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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 147 People

    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M 1 Response May 26

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    Compared to everyone I know of I don't

    even think I accomplished 5% of what they have achieved in life. I feel so useless, I feel like I can't do anything right, everything I try to do-- it just ends up as a complete messed up failure. I've been having lots of drama with my male friends. My gf that I've been with for...
    LifeSuxorz LifeSuxorz 22-25 1 Response Sep 25

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    All I am good for is the occasional pity laugh,

    a bad example, or to make others look better in comparison. No matter how much I try, I can't fix my life. I have never made any accomplishments that haven't been the direct work of someone else. People have always had to help me with challenges that I should be able to face...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 3

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Two years ago I was introduced to a guy whose I knew before but just by sight. He is one year older than me from the same hometown as me, visiting the same Uni as me. He always...
    michaela2 michaela2 22-25 1 Response 1 day ago

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    It’s my 20th autumn and the last one in some ways. This year I finally grew up and find out that an adult life is full of sucks. After 20 years I became an egoist and I can’t...
    Mischutka2013 Mischutka2013 18-21, F Nov 16

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    It was a long time ago. We were goofing around but we agreed to be in a relationship. There were years we didn't see each but we kept contact with each other with love letters...
    NotKool NotKool 16-17, M 1 Response Nov 7

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    I'm a Christian and I'm supposed to be thankful in all circumstances. It's kind of hard for me to find joy or be thankful in my circumstance though. I fell in love with a woman...
    AlexCorvace AlexCorvace 26-30, M 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Just wanted somewhere to write this I guess. I got in a pretty serious relationship when I just turned 17 and it was great for the most part, we could spend whole days together...
    dch29 dch29 22-25, M Oct 28

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    When I met my wife 35 years ago we were both heavy drinkers. I knew her ex-husband and used to drink with him sometimes but didn't like him because of the way he treated his (later...
    arthur1446 arthur1446 61-65, M Oct 30

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    When I met my wife 35 years ago we were both heavy drinkers. I knew her ex-husband and used to drink with him sometimes but didn't like him because of the way he treated his (later...
    arthur1446 arthur1446 61-65, M 3 Responses Oct 30

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    Some people think this is stupid, because I'm young, and it wasn't that long. What did I expect right? .... I loved this boy. Well I don't love him at first. But I came to love...
    LittlemsA LittlemsA 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 2

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    I couldn't help but fall for someone i knew deep down didn't love me. We are close friends who live together along with five other people. I spent every moment i'm at home with her...
    philo15 philo15 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 11

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    I'm still piecing this together because it didn't happen very long ago. Basically I met this girl about a year and a half ago at a chill party I was invited to and she opened the...
    alexfrombarnies alexfrombarnies 18-21, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I was watching a TV show and they were re-enacting the prom that they never went to. I didn't go to either my Junior prom or my Senior prom. For the Junior prom I didn't have...
    LifeHunter LifeHunter 31-35, M 1 Response Nov 7

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    How can I feel alone when I sleep next to you every night. How can a love I have for you seems so distance sometimes. When I think of you why do I feel that I lost you and, your...
    natashaxxs natashaxxs 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I worked in a small company for some months but this week I didn't wake up to go, I didn't wake up for nothing the first day, then just to pee, to eat. I went to the psychiatrist...
    phasmidae phasmidae 22-25 15 hrs ago

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    Honestly, I don't believe it was "love" I just had a really deep like for him. Something that was slowly turning into love but didn't fully get there on account of the fact that he...
    MickxLove MickxLove 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 27

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    For 8 years. I was with a man I adored, admired and loved. He was 10 years older to me but I loved him. I loved him from the bottom of my heart. But you know what? He didn't love...
    ira01 ira01 26-30, F 10 Responses Nov 2

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    I lost my virginity to a preachers son in the preachers house with him home and in the next room and the bedroom door open the bad part it wasn't good and the guy had prettier...
    unknown272014 unknown272014 26-30, F 15 Responses Oct 28

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    did anyone honestly wait? ur "husband" probably didn't wait either. so why should you?
    ninjadentistinspace ninjadentistinspace 16-17, F 14 Responses Oct 28

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    I knew he didn't love me but I adored him anyway.
    JesssicaSandra JesssicaSandra 13-15, F Oct 31

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    Last night we had argument, I said things that I really didn't mean. I don't want you to feel less of man,when I promise I wouldn't be like that to you. Just the moment got the...
    natashaxxs natashaxxs 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 31

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    but how DOUCHE BAGGY is my profile picture?? are these kinds of pics still considered douchey in a highly sexual environment like EP? do I need to change my pic ASAP or what?? I...
    MaxSinner MaxSinner 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 31

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    I did, it hurt so much the fact that they are everything you think about, you can't go a day without seeing them, making them smile, nothing they do will ever look strange or weird...
    lloydieboi14 lloydieboi14 18-21, M Nov 2

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    I was with my boyfriend for over three years. During that time he never once told me he loved me. Three weeks ago he texted me and told me that he wasn't excited about being in a...
    MelEllen MelEllen 36-40, F 12 Responses Nov 2

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    I was 16, and my boyfriend and I went to the movies to see some nameless scary movie. Things got a little hot, so I pretended I was too scared and we went outside. One thing led to...
    xlovelykittyx xlovelykittyx 18-21, F 13 Responses Nov 4

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    When I was fifteen I tore my own hymen with a toy because I was afraid it would be awkward when I had my first time and I would bleed on my partner. So I kind of took my own...
    ToujoursElmo7 ToujoursElmo7 18-21, F 11 Responses Nov 5

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    I adored my ex and thought he found me really attractive... Then I found out he had been watching **** everyday on his 40 inch hd screen and didn't find me that attractive to begin...
    Paleandpolluted86 Paleandpolluted86 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 5

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    I wouldn't say he didn't love me. He was obviously flirting/cheating with me when he had a girlfriend.
    dancedesire dancedesire 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 6

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    Remember when you blame someone for something they didn't do you have one finger pointed towards them and four pointing back at you.
    GoodbyeLife GoodbyeLife 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 8

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    well in glad I didn't and I don't regret plus it was fun
    CESARR7 CESARR7 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 8

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    I'm 16 and I lost my virginity to this really amazing guy :) I don't regret it cause it was amazing and he made me feel so comfortable, that was about 4 months ago and we been...