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I Want to Tell You a Silly Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 109 People

    What ghost haunted King George III?

    The Spirit of '76! Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army? He was a Yankee doodler! Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry! What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    Q: What do you get if you cross a plum with a

    man eating monster? A: A purple people eater.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 3

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    Q: what's orange, hairy,

    has 800 teeth and 4 tails? A: Nothing
    samgrahamynwa samgrahamynwa 13-15, M Jul 21

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    The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile

    of snow. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 17

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    A car is pulled over by the police late one

    night. The driver sits patiently as the two cops exit their car and make their way to the driver. The driver winds his window down and the cop says. "Good evening sir" "Good evening officer. How can I help you?" The cops. Two bad guys. Say they want the driver to step out of the...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Jul 31

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 16

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    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F a week ago

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    How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

    Unique Up On It. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 21

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    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Jul 31

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    Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the

    softball team? A: Because she ran away from the ball.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 18

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    Q: What do you get if you divide the

    circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? A: Pi a la Mode.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 23

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    Q. What did the police officer say to the

    midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jul 3

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    What are prehistoric monsters called

    when they sleep? A dinosnore! What is the fruitiest lesson? History, because it's full of dates!
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 26

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    Name three fruits that begin with the letter N ?

    A napple, a norange and a nanna!!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Jul 31

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    Mickey and Donald in a Foxhole Q: Why did

    Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 18

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 31

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 31

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    How is a healthy person like the United States?

    They both have good constitutions! What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold! What's big, cracked, and carries your luggage? The Liberty Bellhop! What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liberty! What was General Washington's...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    Question: What do you get

    when you cross a computer with an elephant? Answer: A 1000 lb know-it-all.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 18

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    Q: Why did the taxi driver give up his job?

    A: Because people kept talking behind his back.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    Q: What did the windmill say

    when she met her favorite movie star? A: "Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FAN!" k
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 11

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    A family of three tomatoes were walking

    downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 19

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    Broken Cage Q: What did the bird say

    after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 27

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    A Higgs boson goes into a church

    and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs bosons here." So the Higgs boson says, "But without me there is no mass."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 29

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    What did the worker at the rubber -band factory

    say when he lost his job-Ans.Oh snap.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 3

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    What would you get if you crossed a monster

    with the god of love? A stupid Cupid!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 3

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    What did the depressed tree say?

    I feel hollow inside.
    MixedEmotions2000 MixedEmotions2000 13-15, M Aug 2

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    Q: What is blue and goes ding dong?

    A: An Avon lady at the North Pole!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 21

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    Q: What does a clock do

    when it's hungry? A: Goes back 4 seconds!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 20

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    Q: What do get if you mix a key with a lime

    and multiply it by 22/7? A: A close approximation for Key Lime Pi!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 23

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    Q: Why did the chicken run onto the football

    field? A: Because the umpire called a foul.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 2

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    Caskets Q: What did one casket say to the

    sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 3

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    Teacher: if you had one dollar

    and asked your father for one more dollar, how much would you have in total? Student: One dollar. Teacher: You don't know your maths. Student: You don't know my dad!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 7

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    JNye8798 JNye8798 16-17, M Aug 3

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    Two birds were sitting on a branch,

    and one said to the other, "Do you smell perch?"
    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 27

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 24

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    Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?

    A: To get to the body shop.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses a week ago

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 22

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    Q: What did the femur say to the patella?

    A: I kneed you. Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed. Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A: a yardvark! Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

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    if you ever need to know how to catch a polar bear just ask me i can tell you how
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