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I Was Abused In a Bdsm Relationship

A safe place to share your experiances in the BDSM world 45 People

    Recovery and Relationships

    One of the hardest things i find about healing.. and further WANTING to heal is trying to establish healthy lasting relationships of any type.  For a long while- i have approached relationships as a supplicant.  That is, that i was undeserving of the relationship...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Sep 3, 2009

    ****!

    ... I guess "missing" is the official word for what's happened to her.  One of my best friends daughters is missing .. she's about my age just a touch younger.  but given to poor choices and decision making abilities. So she ran off with this guy from the...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Apr 23, 2009

    The Wrong Way?

    i was in love with this female dom who cuffed me to a tree and stopped me from making physical contact from her which infuriated me, jsut the way she was regarding me, laughing at me,  made me eventually breakdown in tears. i was in a raw state from before and had made it clear...
    rawb207 rawb207
    18-21
    3 Responses Mar 5, 2011

    My Sadist- My Friend

    For the record- I've decided to dump a my BDSM stories and feelings here for 2 main reasons, one because at this point it is impossible to separate how i feel about BDSM  and the memories of the abuse and two- because i am a very sensitive girl.  So- if you cant say...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 30, 2009

    Most days, I feel like I've gotten to a point

    that it doesn't haunt me anymore. Like other traumas I have managed to "forget" one day at a time that I have this big emotional thing that still hurts if I look at it to long. Most days I've trained my eyes to look away. With the internet though, It's so tempting to find...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jun 24, 2015

    My Contradictions

    Here i am again, Thanks for listening.  I have had a lot of time to think lately.  I've been working hard on healing lately.  Not only that but trying to find the source of my personal power and draw from it.  And of course, for a long time this really...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 17, 2010

    Probably Too Late

    I am not sure where to start nor what to say. Like all doms I am appalled at what some people get involved in. I have met some women who wanted to be abused because they thought they deserved no better. Some ******** think this is the definition of a sub. These men would...
    demorcan demorcan
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 4, 2012

    My Current Punishment

    Hello my name is samii but you can just call me nytemare, I have had a master for about 2 years and and mommy and mistress for about a year. This week i am finally really learning the word "training" i have been able to be persuasive and manipulative and now i am paying the price...
    nytemarehunter nytemarehunter
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Sep 13, 2012

    Suffering Journey

    "Abuse" can be executed in any number of ways, but basically, it means you trusted someone and they betrayed you -- usually constantly, and sometimes in different ways. Often, they got some giggles or even joy out of it. And being a sub in a BDSM relationship means you are in...
    auroramaru auroramaru
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Jun 5, 2011

    Do We Ever Really Recover?

    I guess, not man people can relate.  They really just don't know what it is like at all to be in the situations that I'm in.and maybe i do that to myself... who knows.But I'm taking a break from my sadist at the moment (or rather his life is forcing us to take a break) and...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 28, 2010

    Musings

    BDSM is a very tangled thing for me.  I dont see it as black and white OR grey.  Its more like i spiral with all those colors swirling around, curling up and dancing with another.   I guess it's hard for me to talk about because i feel so many diffrent ways...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 21, 2009

    It Happened Again

    I think I must have a terrible understanding of BDSM. I must be a bad reader of people. Either that or collarme is full of rapists and abusers. I can't for the life of me understand why I keep getting violated. I didnt even fight or scream or anything this time. I thought to...
    someonelovesfo someonelovesfo
    22-25
    6 Responses Aug 3, 2012

    A Tribute To M Y (daddy,sadist, Dom)

    I thought about sorting and filing this in a different place, i mean this story isnt about being abused. I find though, that my daddy is a big part of my recovery and not only when he's wearing his daddy "hat."  I created this group to write about my sorrow, fear, and anger...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    Sep 29, 2012

    The Night I Was Proposed To (aka The Start Of My Fall)

    **I warn for those who might be sensative...that this might be somewhat graphic. Read on only if you wish.   My Master had an interesting outlook on life. A cruel sense of humor. I was there for his amusement, and that purpose alone. My mind was so broken at this stage...
    TiEnya TiEnya
    26-30, F
    10 Responses Mar 10, 2010

    Scars.

    My abuse was both mental and physical. I am a masochist/pain **** or whatever it is that you want to call someone who enjoys pain. This has gotten me in trouble in the past, and with my most recent Dom, I never dreamed it would. I've been conditioned to not ask questions...
    Distraught55 Distraught55
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 21, 2013

    The Bad Guy

    I was this this guy who invited his friend over one night to watch us have sex. but we all ended up doing it. anyways, the new guy took over and eventually i left the first one. me and Mr. mean continued on with our BDSM relationship. Only it got out of control. He was a...
    ijustneedtoletitout ijustneedtoletitout
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Nov 28, 2012

    A Quick Reason to Be Here...

    With the fact that I have been in this situation and can relate.  I have come to back up the creator of this group.  She has a thread talking about Abuse & BDSM.  Instead of support she got the "I hope you learned something BS cause you were young..."   Not exact...
    SunniL SunniL
    46-50, F
    9 Responses Sep 23, 2009

    My Life

    i had a gf(oh she is my owner mistress now).She was vanilla person, knew nothing about kinky and femdom i always tried to covience her for femdom relationship indirectly.i used keep femdom **** in my pc and when she came and saw it she asked me about it and found interesting.i...
    surabhiagl surabhiagl
    22-25, M
    1 Response Sep 13, 2012

    Some Kind Of Magic

    When i got my feet again, i stood up and walked to the only person i knew i could trust... my sadist.  Most of the time we get together is "stolen" time, that is, there isn't that much of it and we often have to share it with others.... it makes the time we do get...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Nov 30, 2009

    About a Lot of Things..

    I find, that this is a lot different, than other kinds of abuse (mind you not better or worse just different) There's a lot of strange guilt attached that cant  be dismissed, because on some level I did consent to what was going to happen.  I just had no idea what was...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    11 Responses Sep 30, 2008

    Beaten To Oblivion

    I was legal. He was older wiser ... he was awesome. he reached down inside me grabbed hold of guilt and insecurity and convinced me that I was bad and I deserved punishment. This a concept not new to me. One that I had already known since childhood. The first day I met him. He...
    someonelovesfo someonelovesfo
    22-25
    1 Response Mar 21, 2012

    Note To Myself

    (i wrote this in 2008, i thought it was a pretty powerful think to hold onto, it belongs more in the "i wrote letters i could never send" category but the subject matter is more relevant here, restructuring is a pain isnt it?) So I've been working very hard on the whole trying...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Dec 23, 2010

    I Wasn't Abused

    Or was I? I know I wasn't raped. Technically I hadn't said "no", so how can it be abuse? But I was never asked if I was okay with something or not. He would always begin the act and then, as he claims, look for negative reactions. For e.g. he talked me into asphyxiation while I...
    jira008 jira008
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 20, 2012

    Out Of Nowhere

    Last night, i had what i can only call a thought malfunction that rolled into a medium panic attack... I was feeling good,(loved well treated, attractive) and all the sudden the Nemesis snuck into my thoughts. Whispering insecurities to me .... "when this relationship was new...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 15, 2010

    Learning To Embrace The "forbidden"

    Now, being THIS group specifically.. i know that title could mean any of number of things, but for me... its all about touching... specifically touching somebody else. Even before the crushing abusive BDSM relationship- i don't know if i just drew weird cards or what- the guys i...
    Shierke Shierke
    26-30, F
    Dec 23, 2009

    Having Second Thoughts

    I'm not all that new to BDSM, but I'm beginning to wonder if this is really for me. I live in a place (not where my profile says I live) where Doms generally make their subs sign legal waivers releasing them from liability and loss of life and limb before they engage in play...
    Weissdorn Weissdorn
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Apr 17, 2013
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