Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Want to Tell You a Silly Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 200 People

    Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on

    an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and...
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 4 Responses Dec 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to

    catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Aug 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do a tree

    and a dog have in common? A: Bark
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 27, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: How do you count cows?

    A: With a cowculator.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 6 Responses Jan 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q. What did the police officer say to the

    midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jul 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: When a knight in armour was killed in

    battle, what sign did they put on his grave? A: Rust in peace!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 30, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why are baseball players

    so cool? A: They always have their fans around.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Mar 1, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What ghost haunted King George III?

    The Spirit of '76! Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army? He was a Yankee doodler! Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry! What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly...
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bathtime for Criminal Q: Why'd the robber take

    a bath A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Nov 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What is it that

    even the most careful person overlooks? A: His nose!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 19, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Joke credit - Amelia age 5 Q How do you make

    a tissue dance? A You put a little BOOGEY in it. ... still makes me laugh! :)
    easypeasey easypeasey 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Aug 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What kind of horses go out

    after dusk? A: Nightmares!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 9, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jun 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One of my customers told me this the other night

    and it had me laughing my arse off. "What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? - 'Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary *******!'" Pretty sure I died when I heard it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 9, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the

    softball team? A: Because she ran away from the ball.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Aug 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did the barber win the race?

    A: Because he took a short cut.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Feb 28, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    what does a pirate say

    when he turns eighty? Ay matey!
    Bethy1234321 Bethy1234321 16-17, F Jun 29, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why are E.T.'s eyes

    so big? A: He saw the phone bill.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Feb 9, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the Cat say

    after eating two robins lying in the sun? A: I just love baskin' robbins.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Sep 17, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one

    of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The...
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Sep 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: What’s the outside layer of a tree

    called, Tommy? Tommy: Don’t Know. Teacher: Bark, Tommy. Tommy: Woof, Woof.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Mar 4, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do you call four bullfighters

    standing in quicksand? A: Quattro Sinko
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 28, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why do farmers put bells on cows?

    A: Their horns don't work.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 4 Responses Aug 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did the taxi driver give up his job?

    A: Because people kept talking behind his back.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jul 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Feb 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do you get if you divide the

    circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? A: Pi a la Mode.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jul 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Blind Dinosaur Q: What do you call a blind

    dinosaur? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 22, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What does a clock do

    when it's hungry? A: Goes back 4 seconds!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Aug 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Caterpillar jokes What does a caterpillar do

    on New Years Day? Turns over a new leaf! What is the definition of a caterpillar? A worm in a fur coat! What has stripes and pulls a tractor? A caterpillar tractor! What does a cat go to sleep on? A caterpillow!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Mar 17, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the windmill say

    when she met her favorite movie star? A: "Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FAN!" k
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Aug 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 24, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A family of three tomatoes were walking

    downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jul 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: if you had one dollar

    and asked your father for one more dollar, how much would you have in total? Student: One dollar. Teacher: You don't know your maths. Student: You don't know my dad!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jul 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A: What is the noisiest game?

    Q: Squash - because you can't play it without raising a racquet!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two peanuts walk into a bar.

    ... One was a salted. LOL
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 27, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How is a healthy person like the United States?

    They both have good constitutions! What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold! What's big, cracked, and carries your luggage? The Liberty Bellhop! What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liberty! What was General Washington's...
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the

    slacker tomato? A: "You better ketch-up.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Dec 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Caskets Q: What did one casket say to the

    sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Aug 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Where do fish wash?

    A: In a river basin!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jun 28, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Halloween joke Why are teachers happy at

    Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit! A demon joke What do foreign devils speak? Devil Dutch! A ghost joke What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? Surgical spirits! A skeleton joke What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks? They had a...
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jan 12, 2015