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I Wish I Knew Why Im So Messed Up

A groupto share freely about our faults and imperfections. 223 People

    My whole life I have struggled with severe

    social anxiety. In the past year I have had to struggle with my social anxiety worsening along with depression that I've had for 4 years, regular anxiety, OCD, panic attacks and have been diagnosed with a chronic stomach illness that has kept me in immense pain for the past year...
    alaskamxrie alaskamxrie 16-17, F 4 Responses May 20

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    Like what happened to me down the line,

    I never used to be so messed in the head but now I cant stop thinking of all the wrong things, I just wish life would return to normal
    Verix Verix 18-21, M Jul 26

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    HidingTheScars HidingTheScars 13-15, F May 3

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    I would love to be normal

    and stop being a "crazy" person that I have been called and known as. It would make my life easier.
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    I sorta know why I'm messed up.

    I like serial killers, used to have a burn book, imagined killing people and other random creepy shizzle... XD
    JustAKittenArmy JustAKittenArmy 13-15, F 3 Responses Feb 18

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    I've been trying for a while.

    To be happy and optimistic. I always said, "Oh I have time." Except I don't cause it goes by way too quickly. Everyone around me is fine. Love, kids, husbands and wives and weddings and births. I have nothing really cause when those things happen friends who don't have them too...
    KatNW KatNW 22-25, F May 1

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    I made a horrible mistake years ago,

    and it has affected my life to this day. Now, there's a voice in my head that keeps telling me that I am nothing but a monster. And the uncomfortable thing is that I know it is true.
    katfished katfished 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    tatikapaya tatikapaya 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    Step Inside

    I'm standing still, staring at myself, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I think about the ugly person that I am, that I have become. I wonder how I came to be this way, how I got lost and things went awry, how my path deviated to this direction. Where did I go wrong? I...
    lacedup77 lacedup77 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 7, 2012

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    I have a chance to talk to a really hot guy

    and I mess it up talking about my family issues **** my life I scared another person off
    neonpinkcupcakelover neonpinkcupcakelover 16-17, F Nov 23

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    I have so many health problems,

    ugh. It saddens me. I just feel like I'm freaking crazy. It's a struggle.
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 18-21, F 1 Response May 20

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    Why can't I just be a normal person like my

    friends when they get older they have there whole life planned what college what job every thing! And it's all perfectly planned. When are teacher in fourth grade which was a long Time ago said what do you wanna be when you grow up. I said a youtuber and she said right to my...
    Englishmuffin15 Englishmuffin15 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    I'm detoxing I've stayed strong I'm very dizzy

    felling I probably need medical supervision can't afford it I'm On my own I've gone a long way to turn back now my mind is giving me every reason to use I feel so dizzy can't barely do any thing I need people to help me out a little bit I'm having a hard time right now
    jollybeard jollybeard 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 27

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    I mean seriously how did I get depression,

    anxiety, and anorexia. I also probably have more wrong with me...great. With the anorexia oh my god I broke down 3 times at the mall. Cause you know I felt so big I was going to explode but when I got home and showered I noticed what I felt was false, I have bones in my back...
    BooBear99 BooBear99 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 15

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    Is it wrong I'm proud of the fact I haven't

    eaten in 24 hours:( I don't want to slip back into old habits again:(
    dearnobody dearnobody 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    It Truly Is A Mystery.

    .... Oh Well! ^^
    ThatOneGothKidxD ThatOneGothKidxD 13-15, M Aug 17

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    Why is it no matter what I do I get blamed?

    Blamed for very thin nothing is ever his fault it's always mine I'm the bad guy he spends $120 on a dirt bike part and i now can't afford Easter for my four kids I know money ain't everything but there happiness is to me and to see them on Easter morning from the Easter bunny...
    mommaof3boys1girl mommaof3boys1girl 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 13

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    My life is so f...ed!

    Let's see my dad died in June 2010 followed by my husband informing me he had been having an affair with my friend and left me and my 2 sons.he kept coming back home and leaving 20 times actually.woman came after me running me off the road lying to police about me.i got...
    Pommy8 Pommy8 51-55, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    I'm really ****** up.

    I don't know why but I know I am.
    sadiegirl347 sadiegirl347 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    Related Experiences

    Well, I always get asked why im so quiet, when i was in elementary school i would always be alone at recces, i would always eat alone in lunch, i would always work alone in class...
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    62nd post. Well here I am again, and I live to see another day. Nobody killed me and I didn't kill anybody, and I guess today I feel like it was all just a dream. It's easy to...
    rana3434 rana3434 36-40, F 1 hr ago

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    It's sad to think that the only thing in my mind is how come I can't find anything better to cut with. I wish I knew the reasons why I don't feel anything anymore, im depressed and...
    AdrieStani AdrieStani 16-17, F Nov 29

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    Ive been working hard to prep for our first TG together at our place. We have been together 8 years. Married 3 years this past October. Our parents are coming over. We have...
    DesireHappy DesireHappy 41-45, F Nov 27

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    27th post. So basically my husband bashed me for years and years. There were things thrown at me such as plates, glass ashtrays, tables, punches, choking, whatever he felt like at...
    rana3434 rana3434 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 30

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    I wish my family knew that my brother molested me since I was 3 till I was 9. I wish they understood my anger towards my brother and why I verbally abuse him rather than thinking...
    Karinas2 Karinas2 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 4

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    I hate that I keep trying to keep our relationship going when he doesn't even want to be with me :( I'm tired of forcing this. I hate myself..it's all my fault :'( I wish I could...
    Rdelat Rdelat 18-21, F 2 hrs ago

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    17th post...Let me start this post with a little apology. I take antidepressants, and they have kept me from, metaphorically speaking, pulling the trigger. But one of the downsides...
    rana3434 rana3434 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 24

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    60th post. I hope everyone takes the time to read this post. This happened about half an hour ago, but let me start at the beginning. It's Sunday 2.20am when I started writing this...
    rana3434 rana3434 36-40, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    18th post. For anyone who has been following my posts this one is a must read. I am shaking and my hands are sweating bullets because I know this is the truth of it all. The actual...
    rana3434 rana3434 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 24

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    Clearly, my husband and I are having problems. Last night I found out he has been doing drugs behind my back. I'm not sure what to do. I am livid, disappointed and heart broken. We...
    IFOS125 IFOS125 22-25, F Nov 30

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    My parents were teenagers (17). When my mother was pregnant with me, my father's parents moved (with him) to another state. My grandma kept his correspondence to my mom and left my...
    aakkiii aakkiii 41-45 Dec 8

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    I met him when I was fresh out of high school. I moved to a new town following old and dear friends into the belly of the beast. A spontaneous and trendy city, and I was ready to...
    dandelionsandlighthouses dandelionsandlighthouses 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 11

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    I wish I could have forgotten my past and then ran away far away. My sister is a wrong and messed up jerk, my family didn't pay much attention to me and so I felt hated, I have no...
    Butterking47 Butterking47 18-21 1 Response Nov 25

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    I'm very sensitive. I'm very vulnerable. I get hurt all the time. Every little thing hurts me. I tend to overthink a lot. I wish I was mentally stronger. I'm emotionally messed up...
    stopthepainnow stopthepainnow 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 6

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    56th post..This will be my last post on the Sydney siege. 2 innocent lives were lost early this morning, as a selfish individual stormed a coffee shop and decided to play God for a...
    rana3434 rana3434 36-40, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I so wish I could turn back time to when I was little or to a few months ago when everything was fine with my parent's :( everything is messed up and yet I'm been stuck in the...
    westlife213 westlife213 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    I have to tell you the reason why I am the way I am. I am the way I am (crazy) because I have something wrong with my brain. And yes, I actually do belong in a mental hospital...
    AleaAndLexi AleaAndLexi 13-15, F 4 hrs ago

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    The only way I know to get over someone is to hate them but it isn't working. It's so selfish and pathetic but I wonder if he misses me like I miss him? Was it the same for him...
    ShyGuy990 ShyGuy990 22-25, M Nov 24

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    I love her im not lesbian but someone said I was possessive as if a mother would be and what he said helped but I still can't get over that I'd do anything for them. I'll protect...
    AlphasMate AlphasMate 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    Addiction made me ignore the most important thing in the world to me. I wish wish wish I knew then that I was wasting the most important year of my life.
    Kimbizz Kimbizz 46-50, F 2 Responses Nov 28

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    30th post. So this is the second instance of abuse, that I mentioned in post 28. Here goes. I was at our place of business at the time, and I would do evenings there to help out as...
    rana3434 rana3434 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 2

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    Anyone else stay up all night and sleep all day. At night I'm always thinking about pointless things and my mind is running a mile a minute. I wish I didn't think so much.
    camtilson camtilson 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I wish I knew what my passion was. I see people with this drive and I wish I had some. I am involved with a lot but nothing I would say I'm passionate about. I'm not a detail kind...
    KRam42 KRam42 36-40, M Nov 29

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    The title of this post says it all. I wish I knew then what I know now. I know that I am still very young, and this will probably apply when I'm older, but I can still see just how...
    Heresmystory Heresmystory 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 30

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    Ugh, every since we got wifi I've been messed up! Id spend most nights on the internet just being a twitter freak, got over that eventually but it was too late, my sleeping...
    daniebravo daniebravo 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 2

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    Despite how many times I tell myself that I am going to bed early and end up staying till like 1AM on a school night is unbelievable. Like honestly I wake up at 6:40AM and...
    colourfulskeleton colourfulskeleton 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    so...because of my ****** nap dream yesterday I was up till like 9ish. in the am. then...I slept like the dead. luckily I took enough sleep aids that I didn't dream. I still feel...
    ZombieBaitMaiden ZombieBaitMaiden 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 11

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    You know that feeling you get when you really REALLY messed up and you don't know if you can fix it? That's the absolute worst. Especially when other people are involved. I...