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I Was In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

This is for those women and men who are unhappy in a relationship because of control issues...come in and share your story,...We are the ones who understand... 2,872 People

    I dated a guy (steve,

    though that's not his real name) for almost 5 years. and he was just really, really, really mean. he never called me names or anything but he was constantly hurting my feelings and it honestly felt like he would just do it on purpose. we were on and off so it wasn't ever really...
    findingbeemo41 findingbeemo41 22-25, F Feb 22

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    We were together for almost 5yrs,

    we never lived together and we have a 1 yr old kid and only last month I discovered I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I got the name calling, I got belittled, I got blamed for everything when he got mad it was me, if he wasn't happy it was me. I became so caught up...
    reallysorry reallysorry 22-25 4 Responses Feb 8

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    I just broke up with my girlfriend

    that I have been with for 8 years now. I struggle with a addiction problem that she just can't accept. She becomes abusive and violent when I relapse. I have been trying to stay sober and clean but there is just something instead that feels empty in me. I can't talk to her or...
    lovelife2014 lovelife2014 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 13

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    My ex of two years was emotionally abusive.

    I was living with her and she was very critical towards me. Ranging from how I washed the cast iron pan to how I'm not handy like her guy friends to my income to how cheap I was (I paid for 80% of the time we went out), to my performance as a man, and the list went on. She...
    sylworks sylworks 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 16

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    I was in a emotional abusive relationship

    and I'm out of it now . My ex and I started dating freshman year of high school but we've known each other since 7th grade . He never used to be emotionally abusive to me . When we started dating he was amazing we were so in love and we became so close and then we got really...
    Loving1234 Loving1234 16-17, F Mar 31

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    All the women's touching stories I've heard on

    this site and elsewhere seem to have some pretty noticeable similarities. For one, the abuse is, instead of how most people might assume, VERY gradual- not immediate. In a lot of cases it can be the most attentive man, most affectionate or loving relationship any of us have ever...
    experifink experifink 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    The Answers And Signs To Your Abuse

    I was a victim...I asked myself these questions but I finally found it. I was a victim of subtle emotional abuse. It was subtle because we had only been together for 10 months...and yet he was already showing so much of his true colors. The signs I noticed...they can be confusing...
    mandypandi mandypandi 18-21, F 9 Responses Apr 3, 2013

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    I was In a relationshit

    for a year with this guy I no longer can call my friend. I saw ALL the signs but, I still was able to love him and forgive everything he had ever done to me. Whether it was physical abuse, verbal abuse, or mental, I still stayed. We broke up countless of times and now...he's...
    ImSplendid ImSplendid 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 23

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    I got used to being emotionally abused from my

    dad and as i got older it was immune to me! i didn't realize how poor of a decision i made to settle for someone who had no emotional feelings for me as i did to her, it was foolish of me to feel like i 'HAD' to open my feelings and break down my own walls for someone who i...
    Islandkween Islandkween 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    The peace I have now

    that I was taken away from before truly shows that these relationships hold you back from loving yourself and loving others. Self-awareness is completely gone, which makes you become numb to your own feelings. Confused and lost, but deep down inside something tells you to leave...
    blowyamind blowyamind 22-25, F Apr 3

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    I just divorced my abusive husband of 3 years.

    We dated over a year before we married and overall he was a terrific guy. He wasn't perfect by any means and he said some hurtful things to me but nothing like I was about to experience after the wedding. Almost immediately the verbal and emotional abuse started. He called...
    Setfree2013 Setfree2013 31-35, F 6 Responses Dec 4, 2013

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    I wish I could agree with the "was".

    I think I am, but I feel it is my fault so I can't leave. When I met him he was so charming, I fell in love at first sight. He moved into my place just shy of a month. He told me he was going to marry me, that I was the best woman he had ever met, that I was amazing. Then I...
    TiffRoo TiffRoo 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    How I Can Change It

    I am married for 5 years now in begining everything was fine but after 2 years my husband started changing. He started ignoring me shouting at me without any reason made life a hell. I tried everything to make him happy to keep peace in my house but he always told me that i am...
    littlestars littlestars 26-30, F 24 Responses Aug 17, 2011

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    My Story

    i have been with my boyfriend for a year and one month. He started to get super controlling over me didnt want me hanging out with my friends and always put my family down then he started to put me down alot i would say thee very first time he hit me i was shocked.we had argued...
    kalikween28 kalikween28 22-25, F 118 Responses May 20, 2013

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    Sometimes, when someone is in an emotionally

    abusive relationship, they have no idea. Sometimes, we are completely oblivious to the fact that our lovers are even treating us wrong. Why? Because we become accustomed to their abuse and because we love them, we put up with it because we are fearful of losing them or what we...
    goodbyeghosts goodbyeghosts 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 27

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    Words Hurt Just As Bad

    I have been in an off and off relationship for 5 years. we have been/struggled through a lot, and i thought things were getting better, but now i am not so sure. He has always been verball abusive, which even today he denies saying "**** you you ******* *****" "you're going to...
    3 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    I Should Have Left THEN...

    My story is a lot like others. A series of events that looking back were all indicators of when it was time (or more than time) to walk away. My ex and I were together for a year. The year of the rollercoaster. I was so blind to it all in the beginning. Well not blind to the...
    JBird726 JBird726 26-30, F 4 Responses Sep 24, 2013

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    I was so depression..

    .when my ex boyfriend always a use verbal abuse that makes me feel bad on myself. Realize he is the one who insecure to makes me feel that way too. I don't believe in his words "I love you" he is full of ****! What an ***. I would never date a verbal abuse ever again. That's a...
    xoshorty21 xoshorty21 22-25, F Feb 10

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    Recently (like...6 days ago) I left my

    emotionally abusive Ex (let's call him B). We were together for just shy of 9 months, and lived together for 4 months before that. Everything started out well enough, and I was convinced that I was happy. My best friend from high school (we'll call her L) met B for the first...
    StartingAllOver StartingAllOver 18-21, F Feb 16

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    I'm still in an abusive relationship!

    ! I've come to hate him and his parents (whom we live with) everyday he puts me down somehow he always finds some little thing to get at me tht shirts looks stupid,did you even brush your hair today, you Burned food....ANYTHING he can think of to **** me off. I'm tired of it! He...
    itsme15164 itsme15164 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    My ex boyfriend called me names,

    like, ugly, fat, stupid ect. he wouldnt let me talk to my friends. he would leave at night and come back drunk with hickies all over him. then he would yell at me and make me feel like it was his fault he had to leave and be with other girls because i wouldnt do anything with...
    chezza33 chezza33 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    Parents, they can be the most abusive.

    How unfair? When the person you are supposed to trust the most in this life, as a child, a teenager and later on a grown-up, is the one that abuses you physically and emotionally. With a deep sense of guilt, you are scared to come out and reveal what's happened. This is what's...
    denise0707 denise0707 36-40 Feb 28

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    My first relationship was with a transgender M

    to F, before her surgery, but I didn't have gay tendencies, never touched or saw her privates. At first it was great, everything was amazing for love and care kind of stuff. I admit when she left for her surgery I couldn't stop worrying, it was my first love, when she told me...
    Auricor Auricor 26-30, M Jan 5

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    I feel like lately instead of accepting all

    about myself I've been doing a nice job rejecting it. I am in a phase where I really have trouble feeling like I'm enough. I've always felt very wise I've always felt very smart and ahead of the game. There are some things, of course, that I haven't been too adept to. But lately...
    Lavender198 Lavender198 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 18

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    I had known D since we were 10

    and began dating when we were 15 and dated for nearly 5 years. the first couple of years were like most high school relationships. We fell in love and people were jealous because we seemed so perfect for each other. Sometimes we thought it was such a good match, we assumed it...
    Alex2442 Alex2442 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 3

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    Have Self Respect, I Didn't

    I was in a emotionally abusive relationship. I couldn't handle my own stress and hers. I was insulted, berated, belittled and blackmailed. I had my heart broken multiple times and it tore me down; caused me to delve in a deep depression that has only lifted a few days ago. During...
    formermusician formermusician 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 29, 2013

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    I Lost Two Years Of My Life And Several Friends To An Emotionally Abusive Boyfriend.

    Having broken up with my first real boyfriend at the age of 19, I was really frustrated and kind of lost. I dated around and made a few mistakes with men who didn't respect me, until I found "Kyle," who I thought was a sensitive, loving, intelligent man who just wanted to enjoy...
    phunfonics phunfonics 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 30, 2012

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    After being through an abusive relationship I

    was convinced that my core beliefs were fundamentally wrong. But, breaking up with the abusive person meant not only leaving someone I loved but also facing the challenge of deep diving into my own core. Having your world views shattered by abuse was hard enough. Revisiting...
    sylworks sylworks 26-30, M 3 Responses Feb 17

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    It's been almost 6 months

    since we broke up, and I'm happy. My life is so much better. I feel better, laugh more, I've lost 25 pounds, I've traveled to Europe. I've been offered a job across the country and I can't wait. I was hopeless, I thought he was the one, I thought he would change. I realized I...
    mousecop mousecop 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 22, 2013

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    Finally Untethered

    I have one relationship in my past that I tend to make a lot of references to.* At this point I am able to discuss this person and this situation and even who I was at the time without any sense of emotional connection, which I really consider to be healthy given the amount of...
    castallare castallare 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 28, 2009

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    Its been a year and a half

    since I left, because the abuse turned physical. I feel like mentally, the effects of a 6 year abusive relationship are more prominent now than ever. I am trying to reconnect with old friends, but I've lost so many years. I have a difficult time making new close friends. I just...
    Feelingsmiles Feelingsmiles 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 14

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    I Survived An Emotional Abusive Marraige/

    This story kinda Carry's on from another of mine, "A Mothers Love"I left my parents home when I was 19 and moved in with my then boyfriend. He was the first serious boyfriend I had had, was flattered i guess by the attention he showed me after years of being made to feel I was...
    gem1969 gem1969 41-45, F 4 Responses May 23, 2013

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    Don't Tear Me Down

    I was worthless, stupid and I could never survive without him.  I was incompetent as a mother.  Everything I ever did was wrong and I heard it everyday.  Nothing was ever good enough no matter how hard I tried and I gave it my all.  Past experience has shown...
    ichooselife ichooselife 36-40, F 9 Responses Jul 21, 2008

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    we are freshman in highschool,

    age 15, he's 16. at the beginning of our relationship he acted as if he didn't know me, he'd never sit with me at lunch, or ever try and spend time with me. he said it was "public affection issues" i broke up with him 2 months later. during that breakup his friends would poke...
    katiebrooks005 katiebrooks005 13-15, F Apr 5

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    Men Get Abused Too !

     My GF is a young and narcissistic - I'm sure she has some personality disorder - ever seen the movie "anger management" ? . She get volatile and abusive. Slams doors and shouts and screams - she slapped me across the fac because I had the nerve to fall asleep...
    bigyin bigyin 46-50, M 6 Responses Oct 4, 2008

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    Totally Confused and In Love

    I am currently in a 3 year relationship that i feel is very abusive in teh beginning if we got into an argument he would get very mad and sometimes hit me after a while that stopped and now it is more verbal abuse than physical...i have gained a lot of weight because of the...
    totallyconfused09 totallyconfused09 31-35 5 Responses Feb 24, 2009

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    If you've read my last story,

    you'll have a better understanding to my experience for this one. I have no idea how to get myself out of this hole that I dug myself into. I have been putting up with it for about a year and a half now and I can't seem to stop liking/loving him. It's emotionally sick. He plays...
    cak22 cak22 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 7

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    Your Decision, Your Life

    Oh, how wonderful it is to finally have some PEACE...Kiss   I may not have all the things I once had, but I now know what was missing that makes everything else obsolete.   I thank God everyday for the strength he gave me to take the steps I needed to walk away...
    LADYFAY LADYFAY 56-60, F 7 Responses Apr 10, 2008

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    i don't know if i want to talk about this.

    . but i need to get it off my chest somehow so here we go. i was dating a guy and well frankly it was a total waste of time. i feel sick just thinking about it and how much time i'v wasted over him. it started up way to quickly. maybe it was the fact that he was younger.. i don't...
    UnusualAngel UnusualAngel 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    There isn't a topic for those already in a

    Emotionally Abusive relationship. So I decided to post what happened to me today: Before I begin, me and my partner have been together for six years going on seven. I have been the target of his emotional and passive aggressive abuse for a long time and have developed a numb...
    SoAntagonistic SoAntagonistic 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 22

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    Emotional Abuse And Control Disguised As "My First Love"

    He was my first real boyfriend. We dated for 10 and a half months. I was 17 and he was 19. He seemed perfect. He was Cuban, I was Cuban. He had goals, I had goals. He was smart, I was smart. He was family oriented, I was family oriented. We had a lot in common it seemed. He told...
    mandypandi mandypandi 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Quick Update On My Story Divorcing My Asperger Husband.

    I gave divorce paperwork to my husband to sign. He didn't sign it yet. But OMG! Such an amazing change! On Sunday he took both boys to gym for 3 hours. Today he was cooking dinner with me when I came home from work. I don't buy it. I'm wondering what kind of tricks (dirty or not...
    Squized Squized 46-50 5 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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    I Am Just Starting To See....

    The extent of the abuse and control I allowed this man to have over me. I'm really amazed, I truly wasn't aware that it was as deep as it was. I have just gotten off the phone with a House Of Ruth legal volunteer, at the end of the conversation she asked me 2 last questions that...
    LadyHawke68 LadyHawke68 41-45, F 6 Responses May 3, 2012

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    Need The Courage To Leave

    hi, I have been with my npd partner for 3 yrs relationship moved too fast with him declaring his love for me after just a couple of weeks, I then found out I was pregnant after a couple of months, he stayed with me(which he now says was out of pity) i had to change my religon and...
    Iriseagain Iriseagain 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 12, 2012

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    liquescent liquescent 18-21 1 Response Feb 17

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    Thirty Years And Still Haven't Found The Strength To Leave...

    I am embarrassed to say I have been married for thirty years to my emotionally abusive husband. It seems I am a very slow learner. Early in the relationship the abuse was not so often of course, and I had no understanding at all as to what it was. It has only been the last few...
    lmaw lmaw 51-55 8 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    Escape

    This was a dream I had the night before breaking up with someone many many years ago. I didn't edit my memory, it's quite long and the narrative flow might seem a bit off. ------------------------------------------ I'm stepping outside of the huge castle, in fact I'm still...
    NekoGummy NekoGummy 36-40, F Sep 22, 2013

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    Intelligent Women Suffer Abusive Men Too

    Having survived an abusive three and a half relationship, two year marriage, I am happy to share my thoughts and offer any advice I can. My first marriage was not unhappy, but it was loveless and we had nothing but the children in common. I longed for a loving partner that I...
    carolinewirral carolinewirral 46-50 8 Responses Jan 2, 2009

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    When Love Hurts

    When Love Hurts I can relate to many women, who have been mentally and emotionally abused, by what started out as a loving, and caring relationship, then it turned into there own personal hell. I was in their shoes just a couple of years ago. I was led to believe that...
    LADYFAY LADYFAY 56-60, F 14 Responses Apr 17, 2008

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    I was so depression..

    .when my ex boyfriend always a use verbal abuse that makes me feel bad on myself. Realize he is the one who insecure to makes me feel that way too. I don't believe in his words "I love you" he is full of ****! What an ***. I would never date a verbal abuse ever again. That's a...
    xoshorty21 xoshorty21 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 10

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    The Abusive Man

    I was in an abusive relationship for a year and a half. This was during my undergraduate study.  It has been one of the most difficult and eye opening experiences in my life. For a very long time I didn't realise why I was feeling so on edge, I was scared of him a little without...
    SamanP SamanP 22-25 4 Responses Apr 20, 2012

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    THIS IS A REAL AND LEGITMATE FORM OF ABUSE.

    I struggle with the fact that not only was my ex emotionally abusive, but so was my own father. I can legitimately say that I am ****** up because of it. I can't trust anyone, I can't ever shake the feeling that I'm going to be left alone with no one to love. I cannot get rid...
    cemarie128 cemarie128 18-21, F 22 hrs ago

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    My now sorta ex got tired of having to commit

    to a serious relationship with me once she turned 21 (because she wanted to go out to bars and not have to worry about me staying home until I turn 21), but didn't she have the guts to break it off. So she instead has been gradually using me worse and worse for months in attempt...
    Mercey Mercey 18-21, M Mar 17

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    Divorcing My Asperger Husband. Divorcing Christian.

    Greetings to everyone who needs help and to everyone who can provide it ! I am here not to blame people with neurological conditions for my problems. I am here looking for people's opinion about my case. I'm married for 18 years to an Asperger man. That he is in spectrum I...
    Squized Squized 46-50 7 Responses Jan 28, 2013

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    I survived a narcissist.

    Oddly enough, so did my sister so I have someone close to talk about it. I think the common thread with abusers is they start slow so you don't notice. It wasn't until he assaulted me, was arrested and deported from my country that I realized how controlled I was. I hacked his...
    chookie77 chookie77 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 1

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    Use Me, Abuse Me.

    I was 17 when i first met my ex fiance' Chong. He was 18 at the time. I met him from a group of friends. He was an *** but i thought it was just a show for our male friends so i didn't pay no mind. We would joke and whatnot but he seemed like he had no interest in me until one...
    MissSpookiness MissSpookiness 26-30, F 4 Responses May 10, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    THIS IS A REAL AND LEGITMATE FORM OF ABUSE. I struggle with the fact that not only was my ex emotionally abusive, but so was my own father. I can legitimately say that I am...
    cemarie128 cemarie128 18-21, F 2 Responses 22 hrs ago