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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 135 People

    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 13-15, M Jan 28

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M May 26

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 1 Response May 6, 2012

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Love doesn't exist. Boys and girls can't love anymore. I wish it was the way it used to be. But sex has become to much of a priority for people.
    cassiecollins cassiecollins 16-17, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Most people that know me find me genuine and sincere. I am genuine and sincere. I value honesty in myself and in others. But I do not often speak my mind. Of course there are some...
    junliga junliga 22-25, F Jul 13

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    The beginning of last year in like September maybe my best friend was talking to this cute boy she met at a friend's party and she was snapchatting and kiking him like NON-STOP...
    laurenharris1 laurenharris1 13-15, F Jul 14

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    I've never really thought highly of myself. So when I started liking a boy who ended up not liking me back, I was crushed. Before I met this really adorable guy, I was already...
    SeanNation SeanNation 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 20

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    So me and my " BOYFRIEND " had been together for about 2 years before I lost my v card ! He was very patient and he didn't force or rush me into anything I didn't want to do. As...
    Lovelyx2 Lovelyx2 18-21, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    She did love me for a while. Then she said she didn't. Then she did, but as friends. Then, slowly she drifted away. One intimacy, one level of connection at a time. Shut off. Given...
    anyoldrobert anyoldrobert 51-55, M 1 Response Jun 28

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    I didn't either. I wish I had. Life would have been a lot easier I believe.
    whyisitsohard44 whyisitsohard44 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    My boyfriend and I (after about one year of dating) loved each other and had talked about everything and I had standards for our first times (we were both virgins). I said I 1...
    HappyHart5 HappyHart5 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 17

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    At the time, I had feelings for a boy. I knew he would never like me back, and I didn't mind, I didn't want him to. I couldn't get over him, and something weird happened.. I can't...
    enchanthorizon enchanthorizon 13-15, F Jun 28

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    I remember the exact moment that I knew i loved him. It was when I discovered he was moving away for six years to another country I couldn't possibly visit. Must when I was about...
    wingeyes wingeyes 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 6

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    I always felt like I didn't fit in. But it was more than that for me, I knew I didn't fit in. From first grade and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer...
    ElizaKate ElizaKate 16-17, F Jul 13

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    I was am 14 at the moment and a few months ago I was at a stage with a girl I loved dearly and still love where we had been "talking dirty" for a while and exchanging pictures with...
    Teyh606 Teyh606 13-15, M 6 days ago

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    He didn't love me like I loved him ...but he still calls me every morning , he didn't love me like I loved him but he's like a kid winning in tears ...he didn't love me like I...
    imparadise imparadise 18-21, F Jul 3

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    It's not necessarily love but I like to think of it that way. So I dated this girl a month or two back, and she said yes so I was happy. Little did I know she regretted every...
    Mjm01235 Mjm01235 13-15, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    My sister and I haven't spoken for months and one night we ended up at the same bar. The guy she was with (her boyfriends friend) was there reason we spoke that night. I have met...
    Celinejean Celinejean 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 5

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    Because I didn't know better! And this torments me all the time even though about, 14 yrs has pass! Yup crazy I guess but can't get over the fact because, I was 13 and he was 19...
    mrscasillas28 mrscasillas28 26-30, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's not a past tense thing for me though. It is happening right now in my relationship. We've been together for about 8 months and he is my first boyfriend (I'm 22). I told him...
    jlhhlj123 jlhhlj123 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 3

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    And finally, it's over. Two years of lies. Two years wasted. I saw it coming. I felt us drifting apart. I could feel your absence. I just never thought it'd come to this, that you...
    mitted mitted 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 7

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    Haven't we all....I mean seriously....haven't we all at some point gave our hearts and souls to someone who just didn't deserve them..... Loving them...Caring for them....giving...
    ladyamelia ladyamelia 41-45, F 7 Responses Jul 11

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    I waited a year and 2 months I was 16 at the time. I thought I was ready but I realized I wasn't as I lay next to him. I didn't wanna back out cause I promised him this many times...
    young090613 young090613 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 12

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    She was a close friend. I knew her for a year and she seemed perfect. Really feminine, intelligent, soft-spoken and stunningly beautiful (at least in my eyes). I mustered my...
    JourneyOfLife JourneyOfLife 22-25, M 4 Responses Jul 13

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    No, I didn't. I no longer liked school at that point. I was in choir, drama class, and Bible club. I was well known but rarely anyone wanted to hang out with me. I didn't fit in...
    DarkwingGoslyn DarkwingGoslyn 31-35 Jul 13

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    my best friend... i loved him more than i loved myself... and that's going to forever be the biggest regret of my life. he left. never came back, let me go without a fight. and i'm...
    meowshelbs meowshelbs 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    The person I whom I trusted blindly other than my family was my best friend. We met one and a half years ago. We are in the same college. I didn't know when I fell in love with him...
    Bella2911 Bella2911 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    He was a year younger than me. We didn't know each other. I'm very shy so I never talked to him. I got his number and talked to him but he said he didn't like me back. He liked...
    adrianacecilia14 adrianacecilia14 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    He told me he loved me everyday, and I knew he didn't. I just didn't believe it. I wanted to hear it from him, but all he said was " I love you too " I saw the way he looked at...
    MaddyAlexis MaddyAlexis 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I didn't wait until marriage. I was 17 an he was 23. I didn't regret it, and still dont, but the way he treats me now, i love him unconditionally, yet he fails to even try an talk...
    happyconfused212 happyconfused212 18-21, T 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Thank you so much for those who will read this entire experience. I lost my virginity about a year ago. It was fun, as i expected. I didn't regret it then, and I haven't regretted...
    imallhers imallhers 13-15, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    And I also didn't wait nearly long enough into the relationship. Of course, in my head, I pulled the whole "it doesn't matter that we've only been dating a couple weeks because we...
    jonicole jonicole 18-21, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    it was the saddest experience of my life but my mum told me it happens at lease once in some ones life they person said they didn't love me they just liked me and I felt so sad I...
    Angel2345 Angel2345 13-15, F 2 days ago

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