I Want Your Best Pick Up Line

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 149 People


    i don't really have any pickup lines but i was thinking i might try this. i go up to a lady in a bar and say "hi my name is Rick i have an incredibly small penis...can i buy you a drink?"
    ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick
    46-50, M
    20 Responses May 9, 2008

    Best I Ever Heard

    A man catches up with a girl walking home in the rain, and says to her, "Tickle your *** with a feather", she says"What did you say". He says I said Particularly nasty weather.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter
    51-55, M
    Oct 11, 2012

    Any Irish In You

    have you any irish in you, do you want some.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Dec 10, 2010

    Or Maybe Not....

    "Excuse me miss, but does this cloth smell like chloroform?"   Just kidding!  It was in the comics today - Argyle Sweater by Scot Hilburn
    EBunbury EBunbury
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

    On a scale of 1 to 10,

    you're like a 9 -- I'm the 1 you need ;P
    endlessl0ve endlessl0ve
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Jul 13, 2015

    Was your mom a fighter pilot?

    Because when she had you, she dropped a bomb. ( ._.) Sorry, I'm watching Penguins of Madagascar. -.-
    MichaelMyers1 MichaelMyers1
    18-21, M
    Feb 3, 2015

    Nice Shirt

     "Wow, that shirt is really becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too" lmao
    Manders Manders
    18-21, F
    3 Responses May 9, 2008

    Amazingly Bad

    Can I hang out with you until it's safe back where I farted? I'm not telling you this to impress you...but I am Batman Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
    Sweetroll88 Sweetroll88
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 30, 2010


    are you dancing or holding down a floor board
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Dec 7, 2010

    Here's My Number

    "Here's my number...call me if you're brave enough".....It worked!
    peanutbrittle peanutbrittle
    46-50, F
    1 Response May 11, 2008


    how would you like to be buried with my people
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter
    51-55, M
    3 Responses Dec 7, 2010


    "want to get a pizza and ****" after she slaps you "ok we'll get subs"
    loneranger loneranger
    31-35, M
    Apr 13, 2009

    Random guy: You are worth more then a dam pile

    of schist wise girl Me: marry me
    sixpackbookworm sixpackbookworm
    16-17, F
    1 Response Dec 14, 2014

    for a dude: are you sugar?

    cause your making my pants tight.
    Tenebris73 Tenebris73
    13-15, F
    Jul 13, 2015

    Game, Set, & Match.

    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    deleted deleted
    9 Responses Aug 31, 2008

    Re: Pick Up Line

    "Hey baby. You are so fine. Wanna  a date?" "Damn. Momma. You are hot." "You are smoking hot." "You have some knockers." "Damn. You have a great ***." "I can make you world. Come to my house."    ...
    mother1983 mother1983
    31-35, F
    2 Responses May 10, 2008


    Freeze   you  are  under  arrest   you  have  the  right  to  remain  sexy EVerything  you   say  can  and   will   be  held  against you. I  have ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397
    46-50, F
    12 Responses May 9, 2008

    Here It Comes

    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    chaosXIII chaosXIII
    22-25, M
    2 Responses May 19, 2009

    I Don't Have Any

    But i've heard a few cheesey ones! One guy actually said "Get your coat love, you've pulled!" Sheesh! I politly told him that he hadn't
    deleted deleted
    May 9, 2008

    Fat Girl

    you dont sweat much for a fat girl
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter
    51-55, M
    1 Response Dec 7, 2010
    serenagirl87 serenagirl87
    16-17, F
    5 Responses Jul 14, 2015

    Old One

    Hi. How long have you had your pilots license for? Why? Because i figure you must have flown down from heaven because I don't see any signs of bruising.
    0hBrandie 0hBrandie
    41-45, M
    2 Responses May 10, 2008


    Attention: tall rich guy wanted.......please be an idiot who needs someone to write checks for you!!
    deleted deleted
    Mar 3, 2013

    You Don't Want to Get Electrocuted Do You?

    I could protect men during a rain storm with lightening by hiding their "rod" for them so they wouldn't get electrocuted. Of course I don't think I need to explain any further......
    cinfullynn cinfullynn
    46-50, F
    7 Responses May 9, 2008

    These Will Work Every Time. Not Really.

    Hey baby, I noticed you had a bra on. I'd like to stick my face in that. Hey there, if you can speak Parseltongue you can get in my chamber of secrets. Have you seen Aladdin? I sure do like sex. Please have sex with me. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I...
    InfamousKilljoyLorelei InfamousKilljoyLorelei
    18-21, F
    Jul 3, 2013

    I Want to

    I want to **** you.Do you want to **** me? I've only used a pick up line once,we have been dating for two years so I guess it was worth it.
    Trikka Trikka
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jul 25, 2008
    miiaa247 miiaa247
    16-17, F
    Jul 24, 2015

    Another Groaner

    Man- "Was your father a thief?" Woman- "No, why?" Man- "Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes."
    Bluegrass Bluegrass
    46-50, F
    13 Responses May 10, 2008

    Here You Go

    you walk over to her and ask "Hay you want to get a pizza and ****" and after she slaps you,  you say "ok we'll get subs instead"  
    loneranger loneranger
    31-35, M
    May 10, 2008


    If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Lyrics in a Country song.. but dang good line !!!
    deleted deleted
    Mar 3, 2013

    Im Sorry

    Hi. Im.... Im sorry... Im at a loss here, you're so beautiful I forgot my name...
    hotroddot39 hotroddot39
    41-45, M
    Mar 2, 2011

    Works Best While Intoxicated...

    "Those jeans look amazing on you... ... but they'd look even better on my bedroom floor." [[raises eyebrow]] Any takers?  
    OFFthecuff OFFthecuff
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Sep 1, 2008

    The First Time I Saw You

    From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.
    deleted deleted
    Mar 4, 2013

    Here Is An Irish One...

    my sister says this was said to her as a marriage proposal  "How would you like to be buried with my people"
    maninamousesuit maninamousesuit
    51-55, M
    2 Responses May 10, 2008

    Alright! time to talk the talk.

    ... what's ur best Pick Up Line bro?
    deleted deleted
    10 Responses Jul 14, 2015

    Damn Girl!

    If I told you, you had the sexiest body i'd ever seen... Would you hold it against me???!   Orrr my personal favorite..   Mmmm girl... Are you Retarded??... Cause I think you are Sooo Special!   ...   ;P      
    Vox Vox
    31-35, F
    4 Responses May 10, 2008


    I don't have one...I usually just flirt! But I have heard a few really tired lines and I want to know which one's work for you guys!
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21
    22-25, F
    May 9, 2008
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