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I Want to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 707 People

    Down Deep

    been down deep for years went to dr. she put me on antidepressant worked good for a week. now down low as ever. only good thing i can have sex longer. what should i do?
    zdjqk zdjqk 31-35, M Nov 15, 2013

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    I Want To Kill Myself

    I am losing all hope. I’m 24 y.o. and I have nothing to be happy about in life Nothing and no one to live for. I was born with Sickle Cell Anemia, had 2 strokes at the age of 7, paralyzed on the right side of my body for months, and had a Bone Marrow transplant at 13 and all...
    CeceAsia1 CeceAsia1 22-25, F Oct 3, 2013

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    Just Trying To Figure Out The Best Time

    My life has been a lie for over a decade. I smiled, I said all the right things and I waited for it to finally be "my turn."Now at 53 years old, I realize it is never going to be "my turn."My husband is a narcissist. The world revolves around him, and if it doesn't everyone...
    scaredallthetime scaredallthetime 51-55, F 2 Responses Jan 11, 2011

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    I Want To Disappear

    I think about it since i was 15, when my granpa died. Since then i think nobody understands me and like me and that even my parents would be better off without me here. I wasn't a bad child but my mum is really agressive, we always argue. She always tells me that i am useless...
    lovelessbutterfly lovelessbutterfly 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 23, 2009

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    I'm in a tough spot and I don't know what to do.

    I was in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years but I ended it a few days ago. I love my ex still but I have felt for a long time that our feelings might not be mutual and that she might not love me back. I went to visit her a few months ago and had the best time of my...
    xXLamialoverXx xXLamialoverXx 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I've wanted to kill myself on

    and off for five years, since I was 12. But I'm getting more serious gradually. I used to just cut, but I see no point in it now, I'm getting more serious about killing myself. My life isn't getting better like everyone said it would!!!! It's getting worse!!!! And it wasnt good...
    emipurple emipurple 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    Everyday... I Want to Kill Myself...

    In the mornings I wake up... look out of my window... see the sun shining, birds chirping... I feel what a wonderful day today is... I come out of my room, see the accusation in the eyes of my parents... I'm fat, ugly, stupid, dumb, useless, "a bad influence"... I...
    iniquitousangel iniquitousangel 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 8, 2009

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    My boyfriend turned out to be a psychopath.

    I adored him. We lived together. He raped me one night when I said I was too tired. Then he acted like nothing happened and said he though that's what wanted . He's a effing liar. And it broke me. He was evil and wanted to know everything I did. But said he loved me. That I was...
    hurtstoobad hurtstoobad 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 28

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    Been Thinking Of Dying...

    hi, my name is may and i'm 18 years old right now.   I have been thinking about killing myself for a long time now...from what i could still remember, i try killing myself since a kid around the age of 7. I have try killing myself by overdosing myself, hanging myself, stop...
    mayvaaj mayvaaj 18-21 1 Response Oct 23, 2009

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    Coward

    I often fantasize killing myself. I think to my self, what seemingly innocent contraptions I have in my proximity that will enable me to achieve this goal. I think I am one very pathetic individual who is too ******* scared and dumb to do the deed. I am an idiot and a stupid...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 9, 2007

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    I Never Thought

    I was watching tv a couple years ago and I saw a story about this girl who killed herself. I didn't understand how someone could bring themselves to do that. I thought it was ridiculous. But now I absolutely understand. I can feel how she felt. Like, as if nothing is worth living...
    MissMilan MissMilan 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2013

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    Always Thought About It

    From the moment I could understand death, I've wanted to kill myself. I like to experiment and to me, death is the ultimate experiment. I'm not afraid of it and I'm not afraid to end my life yet something always holds me back. I've tried, though. I overdosed on my medication and...
    iLostMySoul iLostMySoul 18-21, F Jun 16, 2012

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    In The End

    i feel a void that can't be filled. i've been searching for the way to fill it my entire life. i have no friends. i have no one to go to. everyone thinks i'm some put together insightful person, i have no one real. i look at myself in the mirror and i can't recognize my own...
    reef2 reef2 31-35, F Jun 24, 2012

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    I Am All Alone In This World

    I have no family,I have no friends. When I get really lonely, I go to my phone and call any of these people I used to know and have not 1 person. I do have a boyfriend,but he's about to leave me.He said he wanted to get married but then never asked and never said happy...
    justlikemebutbetter justlikemebutbetter 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    Lately I have felt like killing myself !

    I have had a couple of setbacks, and a warning from the Dean about my studies. Before this everything was alright, but now it seems so pointless. I have been considering different ways to kill myself !
    jjbabb18 jjbabb18 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 28

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    I'm tired of being rejected

    and just thrown into the gutter. All my life was just one big hole. Having kids throw rocks at me in elementary because I was fat. My art not being hung up with the rest of the school because the style. Having my own friends run away from me because I'm ugly. Having my best...
    Roskaera Roskaera 18-21, F Feb 25

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    Nothing To Live For...

    Nothing to live for - how can I commit suicide so I can go peacefully in my sleep. I am 55 years old. I am married but my husband doesn't love me anymore because I no longer enjoy sex - he is seven years younger than me and wants and need sex- he won't cheat on me so he wants...
    Lanalee3 Lanalee3 56-60, F 2 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    I Wish I Was Dead - Read This If You Are Hopeless!!!

    ~~~~~EDIT May 2nd - READ THIS ENTIRE POST - Life is not hopeless. I thought it was too. Read this entire post and the comments. I don't know where to start. I think that I should clarify that I don't want to kill myself, I just wish I could stop living. Before...
    dammit075 dammit075 18-21 10 Responses Aug 24, 2009

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    I Want To Kill Myself, I Want To Put A Plastic Bag On My Head And Tie The Handle Around My Neck

    I can't stop thinking about killing myself, I think about it everyday now and I don't see a real point to life. I met this guy and I fell completely in love with him, no other guy has made me feel like he does. Everything was great at the start but then things changed I fell...
    Sammylee1979 Sammylee1979 31-35 Jun 18, 2012

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    Guilt Is What Keeps Me From Killing Myself

    i care about everyone and i bend over backwards for everyone but it never seems like its enough. i have hated myself for a very long time and have thought of committing suicide for years. it is my love for everyone else and my caring about what everyone else will think that...
    inconsolablenumbness inconsolablenumbness 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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    My Name Is Nobody

    I'm not happy with myself. I have emphysema and copd, plus really bad arthritis in my hip. I cant get around very good. If I don't keep busy I sit around and think way to much. I had a thought tonite that if about 90% of americans had time to actually sit and think about there...
    Nobody2568 Nobody2568 41-45, M Oct 23, 2012

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    I've felt alone, depressed

    and anxious since my childhood, I have a family, they always supported and loved me, but I feel my self alone in the universe, I have scheduled a date to kill my self, 27 days from now. I am putting all my things in order. I tried to kill me in 2007, I haven't do anything since...
    Chilito Chilito 26-30, M Mar 4

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    I Have Had Enough

    nothing matters anymore. cutting and burning isn't working. i am ruining everything. what is the point of life? there is none. at least not for someone as worthless as me. please stop trying to convince me life is worth living. i get tired of it. so i am going to commit suicide...
    LelouchZero LelouchZero 18-21, T 3 Responses Jan 19, 2011

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    We are not a ******* family.

    my mom is a selfish ***** who couldn't care about anyone but herself. She let's her ******* **** buddy cop call me names n make fun of me I want to kill myself. I cry n scream myself to sleep each night.
    hellsonlyhostage hellsonlyhostage 18-21, F Dec 3, 2013

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    Everyday I daydream about killing myself.

    I either go into kitchen get a big knife and just stab myself, take a lot of paracetamol. The one I most daydream about is getting run over by a car. I get angry and upset just seem to cry a lot not sure why I cry so much. When I get into arguments with my partner I get angry...
    Sophie1988 Sophie1988 26-30, F Feb 27

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    There's This Boy

    I would have given the world up for him. I focused my life on him believing he was going to be all I ever knew. Now I get sick everytime I talk to him. My stomach churns and tears spill out of my eyes and I cry and cry and cry. Everyone hates it when I cry because I cry over...
    SarabearPark SarabearPark 18-21, F Nov 4, 2013

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    Saying Goodbye

    Posting here, where it won't create a fuss-- next week, on my 55th birthday, I am taking the exit option. Helium tanks ready, exit bag prepped, notes ready to mail, Broke, about to be evicted, losing my truck on repo-- plus all the health issues-- time to go.
    iraterhino iraterhino 51-55 Dec 2, 2013

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    Where to Start??

    Too many bills.  Mortgage in jeopardy.  Wife doesn't know.  Married 20 years.  Little to no sex. 2 Kids failing in school.  No money for college.  Mother with Alzheimer's.  Mother-in-law wants to move in.  Former star athlete now morbidly...
    Rael Rael 46-50, M Oct 22, 2007

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    WTF Is Wrong With Me...???

    So here I am at the house Been here most the day. She lives in CO, while I am in TX working. I only get to come home every few weeks. I caught her in an affair a few months ago, and we are supposedly trying to work things out... Wife got home didn't say **** to me, until I...
    Dhuffman090 Dhuffman090 41-45 2 Responses Nov 9, 2013

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    I'Ve Tried

    I've tried so hard, so much, so often, but to no avail I've failed in ever single one of my attempts. I've always been a pretty depressed kid actually. I've had the sh!ttiest childhood which I mention in all my other negative stories as well. It's really messed with my head and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    My Screwed Up Life

    When I was 5 years old two of my cousins would drag me out in the woods physically abuse me where I ended up waking up next morning with both my entire legs bruised. They would go to Arizona and trash me to my cousins I didn't know very well. So when they come they trash me and...
    maddieelizabeth maddieelizabeth 18-21, F Nov 26, 2013

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    I Won't Ask God

    I won't ask Him to bring you back to me, because I know that you've moved on. I won't ask Him to make you see that I can still do good, because I know you won't believe it. I won't ask Him to make my aunt come back, because she is in a better place. I won't ask Him to give...
    SarabearPark SarabearPark 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 6, 2013

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    Useless And Not Needed

    im useless and not needed by anyone whats the point?
    IFeelSoLonely101 IFeelSoLonely101 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 10, 2013

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    I Have Nothing To Live For

    I feel like I failed at life. The man I loved more than anything left me three months ago like all the years we spent together meant nothing. It wasn't the first time. People have the tendency of leaving me alone once they don't need my assistance. Nobody can love me, for some...
    CravingHeart CravingHeart 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 29, 2013

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    Fading

    It's hard to remember why or when I became who I am right now. Things have just gone worse and worse to the point I can't stand having to live inside my skin anymore. I have days in which thoughts of suicide won't go away for a minute and it's scary and lonely inside my head. I...
    888hbn 888hbn 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    Suicidal

    i want to kill myself and dont know how to handle these emotions or thoughts. I just want to take all my restoril and not wake up...i feel i am a failure at school, moods, life, but im only 22 years old with a lot ahead of me how do i go ahead and move on and not let go???
    BPDSAM23 BPDSAM23 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 11, 2009

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    I Don't See The Light Anymore.

    I've hit the dead end. I'm poor, I live in a basement sharing a room with my parents. I'm lucky if I eat one meal a day. I don't have a car, my mom doesn't have a car, and my dad uses his work van and works all day. I cannot find a job in my area. I have intense social anxiety...
    antisocialsmoker antisocialsmoker 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

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    Relaxine

    Yesterday I went through my dad's Pharmacology books in search for drug concoctions that will end my life, shortly coming to the realization that attaining those drugs are almost next to impossible. Mom has bought about 80 sleeping pills from Bangladesh, I believe they are called...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 13, 2008

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    Right Now..someone Kill Me.

    I don't care how. shot me,stab me, i don't care how i die. i just want to die right now. I just want to pop all the pills in the house but if that does not work. ill just get my dad's gun out his room if he didn't lock it up...
    BrokenButterflies BrokenButterflies 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 11, 2010

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    Why Im Craving Suicide

    My life started out happily i guess.I had a family,a dysfunctional one,but it was a family.The first thing i remember is my father kicking my mother in the stomach with a steel toed boot while she was 9 months pregnant with my little brother.I was 4 at the time and i had no idea...
    FiltheeSepsis FiltheeSepsis 16-17, F 12 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    When It Is Time...

    I want to have one wild weekend with someone who also chooses to end her or his life. I want to do things I haven't done for a long time. A couple of drinks, unprotected sex with (a) stranger(s), etc. and then walk into the ocean together. Or toss a coin and the person who wins...
    wimnj wimnj 51-55, M 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    I Already Tried Once

    I tried to kill myself back in Aug. obviously it failed. I am not used to failure, and the things that have happened since have not changed my mind about killing myself. If anything, I am even more determined now. Just so many things gong on with my wife, and myself. Wife is...
    Dhuffman090 Dhuffman090 41-45 3 Responses Nov 6, 2013

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    The Cold Storm Of My Life.

    Everyday I find myself outside walking pondering my meanings of life. No arms to settle me in besides some family which even that is not much of a variation. I see myself trying to think inside my deepest thoughts trying to figure out something that will give me some clue to what...
    ChrisIsAwesome ChrisIsAwesome 18-21, M Jan 10, 2012

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    Down Deep

    been down deep for years went to dr. she put me on antidepressant worked good for a week. now down low as ever. only good thing i can have sex longer. what should i do?
    zdjqk zdjqk 31-35, M Nov 15, 2013

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    Please Why Cant Anyone See That I Am Not Wanted and I Dont Belong In This World?

    i feel like ii aint wanted and no one understands me and what i have went througghh. i was talking to a friend of mine and she told me that i couldnt do it because she wouldnt no what to do with out me. i told her that i didnt want my life anymore and she sed well if i kill my...
    chavgal61 chavgal61 13-15 4 Responses Aug 18, 2009

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    My Unofficial Living Will

    I can't live anymore. My family has the power to decide what to do with my stuff. Burn it, sell it, keep it until it's all antiques. My body? Idk. Burn that ****. Actually, I really don't want to be cremated. Keep me alive by machines. No matter how many times I cut...
    SarabearPark SarabearPark 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2013

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    .years And It Doesn't Get Better

    It's getting tiresome, wanting to blow my freakin head off and not actually doing it...not even sure why... Am I a coward?...no, not really, not on this subject anyway.. I'm am strangely and disturbingly decided...but I'm too...busy....NEVER UNDERASTIMATE THE ROUTINE!!! It gets...
    TurbulentDiffusion TurbulentDiffusion 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 19, 2012

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    I don't want to live anymore.

    I feel like I'm a nuisance and a detriment to those around me. I want to be punished. I need to suffer and die. I want to hang myself or OD on some painful medication. I hate myself.
    sorrowfulmind sorrowfulmind 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 30

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    when I was 9 years old I was sexually abused by

    my dad. It happened till the age of 14 when I told the police. My mum didn't "believe me" and let me go into care. In care I tried to kill myself and ended up locked up in a ****** secure unit. Yet she came to visit me? Annddd after about 9 months being in there I was in a care...
    rebecca95123 rebecca95123 18-21, F Dec 26, 2013

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    The Final Letter

    "So I'm just going to message you a little bit because I kind of want to talk to you. I just realized that I could call you, but you would probably have people over, and be unable to talk, anyway. We kinda stopped having phone conversations quite some time ago. I was...
    maezombiie maezombiie 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    I Only Joined This Group

    To let everyone know what it is that I have learned; I committed suicide December 17th 2003. It was my goal to die, to never come back, but I did. I wish with 101% of my heart that I hadn't made such a selfish choice at the time. Someone once told me suicide is a permanent...
    angeldelinkwent angeldelinkwent 22-25, F 9 Responses Sep 20, 2009

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    I Am Ready

    I have always had low self esteem. Well my grandmother hated me; she said I needed a bra that I would never be married and so on, not to mention the fact that I was short, fat and wore glasses. All this before I was less than 12 years old. It should be easy enough o tell that I...
    larrycg2 larrycg2 36-40 Jul 21, 2013

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    Nothing Matters Anymore...

    My wife left me and wont talk to me except to literaly tell me that just hearing my voice makes her wont to puke. Now she's with someone else. I hadly get to see my two wonderful kids that i love more than anything. I love my parents and sisters and would hate to put them through...
    idontmatter idontmatter 26-30, M Jun 2, 2011

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    Have most of the time

    since I was 11...for a lot of different reasons.Sometimes I get better and then worse than before. I just realized one of the few times I'm actually happy is when I think about the day I finally get to die....
    SparklyRain SparklyRain 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    I want to kill myself.

    I can no longer justify my existence and endure the never ending of severe psych-ace and overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I used to believe that if I worked hard and be a decent human being I should be able to achieve my American dream by becoming a contributing member of...
    eggheadincmu eggheadincmu 41-45, M Apr 7

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    I Will Try And Hopefully Succeed Today To Die

    i have trie over 30 times and i have been saved more than once, sometimes its a neighbour a family member a friends  but im always somehow savced. it got to the point the police came rnd for a cup of tea(or thats what they said) really it was to check i was ok. Now iv moved...
    goingcrazzydaisy goingcrazzydaisy 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 13, 2010

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    More and more pain everyday.

    time passes very slowly. going mad I think. am not a young fool. Am an adult who has no more fight left. Feel scared all the time. Miss so many people. Have family who try but to no avail. Dont want them to see me deteriorate.
    MIIDAJ MIIDAJ 26-30, M Dec 23, 2013

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