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I Wish I Was Dead Most of the Time

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 400 People

    A Painful Laugh - I spoke to a old associate of mine today and she said "I am happy things are better for you now" I thanked her, laughed, and in my head I thought "Man I must be...
    theezy5 theezy5 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Gone - I hate myself.If you really knew me you'd probably hate me too. I long for death like someone drowning is desperate for air. I've already attempted suicide. I'll never...
    Everlong1841 Everlong1841 16-17 1 Response Mar 26, 2012

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    I find it difficult to put into words. Most days i regret that i am alive. At the present time i feel so ill, i want and wait for something to happen. I don't know what i want to...
    mmtyisaf mmtyisaf 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 10

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    Wishing I Was Dead Every Day - I am more afraid of failing and ending up in hospital where they will surely lock me up and throw away the key than I am of succeeding and...
    absolom absolom 36-40 2 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    I Really Can't Believe I'm Doing This - I don't know what help this will give me but here goes nothing. Or everything, I can't really tell the difference anymore. I want to die...
    stopitstopit stopitstopit 26-30 1 Response Oct 28, 2013

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    Kill Me Please.. - I just want this end. I want to die and just be a peace and not have to deal with these thoughts in my head anymore. But I'm too much of a coward I don't even...
    xBrickWallx xBrickWallx 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    I Wish I Could Disappear - I'm so glad I found this forum. For years, I have struggled with depression. It literally hurts. I get accused of whining when I try to explain how I...
    kmorris12 kmorris12 36-40 1 Response Aug 16, 2013

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    Waking up each day becomes more and more of a chore, sometime's I can't think of a valid reason to wake up. I'm stupid, lazy, fat, worthless, and can't do anything right. Failure...
    xDeadspacex xDeadspacex 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 28

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    Degenerate Gambler - I have been gambling my whole adult life. I attempted suicide several times. i tried to hang myself but i pulled myself up. my neighbor shot himself last...
    rocktaz rocktaz 41-45 1 Response Oct 9, 2012

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    I have no reason to. I have a relatively easy life. I wake up in the morning in a warm and clean bed. I have hot and cold running water. And yet, I can't bring myself to have the...
    Patronusmagic Patronusmagic 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 6, 2013

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    Misery That Goes On And On, 20+ Years Now - I'm 43 years old and have felt miserable for very many of my days since I was 14. I don't get the people that say that feeling this bad...
    sleeo sleeo 41-45, M Nov 30, 2013

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    Me Too..... - I spent the last 12 years of my life pursued in academic endeavors. I obtained my undergrad, grad, and then PhD. Became a postdoc researcher at a prestigious...
    skeptic80 skeptic80 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 19, 2013

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    Yesterday I Wrote A Note... - ...and left it for my wife to find. I went and laid down on my bed. She wouldn't't be home for another 6 hours; plenty of time to stop breathing and...
    Embrel Embrel 26-30, M 5 Responses Apr 5, 2010

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    Pratik - Today someone knocked me down..broke my trust I guess i did the same to a very dear friend of mine..so its coming back to me... I am sorry pratik You are an amazing person...
    kiaradesai14 kiaradesai14 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2013

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    Loneliness In A Sea Of People - I feel as though I'm some kind of cosmic mistake because I don't fit here. I find the world to be a very ugly and hideous place that hides behind a...
    steffany85 steffany85 51-55, F 1 Response Oct 24, 2013

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    Unhappy - Well believe it or not, I am REALLY unhappy with myself... I always think I'm too fat, not pretty at all, and not good enough for anyone.. And whenever I talk about this...
    BeautifulNightmarex BeautifulNightmarex 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    There's really no reason for me to be alive. I'm an apathetic idiot and a waste of air. I have no passion, interests, or joy. I'll probably never have friends again. I've given up...
    bambionroids bambionroids 22-25 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Life Is Good. Why Am I Depressed? - I am 26 year old mechanical engineer. I am smart, creative, strong and muscular, good looking, excellent at sports, have lots of friends, a...
    superstellarian1 superstellarian1 26-30, M 8 Responses Aug 1, 2013

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    Why Choose A Permanent Solution To A Temporary Problem? - reading and writing stuff on a random website can only help in certain ways in certain circumstances . . .I feel MORE...
    dispossessed dispossessed 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    I Can't Take It. - I give without receiving. I love without keeping. Every breath I take lacks meaning. My smile can be deceiving. I fake it till I make it, but there is no end...
    JewBoss JewBoss 18-21, M Nov 5, 2013

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    I already did this but it did not work so I am repeating myself. I am so tired of trying to be normal. I try and try and try and keep doing to the same to be like I was. But I...
    sdemeuse sdemeuse 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    My Wish For Death!......cut Short - so at 20 you should be out enjoying yourself right? well for me it's the total oposite! for about 3 years now i've been depressed. Nobody...
    MissDeBudlieAY MissDeBudlieAY 18-21 3 Responses Sep 24, 2011

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    Burned.. All Burned - Imagine all that you have created. Something that would create a mark of your passage here in life. All those materials things that meant some intellectual...
    Onemorestep Onemorestep 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 5, 2013

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    Can't Take Any More - I spent some time last night imagining what it might be like to die.  I think I'd have to take pills.  I tried slitting my wrists when I was a...
    cssoulsearching cssoulsearching 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 5, 2010

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    5 Years Of Torment. - Where do i begin, had a great life, wife, 2 great kids a thriving business and the world seemed to by my oyster but this has turned out to be a clam. A big...
    despair4life despair4life 41-45 5 Responses Nov 14, 2012

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    Hell On Earth - can't wait to get to the "other" side. after almost 50 years this planet sucks. moreso each and every day.
    totallyuseless totallyuseless 46-50 Oct 13, 2013

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    Darkness Consumes - Heh. They say "kids are to young to be depressed." They tell us, "you think life is hard now, wait till later." **** what they say. I'm a worthless 15 year old...
    StormyStabber StormyStabber 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    One Bad Day - Being depressed isn't new to me. I grew up with a lot of repression from a lot of bad experiences, lived in terrible places where everyone is some brand of messed up...
    SourPennies SourPennies 18-21 1 Response Aug 3, 2013

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    I'm Too Chicken But - I fantasize about it a lot. Getting a gun and holding it in my mouth and just shooting the trigger, going to the tracks or finding a bridge. Those would be my...
    Alinge Alinge 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    What Have I Done - I am very unsure of me i have been down 90% of my life tried taking it a few times when i was younger only to wake in hospitals or the floor alone the false...
    justend justend 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    Mum Died - This may sound silly, but since my mum died I just wish I could stop breathing, I can't carry on. I'm 47 and my mum was 69 when she died 5 months ago. I work with...
    alonegff alonegff 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 1, 2013

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    Im Sorry... - i hate when someone says to me that im strong,how would you know that? how? you dont even know me,so dont say that im strong,im not. if i was i wouldnt take self harm...
    gystrong gystrong 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    Life is good. Why am I depressed? Story continues...
    superstellarian1 superstellarian1 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 21

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    There are times where I assume most people wish they were dead but, unlike most people I wish I was dead all of the time. I guess the main reason for this is the untimely death of...
    thuffman15 thuffman15 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    Just.. - That's right. No one gives a ****! We live in a world where everything is driven by interests.. No one cares.. But also they don't want us to die. Are they shellfish? Or...
    Onemorestep Onemorestep 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 5, 2013

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    ever since around puberty I would wish i was dead a lot. But me killing myself wouldn't be fair for a lot of people. I might as well improve everyone else's lives while i'm alive...
    phliphlop phliphlop 18-21 Feb 2

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    I have little friends, of which even those whom I have, they are not close enough to discuss my problems. I can't focus at work... or anywhere. Just feel like a soul stuck in a...
    BrainDead321 BrainDead321 26-30, M Dec 9, 2013

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    The Phone Call That Ended My Life - One phone call took everything I had away from me. I thought everything was alright until I got that one phone call and ever since that one...
    theezy5 theezy5 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2013

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    Why Are Doctors So Fixated On Medication? - for the last few days ive been feeling very low in my depression and i cant even bring myself to going to college because of it. my dad...
    MissDeBudlieAY MissDeBudlieAY 18-21 1 Response Sep 26, 2011

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    I Have Been Depressed For 24 Years - For some reason I thought major depression was supposed to get better. It doesn't. I have been medicated for 24 years since I was 16. I have...
    Crydbo Crydbo 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 3, 2013

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    It doesn't get better, it never gets any better. I've wished I was dead pretty consistently for since I was fourteen, that's nineteen years now of hoping I'll die in my sleep, get...
    tanimn tanimn 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    The past goes, the present comes, and the future awaits, yet I wish it didn't. I've never been a people person, always in the background. I am the wallflower of the world. I am...
    UnwantedShadow UnwantedShadow 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    My Parents Hate Me. - I wish i was dead, so do my parents. They could get on with their life without me. I'm there biggest burden, thats what they said, and i want to cut myself to...
    blackbart865 blackbart865 22-25 8 Responses Aug 3, 2009

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    Wish I Was Dead Most Of The Time - when I was 2 my mom left me when i was 3 my dad went to prison and didn't get back till I was 6 when he did he got a girlfriend that abused me...
    morgirocks morgirocks 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2013

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    "temporary" problem? - I have been more or less depressed, even on meds, since I was 10. I'm 40 now. ...It gets better briefly, then it gets worse again. ...Right now I'm...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 4 Responses Sep 17, 2013

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    I Can't Think Of A Clever Title - Sorry - It feels kind of stupid to write this. Like: "Hey internet strangers obviously whinging to you about my life will make everything better...
    brainbow brainbow 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    Why - Well i been like this most of my life. U know i think about it everyday. I thought if there was a robbery they told you to do something i would do the opposite so maybe they...
    kmn4 kmn4 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 9, 2012

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    There Are Times - There are time,Wish I was dead,Life's so rough,Had enough,Can't take no more.
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 1, 2012

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    I used to, but not much anymore. You may have downhill moments in your life, but listen, we're all strong enough to resurface. If I was, you all are. The grass is always greener on...
    left4deadspace left4deadspace 16-17, M Feb 6

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    Still Here - I use to think this way for a very long time. Life was bad and that would of been the quickest relief. I didn't die though i am still here. Plan to stay here till i...
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M 3 Responses Feb 13, 2010

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