I Want to Leave My Husband Forum & Chat Board | How to tell him??
Post your thoughts on the forum topic, How to tell him??
 | Maya01 wrote on 10:58AM at Sep 28th, 2009 I have made the decision to leave. MY husband is not a bad person, but he has his moments. I am just not happy and really neither is he. We don't see eye to eye on many things. I have grown children from my first marriage and grandchildren. He and his late wife had no children. If anyone out there is in this situation, you will know right away what kind of problems arise from just that. He is a perfectionist and is with out a doubt the Most Negative Person that I have ever met!! His temper is bad..not hitting or anything like that. Unless you consider below the belt!! But the yelling is very stressfull and the not knowing what will it be next is also very stressful. Many things have happened as of late to just I guess put me over the top. Therefore, I have decided to leave. Whenever I think of living alone with my dogs and my cat, I get such a sense of peace, I cannot tell you. I know he will be devistated at first, but I think in time he too will have the same peace. I think myself and my family have brought him more stress than he can handle. I hope in time he sees that I did not enter this with this end in mind, but it just is what it is. And I am sorry.
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| makechanges wrote on 11:25AM at Dec 13th, 2009 When I read the part of your letter that referred to the "peace" that you feel when you think of living alone with your dog and your cat? I totally empathize with that! I am in a marriage right now that I need to get out of and that line in your story stood out the most to me! I think THAT is the most important aspect of your story....not why you need to leave, but that you see living on your own as peace. Best of luck with it! I hope we both find that peace! I prefer to think of freedom for myself rather than the end of a relationship.
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| lostlookingtobefound wrote on 03:12PM at Feb 2nd, 2010 Same feeling here. I have a young child in school, and the thought of raising a child alone is scary. However, it isn't as disenheartening as the thought of living with my husband any more. I am tired of his moods, his laziness, and his dependence on me. I am sick of him, and I just want to leave. I am working on it, and the only thing that keeps me going day in and day out is how peaceful our lives will be when we don't live with my husband and have to deal with him on a daily basis.
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 | bxb2309 wrote on 08:32PM at Jul 19th, 2010 OMG, I am in the same position. I have been married for 30 years to a once physically and verbally abusive man. I stuck it out because I was too scared of him to leave. I lost my self respect and my love for him in the process. Once the kids grew up and left to have their families I was left in a state of panic and depression. Although my husband has changed dramaticaly now I no longer feel anything for him other than sadness. I have recently met a wonderful man who truly loves me and who wants me to divorce and be with him in another state. I am ready to go, but I am scared to go. I am afraid of what my children will think, how they will feel, what my husband might do, yada, yada....What do I do????????
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| canadianskibunny wrote on 09:30AM at Nov 13th, 2011 Wow, bxb, i read your post and we are identical. 31 years for me, kids are grown, he was verbally and emotionally abusive for 25 years, Controlling, never letting me have friends, moved me out of the area, away from everyone we knew. Was jealous of everything I did without him. He robbed me of my self-confidence, my decision making ability, I didn't see what he had done to me. Then he got sick, I took care of him, and as he healed, (5 year process) I realized what he had done, I got stronger. I met someone, he is patient, kind, understanding, and he too wants me to start a new life with him. But how do I tell my husband? He uses guilt and manipulation to control me. I tried to leave a few months ago, and he just told me I was suffering from depression and needed psychiatric help. I bowed to his pressure and words and I'm still here, but I want to leave. I need to tell him, I don't want to just pack up and take my things and leave a note. After 31 years he deserves a conversation, or does he?? HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Seakwriter wrote on 12:05AM at Jan 10th, 2012 Hi, I'm reading this 18 months later. Can you update me on what you decided to do? Did you leave and find happiness with the other man? I'm in a very similar situation. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. He, too, was emotionally and verbally (not physically) abusive. For about the last 15 years of our marriage, I went through several emotional stages: hurt, fear, anger and now indifference. I have few feelings for him at all. And even though he's changed a lot in the last couple of years, I feel nothing for him. My heart is dead toward him. I want to move on: find a place by myself with my two dogs and eventually find someone else with whom I can fall in love. I'm only 47 and still have so many dreams and desires. I just don't want them to involve my husband. We currently sleep in separate rooms (my choice), but I want a more official, permanent separation from him. He's trying to be understanding, but now he's saying he'll "fight" for our marriage. I have NO desire to repair our relationship. I've already been to 4 or 5 therapists over the years, trying to work on things. I'm done. I SO want to move on. But I'm scared and feel a little like a selfish person. Our three kids, all in their early 20's, are supportive and have told me they'll understand and still love me if I leave. I want to do that very much. I want 2012 to be a year of new possibilities for me. Thanks for listening :)
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