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I Want Your Best Pick Up Line

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 82 People

    Best I Ever Heard

    A man catches up with a girl walking home in the rain, and says to her, "Tickle your *** with a feather", she says"What did you say". He says I said Particularly nasty weather.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 11, 2012

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    Amazingly Bad

    Can I hang out with you until it's safe back where I farted? I'm not telling you this to impress you...but I am Batman Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
    Sweetroll88 Sweetroll88 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    Or Maybe Not....

    "Excuse me miss, but does this cloth smell like chloroform?"   Just kidding!  It was in the comics today - Argyle Sweater by Scot Hilburn
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

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    Here's one from WKRP!

    "Hi. I'm extremely wealthy."
    notdarcy notdarcy 41-45, M 6 Responses Oct 10, 2008

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    Any Irish In You

    have you any irish in you, do you want some.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 10, 2010

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    Ummm...

    I don't have one...I usually just flirt! But I have heard a few really tired lines and I want to know which one's work for you guys!
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F May 9, 2008

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    Here Is An Irish One...

    my sister says this was said to her as a marriage proposal  "How would you like to be buried with my people"
    maninamousesuit maninamousesuit 51-55, M 2 Responses May 10, 2008

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    Body

    If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Lyrics in a Country song.. but dang good line !!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 3, 2013

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    Wanted

    Attention: tall rich guy wanted.......please be an idiot who needs someone to write checks for you!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 3, 2013

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    These Will Work Every Time. Not Really.

    Hey baby, I noticed you had a bra on. I'd like to stick my face in that. Hey there, if you can speak Parseltongue you can get in my chamber of secrets. Have you seen Aladdin? I sure do like sex. Please have sex with me. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I...
    InfamousKilljoyLorelei InfamousKilljoyLorelei 16-17, F Jul 3, 2013

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    Works Best While Intoxicated...

    "Those jeans look amazing on you... ... but they'd look even better on my bedroom floor." [[raises eyebrow]] Any takers?  
    OFFthecuff OFFthecuff 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 1, 2008

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    Damn Girl!

    If I told you, you had the sexiest body i'd ever seen... Would you hold it against me???!   Orrr my personal favorite..   Mmmm girl... Are you Retarded??... Cause I think you are Sooo Special!   ...   ;P      
    Vox Vox 26-30, F 5 Responses May 10, 2008

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    I Don't Have Any

    But i've heard a few cheesey ones! One guy actually said "Get your coat love, you've pulled!" Sheesh! I politly told him that he hadn't
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 9, 2008

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    Family

    how would you like to be buried with my people
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 3 Responses Dec 7, 2010

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    You Don't Want to Get Electrocuted Do You?

    I could protect men during a rain storm with lightening by hiding their "rod" for them so they wouldn't get electrocuted. Of course I don't think I need to explain any further......
    cinfullynn cinfullynn 46-50, F 7 Responses May 9, 2008

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    Hay

    "want to get a pizza and ****" after she slaps you "ok we'll get subs"
    loneranger loneranger 31-35, M Apr 13, 2009

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    Old One

    Hi. How long have you had your pilots license for? Why? Because i figure you must have flown down from heaven because I don't see any signs of bruising.
    Brandie1960 Brandie1960 41-45, M 2 Responses May 10, 2008

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    Dancing

    are you dancing or holding down a floor board
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 7, 2010

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    I Want to

    I want to **** you.Do you want to **** me? I've only used a pick up line once,we have been dating for two years so I guess it was worth it.
    Trikka Trikka 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 25, 2008

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    'Bubba & Cooter's Book of Sure-fire Pick-up Lines'

    1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to check you out 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see...
    LostInTyme LostInTyme 61-65, M May 20, 2009

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    Game, Set, & Match.

    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Aug 31, 2008

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    Here's My Number

    "Here's my number...call me if you're brave enough".....It worked!
    peanutbrittle peanutbrittle 46-50, F 1 Response May 11, 2008

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    Re: Pick Up Line

    "Hey baby. You are so fine. Wanna  a date?" "Damn. Momma. You are hot." "You are smoking hot." "You have some knockers." "Damn. You have a great ***." "I can make you world. Come to my house."    ...
    mother1983 mother1983 26-30, F 2 Responses May 10, 2008

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    Another Groaner

    Man- "Was your father a thief?" Woman- "No, why?" Man- "Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes."
    Bluegrass Bluegrass 46-50, F 13 Responses May 10, 2008

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    Here You Go

    you walk over to her and ask "Hay you want to get a pizza and ****" and after she slaps you,  you say "ok we'll get subs instead"  
    loneranger loneranger 31-35, M May 10, 2008

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    Freeze

    Freeze   you  are  under  arrest   you  have  the  right  to  remain  sexy EVerything  you   say  can  and   will   be  held  against you. I  have ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 12 Responses May 9, 2008

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    Here It Comes

    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    chaosXIII chaosXIII 22-25, M 2 Responses May 19, 2009

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    Hmmmm

    i don't really have any pickup lines but i was thinking i might try this. i go up to a lady in a bar and say "hi my name is Rick i have an incredibly small penis...can i buy you a drink?"
    ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick 46-50, M 20 Responses May 9, 2008

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    Fat Girl

    you dont sweat much for a fat girl
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 1 Response Dec 7, 2010

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    Nice Shirt

     "Wow, that shirt is really becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too" lmao
    Manders Manders 18-21, F 3 Responses May 9, 2008

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    The First Time I Saw You

    From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 4, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I want a best friend so bad. My last one screwed me over in the end and we was friends for eleven years. I miss having somebody to talk to about everything to, go out and have fun...
    XoAmber XoAmber 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I want a best friend that will be by my side 24/7. Who will always be there if you need help. Who I can act crazy around with. Who do everything together. Who doesn't care if I'm...
    Secretdiary92 Secretdiary92 18-21, F Apr 11

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    I want a best friend, a girl one to be honest.. I thought I had one but I was wrong. I just miss having a girl best friend. A best friend who accepts me just how I am, who doesn't...
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Well Not really I had an husband one time i got rid of him he was a cheater liar and dope head I also had a few boyfriends since then who were obsessive liars heavy...
    ifollowmyownstar ifollowmyownstar 31-35, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth And I've never opened up I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me And I believe that it's easier for you to let...
    stevenmonroe stevenmonroe 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    IM THE BEST!!! IN THE WORLD!!! No way near for me
    MrIndeedNL MrIndeedNL 13-15, M Apr 2

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    I'm on the outside and I'm looking in I can see through you see your through colors Cause inside your ugly your ugly like me. All the times that I've cried my intentions full of...
    loner1226 loner1226 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    "I'm too school for cool.....party crasher penny snatcher :P......call me up if you're a gangster......don't be fancy :O.....just get to dancing ^_^.......why so serious?? Raise...
    drama16queen1997 drama16queen1997 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    I had a lot of friends but mostly were girls. They left me outside so i had a newfriend I called him C . We played videogames we played soccer and he really listened to my stories...
    jeannetjayy jeannetjayy 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    I disagree here. I've known my best friend for something like five years. I've always loved him, but never known he felt anything for me. Now I do. Greatest thing that's ever...
    Mjjim86 Mjjim86 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 23

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    All I am is a girl I want the world in my hands I hate the beach but I stand in California with my toes in the sand ( The part that I love ) He know what I think about and...
    ziaJamal ziaJamal 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    I have many friends but i just want that one best friend. Like i want to be a best friend to someone and be their best friend only. Someone to connect very easily with....
    dawntaker020 dawntaker020 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    just allow me to share your pain and help me to relieve mine
    falcon2397 falcon2397 18-21, M Mar 23

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    I'm a person who is quite the interesting kind. I laugh and make people laugh. I make people blush and smile like it's no tomorrow but the one thing I don't have are best friends...
    Enoch88 Enoch88 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 14

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    I miss having a best friend.. the kind you tell everything to everyday or every other day. The person that understands you accepts you for who you are. Never judges. Always makes...
    Freeturkey Freeturkey 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    besides my dog, i have no best friend. the one i had for over 16 years decided to turn into a druggie and move in with his other friend who was supplying him. he then ended up...
    RedBats RedBats 26-30, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Seriously thoo. I need a best friend who will listen to all of my problems and help me, whenever I'm feeling down <3
    CadyWelch CadyWelch 13-15, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Well I don't really want one its more like I want someone to talk to. My best friend right now is going through some stuff so we started talking less and less. It would be nice if...
    Butencio Butencio 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Anyone want to talk, message me? Unless you're a creep!
    Annabel19 Annabel19 18-21, F 12 Responses Apr 12

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    I want some one I can trust and tell every thin and any thin to and will be there for as I will do all the same for the bit thin is they have to be a girl cos I get on with girls...
    scottishbigguy scottishbigguy 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 12

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    I want someone who lives near me and can hangout and can accept me. Salina Kansas area, accept that I'm gay. I'm 17 and can be really fun once you get know me but I also have had a...
    rchris96 rchris96 16-17, M 4 days ago

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    Inception- Mal: I'll tell you a riddle. You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you; but you don't know for...
    GreenEyedFox GreenEyedFox 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    If anyone can guess what movie this quote comes from I will give you a heart:) quote is: "stay gold pony boy, stay gold"
    reidcm reidcm 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 10

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