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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 160 People

    Compared to everyone I know of I don't

    even think I accomplished 5% of what they have achieved in life. I feel so useless, I feel like I can't do anything right, everything I try to do-- it just ends up as a complete messed up failure. I've been having lots of drama with my male friends. My gf that I've been with for...
    LifeSuxorz LifeSuxorz 26-30 1 Response Sep 25, 2014

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2014

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    All I am good for is the occasional pity laugh,

    a bad example, or to make others look better in comparison. No matter how much I try, I can't fix my life. I have never made any accomplishments that haven't been the direct work of someone else. People have always had to help me with challenges that I should be able to face...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2014

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    LoveIsInTheBlood LoveIsInTheBlood 16-17, F Apr 8

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28, 2014

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2014

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    I dont know why the hell i was born

    if im destined to be a homeless man on the street . I hate living just thinking of the future makes me more depressing . My parents are overprotective and regilious forceful people which makes it even worse . And i have no skill or talent so i rather not live tbh . Fk life i...
    Mizo0217 Mizo0217 18-21, M 5 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 9, 2014

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    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 16-17, M Mar 21, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    Not a great start to the weekend... lost all my experiences, stories, friends, and messages...
    bigryand bigryand 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 9

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    We were poor when I was a kid. I was the youngest of 7 kids. All my life I felt like a burden on my family. They didn't need another mouth to feed. Besides, if I had never existed...
    mombo1969 mombo1969 41-45, M 1 day ago

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    "For You" By:Stained "To my mother, to my father, It's your son or it's your daughter, Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me? Should I turn this up for you? I sit here...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I wish I didn't still care I wish it didn't still matter I wish I could lock all of you away Put the memories in a box Somewhere that they would stay
    Stylesavvy Stylesavvy 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    Today was the day I told my mother about it.... We were in the middle of a topic that was already heated and then she wanted me to release anything else into the open... I burst...
    xxblasianxx xxblasianxx 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    I'm sorryElizabeth, awesome, didn't mean to ignore you, just needed some space.Taylor, I love you be but just feel like we never say the right thingsJack, You are so much better...
    Denzebarrrn Denzebarrrn 18-21, M 2 days ago

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    I remember I Missed all my high school prom all through age sixteen all the way through age twenty one every year during high school my mom never understood why I didn't want to go...
    Theinfo Theinfo 22-25, M Mar 26

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    Here's the weird thing: I thought he liked me too. Here's the other weird thing: it was like I didn't see him. I don't really know how to explain it. I was so attracted to him...
    RxpperGirl RxpperGirl 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 1

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    An old friend messaged me on Facebook one day, we begin flirting, sexting, & eventually ended up sleeping together. A few times. After seeing each other, I would try to stay in...
    xxihateyouxx xxihateyouxx 18-21, F Apr 12

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    This guy a{ the start was super good to me but i was inlove with somebody else and unfortunatly i didn't see. This guy now is the love of my life but he never respose to enything...
    Konnalove Konnalove 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 14

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    I don't think you felt the same for me as I felt for you. I wonder if I meant anything to you at all, or if I was just an ego boost for you. The thrill of the chase was what...
    Stylesavvy Stylesavvy 41-45, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I didn't grow up especially religious so didn't think it mattered. I still don't. What matters to me is it was the right person.
    nataliejones1984 nataliejones1984 41-45, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Well I loved this girl, and this was when I was just getting used to being bi, and she was my first crush she was so beautiful and even now I still look at her and can't help but...
    isabelbradley isabelbradley 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 14

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    Ever since someone really special to me passed away, I have felt guilty. I was too busy to come and see them and my job disallowed me to visit at weekends. I tried to phone them...
    LittleMissIntrovert LittleMissIntrovert 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    Yeah, I did, unrequited love seemed on the cards when I met her. But I didn't expect her to cheat on me. I actually cared about her and she threw it back in my face. It was a while...
    a7xsolitude a7xsolitude 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 27

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    I met the Royal protection squad ! The police outriders who look after Queen Elizabeth 2nd . Very impressive . She was visiting Wilberforce House in Hull. It was a very...
    Homejames Homejames 46-50, M Mar 29

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    He didn't live himself, and neither did I! I finally woke up and walked away. I know my value.
    Bri1110 Bri1110 22-25, F Mar 29

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    His name was Caleb and I had met him online on a website, we began talking for a while and had what you would call a friends with benefits type of relationship but while he saw me...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 1

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    And like Lenny Nero in Strange Days said, "it didn't stop you from caring about them and (paraphrasing) wanting to keep them safe".
    cunninglinguist1 cunninglinguist1 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 4

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    In fact, when I saw her, I thought "pffft... she's not going to be Mrs. AerosolKid". But you could make a case for *her* marrying for looks. You could make an even stronger case if...
    ImperialAerosolKid ImperialAerosolKid 41-45, M Apr 5

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    I had someone lie to me about caring about me. Then when I cared and he didn't, he took advantage of that. He strung me along for over a year; I have never had anyone do that. He...
    HappyGirlJenny HappyGirlJenny 36-40, F 6 Responses Apr 6

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    I was raped at 14 didn't give myself till I was 20 and he lied said he loved me then ran off. I got a bi polar disorder and had sex with 10 guys after that. I'm 21 now and I am now...
    piperweant piperweant 18-21, F 15 Responses Apr 7

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