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I Want To Know Your Favourite ' South Park ' Quote

For the South Park enthusiasts who appreciate a little dry, dirty, and offensive humour...... 27 People

    Wendy.

    WENDY : Ms. Ellen, can I talk to you? MS. ELLEN : Of course, Wendy. WENDY : I couldn't help but notice you've taken a liking to my boyfriend Stan. MS. ELLEN : Well, I've taken a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and full of life... WENDY : Can I tell you...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 21, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : Mister! You gotta help me, I'm starving to death! WORKER : What are you doing out here, little boy? CARTMAN : I was with my class, and we got all lost in the rainforest and I need some food; I'm fading fast. WORKER : Lost in the rain forest? Oh my Lord! Where are all...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Kenny.

    [Kenny reappears after being dead for the whole sixth season] KENNY : Hey, guys what's going on? STAN : Oh, hey, Kenny. KYLE : Hey, dude, where have you been? KENNY : Over there. [points offscreen]
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 21, 2010

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    Chef.

    CHEF : Hello there, children. STAN : Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt? CHEF : Goodbye.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Kenny.

    [Tweek is worried about his family becoming poor] CARTMAN : You can always go on welfare. Just look at Kenny's family, they're perfectly happy being poor and they're on welfare. Right, Kenny? KENNY : **** you! CARTMAN : Heh-heh, you suck, Kenny.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : I'm not fat. I have a different life choice.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 18, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : If dolphins are so smart, why do they get caught in those fishing nets all the time?
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 18, 2010

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    darkangellights darkangellights 18-21, F Mar 15, 2012

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    "Cartman you are such a big fat ***

    that people walk by and say 'GOD DAMMIT THATS A BIG FAT ***!'" -Kyle, the best joke in the history of TV
    catchphrasejones catchphrasejones 18-21, M Apr 8

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    Got To Love Them All

    Stan: You know, somebody once said, “Don’t try to be a great man, just be a man.”Jesus: Who said that?Stan: You did, Jesus.Jesus: You’re right, Stan. Thank you, boys!Kyle: Wow, did he say that in the Bible?Stan: Nah, I saw it on Star Trek.---------Cartman: "Screw you guys...
    jssp jssp 41-45, F Mar 19, 2013

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : I'm gonna be Jesus. KYLE : You're too fat to be Jesus. Stan should be Jesus. CARTMAN : Either I'm Jesus or screw you guys I'm going home. KYLE : All right, all right, you can be Jesus, you tubby cry baby. CARTMAN : Sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Kyle.

    CARTMAN : You seem a little irritable Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina? KYLE : There's no sand in my vagina!
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 21, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : Mr. Garrison, Stan's behavior is having an adverse effect on my education. STAN : Shut up, Cartman!
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    TP.

    TERRANCE : Scott really hates us, Phillip. PHILLIP : Yes, perhaps he's homophobic. TERRANCE : But we're not gay, Phillip. PHILLIP : We're not?
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Garrison.

    MR. GARRISON (responding to the M.A.C. initiative) : I don't know. Maybe they're all just on their periods or something. GREGORY : Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I believe that was a sexist statement. MR. GARRISON : Well I'm sorry Wendy, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 16, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : Look if you don't come and do this show, I'll make you eat your parents! PHILLIP : Yeah, whatever kid. STAN : He'll do it dude!
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : My mom says there's a lot of Black people in Africa.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 16, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : You guys are hella stupid. STAN : Why do you keep saying "hella" Cartman ? CARTMAN : Coz i'm hella cool, that's why.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 16, 2010

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    Here Y'all Go...

      THE BEST EVER!!!
    urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 18, 2010

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    Butters, We Heard A Rumor That You Might Have A Little Girlfriend? Sally Darson?

    "Aw hell Dad, I got lots of girlfriends. Sally's just my bottom *****."
    Shego Shego 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 17, 2010

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    Good Old Towlie =)

    I love the episode where they are trying to replace kenny as a friend (the one with Professor Chaos), and they are talking about Towlie Kyle says"Towelie is a tough choice because, even though I can see how always having a towel around can come in handy, he's just always...
    TheWanderingSupertramp TheWanderingSupertramp 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 17, 2010

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    Cartman.

    JIMMY : Hey, fellas, where's Cartman? STAN : Cartman isn't our friend anymore. KYLE : We're ignoring him. TOKEN : Ignoring him, how come? KYLE : Because he's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath. TOKEN : Oh yeah.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Token.

    MR. BLACK : All right, Token, we know you must be very confused about what you saw. RANDY MARSH : Yes, uh, you see, Token, that was called a pornographic film. It shows adult men and adult women having sexual intercourse. Well, you, you see, when a man and a woman fall in love...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Cartman.

    MR. GARRISON : Eric you're not half bi. CARTMAN : I'm like a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi. MR. GARRISON : WHAT?!?
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Garrison.

    MR. GARRISON : That means I'm not really a woman! I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis! DOCTOR : Basically, yes.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 21, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : For my book report I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was very, very good. Have you read it Mr. Garrison? MR. GARRISON : No I can't say that I have. CARTMAN : Oh good. In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, a bunch of, uh, hippies walk around and...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I love the Phantom of the Opera by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber :)
    musicdance814 musicdance814 13-15, F Mar 25

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    I'm probably a little old for South Park, and sometimes I'm ashamed to be watching it even when nobody else is around, however, what American cable news networks call news is...
    betweenthe10andthequeen betweenthe10andthequeen 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Oh my god, nothing can beat South Park. I have seasons 1-16 but more will be adding to it soon :D I think Kyle Broflovski is the best one out of South Park but Kenny and Stan are...
    Speedwaykatrina2 Speedwaykatrina2 16-17, F Apr 2

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    I was one of those kids in school who was like "oh my god did you see the new south park? Oh no? Oh your not allowed? Wow you must live in hell." My parents always used to let us...
    LandonS LandonS 16-17, M Mar 21

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    I can't help it! They are so wrong on so many levels, yet that's precisely the reason I think they're so damn funny. Even my uncle, who hates the show, had a blast with their World...
    Whoami30 Whoami30 26-30, M Apr 1

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    Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy Sugar We're Goin' Down - Fall Out Boy Bulletproof - Punk Goes Pop. Vol 3 - Family Force 5 Come...
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 16-17, F 1 hr ago

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    If anyone can guess what movie this quote comes from I will give you a heart:) quote is: "stay gold pony boy, stay gold"
    reidcm reidcm 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 10

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    My ex and I went to a water park along with a few family members. I was wearing some cute jean shorts (I don't do bathing suits) and we decided to get on a slide. Now this slide is...
    queediana82 queediana82 31-35, F Mar 24

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    I was trying to be cool!!!! First date: my car broke down so I was 30mins late Her dad made me explain why and what my plans were for his daughter I was sooo nervousness I farted...
    DrChante DrChante 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 2

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    "I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone. I long for a feeling to not feel at all. The higher I get, the lower I sink. I can't drown my demons they know how to swim." -Bring...
    Bmthsavedmylife Bmthsavedmylife 13-15, F Mar 26

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    Your EQ is 147.You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.You are warm and open. Even when life gets you down, you're...
    TheGreatLeveler TheGreatLeveler 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    NOORANI MYSTIQUE RING CALL +27824793207 This is the oldest, mystique and the most powerful magic rings ang gemstones. This power organized by the great powerful magicians(460-800B...
    profamisi profamisi 31-35, M Apr 8

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    Just imagine this situation and post your conclusions...thanks. A man and a woman are sharing a nice loving relationship here...
    SweetNancy SweetNancy 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    I know God allows bad things to happen to people for many reasons we don't understand.Sometimes God just wants to save us from ourselves. He may have to send someone home(heaven...
    Allthingschrist Allthingschrist 31-35 2 Responses Apr 13

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    Lol I was about 17 yrs old and had a cute yellow bikini,I dive into the swimming pool head first and my bikini bottom came off,ohhh my goodness I was frantically looking for it...
    dimples62 dimples62 51-55 10 Responses Mar 28

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    My 3 wishes are as follows 1) some big guy upstairs to show up, prove himself real, settle all religious debates, quash silly religions and hopefully fix global warming. 2...
    MimzyRose MimzyRose 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    I'm immature with knowing how to love a man who deserves my affection.
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    I wish I could know about my past life. I've always felt like there's been a piece of myself that's either missing or has been forgotten.
    KeithPrice94 KeithPrice94 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 31

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    This a emmbarresing sex story so bare with me. i was 19 and I had barely gotton married with my ex and we were into 4 months of marriage we were fooling around and he told me to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 5

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    Tell me feel free for it to be with anything I want to know what it is.
    Sealover22 Sealover22 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    (This was when I was about 21) My date came over to my house and I was planning to cook him a delicious romantic dinner. Everything was going fine until dessert, I made a nut cake...
    xobluebirdxo xobluebirdxo 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    Inception- Mal: I'll tell you a riddle. You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you; but you don't know for...
    GreenEyedFox GreenEyedFox 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    We where at the club and there was a life music and at some point a singer started to invite however would like to volunteer and sing along. I wanted to impress my date so I got up...
    lecosc lecosc 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    yeah sure would love to know that would be interesting to know what a dog i was lol
    romell romell 36-40, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Over-rated and unknown Nobody knows the true meaning of love. 12 yr old kids tell each other they love each other when they just met its hilarious!
    battl3cat battl3cat 13-15, T 3 days ago

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    I am the type of person to put my own problems aside to help someone else. This is simply because i feel as though using my experience and knowledge to help someone else happy or...
    robbie1280 robbie1280 18-21, M Apr 7

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    You work 14 hours and what do you get? You're parents sell you to Paris Hilton.
    mongo275 mongo275 22-25, M Mar 30

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