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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 224 People

    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 16-17, M Jan 28, 2014

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    LoveIsInTheBlood LoveIsInTheBlood 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    I'm tired of being a life im really tired what

    a life i have. My brother cant keep secrets and keeps and always lie my mother is always mad at me and the most mad is at me my dad lies to. My cousin gets mad at me and my small cousin named jonnathan 5 years old majes me angry all the time i visit him now i now what a life is...
    yosua yosua 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 9, 2014

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 16-17, M Mar 21, 2014

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    When things are tough sometimes we convince

    ourselves that the way to be strong is to shut everyone out.
    Bg3242 Bg3242 13-15, F Jul 19

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    scissorovacomb scissorovacomb 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 18

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2014

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2014

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    All I am good for is the occasional pity laugh,

    a bad example, or to make others look better in comparison. No matter how much I try, I can't fix my life. I have never made any accomplishments that haven't been the direct work of someone else. People have always had to help me with challenges that I should be able to face...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2014

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    Compared to everyone I know of I don't

    even think I accomplished 5% of what they have achieved in life. I feel so useless, I feel like I can't do anything right, everything I try to do-- it just ends up as a complete messed up failure. I've been having lots of drama with my male friends. My gf that I've been with for...
    LifeSuxorz LifeSuxorz 26-30 1 Response Sep 25, 2014

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I loved someone. I chased after them. I was teased and tortured because they liked the attention I gave. The final rejection was hard and I realized "I deserve someone who wants me...
    starlight1006 starlight1006 22-25, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I've always enjoyed a really good physical side to my relationship with my girlfriend. Sex is something incredibly special to me with her. It's very easy to get carried away during...
    Tomgerine Tomgerine 22-25, M 1 day ago

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    First loves are so memorable. I'll never forget how stupid I was to fall for a guy that I blindly put on a pedestal where he didn't belong. Nevertheless, I loved him. I lived for...
    MissEurydice MissEurydice 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm shell shocked today. I came across a hard drive with all my computer pix dating back to 2004. My wedding, the births of my children, our moves from house to house, our...
    BrandysGood BrandysGood 31-35, F 10 Responses 2 days ago

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    Today was kind of a lazy day for me and I really didn't do anything productive today. It was raining all day so I couldn't go swimming so instead I just laid on the couch all day...
    hannahphillips hannahphillips 13-15, F 3 days ago

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    So were going to start the next part. So after that, McDonald's episode. Everything went back to normal or as normal as things can be when you're in love with a guy, you can't...
    MissOreoX MissOreoX 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I think I have a problem. I'm in love with my teacher. He has two kids and a wife. Sadly I've met them, his kids are the sweetest thing in the world. One's 5 now and the other...
    MissOreoX MissOreoX 18-21, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I love someone that didn't love me, it was the worst relationship I had ever had and somewhere deep inside me I still loved her. I put up with all her disrespect and lying and the...
    talaunanna talaunanna 16-17, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    How do you get over a situation like this?? I fell in love with someone who didn't honestly love me back. But he always said he meant it until the last time he got mad at you and...
    cutemonkey cutemonkey 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I met Jeff* at work, and there was instant chemistry. I was still getting over my last serious relationship when he first attempted to ask me out, so I resisted, even though it...
    ashadams244 ashadams244 26-30, F 5 days ago

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    I was 14. It was May and I became a really big sleaze. I lead a lot of guys on. I knew my sister had already been caught and we both got the lecture. My mom put us both on birth...
    kaille2 kaille2 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I was totally in Love and he still does not even know I exist!!! Jan-Micheal Vincent was a hunky hollywood leading man the first time I saw him in 1980. The Movie was Defiance...
    LadyGypsy LadyGypsy 36-40, F 6 days ago

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    wish I may, wish I might either way I can't change what I feel like.
    Azureal Azureal 26-30, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I have been in a merry go round relationship with the father my children for over 7 years now. we break up and he goes back to his ex and then once they are not in a good place he...
    Hilltrini Hilltrini 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 26

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    And boy if there is anything I would go back and change, it would be this. I absolutely wish I wouldn't have been so stupid. I was young. Too young to be even considering these...
    HappilyMrsLetson HappilyMrsLetson 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    totally didn't wait, married my first everything, right out of high school, marriage only made it seven years, had a beautiful daughter. Learned from my mistakes and had great life...
    mrsrshaw mrsrshaw 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 26

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    Back when I was in Middle School. I knew this boy he was a sophomore. We went to school together he eventually left the school obviously because he was older. I didn't feel pretty...
    Mustbethesneaks Mustbethesneaks 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 26

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    I loved someone that didn't love me
    Ryderz Ryderz 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 25

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    I didn't wait till marriage but am married now. I had only six partners before 5 guys 1 girl. Now I'm at around 30, my husband and I both love it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 18 Responses Jul 25

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