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I Want Your Best Pick Up Line

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 80 People

    Im Sorry

    Hi. Im.... Im sorry... Im at a loss here, you're so beautiful I forgot my name...
    hotroddot39 hotroddot39 41-45, M Mar 2, 2011

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    Works Best While Intoxicated...

    "Those jeans look amazing on you... ... but they'd look even better on my bedroom floor." [[raises eyebrow]] Any takers?  
    OFFthecuff OFFthecuff 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 1, 2008

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    Best I Ever Heard

    A man catches up with a girl walking home in the rain, and says to her, "Tickle your *** with a feather", she says"What did you say". He says I said Particularly nasty weather.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 11, 2012

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    Fat Girl

    you dont sweat much for a fat girl
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 1 Response Dec 7, 2010

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    The First Time I Saw You

    From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 4, 2013

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    Good One

    hey there I like those pants. But, they wouldl look better hangin on my bedpost.
    Tx1978 Tx1978 36-40, M Nov 6, 2013

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    Family

    how would you like to be buried with my people
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 3 Responses Dec 7, 2010

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    Freeze

    Freeze   you  are  under  arrest   you  have  the  right  to  remain  sexy EVerything  you   say  can  and   will   be  held  against you. I  have ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 12 Responses May 9, 2008

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    Here's My Number

    "Here's my number...call me if you're brave enough".....It worked!
    peanutbrittle peanutbrittle 46-50, F 1 Response May 11, 2008

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    Here Is An Irish One...

    my sister says this was said to her as a marriage proposal  "How would you like to be buried with my people"
    maninamousesuit maninamousesuit 51-55, M 2 Responses May 10, 2008

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    Amazingly Bad

    Can I hang out with you until it's safe back where I farted? I'm not telling you this to impress you...but I am Batman Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
    Sweetroll88 Sweetroll88 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    Re: Pick Up Line

    "Hey baby. You are so fine. Wanna  a date?" "Damn. Momma. You are hot." "You are smoking hot." "You have some knockers." "Damn. You have a great ***." "I can make you world. Come to my house."    ...
    mother1983 mother1983 26-30, F 2 Responses May 10, 2008

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    Damn Girl!

    If I told you, you had the sexiest body i'd ever seen... Would you hold it against me???!   Orrr my personal favorite..   Mmmm girl... Are you Retarded??... Cause I think you are Sooo Special!   ...   ;P      
    Vox Vox 31-35, F 5 Responses May 10, 2008

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    'Bubba & Cooter's Book of Sure-fire Pick-up Lines'

    1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to check you out 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see...
    LostInTyme LostInTyme 61-65, M May 20, 2009

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    Wanted

    Attention: tall rich guy wanted.......please be an idiot who needs someone to write checks for you!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 3, 2013

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    Another Groaner

    Man- "Was your father a thief?" Woman- "No, why?" Man- "Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes."
    Bluegrass Bluegrass 46-50, F 13 Responses May 10, 2008

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    Old One

    Hi. How long have you had your pilots license for? Why? Because i figure you must have flown down from heaven because I don't see any signs of bruising.
    Brandie1960 Brandie1960 41-45, M 2 Responses May 10, 2008

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    You Don't Want to Get Electrocuted Do You?

    I could protect men during a rain storm with lightening by hiding their "rod" for them so they wouldn't get electrocuted. Of course I don't think I need to explain any further......
    cinfullynn cinfullynn 46-50, F 7 Responses May 9, 2008

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    Dancing

    are you dancing or holding down a floor board
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 7, 2010

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    Or Maybe Not....

    "Excuse me miss, but does this cloth smell like chloroform?"   Just kidding!  It was in the comics today - Argyle Sweater by Scot Hilburn
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

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    These Will Work Every Time. Not Really.

    Hey baby, I noticed you had a bra on. I'd like to stick my face in that. Hey there, if you can speak Parseltongue you can get in my chamber of secrets. Have you seen Aladdin? I sure do like sex. Please have sex with me. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I...
    InfamousKilljoyLorelei InfamousKilljoyLorelei 16-17, F Jul 3, 2013

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    Here's one from WKRP!

    "Hi. I'm extremely wealthy."
    notdarcy notdarcy 41-45, M 6 Responses Oct 10, 2008

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    Here You Go

    you walk over to her and ask "Hay you want to get a pizza and ****" and after she slaps you,  you say "ok we'll get subs instead"  
    loneranger loneranger 31-35, M May 10, 2008

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    Ummm...

    I don't have one...I usually just flirt! But I have heard a few really tired lines and I want to know which one's work for you guys!
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F May 9, 2008

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    I Don't Have Any

    But i've heard a few cheesey ones! One guy actually said "Get your coat love, you've pulled!" Sheesh! I politly told him that he hadn't
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 9, 2008

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    Here It Comes

    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    chaosXIII chaosXIII 22-25, M 2 Responses May 19, 2009

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    I Want to

    I want to **** you.Do you want to **** me? I've only used a pick up line once,we have been dating for two years so I guess it was worth it.
    Trikka Trikka 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 25, 2008

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    Any Irish In You

    have you any irish in you, do you want some.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 10, 2010

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    Nice Shirt

     "Wow, that shirt is really becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too" lmao
    Manders Manders 18-21, F 3 Responses May 9, 2008

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    Body

    If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Lyrics in a Country song.. but dang good line !!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 3, 2013

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    Hmmmm

    i don't really have any pickup lines but i was thinking i might try this. i go up to a lady in a bar and say "hi my name is Rick i have an incredibly small penis...can i buy you a drink?"
    ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick 46-50, M 20 Responses May 9, 2008

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    Game, Set, & Match.

    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Aug 31, 2008

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    Hay

    "want to get a pizza and ****" after she slaps you "ok we'll get subs"
    loneranger loneranger 31-35, M Apr 13, 2009

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    "My chick can have what she want. And go in any store for any bag she wants. I know you ain't never had a man like that. To buy you anything your heart desire like that. I want...
    LikeAPrayer LikeAPrayer 18-21, F Aug 27

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    I want a best friend who I can talk to. And be able to do whatever like be naked with each other and not make it awkward. Help each other, give advice. Be like brothers. Like talk...
    Estrong18 Estrong18 18-21, M Aug 17

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    I wrote this today, I just want your opinions and tips. Spending all your time daydreaming Wishing every second you were leaving To let lose and escape Come with me and forget...
    Kirerhor Kirerhor 18-21 Sep 8

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    Whenever you can't see the light, whenever there's no end in sight, keep on moving on. Don't stop dancing in the bleachers. It's gonna be your turn to play. Usually in life there...
    blossomingbeauti blossomingbeauti 36-40, F 4 hrs ago

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    I'm gonna show ya how to just do you: You wear the clothes. They don't wear you. Keep it real. Let yourself shine through. Gonna be the best me I can be. If they try to write your...
    blossomingbeauti blossomingbeauti 36-40, F Aug 18

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    Are you pregnant are your breasts just big naturally? You're the kind of woman who could stop me from lusting after 12 year old boys.
    Comicone999 Comicone999 41-45, M Aug 19

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    William162d6ol9 William162d6ol9 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 29

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    Laurenazrj90 Laurenazrj90 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 4

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    Andrew558n8la3 Andrew558n8la3 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 26

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    Devon1739q Devon1739q 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 22

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    Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a ******* dream I'm living in. Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio (how do you like me now?) Pick me up and take me like a vitamin...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 3

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    For as long as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster. To me that was better than being president of the United States. To be a gangster was to own the world. - goodfellas...
    petealoop petealoop 18-21, M Sep 7

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    Twas brillig and the slythy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. (Alice in Wonderland) Yours?
    AJEckle AJEckle 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 19

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    "If I could time travel, meet you in that place. Stop you on the corner, stare into your face. I'd shine your diamond rough, I'd help you through and I'd heal the broken child...
    Ski75 Ski75 36-40, M Aug 25

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    Just open your mouth and close your eyes-It's Raining Tacos
    LilHitler LilHitler 70+, M Sep 3

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    Crocodile Dundee "Mick,give him your wallet" "What for?" "Because he's got a knife" "That's not a knife, this is a knife."
    fgsZERO fgsZERO 26-30, M 5 days ago

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