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I Was the Other Woman

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,145 People

    Well. I hit the 12 week mark of NC

    after a dday. Still don't know if I will ever hear from him, but today was the first day I could actually function outside of my job. I actually went to the store, got my oil changed ( finally..ugh...reason I couldn't do it was due to a very sweet and wonderful, hilarious...
    hotmess45 hotmess45 41-45, F 8 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Ugh! Loudest thought in my mind is 'Valentines,

    is gonna suck big time this year.' Technically i do have choices... a) Make it an all girls night out with my unattached girl friends... Knowing that i will be fighting the blues. b) Go out with a friend , heroically try to keep the platonic vibe going surrounded by touchy feely...
    Strawberrygiggles Strawberrygiggles 46-50, F 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    Just feeling VERY lonely lately.

    BUT - all in all, I do feel better - just having a bad patch and trying to focus on WHAT and WHY so I never repeat the same scenario in my life ...... Don't want anger, just inner resolve.
    kitty1958 kitty1958 56-60, F 5 Responses Jan 21

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    I Want To Know?

    I never thought of myself as the other woman until recently, maybe as I am married too. I had lots of major traumas in my life and a husband of many years who does not emotionally connect with me and could not support me through the traumas. I fell in love with my MM, truly...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    I was the other woman unknowingly at first &

    all it got me was pain,heartache,lies,deciet,low self esteem & for my loyalty I got called every nasty name in the book & horrible things said to me for doing the right thing & ending it. I loved him unconditionally & I'll miss what we had at one time, but too much has been said...
    Lovingmyselffirst Lovingmyselffirst 36-40, F Apr 22, 2014

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    Was... in the past. What seemed

    so heartbreaking and impossible just months ago is now just a fact. Well... no, not entirelly as yet... but I'm sure it will be so soon enough. Time heals everything. From time to time I still read the posts here about the OW and I genuinely commiserate with the pain people are...
    swallow90 swallow90 51-55, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Someone had posted in another group about

    experiencing the end of a long term affair as the same as going through the five stages of grief. I looked them up and the similarities astounded me. First- denial – when he first wanted to go platonic, I didn’t believe him. Of course it didn’t help that he often gave...
    Tullia1510 Tullia1510 46-50, F 5 Responses Jan 27

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    When I was in the deepest turmoil about the

    situation I created, I found this poet "Instructions on How to Be the Other Woman" : http://youtu.be/4hHUvSkTlqo
    v0lition v0lition 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Well I have salmonella poisoning.

    I got it from my snake. I'm pretty sure that's why my cat wasn't eating last week. I'm not vomiting just have a constant horrible stomachache and can't eat. I had to give my snake back to the pet store. I don't remember the last time I cried so hard. Not because I had any...
    AvaLennon1 AvaLennon1 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 28

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    6 years ago. When he finally left his wife I

    thought this was it. Now we have our chance. I was very wrong and stupid. Fast forward to now we have 2.5 year old. Now I'm stuck with the real him. Selfish vindictive spiteful. Used my son against me a few times because I do not want to be with him anymore. He's a bully. These...
    nikifox nikifox 31-35 2 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    I know from my own experience

    that married men don't always leave the wife. I am the wife. I found out two years ago my husband had an affair with some married woman that he met at our kids school. When I found out I gave my husband the option to leave. 50/50 with the kids and assets. I told him I didn't...
    Truthbetold81 Truthbetold81 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 26, 2015

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    Question: do any of you women feel like a

    failure once it ends? Almost like he's sitting back with his wife laughing at how stupid i was for believing his lies? My Ex-mm and his wife are wealthy, successful, have two "perfect" daughters who get whatever they want and need while I live paycheck to paycheck, struggle to...
    prprincess41 prprincess41 41-45, F 9 Responses May 5, 2015

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    Well the ex mm's wife just won't let up.

    She has asked me to nc mm. Which I have abided by her request. Yet he has contacted me. And she found out and blamed me. She went FB and contacted some random friends on there and told them I ruined her marriage and once again blamed me for their broken marriage. Now she has...
    Mshine944 Mshine944 41-45, F 8 Responses Jan 26

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    I'm so tired of being alone.

    I'm angry at myself for giving him this power Over me. I can't seen to get over him. I don't know how. The pain is just to much. I can't keep this up.
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Nov 11, 2015

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    To the Wife... You seem to be under the

    impression that he is yours. Well I have some startling news for you. If he is sleeping with me, then maybe he wasn't really yours after all. From The Other Woman I just read this on a blog and I thought I'd share it.
    Mshine944 Mshine944 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 23

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    It's coming up on two long months

    since it's been over. Some days I don't even think of him very often. I stay busy, go to sleep early, wake up and do it again. Other days I pray to hear from him, hoping that he can't be this cruel. I still can't believe it's over sometimes. That after two beautiful years full...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Oct 25, 2015

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    With all the excellent advice from everyone on

    here, I think my ex mm's wife could use a forum like this. She needs to vent, read other's stories and receive advice and thoughts from others. I can tell she is spinning herself to the brink of out of control. If only there was a way to reach her w/o instigating a war... I...
    Mshine944 Mshine944 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 26

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 10, 2015

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    When I sent that email to ex-mm this morning,

    I felt like a brick wall was on my chest. I had to hide my watery eyes because my kids would be confused. I walked my dog and the "What did I just do?" came flitting in and out. He had said he would always be my best friend. Should I give that up? THEN I log onto EP. There...
    Tullia1510 Tullia1510 46-50, F 7 Responses Jan 24

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    Two years ago, I became best friends with a

    married woman I would babysit/nanny for. Mid thirties, in great shape; she was like a big sister to me. We would go shopping and she would buy me clothes even. I felt she was coming on to me but didn't think much of it. Well, one day we shared a dressing room to try some new...
    emmsbody emmsbody 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    "Be sure to put your feet in the right place,

    then stand firm" Abraham Lincoln. Just completed week one of no contact. How does it feel? Still sucks. Oh well.....
    Tullia1510 Tullia1510 46-50, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    I haven't posted in a while

    but I just wanted to update everyone on my situation. So it's been over 5 months since things ended and I feel good. Not to say that it was an easy 5 months, I definitely had my low point but I saw the end. Since things got exposed he broke up with his girl but I knew us getting...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    I was re-reading my post here

    and some responses I've got. It was on October last year. During that time ex mm broke up with me. I was devasted. Couldn't function well but still hoping true love will lead him back to me. And so he did returned. We got engaged and he proceed with his annulment/divorce...
    Messymhe Messymhe 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 19

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    Being The Other Woman

    I've been reading and reading and it sadly doesn't surprise me how judgmental some people can be, but on the flip side it doesn't surprise me to see kind words and encouragement. Being the other woman is probably the hardest life experience I've ever endured, yet somehow it...
    harderthanithought harderthanithought 31-35, F 12 Responses Jul 4, 2013

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    Well I finally did it this morning.

    Here's my email: Dear (blank), I guess then this is truly the end. Educating myself on my "other women" support forum has me realizing that I can't do an emotional affair. I wanted to try. To do anything to keep you in my life. When I hung up the phone on Friday, I had...
    Tullia1510 Tullia1510 46-50, F 12 Responses Jan 24

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    Happy Birthday to the passionate Msjsta!

    I messaged you a birthday gift.
    Tullia1510 Tullia1510 46-50, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Hey ladies! Know your worth,

    and don't let anybody treat you like crap!!!
    Tish27 Tish27 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 25

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    So this is it... My first post in the "WAS"

    section... I have now ended the "affair" and I haven't seen him in 2 weeks. He was begging me to see him at the weekend. It took a lot, but I refused. He asked why I won't see him as friends, he still wants me in his life etc, he can't live without me. This enraged me for...
    DefinitelyDollie DefinitelyDollie 26-30, F 3 Responses May 12, 2015

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    Time does not heal all wounds.

    I had the most amazing relationship with a MM that I met on here in Sept of 2014. We were 2000 miles away and I never thought it was going to go anywhere. 5 months later I left my husband of 20 years and moved across the country to be closer to this man. Once I made the move, he...
    dnco27 dnco27 41-45, F 6 Responses Jan 11

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    Here was ex-mm's email to me this morning: "I

    found your voicemails from Friday and Saturday this morning. Your "no drama " pledge didn't last long. I will check in with you when I return next week and if you still feel the same I will delete my email address." OMG! I was furious. How dare he describe my devastation at...
    Tullia1510 Tullia1510 46-50, F 5 Responses Jan 25

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    Well my last post talked about my Ex-MM's W

    sending private FB messages to random family & friends of mine. And her telling them that I'm to blame for the problems in their marriage. And that I broke a promise to her of no contacting him. She reached 5 people that I know of for sure. And no harm was done. She didn't get...
    Mshine944 Mshine944 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 20

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    This all happened in the months

    that lead up to my 18th Birthday. I meet this guy about six months ago, he came in where I worked a lot. We started talking at first just cause I had to wait on him, and soon the conversations became more personal. Before long I was accepting an offer for him to take me on a...
    JessicaRenolds JessicaRenolds 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Things to consider about affairs.

    Most never leave the marriage. You can do the research. Even if they do leave the marriage, only 3-5% of relationships that began as affairs end up in marriage. There is a 75% divorce rate for marriages that began as affairs. There are many more problems faced by a couple...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    2008

    This was the year that my life truly started I believe. I was working as a private photographer and was hired by a woman to photograph her family's Christmas party. When I arrived, she was very very bitchy and expected me to do more then what she'd hired me for. Shortly after...
    FreyaQ FreyaQ 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2013

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    Well my dealings today with my ex mm's wife.

    She is requesting to follow me on Instagram and not only with her personal one but with her work account also. To top it off she also has activated my ex mm's account and has requested to follow me with his. And sent a message with his account. She is exhausting. All this is...
    Mshine944 Mshine944 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 27

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    Sometimes you have that one single thought.

    ?I hate him?. Not because you actually do. Not because you love him any less. It's just that you realize the intensity of who you are with and for him does not seem to match his intensity for and with you and it's disappointing. So you're angry and you think that thought...
    UnchartedHeart UnchartedHeart 22-25 3 Responses Jan 8

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    To all other women/past other women: I am

    happy to say I've moved on. A few days ago I saw him and it was the most awkward and heartbreaking experience. I haven't seen him in months and I suddenly run into him. I was stunned naturally and I can see he was too. We just stared at each other for minute unsure of what to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2014

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    Does it seem strange

    that on occasion I would still like to set my ex mm's head on fire, a year and a half later?
    girlmeetsworld101 girlmeetsworld101 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    Wanted to post my experience somewhere

    and this seems to be the place. I was in Las Vegas last week and just got out of a relationship and was looking for a good time. I went to a lounge and a guy ordered a drink for me and we got to talking, I thought he was out of my league in terms of looks, success, money, etc...
    stephaniemsmith18 stephaniemsmith18 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    I used to be TURKEY6 previously on this board

    but I deactivated for almost a year. I was the other woman in a strange tumultuous relationship for 2 years (off and on). We haven't spoken since about July of this year after a particularly nasty fight. He called me a name that I can't accept and I retaliated by saying the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    I Was Their Nanny

    Please don't judge me, I already know I did wrong. I was 19 when I went to England to work as a nanny for a loving family in a small village. He was 39, his wife was 42. She was lovely, had a great sense of humour and just made anyone love her. She was a make up artist and went...
    isybusy isybusy 22-25, F 12 Responses Dec 23, 2012

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    I haven't posted in a long time.

    Cleared most of my stories that had too much detail for good reason. But I just had a funny thought that might help some of us laugh a little, about why it is better to be out. Consider this: The memory of endless MM selfie photos of him with a F'in toilet in the background. I...
    justabovetheknees justabovetheknees 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    Yeah, other than my ex

    when I was 19, I don't sleep with married men long enough to be the "other woman". It's usually just the one night (or two). Not all of them are that as great in bed as they claim, anyway.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 16, 2015

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    In 2012, I realized that my marriage lacked any

    sort of passion. I kind of felt like an idiot. I was 46 years old. I have a fulfilling career and several advanced degrees. I raised smart responsible children that were growing into adults that made me proud. How did I not see this happening? How was I so clueless about...
    Tullia1510 Tullia1510 46-50, F 11 Responses a week ago

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    I broke NC and called ex-mm.

    I don’t have any regrets. It had been 10 days. A lot of time to reflect. What I found was that I hated that our last interaction was angry words through email. It didn’t make sense. We were very close friends. I knew that if I ever had a crisis and I called him, he...
    Tullia1510