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I Want to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 733 People

    I don't remember the last time I went a whole

    day without fantasizing about my suicide. I probably won't end up doing it. I have an eighteen month old daughter who depends on me. Not to mention my boyfriend (her father), and my parents and sisters and whoever else. But it would be very tragic to go through your mother...
    meeeghanp7 meeeghanp7 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 30, 2014

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    Guilt Is What Keeps Me From Killing Myself

    i care about everyone and i bend over backwards for everyone but it never seems like its enough. i have hated myself for a very long time and have thought of committing suicide for years. it is my love for everyone else and my caring about what everyone else will think that...
    inconsolablenumbness inconsolablenumbness 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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    Everything hurts so ******* much.

    It hurts to breath, it hurts to think, it hurts to cry. I don't even know what's wrong, but I feel so alone. I just want someone to hear me, to notice me, to see how much it hurts. Is there anyone listening? Please?
    aislinn33 aislinn33 18-21, F Jul 29, 2014

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    I want to kill myself,

    but I know I cannot because it would hurt my parents too much. I have wanted to end my life from the time I was thirteen, but I though things would get better. They did for a couple years in high school, now in college things have just been going down down down hill. I think I...
    Emilyyyyy Emilyyyyy 18-21 3 Responses Dec 6, 2014

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    I Feel So Alone...

    I always feel like killing my self, im just too much of a wimp to do anything about it, i dont like pain even if it means things will get better. My two bestest friends in the world just ditched me for no reason, 1 day we were closer than ive ever been to anybody, next they...
    jenny95 jenny95 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2009

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    I'm in college and just failed two huge exams I

    had today. I understand that isn't the end of the world, but I've become unbelievably overwhelmed by everything that I'm doing. I'm taking 21 credits, have goals to lose weight, and overall just be more social to have a better social support system. Every chance that I seem to...
    Tracy2144 Tracy2144 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    Where to Start??

    Too many bills.  Mortgage in jeopardy.  Wife doesn't know.  Married 20 years.  Little to no sex. 2 Kids failing in school.  No money for college.  Mother with Alzheimer's.  Mother-in-law wants to move in.  Former star athlete now morbidly...
    Rael Rael 46-50, M Oct 22, 2007

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    My family is the main reason

    why i get so depressed all the dam ******* time like why not just get out of my life and just LEAVE ME ALONE?! my mother is a popping pill addict who is in denial and is "sick" with lupus RA and seriously uses that **** for an excuse for everything, she is lazy, bi polar...
    princess014 princess014 18-21, F Feb 9

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    Everyday... I Want to Kill Myself...

    In the mornings I wake up... look out of my window... see the sun shining, birds chirping... I feel what a wonderful day today is... I come out of my room, see the accusation in the eyes of my parents... I'm fat, ugly, stupid, dumb, useless, "a bad influence"... I...
    iniquitousangel iniquitousangel 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 8, 2009

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    I want to kill myself.

    I can no longer justify my existence and endure the never ending of severe psych-ace and overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I used to believe that if I worked hard and be a decent human being I should be able to achieve my American dream by becoming a contributing member of...
    eggheadincmu eggheadincmu 46-50, M Apr 7, 2014

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    Nothing Matters Anymore...

    My wife left me and wont talk to me except to literaly tell me that just hearing my voice makes her wont to puke. Now she's with someone else. I hadly get to see my two wonderful kids that i love more than anything. I love my parents and sisters and would hate to put them through...
    idontmatter idontmatter 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 2, 2011

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    The Cold Storm Of My Life.

    Everyday I find myself outside walking pondering my meanings of life. No arms to settle me in besides some family which even that is not much of a variation. I see myself trying to think inside my deepest thoughts trying to figure out something that will give me some clue to what...
    ChrisIsAwesome ChrisIsAwesome 18-21, M Jan 10, 2012

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    .years And It Doesn't Get Better

    It's getting tiresome, wanting to blow my freakin head off and not actually doing it...not even sure why... Am I a coward?...no, not really, not on this subject anyway.. I'm am strangely and disturbingly decided...but I'm too...busy....NEVER UNDERASTIMATE THE ROUTINE!!! It gets...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 19, 2012

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    I've felt alone, depressed

    and anxious since my childhood, I have a family, they always supported and loved me, but I feel my self alone in the universe, I have scheduled a date to kill my self, 27 days from now. I am putting all my things in order. I tried to kill me in 2007, I haven't do anything since...
    Chilito Chilito 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 4, 2014

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    I wanted to kill myself twice

    even though I grew up in a Christian home. I grew up learning how to read the bible, learned how to pray, I went to church, I learned about my faith in God and I love people too. I was slow learner in school, so people made fun of me. They called me retarded. They teased me...
    lovingmeisthebest lovingmeisthebest 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2014

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    I live in Burlington,

    Ontario. If you want to die with me e-mail me
    HndVodka HndVodka 22-25 Dec 13, 2014

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    Relaxine

    Yesterday I went through my dad's Pharmacology books in search for drug concoctions that will end my life, shortly coming to the realization that attaining those drugs are almost next to impossible. Mom has bought about 80 sleeping pills from Bangladesh, I believe they are called...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 13, 2008

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    I used to only consider ending my life last year

    but now the urge to do it has gotten bigger. I can't see myself changing how I feel, and I can't see myself escaping the issues and reasons to why I just hate living. I know it may be selfish but when I have no happy future ahead then I don't see the point suffering through it...
    rcmh171822 rcmh171822 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    I Am All Alone In This World

    I have no family,I have no friends. When I get really lonely, I go to my phone and call any of these people I used to know and have not 1 person. I do have a boyfriend,but he's about to leave me.He said he wanted to get married but then never asked and never said happy...
    justlikemebutbetter justlikemebutbetter 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    I Only Joined This Group

    To let everyone know what it is that I have learned; I committed suicide December 17th 2003. It was my goal to die, to never come back, but I did. I wish with 101% of my heart that I hadn't made such a selfish choice at the time. Someone once told me suicide is a permanent...
    angeldelinkwent angeldelinkwent 22-25, F 8 Responses Sep 20, 2009

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    I Want To Disappear

    I think about it since i was 15, when my granpa died. Since then i think nobody understands me and like me and that even my parents would be better off without me here. I wasn't a bad child but my mum is really agressive, we always argue. She always tells me that i am useless...
    lovelessbutterfly lovelessbutterfly 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 23, 2009

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    I really don't need to live anymore.

    I cannot find joy or happiness in anything in life. I have been miserable for too long, and it is time to be in peace. I want drink alcohol, take. 5 percocets and 3 xanax pills. Will that kill me? I don't want to have a failed suicide attempt.
    jvd19xx jvd19xx 18-21, F Apr 10

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    I Will Try And Hopefully Succeed Today To Die

    i have trie over 30 times and i have been saved more than once, sometimes its a neighbour a family member a friends  but im always somehow savced. it got to the point the police came rnd for a cup of tea(or thats what they said) really it was to check i was ok. Now iv moved...
    goingcrazzydaisy goingcrazzydaisy 22-25, F Sep 13, 2010

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    I don't want to live anymore.

    I feel like I'm a nuisance and a detriment to those around me. I want to be punished. I need to suffer and die. I want to hang myself or OD on some painful medication. I hate myself.
    sorrowfulmind sorrowfulmind 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 30, 2014

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    I'Ve Tried

    I've tried so hard, so much, so often, but to no avail I've failed in ever single one of my attempts. I've always been a pretty depressed kid actually. I've had the sh!ttiest childhood which I mention in all my other negative stories as well. It's really messed with my head and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    I want to kill myself.

    I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. Imagine a place where I didn't have to deal with every single thing I...
    WhyUgh WhyUgh 18-21, M 4 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    Lately I have felt like killing myself !

    I have had a couple of setbacks, and a warning from the Dean about my studies. Before this everything was alright, but now it seems so pointless. I have been considering different ways to kill myself !
    jjbabb18 jjbabb18 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    I Wish I Was Dead - Read This If You Are Hopeless!!!

    ~~~~~EDIT May 2nd - READ THIS ENTIRE POST - Life is not hopeless. I thought it was too. Read this entire post and the comments. I don't know where to start. I think that I should clarify that I don't want to kill myself, I just wish I could stop living. Before...
    dammit075 dammit075 18-21 10 Responses Aug 24, 2009

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    I'm paralyzed due to a spinal cord injury I

    suffered when i was 18. I'm constantly in pain and I'm alone. I've been in love, but I've never been loved back and I never will. I'm also a doctor and have become increasingly disillusioned with my work. I see patients like me, and I lie to them that they're going to be ok...
    awais87 awais87 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 31

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    I Have Had Enough

    nothing matters anymore. cutting and burning isn't working. i am ruining everything. what is the point of life? there is none. at least not for someone as worthless as me. please stop trying to convince me life is worth living. i get tired of it. so i am going to commit suicide...
    LelouchZero LelouchZero 18-21, T 3 Responses Jan 19, 2011

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    I feel the need to kill myself on NY's eve

    and I'm afraid I will do it. I was thinking about suicide many times before - my whole life consists of extreme mood swings and intensive painful emotions (even positive emotions can be so intensive it physically hurts), but this time is different. For the past month I feel like...
    GreenEyedDemon GreenEyedDemon 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2014

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    It gets tiresome to keep trying to kill myself

    with no success. And now it appears im running out of time to do it.if I don't do it and succede soon I'll have to suffer and feel the pain of losing the people I love.i know thatll ill lose them anyway if I die but If I die I wont have to feel it.i wont have to watch them...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 12, 2014

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    I recently got tested

    for genital herpes and the doctor basically told me I have it after she looked at my outbreak. I recently had skin to skin contact with a new guy I met and I am pretty sure that it transferred. At that time I did not know I had genital herpes but now looking back at it, I feel...
    tran1994 tran1994 18-21, M 2 Responses May 28, 2014

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    I'm suicidal, I need help

    and I have no idea where to turn to.
    EpicChick22 EpicChick22 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 2

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    I cant stop messing things up with my husband.

    He admitted that he feels like I trap him. I want to work on things to better myself as a person but he wants to leave me. This will be the third time hes left. I dont know what to do. He says he doesn't believe it when I say I love him. I cant bear going through this again. I...
    pandaorchid pandaorchid 22-25, F Mar 24, 2014

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    My name is Ashlie, I'm 22

    and am a housekeeping supervisor. I'm sorry I don't really know where to start but I guess I can start by saying I constantly think about suicide. As far as I can remember I've tried or thought about it. When I was a child I tried hanging, drowning and choking my self but I...
    ashlieisstillhere ashlieisstillhere 22-25, F 4 Responses May 20, 2014

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    Suicidal

    i want to kill myself and dont know how to handle these emotions or thoughts. I just want to take all my restoril and not wake up...i feel i am a failure at school, moods, life, but im only 22 years old with a lot ahead of me how do i go ahead and move on and not let go???
    BPDSAM23 BPDSAM23 26-30, F 4 Responses Sep 11, 2009

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    Life brings nothing but suffering.

    I want to die. That is my one and only wish. And yet I'm forced to keep living.
    ayako18 ayako18 31-35, F 5 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    Coward

    I often fantasize killing myself. I think to my self, what seemingly innocent contraptions I have in my proximity that will enable me to achieve this goal. I think I am one very pathetic individual who is too ******* scared and dumb to do the deed. I am an idiot and a stupid...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 9, 2007

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    Right Now..someone Kill Me.

    I don't care how. shot me,stab me, i don't care how i die. i just want to die right now. I just want to pop all the pills in the house but if that does not work. ill just get my dad's gun out his room if he didn't lock it up...
    BrokenButterflies BrokenButterflies 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 11, 2010

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    Always Thought About It

    From the moment I could understand death, I've wanted to kill myself. I like to experiment and to me, death is the ultimate experiment. I'm not afraid of it and I'm not afraid to end my life yet something always holds me back. I've tried, though. I overdosed on my medication and...
    iLostMySoul iLostMySoul 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16, 2012

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    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 25

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    Wanted it as long as I can remember.

    Know for my birthday wish when I was 10yrs old was to kill myself. Still dont see why I just did, life somehow only gets worse and worse for me. You keep thinking it cant get worse, but life is one sadistic ***. Always finds a way.
    Torturedprince Torturedprince 26-30, M 3 Responses Sep 17, 2014

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    Maybe not today. or tomorrow.

    But someday, I'll have the courage to. I've been fighting a losing battle with depression for too long. Everyone who was once on my side has given up on me. I have nothing left. I've lost or pushed everyone away and now it's time for me to finally accept that I am hopeless. I...
    FrootLoopsRok FrootLoopsRok 18-21, M 3 Responses Oct 26, 2014

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    Been Thinking Of Dying...

    hi, my name is may and i'm 18 years old right now.   I have been thinking about killing myself for a long time now...from what i could still remember, i try killing myself since a kid around the age of 7. I have try killing myself by overdosing myself, hanging myself, stop...
    mayvaaj mayvaaj 18-21 1 Response Oct 23, 2009

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    I've wanted to kill myself on

    and off for five years, since I was 12. But I'm getting more serious gradually. I used to just cut, but I see no point in it now, I'm getting more serious about killing myself. My life isn't getting better like everyone said it would!!!! It's getting worse!!!! And it wasnt good...
    emipurple emipurple 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 6, 2014

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