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I Wish I Didn't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 142 People

    That way I couldn't hurt anyone

    and I wouldn't have to feel pain. I wouldn't love 2 people at once. I wouldn't love my gf who is crazy about me. I wouldn't love my ex best friend who hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore. I have lost my mind in regards to my ex best friend. She wants nothing to do with me...
    cajunGirl14 cajunGirl14 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    I'm Beyond Pathetic

    I can't even pull the trigger when I hold a gun to my head. I want to be a writer, or an artist, or something I would enjoy. Problem is I can't do anything I enjoy. So instead I just sulk and make everyone around me miserable, and cut words into my skin like some ritual. I'm...
    SirAlexanderWolfgang SirAlexanderWolfgang 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    because for every good thing

    that makes me love being alive, there are a bunch of negative things surrounding me...and I am not depressed or anything, I don't intend to kill myself just yet, because I can still find excitement in life and i can still move around and not depend on anyone...but most of the...
    retarfrenu retarfrenu 31-35, M 1 Response May 26

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    It's not that I wish it.

    I don't. The stupid hand dryer in my school bathroom didn't turn on and so I left and it worked for the girl after and before me. And the stupid automatic doors for stores didn't open for me. Today's been a very crappy day. I guess I really don't exist. I mean, I'm posting my...
    greenday83 greenday83 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    Less and Less Convincing

    The only reason to live your life is because it's yours. But what if such an answer becomes less and less convincing?  This is a Julian Barnes quote, a contemporary British author who clearly knows something about such things.  I feel damaged and deficient...
    lokilux lokilux 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

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    cursedjelly cursedjelly 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 6

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    People...

    I recently went to a grocery store where I shop quite often on my way to a now former friend's place. The cashier began the typical small talk. "What are you up to today?" she asked. Instead of my usual answer of "nothing", I decided to speak the truth because I was in a rare...
    Xanthion Xanthion 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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    Things Would Have Been Better

    Seriously. I shouldn't exist. I was never meant to. I was conceived because my parents slept together without protection and my mom couldn't afford an abortion. Everything went downhill from there. The two sides of my family hated each other. I didn't meet my paternal family...
    BelleofApril BelleofApril 18-21, F Aug 4, 2013

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    Right Now.. I Wish I Didnt Exist.

    i wish life was about who we are on the inside. underneath the clothes and fear. i wish people could value and love one another. right now i want to run awaay from everything. several people have told me the world would be better without me. maybe thats true. maybe i should just...
    amandailiana91 amandailiana91 18-21 1 Response May 6, 2012

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    Just Can't Stay Happy...

    Over the past week, I've been feeling more and more depressed. I've just started at a university that is about 1900 miles away from home, so I know nobody, and I feel like the loneliness is crushing me.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the idea of...
    unbelievablylonely unbelievablylonely 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    Shipwreck Sub

    I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to talk on forever. I just need to get it out of my system. This is my first post, please be nice. This isn't a story that is at all exciting or dramatically sad. I am not sure why I have decided to tell this. Perhaps the emptiness...
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    I'm too scared to kill myself

    but I'm terrified of the future. I honestly think everything would be better if I was just never a thing that happened.
    ahsfan445 ahsfan445 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    Obligated

    My brother died December 28th. He had an enlarged heart, which we now know runs in the family. I'm supposed to get regular checkups now and, honestly, why should I live when he didn't? I felt like living was an obligation before, he actually enjoyed life, 21 years old, just...
    Jan 19, 2013

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    My Life

    All the things that twirl around in my life the one thing that solves it all is: I WISH I DIDN’T EXIST :D it’s the best way to solve all my problems!
    isobella121 isobella121 13-15, F Mar 7, 2013

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    I wish, I didn't exist.

    I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can be free. I love, the way you made me feel. Too late, my wounds will never heal.
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    i just wish that i didn't.

    Life is a unique and one of a kind opportunity and existing is being able to experience the only thing we'll ever know. But I just wish I wasn't here. It's not that I want to die, per say. I guess I do. I don't want to kill myself but I wouldn't be opposed to unexpectedly dying...
    bananapajam bananapajam 13-15, M Jan 28

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    Why?

    I work hard in track! Don't get put in races! I try hard in school! Don't get good grades! I try to eat better! I get fatter! I be a good friend! I get shut out of groups! What am I doing wrong?
    kmg0822 kmg0822 16-17 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    Google?

    I typed I wish I didn't exist into google to see if I could find anyone else like me. There is not a day that goes by that I beg God to just take me please. Everyday I pray. I know what I should do [meaning what society says] is that I should put my trust in God that life will...
    whocaresanymore whocaresanymore 16-17 5 Responses Oct 5, 2008

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    I Might Have Bipolar Disorder

    I have strange noises going inside my head. I cry every time when people yell at me. Pictures can be strange in my head and can distract me at school, I have trouble sleeping, my mom tells me to read the the bible to make me sleep but it does not work, I  have a bad attitude...
    lonelygurl555 lonelygurl555 13-15 3 Responses May 9, 2011

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    I wish I could travel back in time

    and make sure my mother never got pregnant with me.
    ifonlydreamscametrue ifonlydreamscametrue 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 23

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    Related Experiences

    Time to vent or whatever. Enjoy. January 28th, 2014... I met him. Where? Tumblr! Of course. I was typically following back some blogs and answering messages. Well, gosh, I...
    captivateyourlife captivateyourlife 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 6

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    I let him slip away... I know he was never ever mine... But I wish he did exist in my life... I really miss him!
    Mysticme Mysticme 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 12

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    Didn't know I existed more like. I would sit in class, in high school, and just find my self wanting to look at him, he is so handsome. I blush every time I have to speak in front...
    InMybubble InMybubble 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Love doesn't exist. Boys and girls can't love anymore. I wish it was the way it used to be. But sex has become to much of a priority for people.
    cassiecollins cassiecollins 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    LIE to my husband. I love and care about him deeply and I know he truly loves me too, but I feel like I can't be honest with him about certain things in my life (especially about...
    cjfkdg518 cjfkdg518 41-45, F 4 days ago

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    Junior in high school. He didn't mean a thing to me. I purposely got drunk because I knew id be too nervous to do it sober. Wish I had waited until I had been in love. My current...
    maddiejuliet maddiejuliet 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 4

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    I get what people are saying about how absence makes the heart grow stronger... But what are you to do when you have been with someone for 3 years and only see that person once or...
    alwayswondering07 alwayswondering07 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 3

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    It kind of sucks. You don't realize how crappy it is because you've put so much effort in-so clearly anyone would love that, right? Wrong. Loving him was so hard. I might not have...
    NoMoreTearsToni NoMoreTearsToni 18-21, F Aug 7

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    So me and my " BOYFRIEND " had been together for about 2 years before I lost my v card ! He was very patient and he didn't force or rush me into anything I didn't want to do. As...
    Lovelyx2 Lovelyx2 18-21, F 6 Responses Jul 26

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    It's my birthday today, everyone wished me happy birthday except for it. This is the first time I didn't feel so happy during my birthday..
    greenflapper greenflapper 18-21, F 10 Responses Aug 9

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    Hey guys! :) I just recently broke up with my boyfriend who was emotionally and physically abusive to me. He had abused every part of me....mentally, physically, sexually and...
    nixielizabeth nixielizabeth 22-25, F 7 Responses Jul 29

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    Because I didn't know better! And this torments me all the time even though about, 14 yrs has pass! Yup crazy I guess but can't get over the fact because, I was 13 and he was 19...
    mrscasillas28 mrscasillas28 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 24

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    So I was dating a soldier for almost a year (one month from a year when he broke up with me). We were perfectly happy before he let for annual training. Two weeks into it he calls...
    ArmyNakata ArmyNakata 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 30

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    I loved this girl, I'll call her K. I liked this girl from the beginning of 8th grade and I kinda still have feelings for her. Me and K was in jazz band together and it was 2...
    brownzugar brownzugar 16-17, M 5 Responses Aug 10

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    He told me he loved me everyday, and I knew he didn't. I just didn't believe it. I wanted to hear it from him, but all he said was " I love you too " I saw the way he looked at...
    MaddyAlexis MaddyAlexis 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 23

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    I didn't wait until marriage. I was 17 an he was 23. I didn't regret it, and still dont, but the way he treats me now, i love him unconditionally, yet he fails to even try an talk...
    happyconfused212 happyconfused212 18-21, T 3 Responses Jul 24

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    Thank you so much for those who will read this entire experience. I lost my virginity about a year ago. It was fun, as i expected. I didn't regret it then, and I haven't regretted...
    imallhers imallhers 13-15, M 3 Responses Jul 24

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    And I also didn't wait nearly long enough into the relationship. Of course, in my head, I pulled the whole "it doesn't matter that we've only been dating a couple weeks because we...
    jonicole jonicole 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 25

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    it was the saddest experience of my life but my mum told me it happens at lease once in some ones life they person said they didn't love me they just liked me and I felt so sad I...
    Angel2345 Angel2345 13-15, F Jul 26

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    Worst moment of my life .. I was 17 when lost my virginity to a guy who was one of my brother friends. it lasted like 3 mins although it didn't hurt much i cried cause the thought...
    danyel92 danyel92 18-21, F 9 Responses Jul 31

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    He was a pretty italian boy. And he knew he was pretty. He wasn't dark like most italian boys. The smooth deep color of his completion made up for the egotistical boy he really was...
    skybaby0 skybaby0 18-21 4 Responses Aug 4

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    i had met this boy over the internet.. he was my best friend's ex ( she had left him cause she didn't love him). so he proposed and we met in a parc, he wasn't that handsome but...
    Ensamflicka Ensamflicka 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 8

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    I didn't have sex. He had an excuse, and I thoroughly believe it was divine intervention. One of my friends sent me a message to cease and desist my plans. I didn't, but God did...
    aepteewS aepteewS 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 10

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    Okay so I was in love with my best friend problem is he is also the (best friend of my ex),which is probably the worst thing ever but my ex didn't love me anyway so I guess that...
    maryamtssn24 maryamtssn24 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    I met a man on a dating site. As soon as we met, we hit it off. He was single, after getting a divorce from his wife of fourteen years. But as the relationship progressed, he would...
    mumziiii mumziiii 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    He was older. He was my friends brother. And oh every girl in school must of wanted him. And gosh I thought I could never impress him. He made me want to like cars and motorcycles...
    Cozie Cozie 13-15, F 9 Responses Aug 5

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    I've kept a secret from you. You thought that I was perfect, but I'm far from it. I know I'm young and human, but that's no excuse. You my not understand. I don't know if this was...
    natashaxxs natashaxxs 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I'm 15 years old... But I lost my virginity at 13. I know. "****" is that you're thinking. No, I hated myself. & I knew boys didn't like me. So I thought, maybe if I give them...
    MaddyAlexis MaddyAlexis 13-15, F 14 Responses Jul 23

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    I didn't wait until marriage. But I found someone who still loves and accepts me. ❤️❤️
    ahaydonh ahaydonh 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 23

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