I Want to Share One Liners and Quotes

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you. 378 People

    Future!

    "You want to know something about the future? Every time you look at it, it changes and it's because you looked at it and that changes everything" -Nicolas Cage-
    AYearWithoutRain AYearWithoutRain
    22-25, M
    Sep 4, 2012

    Everyone is entitled to be stupid,

    but some abuse the privilege.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Mar 8, 2014

    Our parents got divorced

    when we were kids and it was kind of cool. We got to go to divorce court with them. It was like a game show. My mom won the house and car. We're all excited. My dad got some luggage. -- Tom Arnold
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 30, 2014

    On Forgiveness...

    He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
    georshar georshar
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Feb 2, 2009

    Truth.

    "We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness… We are monkeys with money and guns." -Tom Waits Isn't that true, of course, we have our news sources, but is what they...
    nilmortalibusarduiest nilmortalibusarduiest
    22-25, M
    Feb 14, 2013

    Anger

    He who angers you, controls you.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    5 Responses Jan 3, 2011

    I'm so ugly that when I walk into a bank,

    they turn OFF the cameras...
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Feb 24, 2014

    "The evil queens are the princesses

    that were never saved."
    laubrown1 laubrown1
    18-21, F
    May 10, 2014

    Reciprocate

    “Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” ~ Yogi Berra
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Aug 15, 2013

    Matured

    Wow you look good for your age. I know thanks just like a piece off cheese ive matured well
    roastlamb roastlamb
    36-40, M
    Sep 27, 2013

    " I met a woman who was will'in;

    now I'm us'n penicillin ! "
    PsychicOne PsychicOne
    56-60, M
    Jun 6, 2015

    Wedding

    The next wedding I want to go to is my one not  some one else's wedding
    roastlamb roastlamb
    36-40, M
    1 Response Sep 27, 2013

    Interested

    I read somewhere once that "It is the best compliment a person can receive to be called interesting. Anyone can be beautiful or talented but it take a special person to capture your attention, and keep it."
    emm96 emm96
    18-21, F
    Oct 21, 2013
    thegilgameshlore thegilgameshlore
    26-30, M
    Apr 30, 2015
    Mindywrong Mindywrong
    22-25, F
    Oct 25, 2014

    H€R€

    €V€RŸ DÖG HÅŠ ĮTŠ DÆŸ €V€RŸ MÄÑ HÎŚ ÇĀŁ£ĪÑG €V€RŸ PËRŠØŃ HĮŠ PÃTH.
    treegurl94 treegurl94
    18-21, F
    Nov 4, 2013

    "Come here. Sit down.

    Sit down immediately. Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness in the old." --Lady Bracknell from "The Importance of Being Earnest"
    genie101 genie101
    22-25, M
    Apr 29, 2015
    Lilly97 Lilly97
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 29, 2014

    Politicians

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly - and for the same reason.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    Oct 22, 2011

    For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

    Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. [Al Quran 94:5-6]
    qiznea qiznea
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 30, 2015

    Boys And Men

    A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.
    redUmbrella redUmbrella
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Nov 7, 2011

    Jealousy is like an ugly Christmas sweater!

    You can't get rid of it so you hide it in the back of your closet but everyone knows you have it!
    libragirl89 libragirl89
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Nov 30, 2014

    "There's nothing wrong with you.

    There's a lot wrong with the world you live in" "It makes you who you are. "Normal" people are sheep who follow the crowd and have no sense of individualism" -A good friend of mine
    Saudabell Saudabell
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 10, 2014

    A Grain Of Salt

    I always take life with a grain of salt - plus a slice of lemon and a shot tequila.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jun 8, 2013

    I told my doctor I want to get a vasectomy.

    He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Dec 3, 2013

    Just because you are popular in school,

    doesn't mean you will be when you grow up.
    WonderinginWV WonderinginWV
    13-15, F
    1 Response Mar 26, 2014
    holloway64 holloway64
    46-50, M
    Feb 13, 2014

    Today I was assaulted by a guy with milk,

    cheese and butter I thought, how dairy
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 11, 2015

    You never truly know someone

    until you know how they fight! (Something my aunt sad to me after I ended a very unhealthy relationship)
    MsAnonymous1 MsAnonymous1
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 29, 2014

    Sarcastic Quotes

    I am mostly positive nice person, but sometimes I am just want to explode of anger. And just communicate what I really think   #1: I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. #2: Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. #3: I like you...
    thewayIam thewayIam
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Sep 18, 2011

    I'd like to start out with one of my favorite

    quotes attributed to Winston Churchill. Apparently, at a dinner, a lady was unimpressed with his manners and said "If I were married to you, I'd give you poison," Churchill is reported to have replied, "Madam, if I were married to you, I'd drink it!"
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 30, 2015

    I was so surprised when I was born

    that I didn't speak for a year.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Mar 26, 2014

    Business One Liners

    Persons disagreeing with your facts are always emotional and employ faulty reasoning. Pessimists have already begun to worry about what is going to replace automation. Pick good people; talent never wears out. Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Dec 1, 2013

    Don't Do It

    "Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    Dec 14, 2011

    People.

    People come, people go-they'll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find...
    shamelesssummer shamelesssummer
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 1, 2011

    One of life's unpleasant truths - Doctors never

    need to take off from work to see us!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 6, 2015

    I Was Such An Ugly Kid...

    When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    May 28, 2011

    "Art is never finished,

    only abandoned.'' -Leonardo da Vinci
    genie101 genie101
    22-25, M
    Apr 29, 2015

    I'm So Ugly...

    That the other night a mugger took off his mask and made ME wear it.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    4 Responses Mar 23, 2011

    "It is better to be looked over

    than overlooked." ~ Mae West
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jul 14, 2014
    adav218 adav218
    16-17, M
    Aug 22, 2014

    Pain In The...

    If 4 out of 5 people suffer from hemorrhoids... does that mean the 5th one enjoys it?
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses May 2, 2013

    A dung beetle walks into a bar

    and asks, "Is this stool taken?"
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Feb 1, 2014

    The swinging doors of a wild west tavern burst

    open, the music and revelry stops. Standing in the doorway is a cat. He says "I want to know who shot my paw!"
    Ranger9876 Ranger9876
    51-55, M
    1 Response Apr 29, 2015

    Wrap It Up

    Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    1 Response Dec 22, 2011

    Doctor Visit

    A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”
    sciguy18 sciguy18
    56-60, M
    Jun 30, 2012
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