Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Want to Tell You a Silly Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 192 People

    How is a healthy person like the United States?

    They both have good constitutions! What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold! What's big, cracked, and carries your luggage? The Liberty Bellhop! What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liberty! What was General Washington's...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Caskets Q: What did one casket say to the

    sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mickey and Donald in a Foxhole Q: Why did

    Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two peanuts walk into a bar.

    ... One was a salted. LOL
    EYESONLYFORU EYESONLYFORU 41-45, F Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the Cat say

    after eating two robins lying in the sun? A: I just love baskin' robbins.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 17, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A family of three tomatoes were walking

    downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one

    of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A: What is the noisiest game?

    Q: Squash - because you can't play it without raising a racquet!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Halloween joke Why are teachers happy at

    Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit! A demon joke What do foreign devils speak? Devil Dutch! A ghost joke What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? Surgical spirits! A skeleton joke What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks? They had a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What ghost haunted King George III?

    The Spirit of '76! Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army? He was a Yankee doodler! Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry! What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do you call people

    who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on

    an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Dec 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Blind Dinosaur Q: What do you call a blind

    dinosaur? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did the barber win the race?

    A: Because he took a short cut.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Feb 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the

    slacker tomato? A: "You better ketch-up.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Caterpillar jokes What does a caterpillar do

    on New Years Day? Turns over a new leaf! What is the definition of a caterpillar? A worm in a fur coat! What has stripes and pulls a tractor? A caterpillar tractor! What does a cat go to sleep on? A caterpillow!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A: Where do sick horses go?

    A: The horsepital
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why are baseball players

    so cool? A: They always have their fans around.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do a tree

    and a dog have in common? A: Bark
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    what does a pirate say

    when he turns eighty? Ay matey!
    Bethy1234321 Bethy1234321 16-17, F Jun 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the

    softball team? A: Because she ran away from the ball.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Where do fish wash?

    A: In a river basin!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bathtime for Criminal Q: Why'd the robber take

    a bath A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q. What did the police officer say to the

    midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jul 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: What’s the outside layer of a tree

    called, Tommy? Tommy: Don’t Know. Teacher: Bark, Tommy. Tommy: Woof, Woof.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What does a blonde do

    when someone says its chilli outside? A: She grabs a bowl.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did the T-rex go to the doctor?

    A: Because he had a Dino-sore!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Apr 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Three old men are at the doctor

    for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply. The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday" replies the second man. The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The summer band class was just getting under way

    when a large insect flew into the room. The Sixth Graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no longer. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What is it that

    even the most careful person overlooks? A: His nose!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: if you had one dollar

    and asked your father for one more dollar, how much would you have in total? Student: One dollar. Teacher: You don't know your maths. Student: You don't know my dad!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What is a dogs favorite food?

    A: Anything that is on your plate.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 31

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the windmill say

    when she met her favorite movie star? A: "Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FAN!" k
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Sep 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to

    catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: How do you count cows?

    A: With a cowculator.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Jan 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do you call four bullfighters

    standing in quicksand? A: Quattro Sinko
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 28

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 23, 2014