Its like no matter how much treatment or care I am under.......I still think about suicide. I want it out of my head. Its like life keeps beating me down and the thought is always in the back on my mind. The meds that I am on do help.....but sometimes....I dont know what to say.
There some time I just wanted to suicide .
But really in side .
It is not that I wanted to kill my self .
It is the pain I wanted to go away.
The feelings that I have in my stomack.
And the hurt in side.
I just don't wanted to live with the pain.
In some time .
I've noticed lately, especially when I get depressed, that I end up thinking about suicide. It seems to be a little bit more on my mind either when I'm fighting with my girlfriend, or with my mom. I feel like I can't take the pressure and nagging from them, and I think instead of...
I think about killing myself, and even try to act it out. Imagine what it will feel like.
I keep a very sharp knife next to my computer, and was just acting out slashing my wrists. It was an action that was almost totally out of my control.
Earlier today, I admitted...
I wish the thougths would just go the hell away and leave me alone. I feel so ****** up when I am thinking about suicide. I know its part of the bipolar disorder and the depression, and it is a side effect to the anti-depressant I am on. Weird enough, something that is suppose to...
but I find the idea, the planning of how I might do it cheers me up immensely, especially if I can't sleep and my husband, the dogs are snoring a way.
I was diagnosed Bipolar I this summer. Had a bad reaction to Lithium, it culminated in a suicide attempt, 20...