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I Want to Tell You a Silly Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 120 People

    Caskets Q: What did one casket say to the

    sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 3

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    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Jul 31

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    What would you get if you crossed a monster

    with the god of love? A stupid Cupid!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 3

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 20

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    Q. What did the police officer say to the

    midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jul 3

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    These Chickens Want Books A pair of chickens

    walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Old Man: "Are you the young fellow

    who sold me this tube yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?" Clerk: "Yes sir." Old Man: "Well, I tried for half an hour this morning and I couldn't get my teeth to stick in."
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    JNye8798 JNye8798 16-17, M Aug 3

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    Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?

    A: you give him ten-tickles
    Tabletroll Tabletroll 18-21, F Sep 1

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    Q: Why did the calf cross the road?

    A: To get to the udder side.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 19

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    Q: What did the Cat say

    after eating two robins lying in the sun? A: I just love baskin' robbins.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 46 mins ago

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 21

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    Q: What do you get if you divide the

    circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? A: Pi a la Mode.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 23

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    Q: Why did the taxi driver give up his job?

    A: Because people kept talking behind his back.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    Cat Jokes Q: What do you get

    if you cross a tiger with a sheep? A: A stripey sweater! Q: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? A: She's got that down in the mouth look! Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary? A: A peeping tom! Q: Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 8

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    Teacher: if you had one dollar

    and asked your father for one more dollar, how much would you have in total? Student: One dollar. Teacher: You don't know your maths. Student: You don't know my dad!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 7

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    Name three fruits that begin with the letter N ?

    A napple, a norange and a nanna!!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Jul 31

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    The businesswoman, in town

    for an important meeting, checked into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing that her best suit had been badly wrinkled during her flight, she telephoned the desk and asked the hotel's valet service to pick it up for pressing. Almost immediately after she...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Q: What do you get if you cross a plum with a

    man eating monster? A: A purple people eater.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 3

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

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    Q: Whats the difference between a broomstick

    and a pumpkin? A: Ever tried broomstick pie?
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 31

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    Question: What do you get

    when you cross a computer with an elephant? Answer: A 1000 lb know-it-all.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 18

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    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F Aug 22

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    Q: Why did the chicken run onto the football

    field? A: Because the umpire called a foul.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 2

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    Q: What does a clock do

    when it's hungry? A: Goes back 4 seconds!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 20

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    Watch For Fallen Rocks Driving down a remote

    road, a motorist sees a sign that says: "Watch For Fallen Rocks." A couple of miles of careful driving later, he spots some pebbles and stops to pick a few up. Arriving in the next town, the motorist carries the stones into the highway maintenance office. Placing them on the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 30

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 22

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    Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?

    A: To get to the body shop.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 22

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    Q: What did the windmill say

    when she met her favorite movie star? A: "Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FAN!" k
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 11

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    What are prehistoric monsters called

    when they sleep? A dinosnore! What is the fruitiest lesson? History, because it's full of dates!
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    How is a healthy person like the United States?

    They both have good constitutions! What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold! What's big, cracked, and carries your luggage? The Liberty Bellhop! What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liberty! What was General Washington's...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    A car is pulled over by the police late one

    night. The driver sits patiently as the two cops exit their car and make their way to the driver. The driver winds his window down and the cop says. "Good evening sir" "Good evening officer. How can I help you?" The cops. Two bad guys. Say they want the driver to step out of the...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Jul 31

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 26

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    Snake Bite I hope I'm not poisonous,

    says the first snake. "Why?" asks the second snake. "Because I just bit my lip."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 1

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    What ghost haunted King George III?

    The Spirit of '76! Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army? He was a Yankee doodler! Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry! What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    Q: What did the femur say to the patella?

    A: I kneed you. Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed. Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A: a yardvark! Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

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    A family of three tomatoes were walking

    downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 19

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    What did the worker at the rubber -band factory

    say when he lost his job-Ans.Oh snap.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 3

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    Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the

    softball team? A: Because she ran away from the ball.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 18

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    The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile

    of snow. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 17

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    What are prehistoric monsters called

    when they sleep?A dinosnore!What is the fruitiest lesson?History, because it's full of dates!
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Mickey and Donald in a Foxhole Q: Why did

    Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 18

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    Q: Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?

    A: Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 7

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    I Tell Youu "I Jstt Wantt Youu Too Bee Happyy" Btt Deep Insidee, In Myy Heartt. I Jstt Wantt Too Bee Yourr Happiness.
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I wanted to tell you a story of my life I have always want to be a wolf even hen I was little like 3, you can ask my mom .
    wolfgirl10860 wolfgirl10860 13-15, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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