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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 161 People

    LoveIsInTheBlood LoveIsInTheBlood 16-17, F Apr 8

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    All I am good for is the occasional pity laugh,

    a bad example, or to make others look better in comparison. No matter how much I try, I can't fix my life. I have never made any accomplishments that haven't been the direct work of someone else. People have always had to help me with challenges that I should be able to face...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2014

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 9, 2014

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2014

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    I dont know why the hell i was born

    if im destined to be a homeless man on the street . I hate living just thinking of the future makes me more depressing . My parents are overprotective and regilious forceful people which makes it even worse . And i have no skill or talent so i rather not live tbh . Fk life i...
    Mizo0217 Mizo0217 18-21, M 3 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28, 2014

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    Compared to everyone I know of I don't

    even think I accomplished 5% of what they have achieved in life. I feel so useless, I feel like I can't do anything right, everything I try to do-- it just ends up as a complete messed up failure. I've been having lots of drama with my male friends. My gf that I've been with for...
    LifeSuxorz LifeSuxorz 26-30 1 Response Sep 25, 2014

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 16-17, M Mar 21, 2014

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2014

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I was sick of my virginity being used as a tool to control me. I was a virgin, by choice, for eighteen years. While that sounds like a reasonable amount of time (and I'm glad...
    PunsGalore PunsGalore 18-21, F 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    As many people know most of my posts on here are about love or getting advice on something to deal with love. Well sorry -- This one will be another one on love. It all started...
    snakeyes1123 snakeyes1123 26-30, M 15 hrs ago

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    I'm glad that I didn't wait. I've only had one partner and I'm currently dating him ❤️ and since our first time I've been craving it more
    SkyeLee100 SkyeLee100 18-21, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I have never felt reciprocated love. I don't mean like the friends and family package deal that everybody gets, I mean romantically. It's not from a lack of trying, but as I look...
    monkey0506 monkey0506 26-30, M 1 Response May 9

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    Yes I loved somebody who didn't love me...I knew he didn't but I still fell for him...I feel like a complete idiot and wish I could take back the years...but I can't:/ he left when...
    LerisaEllis LerisaEllis 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    Yeah, it's been a while since we were anything other than friends. It's been a long time since you looked at me the way I still look at nothing when I think of you. It's been a...
    MissAutumn MissAutumn 18-21, F May 18

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    When you look at me, I will not look back. When you smile at me, I will not smile back. When you reach out for my acknowledgement, I will stare through you like you don't exist. I...
    missssyme missssyme 31-35, F 1 Response May 12

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    He said he loved me but what he really meant was he didn't want to be alone. He didn't love me, because you don't lack compassion for the love of your life. He didn't love me...
    Sunshine9001 Sunshine9001 51-55, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    My grandmother has a best friend named Grace. Grace's grandkids and great grandkids came to Missouri all the way from the west coast in April 2014. Since my grandmother and Grace...
    shelbyrain20 shelbyrain20 18-21, F 1 Response May 20

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    I was first attracted to you I didn't know why, The smell of your skin of your clothes, They poisoned my mind, They made me go crazy over you. Over your smile, Over the way you...
    Francoise25 Francoise25 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    I need to get this off my chest, and since I can't say this to him I will here... Am I a terrible person? This is what I keep asking myself as the thoughts in my mind twist and...
    LonelySnake LonelySnake 18-21, F 4 Responses May 11

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    No I didn't wait. I lost my virginity at 15. Ever since then I can't get enough. I think about it all the time. I am so glad I didn't wait cos I have gotten so much pleasure and...
    cassieo21f cassieo21f 18-21, F 19 Responses May 16

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    I was 13, and it makes me feel so guilty and awful. When I think of my husband I hope and pray that he hasn't been doing things with other girls. Thoughts run in my head of fear...
    alps1416 alps1416 13-15, F 5 Responses May 16

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    Years ago, when I was first going to college. I was finally dating a guy I had been interested in for years. It was semi long distance, just an hour n half apart. And I was head...
    Armywifsahm Armywifsahm 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 29

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    5 years ago there's a boy who loved me. He is my childhood. He always protect me, save me, help me, make me laugh and happy, and he never ever make me sad. Then, I should move to...
    ariekaferdiana ariekaferdiana 16-17, F May 19

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    i loved this girl. I've known her for a while. she didn't love me. i tried everything to convince her she was the world. i still love her. she's with someone else
    drrjr drrjr 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 29

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    I didn't wait and I am OK with that :) hr was my first and I love him everyday whether he knows it or not... one day I hope to make him my only :) <3
    emeraldprincess1003 emeraldprincess1003 22-25, F 1 Response May 2

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    When I was married I loved my husband with every fiber of my being. He didn't love me.. But time heals all wounds. To an extent.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 4

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    I loved someone that didn't love me and I don't regret it at all. While it felt terrible most of the time, short-lived moments of happiness were also one of the best days of my...
    everydayissummerr everydayissummerr 26-30, F May 4

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    I stupidly believed a guy who was visiting the country on holiday that he loved me because he told me he loved me.. Only when he left the country he suddenly didn't love me and was...
    immortellecapture immortellecapture 31-35, F 3 Responses May 5

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    I loved someone who didn't love me... I still love someone who doesn't love me. It's gotten easier though because I accepted the fact that we will never work. He's a great friend...
    kristen1993 kristen1993 22-25, F 3 Responses May 6