When you are watching Walker Texas Ranger and you just think of changing the channel Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you through the TV.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Chuck Norris complained to the restaurant that there was a waiter in his soup.
An autograph from Chuck Norris is a roundhouse kick to the head.
Ninjas can punch thru solid steel, but Chuck Norris can punch thru solid diamond.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very...
Chuck Norris does not do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris shoves coal up his butt, and sneezes out diamonds.
One of my instructors has actually changed my name in...
CNN has the best coverage because it was invented by Chuck Norris. It stands for the Chuck Norris Network.
When someone fires a gun at Chuck Norris, the gun won't fire. not even a gun would try to attack Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't go running, Chuck Norris goes chasing.
Chuck Norris used to work as a crash test dummy, but he was fired because he kept making the cars crash.
Chuck Norris' favorite color is Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
What is a dragon? a combination of Chuck norris and a T-Rex. Chuck Norris breathes fire and can fly,a T-rex has small arms
Chuck Norris will be hosting Prince William and Kate Middletons Bux and Hens night. He is also the wedding singer, DJ, and flower girl.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Atlantis to the bottom of the ocean
Chuck Norris won the 1st UFC royal rumble using nothing but Tai Chi and Hillary Clinton's phone number.
I went into a hardware store and asked for a chuck norris , i walked out with diamond tipped 9 inch grinding disc and a broken jaw.
Chuck Norris is so freaking bad if you ever see him fighting a grizzly bear you better jump in and help the bear!!!
Chuck Norris can smell the coffee before he wakes up.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
When someone has a good idea a light bulb appears over their head. When Chuck Norris has a good idea a star explodes.
Iron Man's armor is actually a small layer of Chuck Norris' skin painted red.
Chuck Norris sleeps in the light; not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris can make a Diet Coke/Mentos explosion without the Mentos...or the Diet Coke.
Chuck Norris can eat pie REALLY fast.
Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick round houses into squares.
Chuck Norris can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.
On Jeopardy!, if you give your answer in the form of a Chuck Norris instead of a question, you win automatically.
Chuck Norris never listens to radio. Radio listens to him.
When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.