I Was the Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,126 People

    and I don't like the person

    that I have become. Before I got myself in the situation I WAS in, I was a happy, God fearing and a faithful person. I used to love everything that I have and excited of God's plan in my life even if I've no idea what that is. But things changed and I didn't noticed it...
    Messymhe Messymhe
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 23

    Being The Other Woman

    I've been reading and reading and it sadly doesn't surprise me how judgmental some people can be, but on the flip side it doesn't surprise me to see kind words and encouragement. Being the other woman is probably the hardest life experience I've ever endured, yet somehow it...
    harderthanithought harderthanithought
    31-35, F
    12 Responses Jul 4, 2013

    I would like to thank

    whoever it was who encouraged me to start writing about my experience and feelings. I wish I could remember your name. Writing has been incredibly healing. I thought I was so far away from feeling the way I do now but I've had the best day yet, not long after having one of...
    v0lition v0lition
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Feb 11

    Today has been a terrible struggle to keep my

    head above water. I'm so sad that I have to begin living my life without the man that has been in my life for the last 30 years. It seems so foreign now that I have no desire to be with anyone. Yet I found this site because I was having an affair. I'm so mad at my ex mm for...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Mar 25

    Well, I've been seeing a therapist

    and reading the book Getting Past Your Break Up by Susan Elliott. The work is eye opening. If you are breaking up with a MM and seeing a therapist, I HIGHLY recommend adding this book to your repertoire in exploring the root cause of what drew you into an inappropriate...
    v0lition v0lition
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Feb 29

    I know from my own experience

    that married men don't always leave the wife. I am the wife. I found out two years ago my husband had an affair with some married woman that he met at our kids school. When I found out I gave my husband the option to leave. 50/50 with the kids and assets. I told him I didn't...
    Truthbetold81 Truthbetold81
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 26, 2015

    Although its been almost 2 years

    since we been together last I still think of you everyday It's okay tho. I know we will most likely not be together Anytime in the future ! But hey who knows what the future holds ! I like to think your happy . But your pictures I can sense sadness in your eyes ! The same...
    ifollowmyownstar ifollowmyownstar
    36-40, F
    Apr 22, 2014

    It's been 6 days , had to count today

    because normally by a few days I'd unblock him just to see if he'd contact me Proud to say he hasn't been unblocked and he won't be nor do I desire any sort of contact from him I really am done this time , and yes I've hurt, I've cried , I've ached and gone through all the...
    Ellen1503 Ellen1503
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jun 9, 2014

    I haven't been able to post anything lately.

    I haven't been strong enough. My husband lost his battle to cancer. He passed away on March 1. He was only 46 years young. I am emotionally drained.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    10 Responses Mar 3

    So I was having trouble sleeping again.

    Wednesday night I felt so overwhelmed and I didn't understand why. I thought maybe I needed to cry but my tears couldn't come out. It felt like a huge desperation inside to the point where I simply hugged myself and asked myself "what am I doing? What am I doing?" The next day...
    musicandnotes musicandnotes
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 12

    Well - from the Other Woman - to WAS the other

    woman ... after 14 years - It has been 6 months - I have never been so heart broken. It has been a struggle internally - but I FINALLY feel better. I don't know if I can do another relationship - at least not for a while. So much pain, but finally sleeping again. It's funny, I...
    kitty1958 kitty1958
    56-60, F
    4 Responses Sep 20, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 10, 2015

    I have never related

    so much to a song.... I'd encourage everyone to look up the lyrics to Jennifer Nettles "Unlove You". Very powerful and speaks soooo much to my situation...
    Priscillacrush Priscillacrush
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 28

    I Leave You To Be Married

    I wonder, as I am reading an email from MM and he is telling me that he just wants me. How does he still come up with those words?? We haven't seen each other for awhile yet he still feels the need. It's not as if we were ever in a place where I wanted him to leave his family...
    quietstorm48 quietstorm48
    46-50, F
    3 Responses May 28, 2013

    Two years ago, I became best friends with a

    married woman I would babysit/nanny for. Mid thirties, in great shape; she was like a big sister to me. We would go shopping and she would buy me clothes even. I felt she was coming on to me but didn't think much of it. Well, one day we shared a dressing room to try some new...
    emmsbody emmsbody
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Nov 9, 2014

    6 years ago. When he finally left his wife I

    thought this was it. Now we have our chance. I was very wrong and stupid. Fast forward to now we have 2.5 year old. Now I'm stuck with the real him. Selfish vindictive spiteful. Used my son against me a few times because I do not want to be with him anymore. He's a bully. These...
    nikifox nikifox
    31-35
    2 Responses Nov 8, 2014

    I Was Their Nanny

    Please don't judge me, I already know I did wrong. I was 19 when I went to England to work as a nanny for a loving family in a small village. He was 39, his wife was 42. She was lovely, had a great sense of humour and just made anyone love her. She was a make up artist and went...
    isybusy isybusy
    22-25, F
    11 Responses Dec 23, 2012

    It's coming up on two long months

    since it's been over. Some days I don't even think of him very often. I stay busy, go to sleep early, wake up and do it again. Other days I pray to hear from him, hoping that he can't be this cruel. I still can't believe it's over sometimes. That after two beautiful years full...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Oct 25, 2015

    Well hey....i hope i do not get judge here.

    ..i was not with my partner, but i was talking to this one guy that has a girlfriend. little back story him and i used to work together, and during the time we worked together, we had a little fling.... i was single he was not. i must say things got to the point where him and i...
    Monkey11613 Monkey11613
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Mar 15

    I am feeling so down today.

    I am trying to fight this emotions but it's bringing me down. I've been thinking about him since we last talked 2 days ago. He wanted to see me again, I asked him if it's worth going through the same situation that we've been through, i told him that his gf is gonna find out...
    Ladyheart2016 Ladyheart2016
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 3

    Yeah, other than my ex

    when I was 19, I don't sleep with married men long enough to be the "other woman". It's usually just the one night (or two). Not all of them are that as great in bed as they claim, anyway.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jun 16, 2015

    He is in Japan witn wifey.

    We are not in contact for merely 8 months.. When i saw his loving pic with wife i wonder if he ever think of me..
    25minutestoolate 25minutestoolate
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Apr 11

    It's been hard tonight.

    I feel tired. That's all. Tired of what has been of my life recently. Tired of chasing and chasing and then now I'm actually just tired. I don't want to chase. I think about my time as an other woman. I miss him. But I don't miss being the other woman. I don't miss the left...
    musicandnotes musicandnotes
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Mar 10

    I was the other woman 15 years ago to a man I

    desperately loved. It ended, neither of us wanted that. 2 months ago we got in contact, now I am the other woman again to the same man. At what point do you let go? It's not fair to have the right man in the wrong time,...
    kelpezz kelpezz
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Mar 22

    I wonder if any other women struggle in finding

    their voice when it comes to questioning their MM. I have all of these thoughts that i want to discuss with him, but dont know how to bring it up to him. Maybe its as simple as asking him if he thinks theres a time for us in the future when we'll actually be together. I worry...
    otherwoman2015 otherwoman2015
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Apr 3

    I was the other woman unknowingly at first &

    all it got me was pain,heartache,lies,deciet,low self esteem & for my loyalty I got called every nasty name in the book & horrible things said to me for doing the right thing & ending it. I loved him unconditionally & I'll miss what we had at one time, but too much has been said...
    Lovingmyselffirst Lovingmyselffirst
    41-45, F
    Apr 22, 2014

    Tomorrow will be one month of not seeing him

    physically. We talked once a week for 5 mins or less. I tried to do NC last week but I failed, i called him Thurs and he talked to me like a friend. Distant and cold but says he misses me and thinks about me. He asked if he can see me one day, i said ok. He told me he'll call me...
    Ladyheart2016 Ladyheart2016
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 26

    I'm so tired of being alone.

    I'm angry at myself for giving him this power Over me. I can't seen to get over him. I don't know how. The pain is just to much. I can't keep this up.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    7 Responses Nov 11, 2015

    I slept with my first married man

    when I was 19. My ex boyfriend from freshman year got married to his senior year sweetheart. Two weeks into his marriage, we reconnected and slept together. I knew it couldn't last. He was a very sensual man, and I desired it so much. After two months, we ended it. We had...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jun 11, 2015

    I had my husband's service this past Weekend.

    It turned out to be gorgeous outside and a wonderful celebration of my husband's life. Now most my family and friends have headed home. It was so endearing to have their support and love with us during this celebration of his life. Yet bittersweet to have them leave for their...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 22

    Ex-mm texted last week

    for the first time in more than a month. I didn't reply at first, and he asked if that was the way I wanted it to end, by not speaking to him. And then, 'two roads diverged,' and I had a choice to make. In case you didn't pick up on the Robert Frost reference, that was a...
    ashadams244 ashadams244
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 7

    This really hit the nail on the head!

    Grief ends - hang in there and DO YOUR WORK! XO
    kitty1958 kitty1958
    56-60, F
    Feb 28

    Thank you to all that wrote on my last post.

    I've made the decision to move on. Texting with him today just made me realize that that's the only thing I'm left to do. He told me that we weren't gonna talk like before. That he was setting boundaries. I was thinking we could keep talking like before and not have...
    musicandnotes musicandnotes
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 6

    I need your opinions pls!

    !!! I saw this guy today after over a month of not seeing each other. My feelings was starting to fade slowly, I wasn't that excited to see him anymore. The love making was still amazing, but i kept my emotions unattached. So after we had sex he spent the 3 hours asleep while i...
    Ladyheart2016 Ladyheart2016
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 5

    based on things he's confided to me about other

    women in his life, his wife, his mother, his aunt, his first affair partner (I was special he told me🌟 with a gold star), I should've known that it would only be a matter of time before I enter that category of woman who does nothing but cause him stress, is so mean to him...
    v0lition v0lition
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 8

    I made my decision today.

    After so many years. To cut contact with xmm. We've been "apart" for nearly 3y now. He's been calling, always on his terms, whenever his wife is not around. We've chatted, laughed, cried and shared with fondness and love since he decided not to leave, turning us into a...
    marmelade marmelade
    51-55, F
    12 Responses Mar 8

    I have shared my stories in I AM THE OTHER

    WOMAN SECTION AND NOW HERE... I was the other woman for 2 1/2 years. It has been 1 year, 1 month and 20 days since our last words. My life is so much better, actually I am at the best time in my life. I am in love with a wonderful man, I just bought a house, I have a great...
    daisydew1973 daisydew1973
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Sep 20, 2015

    I haven't posted in a while

    but I just wanted to update everyone on my situation. So it's been over 5 months since things ended and I feel good. Not to say that it was an easy 5 months, I definitely had my low point but I saw the end. Since things got exposed he broke up with his girl but I knew us getting...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 26, 2014

    I work with this guy before.

    We never really talk or became close at work. But we often catch each others stares. He found another job and before he left we exchange numbers. I didnt know he has a gf until we became friends in FB (i saw photos) he then confessed. My intention was just to be friends with him...
    Ladyheart2016 Ladyheart2016
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 22

    To all other women/past other women: I am

    happy to say I've moved on. A few days ago I saw him and it was the most awkward and heartbreaking experience. I haven't seen him in months and I suddenly run into him. I was stunned naturally and I can see he was too. We just stared at each other for minute unsure of what to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 15, 2014

    I am laying in my bed feeling alone.

    Thinking about what I have been through the past few months. I can still the pain in my heart but not as bad anymore, it's now tolerable. I remember the happiness this man brought to my life even for a short period of time. I never thought I will ever fall in love and feel loved...
    Ladyheart2016 Ladyheart2016
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 31

    We just stopped talking.

    This is not unusual as he had disappeared a few times in the past, but it still hurts me each and every time. Is this the typical way the MM ends things? Just radio silence?
    solost17 solost17
    41-45, F
    1 Response Apr 17

    One year ago today, we agreed to NC.

    I still think of him every.single.day. I know I will never again find a love so deep and passionate, but I also know I will never find a love so beautifully painful. I wonder if he knows it's been a year...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Jul 10, 2015

    So a little update. My ex mm had told me

    that he wanted to stay away. We kept talking about it and his way of doing that is by taking 2 days 3 days in between of each conversation which was honestly upsetting me. I know no one Forces me to deal with this but I obviously don't want to stop talking to me. I texted him...
    musicandnotes musicandnotes
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Mar 5

    Well - ladies - WHAT an incredible journey it

    has been! We now have to part our support and advice arena. Honestly - I do not know what I would have done without this group. Trying to understand and get through such an awful situation in my life, and many others - and knowing we were not alone and could ask the question...
    kitty1958 kitty1958
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Mar 24

    I feel so stupid and i really regretted it.

    I don't know why I texted him this afternoon. Not because I miss him or something, I just had the urge to tell him I miss him and see if he will reply.. and he did. Now I'm sucked back into my emotions. We exchanged messages, first it was about how we both missed each other, then...
    Ladyheart2016 Ladyheart2016
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 1

    I used to be TURKEY6 previously on this board

    but I deactivated for almost a year. I was the other woman in a strange tumultuous relationship for 2 years (off and on). We haven't spoken since about July of this year after a particularly nasty fight. He called me a name that I can't accept and I retaliated by saying the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 30, 2014

    Things to consider about affairs.

    Most never leave the marriage. You can do the research. Even if they do leave the marriage, only 3-5% of relationships that began as affairs end up in marriage. There is a 75% divorce rate for marriages that began as affairs. There are many more problems faced by a couple...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Dec 15, 2013

    I was the other woman

    and I loved it. It was invigorating, erotic, exciting, and made me feel ALIVE.
    Priscillacrush Priscillacrush
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Mar 22

    I have come to the realization

    that him and I are definitely over. And I think I'm finally okay with that. We talk...one a week or twice. Yesterday we did...and as we were talking I asked if his wife left him would he come try it with me. He then said "probably Not. Because you're who I messed up with and...
    musicandnotes musicandnotes
    22-25, F
    6 Responses Mar 25

    For anyone who is looking

    for an alternative site like EP after next month, please check out http://www.relatetothat.com It's not as established like EP, but at least it's kind of similar, where we can find & form support groups. I will miss EP & most definitely miss all the kind souls here. Thank you...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 24

    I Want To Know?

    I never thought of myself as the other woman until recently, maybe as I am married too. I had lots of major traumas in my life and a husband of many years who does not emotionally connect with me and could not support me through the traumas. I fell in love with my MM, truly...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    9 Responses Oct 26, 2013

    2008

    This was the year that my life truly started I believe. I was working as a private photographer and was hired by a woman to photograph her family's Christmas party. When I arrived, she was very very bitchy and expected me to do more then what she'd hired me for. Shortly after...
    FreyaQ FreyaQ
    31-35, F
    1 Response Nov 24, 2013

    Question: do any of you women feel like a

    failure once it ends? Almost like he's sitting back with his wife laughing at how stupid i was for believing his lies? My Ex-mm and his wife are wealthy, successful, have two "perfect" daughters who get whatever they want and need while I live paycheck to paycheck, struggle to...
    prprincess41 prprincess41
    41-45, F
    8 Responses May 5, 2015

    Since my H passed away on March 1,

    my Ex-MM contacted me that he heard about my loss and that he was sorry. It was weird to hear from him. In the back of my head I wonder if it's his wife reaching out to me, as him. I'm 99% sure it's him but my defense are up. No strong crazy feels came up texting him. It was...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Mar 17
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