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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 142 People

    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    All I am good for is the occasional pity laugh,

    a bad example, or to make others look better in comparison. No matter how much I try, I can't fix my life. I have never made any accomplishments that haven't been the direct work of someone else. People have always had to help me with challenges that I should be able to face...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M Sep 3

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M May 26

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    Related Experiences

    We have sent an electronic mail with Recommendations to make a new password. Your current password hasn't been transformed.Successful their initially residence sport is essential...
    Hiltonhn53 Hiltonhn53 31-35, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    You looked at me like you looked at me, but I didn't want you to look at me. I wanted you to look at me like I looked at you. I saw your soul. It was charismatic, if it ever were...
    modernmuse modernmuse 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I didn't wait... I don't really wish I did wait I was actually glad to get it over with. I'm glad I didn't do it much earlier ( I was 20) it really hurt still. I can only imagine...
    wetgoodnite wetgoodnite 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 3

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    When I first met you I never thought I'd develop feelings for you. To be honest when I first met you I thought you were kind annoying, you constantly bragged about yourself and...
    ariel2891 ariel2891 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 12

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    I didn't wait.. and I don't regret that. I do however wish it had been with somebody else. Does anybody regret not waiting or who they lost it to??
    NotFirstNotLast NotFirstNotLast 18-21, F 7 Responses Sep 14

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    y,y I regretted since the ever first time it felt so awkward, out of place, and wrong!!!! >,< 8( I wish I would have ignored my instincts, and emotions.... Because they were...
    SabrinaRavenCroft SabrinaRavenCroft 18-21, T 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    When you live in a small town, you don't think about someone harming you...Everyone knows everybody, people are either very charming, reserved, or just take everyone for granted..I...
    prettyface1 prettyface1 46-50, F 5 Responses Aug 26

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    I was 17, it was 4/20. We weren't dating. He was just a friend I've known for awhile & we were supposed to hangout after school. We we're supposed to get high & I was already...
    Jnicole19 Jnicole19 18-21, F 7 Responses Sep 2

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    Ah this is the worse experience in my life to be honest. A while a go my best friend went to Ibiza to work for a few months and in that time I became really good friends with his...
    jaymes14 jaymes14 18-21, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    So last night I was trying to get to sleep, but I just couldn't. I was thinking of him...He was the one that got away. He and I had crushes on each other in high school, which we...
    SpeakUpNow SpeakUpNow 26-30, F Aug 24

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    I have always been attracted to older men but I really stepped it up when I was 15. I started dating a man 15 years my senior. He treated me like his daughter and I treated him...
    kittygurl66 kittygurl66 26-30, F 8 Responses Aug 25

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    I'm sorry. I didn't mean to avoid you like that. When you said hi to me, I felt afraid. Today was the first day of college . Giving someone the intention that I am the type of...
    Nethaera Nethaera 18-21, F Aug 26

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    August 31, 2014 Sunday I've realized that in our 10years of being together maybe I give too much, there wasn't anything else for him to take and he got tired of me making him my...
    justwannabeliked justwannabeliked 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 30

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    There was a guy I really liked, or should I say loved. I guess you can say that I was truly, madly, deeply in love with him. I'd do anything for him. But he didn't like me back. He...
    RosemaryIdaho RosemaryIdaho 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 8

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    I totally gave it away to the wrong man when I was 16, but glad I didn't wait until marriage. I got to learn what it was that I liked (and didn't) and had the ability to explore...
    canadagirl0101 canadagirl0101 31-35, F 9 Responses Sep 14

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    and it's a good thing it didn't work out because then I never would've met my wonderful husband and had three wonderful children. And as for the guy I loved who didn't love me? He...
    lauren71 lauren71 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    One more so my cheating gf left me on a Friday and told me a bunch of bs saying she will always be here for me and she wants to be my best friend we'll come to find out I got her...
    Chris0707 Chris0707 31-35, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Well I didn't think much of it. I was in fact only about 6 years old. But I knew you were special, even then. Perhaps it was the drawings you drew for me and I thought you were...
    catherineeac catherineeac 13-15, F 1 day ago

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    When does it stop? I fell in love with a guy when I was 14. Fourteen! We never went out, we were hardly even friends. I'm pretty sure he had feelings for me back then. A part of...
    LipstickShield LipstickShield 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 27

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    it is important to wait until you find someone who you truly love. Im 15 and didn't wait but i understand the consequences of this experience. Everyone thinks I'm too young to...
    irinacedeno irinacedeno 13-15, F 8 Responses Aug 29

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    I loved someone who wasn't ready to be in love. We were young and I totally understand it now. At the time I felt so empty and I let it all take over my life. I dislike how I dealt...
    InfiniteSunshine InfiniteSunshine 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 30

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    It's funny how your heart will yearn for that which it can't have. Funnier still how people will take advantage of that. I loved him. He knew it. I told him so. He said it back...
    Thekidsmom Thekidsmom 36-40, F 9 Responses Sep 1

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    Sooo you were like my dream boy first year, and you let your friends **** with your head because they don't like interracial relationships, and you let your stupid "girl friends...
    xRockGlossPrincessx xRockGlossPrincessx 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 11

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    When I first met him I thought he was just a player, I planned on hooking up with him and just breaking up at the end of the summer, I didn't see anything special about him. But I...
    crookedteethteen crookedteethteen 13-15, F Sep 13

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    To me she was perfect although they told me she wasn't. Her smile her laugh made them laugh at her but I smiled and laughed with her but no matter what I did she just didn't feel...
    Gian422 Gian422 18-21, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    And I'm glad I didn't! The world is not ready for the untamed, the wild or the inquisitive, it (or we) make lots of people uneasy just because we don't conform to the idealistic...
    onebrightday onebrightday 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    A few years back, I fell in love with a friend of mine, another guy. I didn't understand the feeling I had, and I confessed to him, not to get with him or anything, but to expose...
    thecr00cible thecr00cible 18-21, M 1 Response a week ago

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    He was a great person. He was funny and made me laugh when I was down. But he didn't love me he cheated on me for someone that looked better than me. I was heart broken. I am...
    darrencrissxoxo darrencrissxoxo 13-15, M 2 days ago

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    I met him in high school and we baca me good good good friends you would say we loved each other like family he would do anything for me but one day I was with him just hanging out...
    annirawrmuffin annirawrmuffin 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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