When you watch "Walker, Texas Ranger" on T.V. that is actually Chuck Norris doing a live renactment.
When you are watching Walker Texas Ranger and you just think of changing the channel Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you through the TV
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
When Chuck Norris jumps in the pool Chuck doesn't get wet..... the pool gets chucked
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a mirror... That was the first, last, and ONLY time Chuck Norris EVER broke his nose.
What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Chuck Norris has a Doberman and a Pitbull. They are there to protect people from Chuck Norris.
In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states "All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those...
Chuck Norris is so cool that when kids play checkers they don't say king me, they say Chuck Norris me.
Mathematicians have secretly refused to adhere to Chuck's request for a new unit of measurment, So when Chuck asks for a "Cow of Milk" get him two.
Chuck Norris can make his own megazord "The Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kickers Ultimate Super Awesome Megazord."
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Mr.Perfect got the idea to be perfect from Chuck Norris. He is no longer living now. NO ONE TRIES TO BE CHUCK NORRIS.
Medusa carries a mirror just in case she bumps into Chuck Norris.. and the mirror isn't for Chuck Norris.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
A state trooper pulled Chuck Norris over the other day. Being a man who respects the law, Chuck let him off with a warning.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
Steel doesn't cut through Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris cuts through anything.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists
Barry Bonds didn't inject steroids. He injected Chuck Norris' sweat.
The 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was orignally written to give Chuck Norris the right to Roundhouse Kick.
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris can make a mosquito itch.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris' teachers gave him apples.
"Chuck Norris is the strongest one there is" signed the Hulk.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Chuck Norris happens.
Matches are warned not to play with Chuck Norris
The Manhattan Project was a failure attempt to reproduce the power of Chuck's kick.
Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet. Why? Dirt knows better.
Diamonds are forever... unless Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks them into dust.
Chuck Norris' 10 gallon hat holds 20 gallons.
"Who let the dogs out?" Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick.