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I Want You to Explain How Santa Gets Down the Chimney

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 60 People

    Oh, Let Me...

    He doesn't use the chimney. He gets his big fat *** in through the door at three in the morning after being out at the liquor store all night, throws the presents at the tree, then goes and has sex with mommy and goes to bed.
    drcynic drcynic 26-30, M 11 Responses Feb 9, 2009

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    Oh! Er, Um.

    Eeeh.. I can explain! I can explain! Um, hehehe hee ^^', so, well.. sweetie, er, you see... uh... but OH! What do we have here? Pre-Christmas present? I wonder what's in it! I'll put it here on the sofa. *places* *runs*
    Bob57 Bob57 18-21, M Dec 1, 2008

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    It's All Theory!

     Santa is probably some type of being that exists displaced from time space. Since he isn't bound to our rules of linear movement through time he can simply just "be" in side of your home when he is making his deliveries. This would explain 1)Why he is old. 2...
    KIFACTOR KIFACTOR 18-21, M Dec 1, 2008

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    More Liquid Than Solid

    Given that when he laughs, Santa's belly wiggles like a bowl full of jelly, we can deduce that Santa is comprised of a gelatin-like matrix, and is actually more of a liquid than a solid with high surface tension. This enables Santa to flow down the chimney and re-establish his...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 12, 2013

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    :(

    Come on EP getrid of the winter and Christmas stuff PEASE
    mad316 mad316 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 7, 2012

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    Magic

    Santa uses magic dust to get down Chimneys and Santa is magic :) I am a child at heart and love all the anticipation :)
    jellybean113 jellybean113 41-45, F Dec 3, 2013

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    I Don't Have a Chimney!!!!!!!!!!

    How am I going to get my presents now?!
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 30, 2008

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    Tell That to a Child!

    If you were working as a Santa in a store and a child ask you the big question, how would you respond?  I think I might say magic dust..I like things that sparkle!
    wiseowl wiseowl 61-65, F 5 Responses Nov 29, 2008

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    Pure Magic...

    The magic of believing, is the magic of doing.  I never believed in Santa, but that one is easy.  Magic is the answer!  LOL.
    skinnybitch skinnybitch 26-30, F Feb 9, 2009

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    Santa

    Santa,I want to know,How he gets down the chimney,What happens,When there's no chimney,Even better still,What he does,When the chimney's collapsed!
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 2 Responses Nov 6, 2011

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    Actually

    Santa is a space alien who has access to a teleporter like Capt Picard used in star trek.  His is a portable one that fits on his sleigh.  I think its Rudolph who mans the controls and sends Santa into the house.  He doesn't actuall come down the chimney, he just...
    levin60kitty levin60kitty 61-65 3 Responses Dec 2, 2008

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    Santa Had An Incident

    Sometimes in the dead of winter, people ponder: Is there a 'Santa'? Where does he really live? How come the the Elves have not unionized? My grandpa told me a tale once. Many questions. None of them matter now... It was sometime in 1974, middle America. Santa had been hauling...
    EricS EricS 31-35, M 14 Responses Nov 30, 2008

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    I Dont Understand ....

    All mine are blocked in ... How does he get in ...??????
    expressomarkie expressomarkie 46-50, M Dec 3, 2013

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    A Myth!

    Santa doesn't use the Chimney!!! Some houses don't even have chimneys.... So, it's only plausible that Santa teleports into people's home. That's right! He has technology beyond our own! Whoo! XD Where do you think the idea teleportation came from, with Sci-fi...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 1, 2008

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    That's Easy It Is Magic

    That's easy it's magic. when i was a kid growing up we had only a mantle piece no chimney, yet Santa came down the Chimney every year like magic. In my Imagination I could always see him sliding down the chimney that would magically appear just for him so he could deliver the...
    missytiger missytiger 61-65, T Feb 27, 2012

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    On A Beam

    He uses star trek technology and is beamed down by Scottie.
    Rapolis Rapolis 66-70, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2011

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