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I Was the Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 969 People

    Things to consider about affairs.

    Most never leave the marriage. You can do the research. Even if they do leave the marriage, only 3-5% of relationships that began as affairs end up in marriage. There is a 75% divorce rate for marriages that began as affairs. There are many more problems faced by a couple...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I hate the weekends when I know i won't hear

    from him. Every song on the radio reminds me of him. I have these thoughts in my head, wondering what he's doing, is he having sex with his wife, if he is, wondering if he ever thinks of me. I can't get him out of my head or out of my heart. And it's breaking into and I think I...
    Blueeyes65 Blueeyes65 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 10

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    *sigh* Three weeks without him.

    It still seems so surreal that he is no longer in my life. I did the "right" thing. I walked away from the deepest love I have ever felt all because he is married. And in his absence, all I feel is Emptiness Sadness Failure I failed. Funny how as the OW, I feel failure. I...
    insouciant1 insouciant1 41-45, F 5 Responses Apr 23

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    Obviously, I am too trusting.

    I realize now that I have been the OW more than once...I just never got so deeply involved with any of the others, and with two of them, I didn't even know until well after it was all over with. I got married right out of high school and stayed married into my early thirties...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 3

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    He Died In My Arms

    He Died In My Arms. Posted February 10th, 2012 at 9:12AM We met a little over a year ago...instant attraction both physical and emotional. Our bond grew with each passing day talking for hours when possible, sharing what was happening in each others lives....kids, grandkids no...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Feb 10, 2012

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    I Fell Into The Trap Of A Married Man

    There is no good thing about an affair, unless you are not in love with the person. You can easily rid yourself of them. Jealousy, pain and loneliness is not worth ruining a marriage. If I could go back and change it, I definitely would. Married men just want you at first, then...
    LittleEdithBeale LittleEdithBeale 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    Ok, I admit it, sometimes I am just an *******!

    lol ExAP has been crying to me a lot here lately about feeling so stuck and helpless in his situation; and I keep telling him the same thing in different ways, that if he does nothing to fix his situation, then it will not get fixed because others are content to sit back and...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F Oct 6

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    I Will Never Be Again

    He said he loved me for about a month, and that he loved me more than he loved her, till I went crazy jealous because he would not leave her. He admitted he didn't love me anymore after that, but that he still cared. I was still in love or thought I was anyways. I am terrible...
    jlimones jlimones 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2013

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    A little vent/update.

    .. (1) Well, exAP certainly didn't get what he wanted for his birthday. He put in a real concerted effort to seduce me into phone sex if not an actual visit; but that's just not happening. I can't go back there for a multitude of reasons, the very top reason being that I am now...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F Sep 26

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    Well he finally left

    but the pain of being away from his children and the pain of his family disown him has taken a toll on him. It's only been three days but he is already thinking about running home because he misse shis kids. His wife wants him back home and I don't hate or blame her. All my...
    timesalmostup timesalmostup 36-40, F Sep 25

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    I Want To Know?

    I never thought of myself as the other woman until recently, maybe as I am married too. I had lots of major traumas in my life and a husband of many years who does not emotionally connect with me and could not support me through the traumas. I fell in love with my MM, truly...
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    My ex MM had his big art show opening in London

    last weekend. He was written about in the Huffington Post. He is about to become very wealthy and famous. I'm happy for him. However, even though we have had no contact for about a month, hearing about him from friends, etc has triggered my feelings of missing him. So, this...
    nycgrrrl nycgrrrl 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 13

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    we were together for 7 months

    and I decided to end things 2 months ago. There were so many empty promises and it was mentally exhausting. We decided straight up that although we have feelings for eachother we would wait a few months to work things out with our partners and go from there. I ended things with...
    katie39 katie39 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 23

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    It's been 6 days , had to count today

    because normally by a few days I'd unblock him just to see if he'd contact me Proud to say he hasn't been unblocked and he won't be nor do I desire any sort of contact from him I really am done this time , and yes I've hurt, I've cried , I've ached and gone through all the...
    Ellen1503 Ellen1503 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 9

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    Yesterday, after a year,

    I ended it with my MM. There was no drama. We both knew that it couldn't last forever, even though we fantasized several times about being together. There are lots of reasons it probably wouldn't work between us: the age difference, our lifestyle differences, our religious...
    Crazy4Rn Crazy4Rn 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Although its been almost 2 years

    since we been together last I still think of you everyday It's okay tho. I know we will most likely not be together Anytime in the future ! But hey who knows what the future holds ! I like to think your happy . But your pictures I can sense sadness in your eyes ! The same...
    ifollowmyownstar ifollowmyownstar 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 22

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    I Was Their Nanny

    Please don't judge me, I already know I did wrong. I was 19 when I went to England to work as a nanny for a loving family in a small village. He was 39, his wife was 42. She was lovely, had a great sense of humour and just made anyone love her. She was a make up artist and went...
    isybusy isybusy 22-25, F 12 Responses Dec 23, 2012

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    I was the other woman unknowingly at first &

    all it got me was pain,heartache,lies,deciet,low self esteem & for my loyalty I got called every nasty name in the book & horrible things said to me for doing the right thing & ending it. I loved him unconditionally & I'll miss what we had at one time, but too much has been said...
    Lovingmyselffirst Lovingmyselffirst 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 22

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    I met my ex 3 years ago

    and all he kept talking about was breaking up with his sons mom of 13 yrs. seeing that he told me that they were through, and that she was looking for a place to stay, I took that as the green light. She ended up leaving 3 months after that so you'd think I'd be happy. After...
    medinagrl medinagrl 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 22

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    Our Story

    I no longer live in his heart....so there is no need to wake in his world. Our story is complete. The pages are written. It is filled with love, heartache and triumph, happiness, erotic sensuality and undying emotions. It is our love story. You and me. Our breathtaking magical...
    quietstorm48 quietstorm48 46-50, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2013

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    I do not love you as

    if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers...
    emadelemur emadelemur 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 10

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    Ahhhh 😁😊😅 Well everyone at work was

    rooting for me and the new super hot guy at work to talk to each other , people were telling him to come talk to me and people were telling me to go up to him and talk to him ..... Lol So he knew I was interested and I assumed he was interested Well after my second break I...
    Ellen1503 Ellen1503 22-25, F 3 Responses May 23

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    Still painful sometimes.

    I still cry. I miss him. Accepting that i could no longer be with him is painful. They broke up a month ago, and then they are back again. I could have taken him if they were officially over. Its so painful. I applaud the other women out there for being patient with their man...
    AtPeaceEros AtPeaceEros 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 3

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    Here are things I learned

    while I was the other woman. 1. It does not look pretty from the outside. - I recently watched a movie where a man was cheating and it was hard to watch since in was in the same situation BUT it just looked bad. I felt from the wife/girlfriend, I felt for the other woman and...
    stella517 stella517 26-30, F 7 Responses May 28

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    After he chose to be with her

    and we moved on our separate ways, he is back again. Begging to take ma back. He finally left her. For the past 3 weeks my phone was full of calls from unregistered numbers. Telling he i will be killed or skinned alive or to tell me they ( i think its just a she) know where i...
    AtPeaceEros AtPeaceEros 31-35, F 3 Responses Sep 15

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    I'm trying not to get my hopes up,

    but you know how that goes. He told me in our long text last night that he wanted to try and see me. it'll break my heart if he doesnt. He is the one who mentioned it, so there may be hope. I pray to God that there is, I miss him so much.
    Blueeyes65 Blueeyes65 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 29

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    It's been 2 years and 5 months

    since I last heard from the married man I was seeing. He got scared when I found out I was pregnant and ran back to his wife and cut all communications after being with me for almost 3 years. I had to find out from his sister that he decided to end things. I didn't really get a...
    TemptingLust TemptingLust 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 5

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    To all other women/past other women: I am

    happy to say I've moved on. A few days ago I saw him and it was the most awkward and heartbreaking experience. I haven't seen him in months and I suddenly run into him. I was stunned naturally and I can see he was too. We just stared at each other for minute unsure of what to...
    stella517 stella517 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 15

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    I haven't posted in a while

    but I just wanted to update everyone on my situation. So it's been over 5 months since things ended and I feel good. Not to say that it was an easy 5 months, I definitely had my low point but I saw the end. Since things got exposed he broke up with his girl but I knew us getting...
    stella517 stella517 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 26

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    Being The Other Woman

    I've been reading and reading and it sadly doesn't surprise me how judgmental some people can be, but on the flip side it doesn't surprise me to see kind words and encouragement. Being the other woman is probably the hardest life experience I've ever endured, yet somehow it...
    harderthanithought harderthanithought 31-35, F 13 Responses Jul 4, 2013

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    After Leigh told us that her MM had passed away

    and how she hoped he had cleared his phone...and foreverwanting more shared that her OM's GF found pitures in his phone resulting in a D-day; I got to thinking about my own phone. I'm not in my "affair" anymore, and I am newly married to someone other than my exAP. But, I have...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F Sep 16

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    I miss my mm a lot ..

    . He broke up with me 5months ago and I keep thinking about him .. cry a lot .. I miss him very much ..
    Pocarii Pocarii 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 13

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    Does anyone of u ladies still have to see your

    MM even though it's over? OR work, live close to? Each time I gone in my kitchen looked out window over at his. I really not sure how to cope. Any advice please
    stupid28 stupid28 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 17

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    It didn't work out. I don't "pay enough

    attention" to him. My response? Well, we aren't 6 years old anymore, so grow up. It hurt a bit, but I've been through worse. Fast forward two months....he tells me it was a mistake. Mistake my @**! Move around!!! I stay plenty busy with my stuff. I don't need to be with...
    Doodles2008 Doodles2008 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 9

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    Today is my exAP's birthday.

    I spoke to him last night before I went to bed; wished him a happy birthday and asked if he had anything planned. This is his 6th birthday since he came back into my life, and he knows that I feel birthdays should be treated as special, but as always it's just another day on the...
    dropdeadredhead dropdeadredhead 36-40, F Sep 19

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    I Leave You To Be Married

    I wonder, as I am reading an email from MM and he is telling me that he just wants me. How does he still come up with those words?? We haven't seen each other for awhile yet he still feels the need. It's not as if we were ever in a place where I wanted him to leave his family...
    quietstorm48 quietstorm48 46-50, F 3 Responses May 28, 2013

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    That's it. After nearly 3 long years of a

    roller coaster ride, ups downs, highs, lows. Lots of good times but more upset and heartbreak than you would imagine. It's over. I am set free from this situation completely. No contact no more false hopes nothing. I pick myself up and my life starts now. I will never ever be...
    CastNoShadows CastNoShadows 26-30, F 12 Responses Jul 25

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    celticwarrior96 celticwarrior96 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 17

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    Can a mind expanded ever go back to it's

    original dimensions? Surely not, but how to cope knowing what you now know, but living in limbo between the two? If someone could possibly answer me this. In short, how to stop with the comparisons between what you had, what you know and what you now have sexually. I want to...
    emadelemur emadelemur 26-30, F Sep 17

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    Couldn't Take It Anymore...

    We met online but had so many connections it just seemed natural that our friendship developed into a relationship. I knew from the very beginning that he had a girlfriend but he always swore he was miserable with her and was going to break up with her because he loved me and...
    kzoodiana kzoodiana 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 10, 2012

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    Women And Men

    I wanted to share some basic thoughts I have because I feel that men are suffering as much as we are in some form. One thing that we should realize is that human emotions are real even for men. But they ARE able to compartmentalize. They just are. And we have to except that...
    quietstorm48 quietstorm48 46-50, F 5 Responses Jun 3, 2013

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    2008

    This was the year that my life truly started I believe. I was working as a private photographer and was hired by a woman to photograph her family's Christmas party. When I arrived, she was very very bitchy and expected me to do more then what she'd hired me for. Shortly after...
    FreyaQ FreyaQ 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2013

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    Omg!!! I had to block ANOTHER #

    that he was calling from!! Hes still with his gf!!! Anyone else had to go through this? Why wont he leave me alone??? #soaggravating
    Doodles2008 Doodles2008 36-40, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Young And Caught Under His Spell

    Never in my life have I been in love. I'm to young for that. I am a good person, I never really get into any trouble. I am helpful, loving and kind. I am a respectful young girl with a promising future. Or I was. I went to the beach this summer on the east coast to work. I got a...
    LostLittleLadyBug LostLittleLadyBug 18-21, F 25 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    I had this MM who did everything

    for me without missing out in much with his family. On my birthday one year he got us a Jacuzzi suite at a nice hotel but then found out his daughter's dance recital was that same night. So he picked me up in the afternoon and took me to the room. He had been there already and...
    nvragain1024 nvragain1024 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 10

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    Asheera123 Asheera123 41-45, F 6 Responses Oct 5

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    It started out as a simple request

    for a massage. I'm not a masseuse. He knew me through work at a summer job this year. He was just looking for someone attractive and discreet, and with beautiful hands. He offered me extra money. We always did a massage session while his wife was out. Back massages turned...
    JessicaXbunny JessicaXbunny 18-21, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Two years ago, I became best friends with a

    married woman I would babysit/nanny for. Mid thirties, in great shape; she was like a big sister to me. We would go shopping and she would buy me clothes even. I felt she was coming on to me but didn't think much of it. Well, one day we shared a dressing room to try some new...
    emmsbody emmsbody 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 9

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    The only contact I have received from him

    several weeks ago was asking me not to respond to any contact from his wife. I respected his wishes when she contacted me and said that she prayed for me to find happiness in my life and not steal it from others. My intentions were not to steal happiness from her. Does she...
    Asheera123 Asheera123 41-45, F 2 Responses Oct 20

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    I Did It...

    I ended it. I didn't hear from him for several days, then he calls me yesterday as if nothing is wrong. I just realized that for 15 months, this has been entirely on HIS TERMS and that's not acceptable to me anymore. With Christmas and New Years coming, who will he be with...his...
    tallngreeneyed tallngreeneyed 46-50 11 Responses Dec 21, 2011

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    Read somewhere today

    that some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go... Kind of comforting
    emadelemur emadelemur 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 28

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