Wow, bxb, i read your post and we are identical. 31 years for me, kids are grown, he was verbally and emotionally abusive for 25 years, Controlling, never letting me have friends, moved me out of the area, away from everyone we knew. Was jealous of everything I did without him. He robbed me of my self-confidence, my decision making ability, I didn't see what he had done to me. Then he got sick, I took care of him, and as he healed, (5 year process) I realized what he had done, I got stronger.
I met someone, he is patient, kind, understanding, and he too wants me to start a new life with him.
But how do I tell my husband? He uses guilt and manipulation to control me. I tried to leave a few months ago, and he just told me I was suffering from depression and needed psychiatric help. I bowed to his pressure and words and I'm still here, but I want to leave.
I need to tell him, I don't want to just pack up and take my things and leave a note. After 31 years he deserves a conversation, or does he??