Thunder and lightning were named after Chuck Norris' fists.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, he doesn't have to take a number.
Chuck Norris could make the impossible POSSIBLE.
You're stuck in the middle of the ocean? There's no need for 911, when you can just whisper 'Chuck Norris' and he's there to help...
"I AM CHUCK F*CKING NORRIS!!! I SPIT MORE BLOOD AND GORE THAN FORTY SCORE ON YOUR PUNY CIVIL WARS, B*TCH!!! I SPLIT THE UNION WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!! I WEAR A BLACKBELT ON THE...
When a zombie bit Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris didn't turn into a zombie. The zombie turned into Chuck Norris.
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him.
The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the...
Chuck Norris doesn't catch colds...but colds can't catch Chuck Norris, either, because nothing can catch Chuck Norris.
The Pope once tried to bless Chuck Norris. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the nunchuks but came to realize that he doesn't need weapons. They were originally called Non-Chucks after Chuck discarded it.
Chuck Norris appeared on Deal or No Deal. The banker offered Chuck 2 million after the first case.
When Chuck Norris plays Hide-And-Seek, it's not called that anymore. It's Hide-And-Don't-Get-Roundhouse-Kicked-In-The-Face-Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a golf ball. It went so far it dissapeared. It showed up minutes later when it hit Chuck Norris in the back.
Everywhere Chuck Norris goes, it's night, because the Sun is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris allowed Bruce Lee to kill him in "THe Way Of The Dragon" but Chuck ended the deal by returning the favor, FOR REAL.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a reflection in the mirror because it's afraid to look at Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris spelled backwards is Chuck Norris.
A man once asked Chuck Norris how much he benched. Chuck Norris sighed and roundhouse kicked him through a wall and said "I don't bench, I wall".
The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
The only reason the sound barrier has been broken is because the sound barrier mistook Chuck Yeager for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Taylor wears Chuck Norris All Stars.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Scientists say dinosaurs are extinct due to a comet. Others say Chuck Norris wanted to test his roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris has Schindler on his list.
Chuck Norris can play PS3 games....... ON A PS1
Chuck Norris' black belt once was a black hole.
When Chuck Norris walks into a courtroom, the judge stands up and says, "All rise".
Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris. It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
Every year, on his birthday, Chuck Norris chooses one lucky child to catapult into the sun.
Chuck Norris lives in the center of the sun. He thought all of the other planets weren't good enough for him.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck roundhouse-kicks you anyway.
Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Chuck Norris breeds pit bulls... from hamsters.
When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid.
Chuck Norris doesn't go round roundabouts, roundabouts go round him.
Chuck Norris has his own show. Extreme Makeover: Face Edition.
Chuck Norris graduated from the University of Bad-***, with a degree in whoop ***, and a concentration in roundhouse kicks to the face.