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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 147 People

    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    All I am good for is the occasional pity laugh,

    a bad example, or to make others look better in comparison. No matter how much I try, I can't fix my life. I have never made any accomplishments that haven't been the direct work of someone else. People have always had to help me with challenges that I should be able to face...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 3

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M May 26

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    Compared to everyone I know of I don't

    even think I accomplished 5% of what they have achieved in life. I feel so useless, I feel like I can't do anything right, everything I try to do-- it just ends up as a complete messed up failure. I've been having lots of drama with my male friends. My gf that I've been with for...
    LifeSuxorz LifeSuxorz 22-25 1 Response Sep 25

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    This is a topic that a lot of people have opinions on. I didn't wait until marriage & I'm not even planning on getting married for a long time. I was 14 when I lost my virginity. I...
    kaitybobaityxo kaitybobaityxo 16-17, F 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    You looked at me like you looked at me, but I didn't want you to look at me. I wanted you to look at me like I looked at you. I saw your soul. It was charismatic, if it ever were...
    modernmuse modernmuse 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 22

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    I'm 19. Last week, I lost my virginity. It wasn't amazing. There wasn't "sparks", it was not like the movies. He wasn't even my boyfriend, he was just a work friend (he's 21...
    Geegee14 Geegee14 18-21, F 16 Responses Sep 26

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    I wish I didn't have to go to work so soon. I literally just woke up. Cause I didn't get home till 4 something this morning 😩
    kaikae kaikae 22-25, F Oct 5

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    Sometimes when people bring me down I can't help but wish that I was stronger and didn't let their words and actions impact me so much. I'm a sensitive person, and if you say...
    xCherryCola xCherryCola 13-15, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    It's funny you know.. No being able to choose who you fall in love with. I wish I could of prevented the feelings I had for him. He was my best friend (funny how every story starts...
    justbreath12 justbreath12 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 29

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    He loves **** more than me. He decided he couldn't live without **** but could live without me. In his words, "the girls I look up are more physically attractive than you." Why...
    ladyhawk12 ladyhawk12 18-21, F 10 Responses Sep 30

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    I didn't wait until marriage because I thought that if I didn't do then I would never be loved but now I wish I could take it back and save it for someone I know that truly loves...
    nicol18 nicol18 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 9

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    He was quite easy on the eyes. Immediately, my body's chemical reaction took the reigns of what little self control I had at that time in my life. For weeks, I admired from afar...
    dancingsunz dancingsunz 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 3

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    Not missing out and made the right decision! When I left school going to college I really wanted to go to university so i made sure i got the top grades from school to make sure i...
    MilweePetite MilweePetite 18-21, F Oct 4

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    I was 20 years old and up to this point, I hadn't done anything with anyone. Part of it was lack of opportunity, part of it was the fact that I wanted to wait until I was married...
    ismalbergher ismalbergher 18-21, F 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Well I didn't think much of it. I was in fact only about 6 years old. But I knew you were special, even then. Perhaps it was the drawings you drew for me and I thought you were...
    catherineeac catherineeac 13-15, F Sep 22

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    And I'm glad I didn't...hope your glad you didn't get to
    livelovehopefree livelovehopefree 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 10

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    My most recent ex....I guess it was my fault that I'm hurt. I knew he was out of my league. I knew that he still had feelings for someone else. I knew that interracial...
    nikkiiic nikkiiic 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 11

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    There was this girl, we'll call Nikkie. Girl faked me out for over a year. We hung out quite a bit, texted everyday and really helped each other out. We've always been there for...
    goofysk8 goofysk8 22-25 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I met him in high school and we baca me good good good friends you would say we loved each other like family he would do anything for me but one day I was with him just hanging out...
    annirawrmuffin annirawrmuffin 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 20

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    This was my No.1 most painful thing I've ever gone through.. And before I say anything, most of you will notice my age and know its a very rare thing for (at the time) an 18 year...
    cupcakes1995 cupcakes1995 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 21

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    I was in love with this guy, Brandon, and at first, he loved me back. We used to imagine what our life would be like together when we were older, what college we would go to, where...
    auram59993 auram59993 13-15, F Sep 22

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    When I Let My Heart Break. I fell in love with my good friend and when I told him, he didn’t love me back (it hurt). We’ve never talked ever since. I still hang...
    rodeloves rodeloves 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 28

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    He was my best friend. The greatest friend anyone could ever have. And even while he cared deeply for me, he was in love with one of his closest friends, who was also a friend of...
    classicminx classicminx 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 28

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    Ok so I posted another experience/question a while ago and no one replied so I thought I would try again. I think I am in love with my best friends older brother. I have known...
    Coolquestinsgirl404 Coolquestinsgirl404 13-15 2 Responses Oct 5

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    Can't understand why he didn't love me back ..world full of ****!!
    ashtadidto ashtadidto 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 6

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    This was actually so heartbreaking, I didn't know what to think and still don't know what to think.. what did I do to deserve this?
    mattys1 mattys1 18-21, M Oct 6

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    Met you on those dating sites. Didn't think much of u at first. But slowly you wrapped me closer and closer to your heart. Our endless night owl conversations grasped my soul and...
    ucvel2488 ucvel2488 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 7

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    I didn't wait until marriage and I don't regret it one bit. I had a few men in my life before I found the man of my dreams. He is my everything and we have lived together for 2...
    dragthewaters4 dragthewaters4 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I was seventeen and nervous, but super excited. I did tons of research by myself and knew that I was happy making this decision with someone I loved and who genuinely loved me back...
    Ginkofishin Ginkofishin 18-21, F 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    I was 14 when I first had sex with my boyfriend. I was super nervous but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I read online that it'll hurt like hell etc etc etc but...
    TheOcarinaHero TheOcarinaHero 16-17, T 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    He said he did and he would forever. But it's been two weeks since we broke up and he's already trying to talk/date another girl. It really sucks because it will be the 3rd time...
    rubyy25 rubyy25 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 20

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