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I Was Raped and Feel Scared All the Time

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,003 People

    My Friend'S Dad

    It makes me so sad to look back at who I used to be. I mean yeah, I was probably naive, but I was 15, aren't you supposed to be? Growing up is supposed to be a gradual process, yet I had to grow up overnight. It was February the 3rd, 2012. My boyfriend had dumped me two months...
    delilahisabella delilahisabella 18-21 3 Responses Apr 3, 2013

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    Yup. I was raped this past November.

    I don't really want to go into much detail about it. But it was by three high schoolers. I feel different. I hate my body more and I feel like I'm always dirty because of it. But thank god I am not pregnant.
    Divergent0 Divergent0 13-15, F 15 Responses Jan 25, 2014

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    It's true. Judge me for it,

    I don't care. People don't realize how horrible it is mentally. It changed everything in your life. I couldn't sleep for months, I hope no one ever has to go through it, and if you have, I understand you 100%
    margaret707 margaret707 22-25, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    Lately, I find myself in

    that place again. I can feel it. I can hear them. I just picture myself begging her to wake up. Crying her name. And she doesn't move. I begged her for help. she didn't move. She was awake. She heard me crying for her. And she didn't move.
    mitted mitted 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    lydiasim2080 lydiasim2080 16-17, F Jan 16

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    7 days ago i was beaten an raped.

    ....i spent the time after it happened hiding under my bed crying an couldnt stop replaying wat happened in my mind everytime i close my eyes i see it an im so scared.......
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 18-21, M Feb 19

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    I Was Raped... And No One Knows.

    I was raped in January 2012. I am only thirteen. This is my story... Please dont judge me. I lost my virginity at age twelve. My boyfriend at the time kind of pressured me into sex in the summer of 2011. I did want to,, but I am young I wanted to wait more than anything. I...
    AnonymousShadow AnonymousShadow 13-15, F 37 Responses Jul 31, 2012

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    I have posted this before,

    but I am really upset over this once again and I guess I'm just looking for some advice or comfort. I have told few people about my experience and to be honest I just got the urge to let anyone know that I'm not okay. Last year I got raped. The only person who I feel...
    ohheycelia ohheycelia 18-21 1 Response Jan 14

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    i was raped by 7 people ,

    i'm so scared , i still remember being forced to get naked
    cheejean cheejean 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 16

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    Again

    He was here on Sunday and last night. And as I said before when he knocked I would answer. But, last night my 9 year old sister was home, too. I told her to lock herself in her room. She diddnt ask why she just did what I asked. When I thought she was safe I answered the door...
    Crazylover15 Crazylover15 18-21, F 10 Responses Jan 15, 2013

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    I was a virgin before it happened.

    He got mad at me for bleeding so much. He choked me until I passed out. I'm afraid to go to school because I have classes with him. Idk what to do anymore.
    thatgirlruth thatgirlruth 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    frankcarter770 frankcarter770 16-17, M 2 Responses Jan 3

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    How Much Was I Worth?

    Some writing from my blog www.diaryofabrokenchild.blogspot.com trigger warning for child sexual abuse. How much did they pay you daddy? How much was I worth? Was I a good girl, doing the things you had showed me since birth? You told me I was growing and said I was meant to...
    silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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    It's been over four years

    and I still have flashbacks to that terrible time. Four years.....four long years......I am healing, or at least that is what I tell myself. I am in college now and leading a fairly productive life....til another nightmare or flashback hits me. Then, it is all I can do to keep...
    survivorthrujesus survivorthrujesus 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 9

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    My boyfriend supports me

    so much. I love him. When I told him about finally reporting the man who hurt me he said, "Do the right thing (: it might make you happier in the long run(: *hugs*"
    ddc95 ddc95 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 22

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    My husband and I are trying to find some

    normalcy after what happened he wanted to watch special victims unit today on tv ugh I don't think I'm going to sleep well tonight I feel like complete crud right now I hate crying and never do but I just need a good cry I think right about now!
    Ana8939 Ana8939 22-25, F 6 Responses Feb 17

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    I Was Raped By My Stepdad

    Since i was 10 years old, my step-father has often raped me. the first time i tried to tell my mom about it, she told me that i was lying, that all i was doing was trying to run off another one of her boyfriends, both my parents would often beat us black and blue. When I as...
    firepanda firepanda 22-25, F 13 Responses Aug 14, 2011

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    I am 15 years old and

    when I was 13 my step dad raped me and it still going on. i didn't know what to do I cried, begged him to stop but he just wouldn't stop! I told my mum but she just called me a liar. It's all my fault I could of stopped him but I didn't everything is my fault.
    Arabellathebeautiful Arabellathebeautiful 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 25

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    From the time I was 4

    until the time I was 12, I was raped by my step grandfather...and I'm almost positive my grandmother knows... I just came out about what happened to me a year ago and I am severely struggling to recover. I suffer from night terrors and have to take sleeping meds to sleep...
    beautiuldisasterz9 beautiuldisasterz9 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    I Humbly Request Your Input

    It is difficult to ask this of a woman who has suffered through rape, but I'm not sure who better to ask for input. First, let me put this out there: I am a male. I am not looking to be turned on at the expense of your pain. So here's the situation. I am in the midst of writing...
    Sharpie7 Sharpie7 51-55, M 8 Responses Oct 18, 2012

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    Iv never done this before excuse the long story

    but I need to get every detail off my mind I have no One else to talk to I'm hoping some1 will understand I was on holiday when it happened to me the first night me and the girls got drunk at the hotel bar I drank too much I admit it but I usually always know what I'm doing but...
    Candlelight01 Candlelight01 22-25, F 10 Responses Apr 20, 2014

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    This is a poem I have written about my

    experience of betrayal by someone close to me. I hope it helps someone else trying to come to terms with fighting "The Monster" all of us face when we have experienced rape. The Monster A warm familiar voice A reassuring hug A glad smile And whiskers that brush my face...
    purplemessenger purplemessenger 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 22, 2014

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    The Tragedy, The Wreckage.

    It's been 4 years. 4 years since you've raped me. I can't look in the mirror without feeling disgusted. I can't sleep without seeing your face laughing at me. It disgusts me that you did this. It makes me want to puke. I have no hatred towards you. I just have questions...
    zbubbly603 zbubbly603 16-17, F 6 Responses Mar 3, 2014

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    I am currently 14, When I was about four I lost

    my mom in a vicious custody battle. I lived with my dad and did not see my mom at all. I met my grandparents a while before i lost my mom. A little time after, my grand father raped me. I don't remember much of what happened. I can't even tell you if he actually took my...
    RayneZ RayneZ 13-15, F 6 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    I was raped by my friend

    who goes to my school and he thinks nothing is wrong what should I do
    winstonhoward winstonhoward 13-15, M Feb 23

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    Raped!!! Me!!!

    Please write any questions and all reactions, whether kind or not. I want to know the reactions of others like me. I was sitting on a bench in the park when a man picked me up and threw me in a large white van. I blacked out and when I came to, I was strapped to a table with ten...
    sallie12345 sallie12345 13-15, F 10 Responses Mar 10, 2013

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    When I was 12, I was raped by a stranger.

    I'm 18 now & if I cant find happiness... I don't want to live anymore I feel like I don't deserve to be happy or that I even deserve to live. I constantly dwell about EVERYTHING I have ever screwed up, (even the stupid little things that everyone does from time to time, like...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Feb 7

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    I can't do anything,

    that man ruined my life, I hate him for that, I can never be normal because of him, and I will never forgive him, he hurt me in so many ways, and in some ways he still is, and I won't ever be able to forget that man, the man who I had to call daddy, the man who my Moyer married...
    lostgirl2001 lostgirl2001 13-15, F Jan 23

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    I Remember Too Much - Trigger Warning -

    Sometimes my brother needed to leave for several days at a time, often out wooing club owners on weekends to get them to give him a job, so he got one of his friends to stop over and stay with me. I was offended that he thinks I need a babysitter, but gave up on arguing with him...
    EmptyUnderMyHat EmptyUnderMyHat 16-17, F 4 Responses Feb 19, 2013

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    When I was younger (7) my cousin (9) began

    molesting me. He would do it every time I went over to my aunt aka his mothers house. My family are pretty close, and so I went there often, along with my other cousins. He would take me to private areas like his room or outside in the backyard and he would touch me...
    BVNG BVNG 13-15, F 6 Responses Jul 18, 2014

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    Why can't I just let go,

    why does it have to be so hard, I don't want nightmares and flashbacks, I don't want to smell him and feel his stale breath, I want my life back, but I can't have it, because the night he did it the first time he stole my whole life away from me.
    lostgirl2001 lostgirl2001 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 28

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    It's been six years, everyone keeps telling me

    to get over it. But when your only 6 and it happens every night for 3 years, it's kinda hard to just 'move on' or 'get over it' there's no getting over it. What my step-dad did will hunt me forever
    lostgirl2001 lostgirl2001 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    People think that time heals all wounds I was

    raped when I was 14 I'm 19 now and even know I have flashbacks or cry when I fall asleep thinking about it. Rapist don't realise that the act they did has a life time affect on the victim for me he was my boyfriend for others it could be a stranger and family member a neighbour...
    elizachloe06 elizachloe06 18-21, F Feb 14

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    I just found out my rapist had unblocked me on

    Facebook and he's been watching me. I'm beyond scared. I still haven't reported it. I got too scared. How can I tell my boyfriend the guys is watching me now. He'd do anything to protect me. I don't feel safe home... I don't feel safe anywhere :( I'm tired of all of this pain of...
    ddc95 ddc95 18-21, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    Okay I said it I was raped gang raped actually

    by 3 guys they also kicked punched me and i tried to fight back but i hav no strenght neither muscle im freakin skinny lanky and they putted a knife against my throat if i didnt behave that i will die and then this guy putted my pabts down and they were makin bets the freakin...
    xLittleRed xLittleRed 18-21, M 7 Responses Nov 28, 2013

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    Well if you read my previous post you would know

    that I was raped... Yes that monster is in prison but I'm scared when he gets out he is going to come looking for me... He calls my phone from the prison from time to time and iv never answered... I would change my number but I wanna no if he is still looking so tht way I know...
    xxNicholexx xxNicholexx 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 15, 2014

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    Help

    Help she screams but know one listens Help she cries but they ignore The door shuts tight On that unforgettable night He gets into her bed She lays there her clothes shed She cries until the pain is away And she wishes she was dead for a day Help she screams Life’s not what...
    wishme2death wishme2death 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 25, 2012

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    I was 10 and I'm 13 now.

    . It was Christmas and all of my family was at my Grandmas and all of is kids were playing outside... My grandma told us to come inside to eat and all the kids did but, my cousin asked if I wanted a ride on his back and I said yes. He took me behind the garage and he raped me...
    Jayjay10234 Jayjay10234 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    I've been reading many of these stories

    and my heart has absolutely broken. Please, please if you are raped or abused I am asking you to please call the police. It's not something that 'just happens' it is not something that you can just shrug off. It is a crime. A heinous, disgusting crime. You do not want to protect...
    mandamooki mandamooki 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 19, 2014

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    So he finally hurt another girl.

    I have tears in my eyes. He got an underage girl pregnant. I feel that if I would have reported it when he hurt me then she wouldn't have to go through this pain either. It's time for me to finally help her out and tell. I'm just so scared. I don't want to be hurt again.
    ddc95 ddc95 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 21

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    No matter how much I've healed the flashbacks

    to the bruises left down my spine and neck give me chills. It makes me cry to think of the purple marks on my thigh and wrist. I should be over it...but those memories ??
    ddc95 ddc95 18-21, F Feb 23

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    I'M Sick Of Being "The Victim"

    Alright guys prepare for a long story... Between 12-14 years old, I was raped on a daily basis by my moms boyfriend. Me and him were so close. He was like a father to me, and yet he totally took advantage of me at such a young age. He had a gun on him when it happened and told...
    seev4hn seev4hn 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    When I was 7 years old my father married a

    woman,she was very sweet and had two kids.A girl who was 6 and a boy who was 10. One day we were playing "school",my step brother told her to go get something for him.He came over to me and started touching me in strange places.At first,being so young I didn't understand,but I...
    TerraMeranda TerraMeranda 16-17, F 6 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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    Life After?

    I am a wife and a mother to 5 great kids. To avoid daycare costs my husband worked days for a distribution company and I worked nights at a gas station about 15 minutes from home.  There was many people to come in to my work.. some said hello and...
    lifeafter lifeafter 26-30, F 11 Responses Jun 1, 2007

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    Ripping Me Away

    She got stolen. Her only piece of life. Her identity. The monster took it away. There was no one to save her. The girl was trapped in the mirror. The monster tore apart her identity to shreds and all the girl could do was sit in silence and wait until the monster was done...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 18 Responses Jun 18, 2013

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    When I was 18 years old,

    I was raped. I have never really spoken of it before. One night, after the bar, completely intoxicated, me and my friend met a couple of English men. We had decided to go back to their hotel room. My friend ended up throwing up and fell asleep on the bathroom floor. Though I was...
    mitted mitted 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 22, 2014

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