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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 140 People

    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M May 26

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 1 Response May 6, 2012

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Time to vent or whatever. Enjoy. January 28th, 2014... I met him. Where? Tumblr! Of course. I was typically following back some blogs and answering messages. Well, gosh, I...
    captivateyourlife captivateyourlife 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 6

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    I let him slip away... I know he was never ever mine... But I wish he did exist in my life... I really miss him!
    Mysticme Mysticme 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 12

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    Didn't know I existed more like. I would sit in class, in high school, and just find my self wanting to look at him, he is so handsome. I blush every time I have to speak in front...
    InMybubble InMybubble 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    LIE to my husband. I love and care about him deeply and I know he truly loves me too, but I feel like I can't be honest with him about certain things in my life (especially about...
    cjfkdg518 cjfkdg518 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    Junior in high school. He didn't mean a thing to me. I purposely got drunk because I knew id be too nervous to do it sober. Wish I had waited until I had been in love. My current...
    maddiejuliet maddiejuliet 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 4

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    I get what people are saying about how absence makes the heart grow stronger... But what are you to do when you have been with someone for 3 years and only see that person once or...
    alwayswondering07 alwayswondering07 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 3

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    It kind of sucks. You don't realize how crappy it is because you've put so much effort in-so clearly anyone would love that, right? Wrong. Loving him was so hard. I might not have...
    NoMoreTearsToni NoMoreTearsToni 18-21, F Aug 7

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    It's my birthday today, everyone wished me happy birthday except for it. This is the first time I didn't feel so happy during my birthday..
    greenflapper greenflapper 18-21, F 9 Responses Aug 9

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    When you live in a small town, you don't think about someone harming you...Everyone knows everybody, people are either very charming, reserved, or just take everyone for granted..I...
    prettyface1 prettyface1 46-50, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I loved this girl, I'll call her K. I liked this girl from the beginning of 8th grade and I kinda still have feelings for her. Me and K was in jazz band together and it was 2...
    brownzugar brownzugar 16-17, M 5 Responses Aug 10

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    He was a pretty italian boy. And he knew he was pretty. He wasn't dark like most italian boys. The smooth deep color of his completion made up for the egotistical boy he really was...
    skybaby0 skybaby0 18-21 4 Responses Aug 4

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    i had met this boy over the internet.. he was my best friend's ex ( she had left him cause she didn't love him). so he proposed and we met in a parc, he wasn't that handsome but...
    Ensamflicka Ensamflicka 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 8

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    I didn't have sex. He had an excuse, and I thoroughly believe it was divine intervention. One of my friends sent me a message to cease and desist my plans. I didn't, but God did...
    aepteewS aepteewS 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 10

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    Okay so I was in love with my best friend problem is he is also the (best friend of my ex),which is probably the worst thing ever but my ex didn't love me anyway so I guess that...
    maryamtssn24 maryamtssn24 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    I met a man on a dating site. As soon as we met, we hit it off. He was single, after getting a divorce from his wife of fourteen years. But as the relationship progressed, he would...
    mumziiii mumziiii 36-40, F Aug 18

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    So last night I was trying to get to sleep, but I just couldn't. I was thinking of him...He was the one that got away. He and I had crushes on each other in high school, which we...
    SpeakUpNow SpeakUpNow 26-30, F Aug 24

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    I have always been attracted to older men but I really stepped it up when I was 15. I started dating a man 15 years my senior. He treated me like his daughter and I treated him...
    kittygurl66 kittygurl66 26-30, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    I'm sorry. I didn't mean to avoid you like that. When you said hi to me, I felt afraid. Today was the first day of college . Giving someone the intention that I am the type of...
    Nethaera Nethaera 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    August 31, 2014 Sunday I've realized that in our 10years of being together maybe I give too much, there wasn't anything else for him to take and he got tired of me making him my...
    justwannabeliked justwannabeliked 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    He was older. He was my friends brother. And oh every girl in school must of wanted him. And gosh I thought I could never impress him. He made me want to like cars and motorcycles...
    Cozie Cozie 13-15, F 9 Responses Aug 5

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    I'm still in love with that boy that doesn't love me :( sometimes it would be easier if I didn't but I don't want the easy option. The pain that I feel is the only thing that makes...
    angelskyanderson angelskyanderson 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    I've kept a secret from you. You thought that I was perfect, but I'm far from it. I know I'm young and human, but that's no excuse. You my not understand. I don't know if this was...
    natashaxxs natashaxxs 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    I had unprotected sex two days ago I took plan b emergency birth control pills yesterday. He didn't come inside me I'm pretty sure. He pulled out but I'm still scared I thought I...
    misfitoutsider misfitoutsider 13-15, F 10 Responses Aug 22

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    I loves somebody that didn't love me,(or someone I had very strong feelings for) and I kinda regret it... I was somewhat played...
    DreadlockJesus DreadlockJesus 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 4

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    But you had to and I acted like it didn't bother me. I really wanted to tell you that I don't stay outside too long anymore 'cause I know that you're not there. I would always...
    tarantula0015 tarantula0015 18-21, F Aug 7

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    I've liked a few girls down the years that didn't like me, one or two I even thought I loved at the time. But looking back, I realise there was only one girl I really did love, I...
    bd693 bd693 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 8

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    My ex broke up with me because he realised he didn't love me, after we had been flirting for months and months. It is still as painful as the day he chose to end it and i still...
    Lilys3 Lilys3 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 15

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    Yeah no one wanted to go with me. And my friend tried to help me out but the guy didn't seem too interested and couldn't afford to go . So my parents drove me it was nice and at...
    CRizma7 CRizma7 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 16

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    Because my school didn't have prom. It was a mobile home with 10 students, after all. :P
    Whoami30 Whoami30 26-30, M Aug 18

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    Nah, most people I know didn't either. I'm not sure why anyone would to be honest. Sex isn't special, only people are.
    sunkern sunkern 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 20

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