A: I kneed you.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A: a yardvark!
Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
on New Years Day?
Turns over a new leaf!
What is the definition of a caterpillar?
A worm in a fur coat!
What has stripes and pulls a tractor?
A caterpillar tractor!
What does a cat go to sleep on?
They both have good constitutions!
What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
What's big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
What was General Washington's...
when a large insect flew into the room. The Sixth Graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no longer. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to...
catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two...
Because there is lots of school spirit!
A demon joke
What do foreign devils speak?
A ghost joke
What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres?
A skeleton joke
What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks?
They had a...
for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"
"274" was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday" replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay...
of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures.
The Spirit of '76!
Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
What would you get if you crossed a patriot
with a small curly...
an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and...