I Want to Share One Liners and Quotes

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you. 379 People

    Our parents got divorced

    when we were kids and it was kind of cool. We got to go to divorce court with them. It was like a game show. My mom won the house and car. We're all excited. My dad got some luggage. -- Tom Arnold
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 30, 2014

    Wedding

    The next wedding I want to go to is my one not  some one else's wedding
    roastlamb roastlamb
    36-40, M
    1 Response Sep 27, 2013

    A Grain Of Salt

    I always take life with a grain of salt - plus a slice of lemon and a shot tequila.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jun 8, 2013
    Lilly97 Lilly97
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 29, 2014

    H€R€

    €V€RŸ DÖG HÅŠ ĮTŠ DÆŸ €V€RŸ MÄÑ HÎŚ ÇĀŁ£ĪÑG €V€RŸ PËRŠØŃ HĮŠ PÃTH.
    treegurl94 treegurl94
    18-21, F
    Nov 4, 2013

    Just because you are popular in school,

    doesn't mean you will be when you grow up.
    WonderinginWV WonderinginWV
    13-15, F
    1 Response Mar 26, 2014

    "There's nothing wrong with you.

    There's a lot wrong with the world you live in" "It makes you who you are. "Normal" people are sheep who follow the crowd and have no sense of individualism" -A good friend of mine
    Saudabell Saudabell
    16-17, F
    1 Response May 10, 2014

    Business One Liners

    Persons disagreeing with your facts are always emotional and employ faulty reasoning. Pessimists have already begun to worry about what is going to replace automation. Pick good people; talent never wears out. Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Dec 1, 2013

    "Come here. Sit down.

    Sit down immediately. Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness in the old." --Lady Bracknell from "The Importance of Being Earnest"
    genie101 genie101
    22-25, M
    Apr 29, 2015

    "Art is never finished,

    only abandoned.'' -Leonardo da Vinci
    genie101 genie101
    22-25, M
    Apr 29, 2015

    Don't Do It

    "Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    Dec 14, 2011

    I'm so ugly that when I walk into a bank,

    they turn OFF the cameras...
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Feb 24, 2014

    One of life's unpleasant truths - Doctors never

    need to take off from work to see us!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 6, 2015

    I was so surprised when I was born

    that I didn't speak for a year.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Mar 26, 2014

    Anger

    He who angers you, controls you.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    5 Responses Jan 3, 2011

    Pain In The...

    If 4 out of 5 people suffer from hemorrhoids... does that mean the 5th one enjoys it?
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses May 2, 2013

    Future!

    "You want to know something about the future? Every time you look at it, it changes and it's because you looked at it and that changes everything" -Nicolas Cage-
    AYearWithoutRain AYearWithoutRain
    22-25, M
    Sep 4, 2012

    On Forgiveness...

    He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
    georshar georshar
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Feb 2, 2009

    Sarcastic Quotes

    I am mostly positive nice person, but sometimes I am just want to explode of anger. And just communicate what I really think   #1: I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. #2: Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. #3: I like you...
    thewayIam thewayIam
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Sep 18, 2011

    "It is better to be looked over

    than overlooked." ~ Mae West
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

    I told my doctor I want to get a vasectomy.

    He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Dec 3, 2013

    " I met a woman who was will'in;

    now I'm us'n penicillin ! "
    PsychicOne PsychicOne
    51-55, M
    Jun 6, 2015

    Matured

    Wow you look good for your age. I know thanks just like a piece off cheese ive matured well
    roastlamb roastlamb
    36-40, M
    Sep 27, 2013
    Mindywrong Mindywrong
    22-25, F
    Oct 25, 2014

    I Was Such An Ugly Kid...

    When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    May 28, 2011

    The swinging doors of a wild west tavern burst

    open, the music and revelry stops. Standing in the doorway is a cat. He says "I want to know who shot my paw!"
    Ranger9876 Ranger9876
    51-55, M
    1 Response Apr 29, 2015

    You never truly know someone

    until you know how they fight! (Something my aunt sad to me after I ended a very unhealthy relationship)
    MsAnonymous1 MsAnonymous1
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 29, 2014

    I'm So Ugly...

    That the other night a mugger took off his mask and made ME wear it.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    4 Responses Mar 23, 2011

    Today I was assaulted by a guy with milk,

    cheese and butter I thought, how dairy
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 11, 2015

    Interested

    I read somewhere once that "It is the best compliment a person can receive to be called interesting. Anyone can be beautiful or talented but it take a special person to capture your attention, and keep it."
    emm96 emm96
    18-21, F
    Oct 21, 2013

    Politicians

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly - and for the same reason.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    Oct 22, 2011

    A dung beetle walks into a bar

    and asks, "Is this stool taken?"
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Feb 1, 2014
    adav218 adav218
    16-17, M
    Aug 22, 2014

    For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

    Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. [Al Quran 94:5-6]
    qiznea qiznea
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 30, 2015

    People.

    People come, people go-they'll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find...
    shamelesssummer shamelesssummer
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 1, 2011
    thegilgameshlore thegilgameshlore
    26-30, M
    Apr 30, 2015

    Wrap It Up

    Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Dec 22, 2011

    I'd like to start out with one of my favorite

    quotes attributed to Winston Churchill. Apparently, at a dinner, a lady was unimpressed with his manners and said "If I were married to you, I'd give you poison," Churchill is reported to have replied, "Madam, if I were married to you, I'd drink it!"
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 30, 2015
    holloway64 holloway64
    46-50, M
    Feb 13, 2014

    Doctor Visit

    A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    Jun 30, 2012

    Everyone is entitled to be stupid,

    but some abuse the privilege.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Mar 8, 2014

    Jealousy is like an ugly Christmas sweater!

    You can't get rid of it so you hide it in the back of your closet but everyone knows you have it!
    libragirl89 libragirl89
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Nov 30, 2014

    Boys And Men

    A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.
    redUmbrella redUmbrella
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Nov 7, 2011

    "The evil queens are the princesses

    that were never saved."
    laubrown1 laubrown1
    18-21, F
    May 10, 2014

    Truth.

    "We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness… We are monkeys with money and guns." -Tom Waits Isn't that true, of course, we have our news sources, but is what they...
    nilmortalibusarduiest nilmortalibusarduiest
    18-21, M
    Feb 14, 2013

    Reciprocate

    “Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” ~ Yogi Berra
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Aug 15, 2013

    Related Experiences

    This is something so painful that only people experiencing this will truly understand ... I'm from Australia , Sydney in particular I've known this guy since 15 mind you we fell...
    Lydiaaellise Lydiaaellise
    18-21, F
    Apr 21
    "As with any journey, who you travel with can be more important than your destination" ~unknown Thank you to all that have shared this leg of iife's journey. Its been a wild ride...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Apr 21
    The REAL Reason EP is Closing Down: Death of an Orphan There are multiple factors that have brought us to the point where EP is closing down. I think the most important factor is...
    conceptualclarity conceptualclarity
    51-55, M
    4 Responses Apr 21
    THIS POST IS YET AGAIN FOR THE TROLL AND HARASSER (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHO EVER ELSE WANTS TO KNOW WHO LOOK UP MY POSTS ) MAKING MY LAST DAY IN HERE A LIVING HELL ..AND I...
    LozzyFromRome LozzyFromRome
    46-50, M
    Apr 20
    This is my last. A full two days before I thought I'd be posting it. I thought it'd be a long, sappy ode to EP... But I don't think I can. I don't feel like I want to go back to...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 19
    Funny huh? I like reading quotes about love, but I have no clue what love even feels like. Let me guess, the inability to feel love counts as a disorder too? It wouldn't surprise...
    EridianaAndErin EridianaAndErin
    13-15, F
    Apr 17
    "Loving too hard is one of my biggest weaknesses. I find myself constantly putting in more than I ever get and probably ever will get. Heartbreak is my best friend, we go way back...
    ToughKitty ToughKitty
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 17
    I've put some thought into it, and I've decided that after EP closes, the only social media site I will be using is Instagram(ReflectionsOfSociety), I will be posting my poetry on...
    FeelingsOfTheEnd FeelingsOfTheEnd
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 17
    1. What is your name? You may call me by "Sydney". 2. How old are you? 13-15. Just to keep myself a little bit mysterious, you know? 3. Are you sure? ... I was a second ago!! D: 4...
    CherryJelly CherryJelly
    13-15, F
    Apr 16
    Ok... in all honesty the only way this would happen is if the following conditions are met: 1. I just ate all the other ones from the bag 2. Someone else is looking... (Heck they...
    cmyk323 cmyk323
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 16
    Well, I have returned. Why ? Because since I heard the news of EP shutting down I knew I have to come here one more time to take a stroll down the memory lane before it's too...
    PhoenixTearz PhoenixTearz
    31-35, M
    Apr 16
    I had an abortion no one knows about. I was about four and a half weeks when I found out. I was alone, terrified- and although I'm pro-life, I immediately felt the need to "take...
    Kabob91 Kabob91
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Apr 16
    Once upon a time an affluent farmer approached Buddha with great hope. He prostrated before the sage and sought his blessings. Buddha raised his hand in benediction. "O Venerable...
    DropsOfRain DropsOfRain
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 15
    "Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster. To me that was better than being President of the United States. To be a gangster was to own the world." Henry Hill/Ray...
    savoy2 savoy2
    46-50, M
    1 Response Apr 15
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