anyone know? Sitting in your bed,

    just staring at a blade knowing you're worthless. Saying "I want to go home", "please take me home". Knowing you had your home, in his arms but he left you. Does anyone even really like you? Is it all a facade? Why do people promise they won't leave, then do? You can only help...
    suiciderxxm suiciderxxm 18-21, F Nov 18, 2015

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    Relaxine

    Yesterday I went through my dad's Pharmacology books in search for drug concoctions that will end my life, shortly coming to the realization that attaining those drugs are almost next to impossible. Mom has bought about 80 sleeping pills from Bangladesh, I believe they are called...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 13, 2008

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    I'Ve Tried

    I've tried so hard, so much, so often, but to no avail I've failed in ever single one of my attempts. I've always been a pretty depressed kid actually. I've had the sh!ttiest childhood which I mention in all my other negative stories as well. It's really messed with my head and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    I used to only consider ending my life last year

    but now the urge to do it has gotten bigger. I can't see myself changing how I feel, and I can't see myself escaping the issues and reasons to why I just hate living. I know it may be selfish but when I have no happy future ahead then I don't see the point suffering through it...
    rcmh171822 rcmh171822 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    I'm suicidal, I need help

    and I have no idea where to turn to.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Feb 2, 2015

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    It gets tiresome to keep trying to kill myself

    with no success. And now it appears im running out of time to do it.if I don't do it and succede soon I'll have to suffer and feel the pain of losing the people I love.i know thatll ill lose them anyway if I die but If I die I wont have to feel it.i wont have to watch them...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 22-25, F 7 Responses Oct 12, 2014

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    I really want to kill myself!

    Maybe I should go to the Humber bridge and throw myself off it, or go to the White Horse and throw myself off a cliff!
    IFeelSoLonely101 IFeelSoLonely101 22-25, M Oct 23, 2015

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    Where to Start??

    Too many bills.  Mortgage in jeopardy.  Wife doesn't know.  Married 20 years.  Little to no sex. 2 Kids failing in school.  No money for college.  Mother with Alzheimer's.  Mother-in-law wants to move in.  Former star athlete now morbidly...
    Rael Rael 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 22, 2007

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    I Only Joined This Group

    To let everyone know what it is that I have learned; I committed suicide December 17th 2003. It was my goal to die, to never come back, but I did. I wish with 101% of my heart that I hadn't made such a selfish choice at the time. Someone once told me suicide is a permanent...
    angeldelinkwent angeldelinkwent 26-30, F 8 Responses Sep 20, 2009

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    Been Thinking Of Dying...

    hi, my name is may and i'm 18 years old right now.   I have been thinking about killing myself for a long time now...from what i could still remember, i try killing myself since a kid around the age of 7. I have try killing myself by overdosing myself, hanging myself, stop...
    mayvaaj mayvaaj 18-21 1 Response Oct 23, 2009

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    I want to kill myself.

    I can no longer justify my existence and endure the never ending of severe psych-ace and overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I used to believe that if I worked hard and be a decent human being I should be able to achieve my American dream by becoming a contributing member of...
    eggheadincmu eggheadincmu 46-50, M Apr 7, 2014

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    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 25, 2015

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    I Have Had Enough

    nothing matters anymore. cutting and burning isn't working. i am ruining everything. what is the point of life? there is none. at least not for someone as worthless as me. please stop trying to convince me life is worth living. i get tired of it. so i am going to commit suicide...
    LelouchZero LelouchZero 18-21, T 3 Responses Jan 19, 2011

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    Always Thought About It

    From the moment I could understand death, I've wanted to kill myself. I like to experiment and to me, death is the ultimate experiment. I'm not afraid of it and I'm not afraid to end my life yet something always holds me back. I've tried, though. I overdosed on my medication and...
    iLostMySoul iLostMySoul 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 16, 2012

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    My name is Ashlie, I'm 22

    and am a housekeeping supervisor. I'm sorry I don't really know where to start but I guess I can start by saying I constantly think about suicide. As far as I can remember I've tried or thought about it. When I was a child I tried hanging, drowning and choking my self but I...
    ashlieisstillhere ashlieisstillhere 22-25, F 4 Responses May 20, 2014

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    I'm in college and just failed two huge exams I

    had today. I understand that isn't the end of the world, but I've become unbelievably overwhelmed by everything that I'm doing. I'm taking 21 credits, have goals to lose weight, and overall just be more social to have a better social support system. Every chance that I seem to...
    Tracy2144 Tracy2144 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    My family is the main reason

    why i get so depressed all the dam ******* time like why not just get out of my life and just LEAVE ME ALONE?! my mother is a popping pill addict who is in denial and is "sick" with lupus RA and seriously uses that **** for an excuse for everything, she is lazy, bi polar...
    princess014 princess014 18-21, F Feb 9, 2015

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    I have been thinking about suicide almost

    everyday for awhile.. and a part of it sounds really relieving...I have battled depression for pretty much my whole life... Its just really hard for me to be happy.. the only time i am ever happy is when I smoke weed, I like to gamble too..
    shitfaced77 shitfaced77 22-25, M 3 Responses Dec 29, 2015

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    I'm paralyzed due to a spinal cord injury I

    suffered when i was 18. I'm constantly in pain and I'm alone. I've been in love, but I've never been loved back and I never will. I'm also a doctor and have become increasingly disillusioned with my work. I see patients like me, and I lie to them that they're going to be ok...
    awais87 awais87 26-30, M Jan 31, 2015

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    Life sucks big time. **** life.

    I wish I can just end my miserable existence. I was never meant to exist to begin with, my existence is a mistake. I'd rather shower in cyanide than life another day.
    SoulCoffee SoulCoffee 26-30, M Oct 25, 2015

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    I am tired of being alive.

    I want to buy a shotgun but I don't have the money, I just need a part time job for one month and that should have enough. I want a girlfriend so badly. I want to be hugged and kissed and told that I'm loved. Id love to take a beautiful girl out to dinner but I'm ugly now and I...
    Thefightingangel Thefightingangel 22-25, M 2 Responses Sep 12, 2015

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    I Feel So Alone...

    I always feel like killing my self, im just too much of a wimp to do anything about it, i dont like pain even if it means things will get better. My two bestest friends in the world just ditched me for no reason, 1 day we were closer than ive ever been to anybody, next they...
    jenny95 jenny95 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2009

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    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 15

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    been thinking about it

    for a while. Had the gun to my head several times but every time i do it i get closer and closer. Eventually i will do it no a whim or by accident. I'm miserable, I feel worthless and nobody likes me.
    Jacksoncw Jacksoncw 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 29, 2015

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    Right Now..someone Kill Me.

    I don't care how. shot me,stab me, i don't care how i die. i just want to die right now. I just want to pop all the pills in the house but if that does not work. ill just get my dad's gun out his room if he didn't lock it up...
    BrokenButterflies BrokenButterflies 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 11, 2010

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    Everyday... I Want to Kill Myself...

    In the mornings I wake up... look out of my window... see the sun shining, birds chirping... I feel what a wonderful day today is... I come out of my room, see the accusation in the eyes of my parents... I'm fat, ugly, stupid, dumb, useless, "a bad influence"... I...
    iniquitousangel iniquitousangel 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 8, 2009

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    Wanted to do this for awhile now.

    I set a date in september when hopefully I'll be able to do it. I'm trying to force myself to stick around and see a few things through before I finally free myself. I'm best man for a friends wedding over the summer, certainly don't want my death to ruin his wedding plans. Also...
    awais87 awais87 26-30, M Apr 27, 2015

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    Coward

    I often fantasize killing myself. I think to my self, what seemingly innocent contraptions I have in my proximity that will enable me to achieve this goal. I think I am one very pathetic individual who is too ******* scared and dumb to do the deed. I am an idiot and a stupid...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 9, 2007

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    I've felt this way for

    so long and it seems like this is the only way out. I'll try. I'll try more, I'll try different kinds of therapy, but it all seems so pointless. I just want to die.
    waterteacoffee waterteacoffee 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2015

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    But all types of suicide are

    so painful and traumatizing to me. What can i do to go away and never come back?! I wish i knew, i really do, because there's only suffering in my life, and i don't know what else to do anymore, besides isolate myself from everyone and everything, as much as i can. How is it...
    PureBlueLight PureBlueLight 26-30, M Jul 20, 2015

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    I am useless and worthless I have nothing to

    live for im a failure but at the same time I want help I want to leave but then I want to stay someone help me??? Please??
    Useless95 Useless95 18-21, F Aug 12, 2015

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    I Want To Kill Myself, I Want To Put A Plastic Bag On My Head And Tie The Handle Around My Neck

    I can't stop thinking about killing myself, I think about it everyday now and I don't see a real point to life. I met this guy and I fell completely in love with him, no other guy has made me feel like he does. Everything was great at the start but then things changed I fell...
    Sammylee1979 Sammylee1979 31-35 Jun 18, 2012

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    When I was 17, I decided

    that I was going to end my life. I locked myself in my room, took a rope, tied one end to my closet door and fastened the other around my neck. My vision began fading immediately from the lack of oxygen, but I was never in any pain. Yet, I changed my mind and that was the worst...
    BestForLast92 BestForLast92 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 1, 2015

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    My Name Is Nobody

    I'm not happy with myself. I have emphysema and copd, plus really bad arthritis in my hip. I cant get around very good. If I don't keep busy I sit around and think way to much. I had a thought tonite that if about 90% of americans had time to actually sit and think about there...
    Nobody2568 Nobody2568 41-45, M 2 Responses Oct 23, 2012

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    Life brings nothing but suffering.

    I want to die. That is my one and only wish. And yet I'm forced to keep living.
    ayako18 ayako18 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    I really don't need to live anymore.

    I cannot find joy or happiness in anything in life. I have been miserable for too long, and it is time to be in peace. I want drink alcohol, take. 5 percocets and 3 xanax pills. Will that kill me? I don't want to have a failed suicide attempt.
    jvd19xx jvd19xx 18-21, F Apr 10, 2015

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