I Want to Know If You Have Any Good Jokes to Share

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 111 People

    Airman Jones was assigned to the induction

    center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this...
    zydeko zydeko
    Jun 22, 2015

    A Friend Told Me This One..

    It's one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard: A father and his son walk by a house of pleasure. The son asks his father: "Dad, what is this?" "Well.. you can buy pleasure there." Later that day the father gives his son 20$. The son decides to go to the...
    deleted deleted
    Aug 25, 2008

    -doug Benson

    "So the girl's f** *king melting into the couch. And as a pot smoker I'm not deterred, I'm like "How do I get some of that weed." That is some amazing s*it that I would like to try. I've been smoking the "Can't find my keys" weed. And somewhere in the world there is some "Melting...
    PotPrincess PotPrincess
    18-21, F
    Nov 16, 2013

    Favorite Part Of A Woman...

    Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's t*ts best, " the first guy says. The second says "I like to look at a woman's a*s." He asks the third guy "What about you?". "Me? I prefer to see the top of her head."
    PotPrincess PotPrincess
    18-21, F
    Nov 10, 2013

    The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven.

    St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up. St Peter says "I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn't cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you have always wanted." Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice...
    zydeko zydeko
    Jun 22, 2015

    Sportsman's Double

    As told to me by my male friend: I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found  myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a bit, and we...
    lydialondon lydialondon
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Aug 25, 2008

    Seeing As No One Else Has.

    i though as no one else has added any jokes i would add some, there not my own i got them off a site, but hay i though someone should at least post some for all those whanting some lol. i cant promise they will be good but at least i am trying lol. A blonde goes up to the...
    jossiemarie jossiemarie
    22-25, F
    5 Responses May 7, 2008

    Clown Joke

    So, two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says: "Does this taste funny to you?"
    JustSillyStuff JustSillyStuff
    46-50, T
    3 Responses Aug 25, 2008

    While the barber is lathering the man up

    for his shave, the man expresses to the barber how he has a hard time getting a close shave on his cheeks. The barber replies with a solution and pulls a small wooden ball out of this cabinet drawer. "Place the wooden ball between your cheek and gum on the right side and you...
    zydeko zydeko
    Jun 22, 2015

    Duck Family

    It was the beginning of autumn and the Duck family were standing around doing ducky things and there was a slight chill in the air. "My instincts tell me it's time to fly south for the winter." Announced Papa Duck Mama Duck lifts her head and checks the wind. "My instincts are...
    WebbWoman WebbWoman
    46-50, F
    Oct 15, 2012

    Hmmm... Clueless Farmer!

     it's not that good but i think its funny =) There was a man who wanted to become a farmer so he went and brought a few sheep. just before he left the market he asked how he would know if they were pregnant. The sales man replied "they may not eat much and they will...
    LunaWolff LunaWolff
    18-21, F
    Aug 9, 2009

    Lizard Birth

          This has probably been around before, but I had my laugh from it, how about you?   Lizard Birth If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will...
    talo talo
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Nov 23, 2008


    Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in...
    lydialondon lydialondon
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Aug 5, 2008

    There Not Very Smart.

    There   were   three   men   talking   about    their   wives. The   one  man   said  my   wife   is   so  dumb   she ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397
    46-50, F
    7 Responses May 7, 2008


    What do you call a pony with a sore throat....? A little hoarse (little horse)
    missmermaid missmermaid
    Dec 7, 2008

    Get Some Cascade!

    My favorite real life joke is that I was standing in my step-aunt's kitchen when she opened her silverware drawer and suddenly jumped back and screamed.  I knew it must have been a mouse, but I couldn't help but ask, "spots?"  That was one of the dirtiest...
    elbo821 elbo821
    Jun 10, 2008

    The City And The Country

    This is an Aussie joke, enjoy. A Queensland cow cockie was grazing his herd on the long acre of a remote pasture in outback Queensland when suddenly a brand-new and shining 4WD emerges from a dust cloud. The driver, a bloke in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Bolle sunglasses...
    arthurn arthurn
    26-30, M
    1 Response Feb 23, 2010

    A trucker came into a truck stop cafe

    and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of...
    zydeko zydeko
    Jun 22, 2015


    PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS: 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." 3. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 4. "This employee is really not so much...
    zydeko zydeko
    Jun 22, 2015
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