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I Was the Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,046 People

    When I was a teenager; young

    and completely stupid! And it usually does not end well. I have certainly learned from that mistake! I am a better person today because of it. Circumstances really do make us what we are...
    FelicitySmoak FelicitySmoak 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 23

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    Couldn't Take It Anymore...

    We met online but had so many connections it just seemed natural that our friendship developed into a relationship. I knew from the very beginning that he had a girlfriend but he always swore he was miserable with her and was going to break up with her because he loved me and...
    kzoodiana kzoodiana 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 10, 2012

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    I still smell you on my pillows.

    Twenty day pass, and I thought the smell would be gone by now. Thought the distance would make me forget you, forget us, forget those moments we spent intertwined. In every inch of this apartment a memory. I remember your face while you entered thru the door, how you smiled, and...
    YankeesOTW YankeesOTW 26-30 3 Responses Mar 19

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    Opinion. If your ex-mm works out at the same gym

    as you, would you stop going? He's a creature of habit so he goes at the same time every night and I would be out of there before he gets there. Chances of us seeing each other would be slim and even if we did, I wouldn't care but I know it might be awkward especially if he...
    Radiantlovingwoman Radiantlovingwoman 41-45, F 4 Responses May 12

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    kathrineh kathrineh 46-50, F 1 Response May 10

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    I ended things with this mm

    but we live so close to each other. So it's been hard to not see him. But we do still talk and last time was in the park. He had this grin on his face and he came over to me. We talked but I do think he seeing another woman. Not sure weather he lives there still not seen him...
    stupid28 stupid28 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    I haven't posted in a while

    but I just wanted to update everyone on my situation. So it's been over 5 months since things ended and I feel good. Not to say that it was an easy 5 months, I definitely had my low point but I saw the end. Since things got exposed he broke up with his girl but I knew us getting...
    stella517 stella517 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    So this is it... My first post in the "WAS"

    section... I have now ended the "affair" and I haven't seen him in 2 weeks. He was begging me to see him at the weekend. It took a lot, but I refused. He asked why I won't see him as friends, he still wants me in his life etc, he can't live without me. This enraged me for...
    DefinitelyDollie DefinitelyDollie 22-25, F 3 Responses May 12

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    I was the other woman,

    for several months, it ended on Christmas Eve after I ended it and she found out about us. You will always be the bad guy, and let's be honest, you are, you need to stay away from married men. Whenever people said this to me while I was seeing MM, my vision was clouded, I...
    meredithgreyxo meredithgreyxo 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    Here are things I learned

    while I was the other woman. 1. It does not look pretty from the outside. - I recently watched a movie where a man was cheating and it was hard to watch since in was in the same situation BUT it just looked bad. I felt from the wife/girlfriend, I felt for the other woman and...
    stella517 stella517 26-30, F 5 Responses May 28, 2014

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    I've been with a lot of men

    or women who were already in relationships, and I know I've probably caused fights and breakups. I feel so guilty about it. Sometimes I'm just too much of a wh-ore to be a good person :/
    KittyCunt KittyCunt 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    As people always say,

    it's a long story which ended almost 3 weeks ago. We're getting along quite well on a long distance relationship. Iā€™m married, he lives with her girlfriend and has been cheating on her even since she became accidentally pregnant. That's 7 years ago. He shared and trusted me...
    lenamar2007 lenamar2007 31-35, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    No matter what happened.

    Even though he went back to his family. I still think my man is a great guy. I wish him happiness. I wish myself a new relationship with a single man soon / someday. Maybe someone like him. But single. I still miss him everyday. And i know i still love him. (Sigh) but what can...
    AtPeaceEros AtPeaceEros 31-35, F Jul 13, 2014

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    Would like the opinions

    and Im open to all opinions not just my own about LOVE, LUST and Obsession in affairs. Just curious how different people view this? Now in my opinion an affair of any sort is something like a drug. Everyone knows its bad for them and can cause considerable damage yet some get...
    SarahV6 SarahV6 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 22

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    I used to be TURKEY6 previously on this board

    but I deactivated for almost a year. I was the other woman in a strange tumultuous relationship for 2 years (off and on). We haven't spoken since about July of this year after a particularly nasty fight. He called me a name that I can't accept and I retaliated by saying the...
    tinyivory tinyivory 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    Ahhhh šŸ˜šŸ˜ŠšŸ˜… Well everyone at work was

    rooting for me and the new super hot guy at work to talk to each other , people were telling him to come talk to me and people were telling me to go up to him and talk to him ..... Lol So he knew I was interested and I assumed he was interested Well after my second break I...
    Ellen1503 Ellen1503 22-25, F 2 Responses May 23, 2014

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    I Leave You To Be Married

    I wonder, as I am reading an email from MM and he is telling me that he just wants me. How does he still come up with those words?? We haven't seen each other for awhile yet he still feels the need. It's not as if we were ever in a place where I wanted him to leave his family...
    quietstorm48 quietstorm48 46-50, F 3 Responses May 28, 2013

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    Today I saw this MM that I had a thing with

    last year. We had a talk he asked how I was etc. I am still getting over the flu. He seemed quite concerned. He was very serious at first. He asked after my son if I got a job now. I did not ask him much about his kids etc. I just said bet your happy you driving again and if he...
    stupid28 stupid28 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    it's been almost two months

    since my MM went back to his wife. I have started therapy. which I highly recommend to every woman that has ever suffered through the highs and lows of being in love with a man. I have slowly begun to heal and move on with my life. I have discovered that I was wrapped around his...
    justagirl44 justagirl44 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 10

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    Last year met a married man at first we were

    friend and and then lovers. I tell him it's over and walked away although we do close to each a bit hard to not see him, wife and kids. Just a matter of time before I do have a conversation with is wife because his son knows me. I use to go to his and his son was there. A bit...
    stupid28 stupid28 31-35, F Mar 29

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    libby59 libby59 46-50 1 day ago

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    Yeah, other than my ex

    when I was 19, I don't sleep with married men long enough to be the "other woman". It's usually just the one night (or two). Not all of them are that as great in bed as they claim, anyway.
    amyadventurous amyadventurous 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    I had an affair with a man I worked with

    for three years. I knew he was married at the outset, but it was a "loveless marriage" and he was "going to get a divorce." Of course, that never happened. For all those years I did everything he asked, usually sexually, and then he would leave and go home to her. When she...
    point2thesky point2thesky 56-60, M 1 Response Feb 12

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    I Want To Know?

    I never thought of myself as the other woman until recently, maybe as I am married too. I had lots of major traumas in my life and a husband of many years who does not emotionally connect with me and could not support me through the traumas. I fell in love with my MM, truly...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    Things to consider about affairs.

    Most never leave the marriage. You can do the research. Even if they do leave the marriage, only 3-5% of relationships that began as affairs end up in marriage. There is a 75% divorce rate for marriages that began as affairs. There are many more problems faced by a couple...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I was the other woman unknowingly at first &

    all it got me was pain,heartache,lies,deciet,low self esteem & for my loyalty I got called every nasty name in the book & horrible things said to me for doing the right thing & ending it. I loved him unconditionally & I'll miss what we had at one time, but too much has been said...
    Lovingmyselffirst Lovingmyselffirst 36-40, F Apr 22, 2014

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    Being The Other Woman

    I've been reading and reading and it sadly doesn't surprise me how judgmental some people can be, but on the flip side it doesn't surprise me to see kind words and encouragement. Being the other woman is probably the hardest life experience I've ever endured, yet somehow it...
    harderthanithought harderthanithought 31-35, F 13 Responses Jul 4, 2013

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    I came across this article

    and thought it was eye opening. http://www.yourtango.com/2015259034/five-brutal-truths-i-want-my-husbands-mistress-to-know
    justagirl44 justagirl44 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 14

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    To all other women/past other women: I am

    happy to say I've moved on. A few days ago I saw him and it was the most awkward and heartbreaking experience. I haven't seen him in months and I suddenly run into him. I was stunned naturally and I can see he was too. We just stared at each other for minute unsure of what to...
    stella517 stella517 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2014

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    I find it all ironic.

    My MM shared with me details, thoughts, hopes and dreams he never would share with his own wife. Why? Because I'm the one who gets him and in his own words, "loved him and treated him better than his own wife or mother". When his wife found out about us the first and second...
    Mizzery101 Mizzery101 36-40, M 5 Responses Jun 13

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    Young And Caught Under His Spell

    Never in my life have I been in love. I'm to young for that. I am a good person, I never really get into any trouble. I am helpful, loving and kind. I am a respectful young girl with a promising future. Or I was. I went to the beach this summer on the east coast to work. I got a...
    LostLittleLadyBug LostLittleLadyBug 18-21, F 25 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    Question: do any of you women feel like a

    failure once it ends? Almost like he's sitting back with his wife laughing at how stupid i was for believing his lies? My Ex-mm and his wife are wealthy, successful, have two "perfect" daughters who get whatever they want and need while I live paycheck to paycheck, struggle to...
    Radiantlovingwoman Radiantlovingwoman 41-45, F 10 Responses May 5

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    I Fell Into The Trap Of A Married Man

    There is no good thing about an affair, unless you are not in love with the person. You can easily rid yourself of them. Jealousy, pain and loneliness is not worth ruining a marriage. If I could go back and change it, I definitely would. Married men just want you at first, then...
    LittleEdithBeale LittleEdithBeale 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    im very confused and conflicted.

    i need support and advice. ive been NC now for 2 weeks. im proud of myself. my affair was only an emotional one. it was always intended to be physical but it is a long distance situation where we are both married with children. he was supposed to come here a few weeks ago...
    xrayedit xrayedit 36-40, F 7 hrs ago

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    2008

    This was the year that my life truly started I believe. I was working as a private photographer and was hired by a woman to photograph her family's Christmas party. When I arrived, she was very very bitchy and expected me to do more then what she'd hired me for. Shortly after...
    FreyaQ FreyaQ 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2013

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    That's it. After nearly 3 long years of a

    roller coaster ride, ups downs, highs, lows. Lots of good times but more upset and heartbreak than you would imagine. It's over. I am set free from this situation completely. No contact no more false hopes nothing. I pick myself up and my life starts now. I will never ever be...
    CastNoShadows CastNoShadows 26-30, F 10 Responses Jul 25, 2014

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    Advice from myself to all others out there in

    similar situations - never undo no contact when you know it's totally over beyond words. Never allow that scar to be ripped open. It's not worth the pain, but not only that, the mm will never change and suddenly leave his w. Even if it's been over for months or years, it still...
    CastNoShadows CastNoShadows 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 22

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    It's a year later and

    as crazy as it seems,I had an interview today and I think it went well just was kinda wishing I could share it with him,good,bad or ugly he was always the 1st person I wanted to share it with, but I have to remind myself he isn't there, makes me sad...
    kathrineh kathrineh 46-50, F 4 Responses May 15

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    I miss him today for some unknown reason.

    I think sometimes I just hate being single and wish I had someone special to talk to. šŸ˜ž
    Radiantlovingwoman Radiantlovingwoman 41-45, F 2 Responses May 7

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    I don't want anymore secret friendships .

    .. I'm tired of being the other woman. Tired of its complicated ... You are an adult sort it out..I want something I can be proud off
    1spicygirl 1spicygirl 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 22

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    6 years ago. When he finally left his wife I

    thought this was it. Now we have our chance. I was very wrong and stupid. Fast forward to now we have 2.5 year old. Now I'm stuck with the real him. Selfish vindictive spiteful. Used my son against me a few times because I do not want to be with him anymore. He's a bully. These...
    nikifox nikifox 31-35 3 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    Although its been almost 2 years

    since we been together last I still think of you everyday It's okay tho. I know we will most likely not be together Anytime in the future ! But hey who knows what the future holds ! I like to think your happy . But your pictures I can sense sadness in your eyes ! The same...
    ifollowmyownstar ifollowmyownstar 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 22, 2014

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    And now I'm pregnant!

    ! It doesn't matter how much you believe they'll leave for you. They don't in the end! The last time we spoke he was 'a couple weeks off leaving her' and I found out I was pregnant. he didn't want it and we haven't spoken in 9 weeks and he's still with her. I no longer want...
    katie39 katie39 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 18

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    I slept with my first married man

    when I was 19. My ex boyfriend from freshman year got married to his senior year sweetheart. Two weeks into his marriage, we reconnected and slept together. I knew it couldn't last. He was a very sensual man, and I desired it so much. After two months, we ended it. We had...
    amyadventurous amyadventurous 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 11

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    Two years ago, I became best friends with a

    married woman I would babysit/nanny for. Mid thirties, in great shape; she was like a big sister to me. We would go shopping and she would buy me clothes even. I felt she was coming on to me but didn't think much of it. Well, one day we shared a dressing room to try some new...
    emmsbody emmsbody 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    I know from my own experience

    that married men don't always leave the wife. I am the wife. I found out two years ago my husband had an affair with some married woman that he met at our kids school. When I found out I gave my husband the option to leave. 50/50 with the kids and assets. I told him I didn't...
    Truthbetold81 Truthbetold81 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 26

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