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I Want To Know Your Favourite ' South Park ' Quote

For the South Park enthusiasts who appreciate a little dry, dirty, and offensive humour...... 31 People

    "Cartman you are such a big fat ***

    that people walk by and say 'GOD DAMMIT THATS A BIG FAT ***!'" -Kyle, the best joke in the history of TV
    catchphrasejones catchphrasejones 18-21, M Apr 8, 2014

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : I'm not fat. I have a different life choice.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 18, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : My mom says there's a lot of Black people in Africa.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 16, 2010

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    darkangellights darkangellights 18-21, F Mar 15, 2012

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    Kyle.

    CARTMAN : You seem a little irritable Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina? KYLE : There's no sand in my vagina!
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 21, 2010

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    Butters, We Heard A Rumor That You Might Have A Little Girlfriend? Sally Darson?

    "Aw hell Dad, I got lots of girlfriends. Sally's just my bottom *****."
    Shego Shego 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 17, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : Mister! You gotta help me, I'm starving to death! WORKER : What are you doing out here, little boy? CARTMAN : I was with my class, and we got all lost in the rainforest and I need some food; I'm fading fast. WORKER : Lost in the rain forest? Oh my Lord! Where are all...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : If dolphins are so smart, why do they get caught in those fishing nets all the time?
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 18, 2010

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    Wendy.

    WENDY : Ms. Ellen, can I talk to you? MS. ELLEN : Of course, Wendy. WENDY : I couldn't help but notice you've taken a liking to my boyfriend Stan. MS. ELLEN : Well, I've taken a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and full of life... WENDY : Can I tell you...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 21, 2010

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    Garrison.

    MR. GARRISON : That means I'm not really a woman! I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis! DOCTOR : Basically, yes.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 21, 2010

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    Kenny.

    [Kenny reappears after being dead for the whole sixth season] KENNY : Hey, guys what's going on? STAN : Oh, hey, Kenny. KYLE : Hey, dude, where have you been? KENNY : Over there. [points offscreen]
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 21, 2010

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    Good Old Towlie =)

    I love the episode where they are trying to replace kenny as a friend (the one with Professor Chaos), and they are talking about Towlie Kyle says"Towelie is a tough choice because, even though I can see how always having a towel around can come in handy, he's just always...
    TheWanderingSupertramp TheWanderingSupertramp 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 17, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : For my book report I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was very, very good. Have you read it Mr. Garrison? MR. GARRISON : No I can't say that I have. CARTMAN : Oh good. In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, a bunch of, uh, hippies walk around and...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Andrew2233 Andrew2233 41-45, M Nov 30, 2014

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : Look if you don't come and do this show, I'll make you eat your parents! PHILLIP : Yeah, whatever kid. STAN : He'll do it dude!
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Cartman.

    MR. GARRISON : Eric you're not half bi. CARTMAN : I'm like a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi. MR. GARRISON : WHAT?!?
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : I'm gonna be Jesus. KYLE : You're too fat to be Jesus. Stan should be Jesus. CARTMAN : Either I'm Jesus or screw you guys I'm going home. KYLE : All right, all right, you can be Jesus, you tubby cry baby. CARTMAN : Sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 18, 2010

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    Here Y'all Go...

      THE BEST EVER!!!
    urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 18, 2010

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    Cartman.

    JIMMY : Hey, fellas, where's Cartman? STAN : Cartman isn't our friend anymore. KYLE : We're ignoring him. TOKEN : Ignoring him, how come? KYLE : Because he's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath. TOKEN : Oh yeah.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Garrison.

    MR. GARRISON (responding to the M.A.C. initiative) : I don't know. Maybe they're all just on their periods or something. GREGORY : Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I believe that was a sexist statement. MR. GARRISON : Well I'm sorry Wendy, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 16, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : Mr. Garrison, Stan's behavior is having an adverse effect on my education. STAN : Shut up, Cartman!
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Token.

    MR. BLACK : All right, Token, we know you must be very confused about what you saw. RANDY MARSH : Yes, uh, you see, Token, that was called a pornographic film. It shows adult men and adult women having sexual intercourse. Well, you, you see, when a man and a woman fall in love...
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Cartman.

    CARTMAN : You guys are hella stupid. STAN : Why do you keep saying "hella" Cartman ? CARTMAN : Coz i'm hella cool, that's why.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 16, 2010

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    Kenny.

    [Tweek is worried about his family becoming poor] CARTMAN : You can always go on welfare. Just look at Kenny's family, they're perfectly happy being poor and they're on welfare. Right, Kenny? KENNY : **** you! CARTMAN : Heh-heh, you suck, Kenny.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Got To Love Them All

    Stan: You know, somebody once said, “Don’t try to be a great man, just be a man.”Jesus: Who said that?Stan: You did, Jesus.Jesus: You’re right, Stan. Thank you, boys!Kyle: Wow, did he say that in the Bible?Stan: Nah, I saw it on Star Trek.---------Cartman: "Screw you guys...
    jssp jssp 41-45, F Mar 19, 2013

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    TP.

    TERRANCE : Scott really hates us, Phillip. PHILLIP : Yes, perhaps he's homophobic. TERRANCE : But we're not gay, Phillip. PHILLIP : We're not?
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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    Chef.

    CHEF : Hello there, children. STAN : Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt? CHEF : Goodbye.
    TheRealMimi TheRealMimi 31-35, F Mar 21, 2010

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