I Was Not Allowed to Feel Or Express Anger Growing Up

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 230 People

    I don't think it was intentional.

    I think my parents tried very hard to give me a good life. So if I expressed anger, they reacted as if I was ungrateful for all they did for me. My dad also had a bad temper, and he scared me. I was afraid to go up against him in any kind of angry battle. He of course was...
    Fallflower Fallflower
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Jun 15, 2015

    I don't know if I am bent

    or broken. I've been holding things in for so long that its hard for me to tell any story of mine. I'm so distant and when you have all that anger and weight on your shoulders,it destroys you to the point where you have to shake hands with the dark parts of your mind. its not...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 10, 2015

    Wait, so you're telling me

    that there are people actually allowed to do so? I thought everyone gets punished if they let themselves be angry in front otheir parents. At least that's what I experienced and from what I've heard from my friends, all of them did, too.
    AccioTea AccioTea
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 15, 2015

    I was the smallest and youngest person in the

    house. So I had no power. Everyone else had control over me. So I lived in fear. I worry sometimes that I will get a temper like my mother. She was a very angry woman and would hit me and wake me up when she came home late from work because I did not do house chores. She used a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jun 14, 2015

    but luckily at a very young age I learned to

    think for myself and do what I needed to do.
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic
    36-40, F
    Jun 15, 2015

    It causes trouble so I hold it in

    and cry myself to sleep every night.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Sep 5, 2015

    I'm Still Growing Up Like That

    My mother was diagnosed with Hep C when I was 7 years old. It's been almost 10 years since then, and my brother and sister moved out years ago, so now it's just me and her. Every time a chore wasn't done exactly how and when she wanted it done, she'd scream and yell, and...
    SerpentMage SerpentMage
    18-21
    3 Responses Aug 5, 2009

    I once did scream real loud,

    like 7-6 years ago and my brother beat me in a way and emotionally blackmailed me that untill this day I havnt screamed louder and I think that's why I started to cut n I either hurt myself,become abusive or start breaking things down and slamming doors.doing all this still gets...
    Scorpio95117 Scorpio95117
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jun 21, 2015

    Still Im Not....

    When i was younger, if I showed any kind of emotion what so ever, I would get in trouble for it, It is still that way right now, but not as bad as it use to be. I am able to control my emotions now better than I was when I was youbnnger and all, but still the point is, when I was...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Aug 7, 2009

    My Father Was a Rageaholic/alcoholic But If I Dared Express Anger He Withdrew His Love.

    My mother on the other hand would start to cry and make me feel guilty. I was also told I 'shouldn't' feel angry ever! So, I came to believe that anger was equal to being unloveable and guilty of being a bad person. As an adult I feared that if I expressed my anger directly to...
    candy100 candy100
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Aug 5, 2009

    I grew up as an only child.

    I was always a cheerful kid, although I did get in trouble by my parents a lot in my younger years. I love both my parents to death, but one thing that I wish I could be more confident about is expressing my sadness/anger whenever I feel down. If I cried, I would just be labeled...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jun 15, 2015

    I was sexually abused

    and if I would cry, get sick, be angry, sad or be numb I would get into more trouble and have a gun pointed at me.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jun 15, 2015
    NewSeren NewSeren
    56-60, F
    Jun 22, 2015

    I'm here for you Shari,

    I know you have anger issues and I want you to know that you cannot and will not ever be able to hurt me. It's my life's mission to be strong for you. I love what you do and I love who you are. There is no moving on for me. You are my soulmate. I've set the hook deep. I was a...
    SammyJD11 SammyJD11
    31-35, M
    Feb 4, 2014

    anger meant shutting up.

    pathetic how people in desperate need of control are so fearful of losing it that they feel the need to forbid others to express.
    sadcookiemonster sadcookiemonster
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 5

    I'm Only Supposed To Be Happy

    I've never been allowed to express my anger or negative emotions. If I was angry, I was being a bad child and my parents were always right. Even now, I'm a bad person if I get angry and do not agree with everyone around me. I'm always wrong. I never know what I'm talking...
    fuglywuggly fuglywuggly
    26-30
    Jan 30, 2010
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jun 21, 2015

    I wasn't allowed to show anger.

    especially around my family. now, I'm still angry. its been a long time. but I'm not violent. not now at least. I'm just angry. when I do express my anger. I don't hurt people,that would make me feel horrible.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jun 14, 2015

    Don't Question His Ways

    I usually see the injustice with my dad's rules. But I swallowed my wrath for him. That's better than to question his ways and answer me with strikes.
    dazzlingeyes dazzlingeyes
    18-21, F
    May 31, 2010

    I don't think I was allowed to express most

    emotions as a kid. It was pointless to do so, as it ended in the same punishment. I have learnt to become so closed off. It takes me such a long time to trust people in person. So many failed r/ships & friendships. It makes me so sad, but I can't seem to become a "proper adult...
    Littlepigisabitlow Littlepigisabitlow
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jun 15, 2015

    My Father Was a Rageaholic/alcoholic But If I Dared Express Anger He Withdrew His Love.

    My mother on the other hand would start to cry and make me feel guilty. I was also told I 'shouldn't' feel angry ever! So, I came to believe that anger was equal to being unloveable and guilty of being a bad person. As an adult I feared that if I expressed my anger directly to...
    candy100 candy100
    56-60, F
    1 Response Aug 5, 2009

    My Father Was a Rageaholic/alcoholic But If I Dared Express Anger He Withdrew His Love.

    My mother on the other hand would start to cry and make me feel guilty. I was also told I 'shouldn't' feel angry ever! So, I came to believe that anger was equal to being unloveable and guilty of being a bad person. As an adult I feared that if I expressed my anger directly to...
    candy100 candy100
    56-60, F
    4 Responses Aug 5, 2009

    Yeah. When parents are like oh your sad cause

    you broke your foot well keep complaining and ill give you something to cry about and then I get angry and they're all offended and I get grounded. Or when me and a friend have an argument and instead of letting us scream at each other and get it out they pull us apart, listen...
    SeanDR SeanDR
    16-17, M
    Jun 14, 2015
    GlassofLighters GlassofLighters
    22-25, M
    Jun 15, 2015
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