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I Want to Stop Hurting Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 59 People

    It's been over half a year

    since I cut myself for the first time. I got home from school and had been stressed and as they say "when it rains, it's pouring". I got inside my apartment and I suddenly felt... empty. Empty in a whole new way. I felt like I watching a movie inside my head. Like those hands...
    iSabishii iSabishii 18-21, F Mar 24

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    the urge is just too much a lot of times,

    my arms feel like they ache or feel sore even, each time i try and fight the urge it just gets worser than before it starts to feel like a pressure on my chest and then like If someone is trying to grasp many throat and choke me, i really want to stop it and soon, i'm really...
    Rememberme79 Rememberme79 13-15, M Mar 9

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    3 Months

    I used to cut myself and I've tried to drown myself before, i felt like giving up and i felt like a failure, and failing at suicide doesnt really boost my confidence, but i told a councilor at school. She got me help and i havent hurt myself in almost 3 months. It was a lot...
    childcalledit childcalledit 18-21, T 3 Responses Oct 7, 2009

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    This pain that I live with.

    It's not even the cuts. They don't hurt, but instead the urges do. The fact that I do cut hurts. I hate what I'm doing to myself. I want to never cut again, but how can you stop doing something you love? It's mentally draining. The billion times I worry about my scars or cuts...
    thoughtfulstars thoughtfulstars 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 10

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    Maybe One Day

    I'm hoping one day i wont hurt myself anymore. I keep a lot of my emotions inside which is y i think i hurt myself. I don't let it out that way so i gotta let it someway and i sometimes it feels good. If that makes any sense at all. But I'm hoping i can learn to express my...
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 21, 2010

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    Because I Forgot.

    I forgot just about everything that comes with hurting yourself. I forgot how easy it it to become addicted. I forgot how hard it is to constantly hide my scars. I forgot how much time it consumes. I forgot that it solves nothing. I forgot that it's an endless cycle of pain...
    Yoru Yoru 18-21 2 Responses Sep 24, 2011

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    I Am One of You

    I  am one of you ive starved myself becalse of being in so much mental pain ive taken winow glass and went down both sides of my legs bealse i was in so much pain i still do the hurting thing becalse i know how to hide what i do to my self but not as much now mine...
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F 4 Responses May 14, 2009

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    I lost my best friend

    and idk what to do! She was everything i needed. And now she's gone. Last night i cut myself because i know i probably wont get her back. I miss her so much...
    alexislucash alexislucash 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.

    I just keep hurting myself. I keep putting myself in positions where I get hurt. It's the only constant in my life right now. I hate this. I hate myself when I do this yet I still continue. When will I learn? When will I stop this cycle? I want to stop, I want what everyone else...
    QueenAwesomePants QueenAwesomePants 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    Related Experiences

    Why does everything always have to be so hard? But I guess that's life... I went from one addiction to the other. From self-harming to drugs and then back to self-harming myself...
    MonjaVictor MonjaVictor 16-17, F Apr 1

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    Any one has a razor .i really need to cut myself and see my blood . I am sick of always hurting myself from inside if I can't stop myself from inside I will do it on the outside.
    Lonelyvamp2 Lonelyvamp2 13-15, F Apr 4

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    Here the past few days I've been dealing with a lot of insecurity and self esteem. I was talking with my best friend today and I think I have a really good idea of what I would...
    needinganescape needinganescape 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 1

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    I hate myself, but cutting never even makes me feel better. I only want to do it more and harder once I start. It never satisfies me. I hate myself so much and nothing helps. I...
    mysteryhatcat mysteryhatcat 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    So I'm going on holiday in 11 weeks to somewhere extremely hot and I will have to wear a bikini and stuff and I really want to be skinny(flat stomach, smaller thighs etc) I keep...
    wonderwallgirl wonderwallgirl 13-15, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    I want to soak myself in a bathtub of champagne
    ILoveBearGryllz55 ILoveBearGryllz55 16-17, F Apr 8

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    I have been with my significant other for 4 years now. We have a 2 year old son. I am starting to see now how we have nothing in common. Our way of thinking is totally different...
    Nessa612 Nessa612 26-30, F Apr 11

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    It's a horrible addiction, it still trembles beneath my smile. I make my boyfriend very happy but the minute we fight, I want to take it out on myself because I feel like the pain...
    keikosky keikosky 18-21, F 5 hrs ago

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    I'm constantly hurting emotionally... I used to self harm.. it helped deal with all the problems for a while.. for a while, I was in control of my problems.. no one could hurt me...
    ForeverSilenced1126 ForeverSilenced1126 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    I keep going back to the same girl. Each time she builds me up. Tells me everything i want to hear. Then she leaves me. She has done this so many times. Everyone i know tells me...
    BiO811HazarD BiO811HazarD 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I was cut-free for about 4 months, but today I cut again. I am dealing with relationship problems. I love my boyfriend, he loves me, but because he is under his parent's rules, he...
    likeyouknowme likeyouknowme 18-21, F Mar 30

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    Literally anywhere would work right now...so much hurt...I just want to feel better. If only I brought my blade with me today...
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 16-17, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    It's my number one addiction and I can't help but always say yes to it. Cutting is my only relief but I cut all over my body so much that I have to dress like it's winter all the...
    bulimicbixtch49 bulimicbixtch49 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    I've been cutting since 3rd grade. Stopped for a year here and there but it kind of controls your life and comes back each time. Wish I didn't have the urge to do so but it helps...
    Rebecca12K Rebecca12K 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    ........Why....is this the only way to stop the pain?.....
    BlackRosesTurnBlue BlackRosesTurnBlue 18-21, F 6 Responses a week ago

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    I hate having to wear long sleeves. I hate not being able to wear shorts. I hate all of it. But as much as I hate it, I won't stop.. I can't.
    theoutcast66 theoutcast66 13-15, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Hey. This is my first story on EP, so I'd like to tell about myself. Ok, so, who am I? Here, just call me samoralsophy. I believe in God and consider myself a Christian, but I do...
    samoralsophy samoralsophy 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    I haven't done it for a month and a half but I'm slowly losing my grip and I just really don't want to add to this awful mosaic of scars but I feel like I need it to think clearly...
    fanatic458 fanatic458 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I don't want to have to change myself to get a man to like me. Usually I do have to though. I have to pretend not to like something, or pretend to like what they like. Or else they...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I'm a strong person and my capacity for emotional pain is high... but these last 4 months have been incredibly rough. A new wave hits when I'm not even ready to recover or regain...
    rinavi rinavi 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 13

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    Not literally, but if I'm on my death bed I will put myself in a food coma with whatever I can afford. 3 months to live? You bet I want second breakfast.
    Twichl Twichl 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I do not love myself which in turn makes it hard for me to love or show affection towards other people.
    MissMisunderstood1 MissMisunderstood1 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    I threw my blades away a few days ago but I feel so alone right now. I feel sick that I personify them, like they are my friends, but now I've lost them and I don't know what to do...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 30

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    I have bean bully so many time I have cut myself so may times I have bean hurt so many times
    Nyamal Nyamal 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    Honestly I just cut myself because I had a fight and It just makes me made when people say stuff about it behind my back!!
    Caityabraham Caityabraham 18-21, F Apr 9

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    Trying to figure myself out and who I am. Honestly idk who I am anymore.
    briiiBriii93 briiiBriii93 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    20th day clean today, it's amazing but right know there's nothing else I want to do. I try to keep myself busy, but I don't think I can handle it tonight
    wxnbz4713 wxnbz4713 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    If being myself isn't enough then what is?!?! I'm not gonna act fake just to get somebody to like me, I don't need a lot of friends, I could care less if someone doesn't like me. I...
    16countrygirl 16countrygirl 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    I just wanna freakin cut myself
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 18-21, F 13 Responses a week ago

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    I really wish i could talk to my bf and really say how i feel but he dont like talking so now when i need to talk i just keep it to myself becuase he will not want to talk.
    lizzy1015 lizzy1015 18-21, F a week ago

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    I've been clean for 6 weeks now, but I just can't fight with myself anymore. I don't want to throw away all the effort i've done to stay clean but its really hard to control my...
    JuanseVergel JuanseVergel 13-15, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I want to change si badly. Many people have hated me because of my lazy personality and unacceptable attitude. I want to be different, I want to give my best to be that person, I...
    SecretsNeverHidden SecretsNeverHidden 22-25, F Mar 28

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    Im f*cking tired of as**oles with no emotional skills about love blaming on me their bulls*it. I know how to love,how to give my all and the best of me,what love means and how to...
    4biandu 4biandu 26-30, F Apr 9

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    I'm in love with him. I want to be with him so badly... I want to do other things as well.... I would love to just travel the world and do anything and everything. But, I am...
    Cagedbird2 Cagedbird2 16-17 Mar 25

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    ......I am... I don't know.... I can't.... I have to, I'm going to, I...I can't focus, I want to write, to explain but I don't have any words, I just can't... ....I have to resist...
    BlackRosesTurnBlue BlackRosesTurnBlue 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 28

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    I just wanna be me and only me. Not what you want me to be. I was born me not you.. I'm never going to be what you try to make me...
    xxNoexcuseformexx xxNoexcuseformexx 13-15, F Apr 5

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    Please . . . Leave me alone . . . Have you not tormented me enough? Please, please, I'm begging you . . . Go away . . . Leave before I become angry. I don't want to hurt you...
    ForeverFable13 ForeverFable13 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    I want to dye my hair, and lose weight and become a better person. I've been this same boring person for about 2 years. Let's make some new changes! Maybe I can convince my mom to...
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    I really do. I'm only like 2 or 3 days clean, but I'm just losing hope. I know you don't want me to cut, Spencer, but like I told him, I can't promise anything right now.
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 15

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    Living a life for Christ can be very challenging at times as it sometimes feel like the more that I more the more my prayers se to be denied? I am at a crossroad right now of...
    bubblysunshine bubblysunshine 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    I'm just sitting here right now looking for a reason not to cut. I can't find one. I want to feel good. I want to cut.
    jasonpw jasonpw 16-17, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I want to so bad and I don't know if I can fight the urge...
    Sammi72 Sammi72 13-15, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I feel like relapsing again. And it sucks. I'm not sure what to do.