Post

I Want to Tell You a Silly Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 77 People

    What's brown and sticky?

    ..........A stick!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 4 Responses Jul 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Energizer Bunny Got Arrested

    And was charged with battery.
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 20, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Higgs boson goes into a church

    and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs bosons here." So the Higgs boson says, "But without me there is no mass."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile

    of snow. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 17

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot",

    I said "I'll take that as a condiment".
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mickey and Donald in a Foxhole Q: Why did

    Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: if you had one dollar

    and asked your father for one more dollar, how much would you have in total? Student: One dollar. Teacher: You don't know your maths. Student: You don't know my dad!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

    A: To get to the other tide!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the femur say to the patella?

    A: I kneed you. Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed. Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A: a yardvark! Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q. What did the police officer say to the

    midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jul 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What are prehistoric monsters called

    when they sleep? A dinosnore! What is the fruitiest lesson? History, because it's full of dates!
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do get if you mix a key with a lime

    and multiply it by 22/7? A: A close approximation for Key Lime Pi!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What's the first bet

    that most people make in their lives? A: The Alpha bet
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

    Unique Up On It. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Broken Cage Q: What did the bird say

    after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What is blue and goes ding dong?

    A: An Avon lady at the North Pole!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    EmmaBirchall EmmaBirchall 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A family of three tomatoes were walking

    downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: what's orange, hairy,

    has 800 teeth and 4 tails? A: Nothing
    samgrahamynwa samgrahamynwa 13-15, M 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did the taxi driver give up his job?

    A: Because people kept talking behind his back.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Take Anything You Want

    An IT student is walking along with his bike when another IT student walks up to him and goes “Nice bike. Where did you get it?” The first student says, “The other day, this beautiful woman ran up to me with this bike, threw it on the ground, ripped off all her clothes...
    morganonnet2 morganonnet2 51-55, M Jul 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How is a healthy person like the United States?

    They both have good constitutions! What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold! What's big, cracked, and carries your luggage? The Liberty Bellhop! What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liberty! What was General Washington's...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Question: What do you get

    when you cross a computer with an elephant? Answer: A 1000 lb know-it-all.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 18

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why can't you here a Pterodactyl's pee?

    Because they have a silent 'P'
    EmmaBirchall EmmaBirchall 13-15, F Jul 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Do You Call....

    What do you call an elephant in the refrigerator?...............Stuck!
    Plaid Plaid 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What ghost haunted King George III?

    The Spirit of '76! Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army? He was a Yankee doodler! Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry! What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Silly Joke

    A guy was at the doctors and the doctor told him he had a tape worm. Then the doctor told him don’t eat breakfast tomorrow and come to my office at 8:00 am with 3 cheese sandwiches, 2 chocolate covered cherries and a hammer. The next day at 8:00 am the doctor told the guy...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 1 Response Aug 16, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two birds were sitting on a branch,

    and one said to the other, "Do you smell perch?"
    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do you get if you divide the

    circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? A: Pi a la Mode.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I grew-up in west Hollywood, ca.... I started bouncin'.. at 18 yrs. old'.... I had a real ID'..... I loved it, I did it 4'.... 25 yrs.'..... I got 2' hang out w/hott' "rock star's...
    blackielee blackielee 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am quite offended. One thing I hate about this site is when you become honest to people and show your true self and then you have nice conversations for long periods of time...
    Renshiin Renshiin 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have had stalkers and of one I will tell you about. She never makes me angry or sad. She never makes me scream even though she's bad. She's faithful in her quest, this much is...
    blossomingbeauti blossomingbeauti 36-40, F Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    i'm writing this story for people to read and learn about something that so many ask about and rather then repeatedly writing about the same thing I'm going to put it all here I'm...
    tom67890 tom67890 46-50, M 2 Responses Jul 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It was during my School's Dance. 🎉My BFF, Haley and I were at my🏡getting dressed and ready. I told her about how I would reveal my feelings to my crush, Justin, that night...
    BossiRossi BossiRossi 16-17, F Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I would tell you how your eyes could light the darkest of alleys, how your voice echoes in my hears and bounces off the corners of my mind long after you're gone. How each word...
    terribletaytor terribletaytor 18-21, F Jul 17

    Your Response

    Cancel
    PLEASE LET ME TELL YOU YOU ARE WORTH IT Let me tell you are worth it through the heartache and the pain through the storms of life through the heat and the cold through the...
    imgreywlf imgreywlf 56-60, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    PLEASE LET ME TELL YOU YOU ARE WORTH IT Let me tell you are worth it through the heartache and the pain through the storms of life through the heat and the cold through the...
    imgreywlf imgreywlf 56-60, M 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I so wanna tell you that I love you madly, before you go and get in touch with that girl you are thinking of settling down with. The thought of you being with another girl crushes...
    EternalWanderer EternalWanderer 31-35 Jul 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    So I'm only telling you apart of what I'm doing. For 2 weeks I'm going to NJ to visit my family which I am sooo excited for! That's where I'm from and i love it there, I'm going to...
    klm15 klm15 13-15, F 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I wish so much I could tell you how i feel. how I love being with you. How I love how you touch me, how you look at me. how you sneak in a feel when you slide into the booth at...
    RideTheTiger RideTheTiger 36-40, F 23 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    That's something I don't really do in real life. I'm really quiet and I keep to myself. Most people who consider themselves close to me couldn't tell you what I really think about...
    fairytalesandspiderwebs fairytalesandspiderwebs 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Only if you ask or if I feel the need to give it. I have friends that tend to do the wrong things in life so if I feel the need to give it in fear that you are screwing up, I will...
    TimeTwoBeMe TimeTwoBeMe 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hi my name is Violin Chandika. I'll tell you 10 things abt me. Here we go ;) 1. I'm so HOT - I make fire! 2. I have a disease called AWESOME. Kiss me I'm contagious! 3. I don't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    1. I am 21 2. I am in love with a wonderful man 3. We have two cats! 4. Did I tell you I love cats? 5. I work with the elderly at a nursing home 6. I have had bulimia for two and a...
    Pixie00 Pixie00 18-21, F 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel