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I Was Once Not Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 45 People

    My Break-down.

    One thing I am sure of is that the person of 2 years ago is not the me I am today. I was completely controlled by my illnesses, no medication, no therapy. I was hell breathing. - RDW
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 21-25, F Sep 14, 2007

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    I Hated Who I Was...

    A lot had happened. I might go into that someday, but for now, all you need to know is that a lot happened... I became someone I hated. I became someone snappy, irritable, reclusive... undesirable... But slowly, I've changed. And I'm finally becoming someone I love. Someone...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 23, 2008

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    Still Not

    I'm still not really myself. I kind of switch about to different people depending on whoever I'm with. I don't really know who I am anymore.
    brighteyed brighteyed 18-21, F Sep 14, 2007

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    Confused And Struggling. Help Me.

    I am not sure how it started. Everything's unsure. It was blurry. It was difficult and dark. All I know is that I have these diseases of Nervous Breakdown and Anxiety Depression. It is really difficult to compose words to translate everything I have been through. It's been so...
    AinaRosales AinaRosales 18-21, F Nov 20, 2012

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    Broke Down

     my husband tore me down ... when i met him i was a very strong person . over the course of three yrs  ... the old star was gone .  i was so unsure of myself ... i wasnt allowed to take a shower by myself or anything . I still when im at my moms ask if its okay to...
    starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 2, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    And it's been way too long :/
    tasha456 tasha456 16-17, F Aug 25

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    Before, i was unable to tell this story. It was very hard. The only way i have managed to come through in speaking of it was to talk to a friend about it, then soon another friend...
    iris801 iris801 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I hate the way I look. My mother has hated me ever since I was born. She never was once my mother. The only mother I have and ever will have is my stepmother. I hate that I was...
    Marisacruz20 Marisacruz20 18-21, F 9 Responses Sep 10

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    Well I didn't do it last night....all I did was cut myself and I thought I would cut myself deep and that would end it all but no it didn't so now I'm gonna be left with even more...
    Botdf1shutup Botdf1shutup 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 10

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    I am losing myself. My mind is totally black. I feel that I'm a machine doing what I do because of one man. My husband of 14 years destroyed me. He enjoyed abusing me mentally and...
    sad2forget sad2forget 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Looking at all my friends on Facebook, them tagging themselves travelling and posting posts about themselves showing them happy and charming, is killing me. I was the one to be...
    Tommtomy Tommtomy 31-35, M 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I didn't know that was possible, i did not know that you would lose your own identity. For you to understand what i truly mean do you need to know this, i suffer from an amnesia...
    Theresa248 Theresa248 22-25, F 1 hr ago

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    Reluctantly I stare into the abyss once more Yet for the life of me all I can think about Is nothing more than screaming, yet again Nothing audible comes through, at least That's...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 1 hr ago

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    Love is more than a feeling, more than butterflies in the stomach. Love takes action to go with it. I thought what I had with J was love, but I was wrong. It was not love. It was...
    ChicaAudaz ChicaAudaz 18-21, F 9 hrs ago

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    when going through primary i had fase of being rude,back chatting and attitude my mum soon put me on the right line with strict disciple. she gave one warning of two smacks to my...
    naughtykerry8 naughtykerry8 26-30, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    ...but I'm not anymore. Just a year back, I was so badly depressed. I thought it would be the end of my life: actually, I didn't even look forward to any life. I thought there was...
    sunflowerheaven sunflowerheaven 16-17, F 1 hr ago

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    I was too clever and ALWAYS managed to avoid this fate whether my grades were good or not. I even hid that I was in serious danger of failing a year once. Where I live (Chile) a...
    AlphahatesOmega AlphahatesOmega 18-21, M 3 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Once when baby sitting him I think I was 20 and he was 13 he and his pal managed to tie me up and they went and ordered pizza and watched tv until 2 am when they let me go I was...
    eve888 eve888 26-30, F 1 hr ago

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    I find myself wanting to cut. Been clean for 2 months. Trust me im trying really hard to stay clean. I've been a cutter since i was 13 i think... Was able to stay clean for 3 years...
    kmisfit123 kmisfit123 16-17, F 9 hrs ago

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    I know it takes two but why don't I hold him accountable too for the end of our relationship? We got into a fight in February and stopped talking to each other, it was a game of...
    shasha73 shasha73 41-45 4 hrs ago

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    I know it takes two but why don't I hold him accountable too for the end of our relationship? We got into a fight in February and stopped talking to each other, it was a game of...
    shasha73 shasha73 41-45 4 hrs ago

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    I feel empty, useless, unloved, broken and i dont know how to fix myself, i try so hard to believe in a fantasy that can never really be a reality to me... Because I'll never be...
    Tooweak Tooweak 16-17, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    It's been just over 24hrs since the anaesthetic wore off, and my stitches are pulling under the heavy bandaging. Theatre surgeons freak me out, I don't know if it's their blue...
    cavedweller2 cavedweller2 36-40, F 16 hrs ago

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    Today is my exAP's birthday. I spoke to him last night before I went to bed; wished him a happy birthday and asked if he had anything planned. This is his 6th birthday since he...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F 5 hrs ago

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    Its taken a few decades but i have found myself. I will not compromise on anything or anyone who is going to drag me back to who i was.
    Quanitta Quanitta 26-30, F 4 hrs ago

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    My mind has been spiraling out of control. I'm nine months abuse free and my mind is torturing me. The flashes are grueling. The thoughts suffocating. I'm being stretched thin and...
    swimmingwolf0 swimmingwolf0 18-21, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    At sixteen I met my now husband and a few months after meeting got pregnant with our now 13 year old son. When I met my husband all those years ago I was heartbroken and sad over...
    truloveit84 truloveit84 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    Mother didn't raise any wimps. Kidzone in Fort Sill Oklahoma...now THAT was the children's paradise! It looks so gigantic in my mind, but that's probably because I was so much...
    1stepforward3shovesback 1stepforward3shovesback 16-17, M Sep 2

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    I forget the days as the nights close in they all seem to run together now. For reasons unknown to me the medication agreement I have accepted Has placed me in a mellow zone, free...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 6 days ago

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    It doesn't matter what the outcome is Just the way you reach your end game That's the most important step that can be achieved Don't pay attention to the naysayers that sit by the...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M Sep 11

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    Looming thought's yet to be processed have me considering ideas that shouldn't Why do these happen I don't know, my understanding is just that from where I sit I dwell On the...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 1 day ago

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    I really let myself go. I already shared an experience about my gain in my freshman year from pizza and beer. That left me 48lbs heavier than when I entered. I slowed down and only...
    foresty foresty 18-21, M 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Dreams of moments past are just that dreams Yet when they speak to you in volumes repetitively It's hard not to get lost in their meaning and story once more I see many a scenario...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M Sep 11

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    My story is that I have a sickness inside that I don't know how to make go away. It's hard to define this sickness other than a pervading poison that is eating me from the inside...
    Shellybelle Shellybelle 41-45, F 4 Responses Aug 26

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    Hi all  Yes, I was bullied, I’m 21 and guess what? I continue to be bullied. I won’t go into the details of my past but I’ll give you a summary. Bullied from school days...
    Larutan Larutan 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 10

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    Over the space of the first six months on EP, I became more "liberated" in myself. Avenues of my mind were suddenly opened to personal investigation, leading to outpourings of...
    uncfred uncfred 56-60, M 5 hrs ago

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    I hate myself for all the lies and deception I inflicted on my current boyfriend. I blame my family particularly. I am a cheater and this means I have broken my own value system. I...
    Deadlynightshade5 Deadlynightshade5 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    It's taken me until now to realise I was bullied by my mum. I started out on here with "I think my mum hates me"... but wow, I've filled a 100 page notebook with stuff she did in...
    rolledgoldboy rolledgoldboy 22-25 Aug 31

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    The cookie cutter regurgitated life that we all live Is just a moments notice from worlds final destruction Holding onto the hope that we can redeem our petty ignorance Washed up...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M Sep 10

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    The days are shortened by the ridiculous sleeping pattern Broken up by the even more disturbing dreams of late. Zombie motion and slow pounding of the pavement. I wander to a...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Especially when other people are in the picture. When others speak fondly of me, I get upset. I want them to just shut up, and that makes me feel like a bad person. Some days I...
    iKitKat iKitKat 18-21, F Sep 10

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    It took a long time for me to realize this but the first person who will help you live a full and happy life is in the mirror. Until I sought this person out and learned to love...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 29

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    If you finish reading this and provide advice, suggestions, or insight - I will think the world of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. So this is complicated and I'm not...
    CloseItForSure CloseItForSure 31-35, M 3 Responses Sep 2

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    Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is...
    SilverSearching SilverSearching 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 9

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    I have been bullied most my life. I was a very BIG child growing up and wore mostly my older brother's hand-me-down clothes. What most children don't understand is the fact my...
    airleas airleas 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 10

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    I have a friend, who I will call Melissa (not her real name) who has more than her share of challenges in life. I have known her most of my life as we attended the same grade...
    ginger1979 ginger1979 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 11

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    Typing with my right hand touching myself with my left - that's me now, that's me whilst I chat with you on EP. Join me!!
    Inspector999 Inspector999 46-50, M 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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