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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 233 People

    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    Compared to everyone I know of I don't

    even think I accomplished 5% of what they have achieved in life. I feel so useless, I feel like I can't do anything right, everything I try to do-- it just ends up as a complete messed up failure. I've been having lots of drama with my male friends. My gf that I've been with for...
    LifeSuxorz LifeSuxorz 26-30 1 Response Sep 25, 2014

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    LoveIsInTheBlood LoveIsInTheBlood 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    All I am good for is the occasional pity laugh,

    a bad example, or to make others look better in comparison. No matter how much I try, I can't fix my life. I have never made any accomplishments that haven't been the direct work of someone else. People have always had to help me with challenges that I should be able to face...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2014

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2014

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    scissorovacomb scissorovacomb 26-30, F Jul 18

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    I'm tired of being a life im really tired what

    a life i have. My brother cant keep secrets and keeps and always lie my mother is always mad at me and the most mad is at me my dad lies to. My cousin gets mad at me and my small cousin named jonnathan 5 years old majes me angry all the time i visit him now i now what a life is...
    yosua yosua 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2014

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    When things are tough sometimes we convince

    ourselves that the way to be strong is to shut everyone out.
    Bg3242 Bg3242 13-15, F Jul 19

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 9, 2014

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 16-17, M Mar 21, 2014

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28, 2014

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    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I wish I wouldn´t have a heart so nobody could hurt me again.
    Loretta78 Loretta78 36-40, F 5 hrs ago

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    I wish #2 would stop working for Doctor Evil. I'm actually serious about that. Why should I live off cash when he can go anywhere he desires and sleep with my unofficial wife and...
    Noology19 Noology19 26-30 13 hrs ago

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    If I didn't have emotions then I wouldn't make all the stupid mistakes I make. I act impulsively based on my feelings and that just screws things up for me, I'm just too honest...
    ThePiggycorn ThePiggycorn 13-15, M 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    I don't fit in anywhere I go. Not even here on EP. I wish this tumor would hurry up and finish me off. Maybe I'll fit into the afterlife.
    Kwakwakalanooksiwae Kwakwakalanooksiwae 36-40, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I definitely didn't wait until marriage as I have a bun in the oven!
    lisaW16 lisaW16 16-17, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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    This isn't really anywhere close to anyone else's experiences, most others dated or even married someone, only to have their heart broken. My experience isn't exactly like that...
    Venum21 Venum21 13-15, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    7 months ago, I met this guy and I felt like we clicked. Unfortunately, we had sex the first time we met. I learned that he was going through a divorce. We got close very quickly...
    EmberBishop EmberBishop 26-30, F 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    I was previously seeing someone who I fell for. Cut the long story short, he woo'd me and done everything to make me fall for him. I was in a really bad relationship before I met...
    cancerian19 cancerian19 26-30, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    And it made me never want to love someone like that ever again. I'd actually met this guy when we were both in first grade. He and I attended the same elementary school for a while...
    Curlatte3845 Curlatte3845 18-21, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I love him... But now I know.. He never loved me. All the time wasted.. Why? Why can't someone just be honest for once and say what they feel? I poured my heart n soul into him...
    ocenblu ocenblu 41-45, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    well I don't think she did, It basically started when our IT teacher told the boys to sit down but make sure that a seat was available next to us, then she told the girls to sit in...
    Ralbarda Ralbarda 13-15, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Before my husband came out of the closet he destroyed me as a human being. I just didn't know.
    ajeanshadow ajeanshadow 51-55, F 8 Responses Aug 24

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    Well it started when I was in middle school his name was Nelson and I can say that I love him. Although I never told him how I felt...he was just a good friend haha yeah. All of my...
    Taniays Taniays 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    Doesn't everyone? You'd have to be the biggest D*ckhole to wish it did.
    Kittygirl17 Kittygirl17 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 21

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    people Ignores meI know I'm ugly but I didn't create myselfthat's not fairanyway I get used to be alone I feel that I'm beastI'm not talkin about mself that what she said I'm so...
    minoSosimple minoSosimple 18-21, M Aug 21

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    Disclaimer: I'm not posting this to change anybody's mind or challenge any beliefs, this is simply my take on how sex affected me. No, I didn't wait. There was a time when it...
    Teedge Teedge 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 20

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    I loved someone who barely knew i existed. I finally thought i wouldn't flinch when she passes by but the other day at the port wen i turned around and saw her. I thought ****, i...
    Shaday18 Shaday18 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 19

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    Nor did I know you EXISTED before joining. You have no say in what I choose to post here or what groups I'm allowed to join. You don't stop the world from turning. You don't tell...
    RealmRunner RealmRunner 22-25, F Aug 18

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