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I Wish I Was Dead Most of the Time

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 534 People

    There are times where I assume most people wish

    they were dead but, unlike most people I wish I was dead all of the time. I guess the main reason for this is the untimely death of my uncle. It really isn't in the fact that he is dead that bothers me it's the fact that I feel very much responsible for his death. My Uncle was...
    thuffman15 thuffman15 26-30, M 3 Responses Feb 15

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    Ahhh... I've been a sad creature ever

    since I can remember. As a kid I always felt unloved and unwanted. I hated my life, my siblings, my parents... I was isolated, lonely and always bored. I created a fantasy world to get away from my terrible life... and it worked for a while. I always felt different... felt like...
    sadnina sadnina 26-30, F 2 Responses May 3

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    I have been depressed

    for as long as I can remember. My mother died of cancer when I was just 12. My father was always extremely distant and cold. I have survived 57 years of depression and I wish it was all over. There is no joy in my life. I put my fingers (as a gun) to my temple at least 20...
    toddcody toddcody 56-60, M 4 Responses May 13

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    Mum Died

    This may sound silly, but since my mum died I just wish I could stop breathing, I can't carry on. I'm 47 and my mum was 69 when she died 5 months ago. I work with homeless teenagers and lately I feel I just have no care left in me to support them and do my job properly. I'm so...
    alonegff alonegff 46-50, F 4 Responses Jul 1, 2013

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    Why Choose A Permanent Solution To A Temporary Problem?

    reading and writing stuff on a random website can only help in certain ways in certain circumstances . . .I feel MORE overwhelmed when I see all this grief and pain than when I was alone! I wish everyone who is in pain peace and relief I send them all love and hope Please get...
    dispossessed dispossessed 46-50, F 4 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    Give me a reason. Either way.

    Death sounds comforting right now.
    Lemartes Lemartes 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 30

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    I want to commit suicide I just don't want I

    live anymore please help me
    suicidalkid suicidalkid 18-21, F 17 Responses Jun 25

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    Unhappy

    Well believe it or not, I am REALLY unhappy with myself... I always think I'm too fat, not pretty at all, and not good enough for anyone.. And whenever I talk about this with others, the always think I'm crazy. I mean, people do tell me that I am pretty, but I just don't believe...
    BeautifulNightmarex BeautifulNightmarex 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    Nurse68 Nurse68 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    I woke up an hour ago from sleeping

    since saturday night... its monday morning. I am sick and on my period-- not helping. i couldnt even get up to let my puppy outside to use the bathroom :( so there is **** everywhere in my house. All i want to do is swallow my bottle of antidepressants but i can never fully...
    knbrickh knbrickh 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    JustASkinnyDream JustASkinnyDream 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I find it difficult to put into words.

    Most days i regret that i am alive. At the present time i feel so ill, i want and wait for something to happen. I don't know what i want to happen but don't care if it is good or bad. I find it hard to talk and get angry, when my partner or family try to talk to me it is almost...
    mmtyisaf mmtyisaf 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 10

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    What Have I Done

    I am very unsure of me i have been down 90% of my life tried taking it a few times when i was younger only to wake in hospitals or the floor alone the false security i feel when at work or around people instantaneously disappears when i am alone i constantly make bad decisions...
    justend justend 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    Life Is Good. Why Am I Depressed?

    I am 26 year old mechanical engineer. I am smart, creative, strong and muscular, good looking, excellent at sports, have lots of friends, a loving family, and a happy wonderful girl friend. I have a nice car, lots of money, and an excellent job that pays well where I get to make...
    superstellarian1 superstellarian1 26-30, M 8 Responses Aug 1, 2013

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    Misery That Goes On And On, 20+ Years Now

    I'm 43 years old and have felt miserable for very many of my days since I was 14. I don't get the people that say that feeling this bad is temporary. Really, it's my life. Feeling good is temporary; horrible misery is reality. I've been on various anti-depressants for probably...
    sleeo sleeo 41-45, M Nov 30, 2013

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    Kill Me Please..

    I just want this end. I want to die and just be a peace and not have to deal with these thoughts in my head anymore. But I'm too much of a coward I don't even have the guts to take my own life. Everyday I wish I could trade places with someone who is dying and let them live on...
    xBrickWallx xBrickWallx 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    Waking up each day becomes more

    and more of a chore, sometime's I can't think of a valid reason to wake up. I'm stupid, lazy, fat, worthless, and can't do anything right. Failure seems to follow my pathetic life. It's easier to see my self dead than to actually succeed. People tell me that...
    xDeadspacex xDeadspacex 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 28

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    I Can't Take It.

    I give without receiving. I love without keeping. Every breath I take lacks meaning. My smile can be deceiving. I fake it till I make it, but there is no end, there is always another bend. I find myself wishing I was dead. I hate myself to my core, I want something to soothe my...
    JewBoss JewBoss 18-21, M Nov 5, 2013

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    I've been struggling with depression

    as long as I could remember and I've been in and out of talk therapy since I was 9. I'm 32 now and seeing a counselor but lately my depression feels like it's only gotten worse especially over the past two months. In March I got in a car accident that inflamed my sciatica and...
    aapjm aapjm 31-35, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Laurenlovesyou1000 Laurenlovesyou1000 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    Why I Need Therapy Life is a miserable thing,

    a constant succession of assaults, minor or major, that assails one without respite or remorse. Fully aware that other people, societies, or nations have it worse in many respects, I still feel pain inexhaustible. Most of my worst experiences, some repressed or otherwise...
    SourPennies SourPennies 18-21 3 Responses Aug 10

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    "temporary" problem?

    I have been more or less depressed, even on meds, since I was 10. I'm 40 now. ...It gets better briefly, then it gets worse again. ...Right now I'm going to have a shower, take the happy pills that aren't even remotely making me happy, and go get more tomorrow that might actually...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 4 Responses Sep 17, 2013

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    I used to, but not much anymore.

    You may have downhill moments in your life, but listen, we're all strong enough to resurface. If I was, you all are. The grass is always greener on the other side and you'll make it out of you're depression and lead a peaceful, joyful life once more. If there is anything I've...
    left4deadspace left4deadspace 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 6

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    Why

    Well i been like this most of my life. U know i think about it everyday. I thought if there was a robbery they told you to do something i would do the opposite so maybe they would kill me or i think how hard would i have to drive my car into a pole or a tree to die.I come very...
    kmn4 kmn4 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 9, 2012

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    Degenerate Gambler

    I have been gambling my whole adult life. I attempted suicide several times. i tried to hang myself but i pulled myself up. my neighbor shot himself last winter, leaving behind two teenage children. i hear his 17 year old daughter cry @ scream. i have 2 young children and without...
    rocktaz rocktaz 41-45 1 Response Oct 9, 2012

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    This is the first time

    that I felt so alone. I know that in just a few minutes I'll be with my friends again cause I'm actually waiting for them. But I just don't know why I feel this way. Maybe because I don't know where to go and the place that I used to go to that has a crowd is even so quiet. It's...
    officialwanderer officialwanderer 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 8

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    The past goes, the present comes,

    and the future awaits, yet I wish it didn't. I've never been a people person, always in the background. I am the wallflower of the world. I am young, 14 years old. Everyone gets this depression at some time, or so they say, but have they ever felt like us? Have they ever felt...
    UnwantedShadow UnwantedShadow 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 11

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    It doesn't get better,

    it never gets any better. I've wished I was dead pretty consistently for since I was fourteen, that's nineteen years now of hoping I'll die in my sleep, get hit by a car, maybe some sort of random violence. That's how much of a coward I am, unwilling to pull the trigger on...
    tanimn tanimn 26-30, M 3 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    Why Are Doctors So Fixated On Medication?

    for the last few days ive been feeling very low in my depression and i cant even bring myself to going to college because of it. my dad keeps asking if im ok, which i hate. i hate talking...and my friends are annoyed because i didnt go to a party, yet i couldnt get out of bed...
    MissDeBudlieAY MissDeBudlieAY 18-21 1 Response Sep 26, 2011

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    Loneliness In A Sea Of People

    I feel as though I'm some kind of cosmic mistake because I don't fit here. I find the world to be a very ugly and hideous place that hides behind a superficial facade of beauty that is truly only an illusion for me. I have loved and cherished many people but I don't feel I was...
    steffany85 steffany85 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 24, 2013

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    superstellarian1 superstellarian1 26-30, M 3 Responses Mar 21

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    I Can't Think Of A Clever Title - Sorry

    It feels kind of stupid to write this. Like: "Hey internet strangers obviously whinging to you about my life will make everything better!" But it doesn't and I just... I can't - explain. It feels like everything is crashing down on me and I just can't take it. Waking up everyday...
    brainbow brainbow 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    Wishing I Was Dead Every Day

    I am more afraid of failing and ending up in hospital where they will surely lock me up and throw away the key than I am of succeeding and accomplishing my own suicide. The Eagles... "My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim…. I had to stop for the night." rings true after...
    absolom absolom 36-40 2 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    I have no reason to. I have a relatively easy

    life. I wake up in the morning in a warm and clean bed. I have hot and cold running water. And yet, I can't bring myself to have the motivation to live. The urge; it's strong, so strong. Sometimes I feel it grabbing my feet, wrapping around my ankles and pulling me down. I...
    Patronusmagic Patronusmagic 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 6, 2013

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    I have little friends,

    of which even those whom I have, they are not close enough to discuss my problems. I can't focus at work... or anywhere. Just feel like a soul stuck in a robot. "Yes Boss!", "Yes Mom!", "Yes Sir!"... but really? No. But it's work. It's life. It sucks. I'm just anxious all the...
    BrainDead321 BrainDead321 26-30, M Dec 9, 2013

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    Darkness Consumes

    Heh. They say "kids are to young to be depressed." They tell us, "you think life is hard now, wait till later." **** what they say. I'm a worthless 15 year old girl who let's darkness consume her. I have been self harming for years and even starved myself to feel pretty which...
    StormyStabber StormyStabber 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    I already did this but it did not work

    so I am repeating myself. I am so tired of trying to be normal. I try and try and try and keep doing to the same to be like I was. But I am not and I cannot find it. Elusive. Maybe not worth the effort any more. I am waiting to be saved at this point because I cannot save...
    sdemeuse sdemeuse 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    I don't really want help.

    I can't talk to anyone else about it. I did try to get help once, but they recommended group therapy. I don't want group therapy. I really don't want 1 on 1 sessions either, but some people depend on me. I'm just tired and bored and fed up. I want to blink out of existence...
    jmasters12 jmasters12 36-40, M 3 Responses Aug 12

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    I have always had this feeling plague me

    since I was a child. I don't want to feel it. But I do. I went through years of therapy and Rx meds. But I stopped it all, realizing I'm the only one who can fix me now. I'm trying. But it's easy to fall back into what I'm used to doing. I made it a comfort zone. When the...
    Ludavin Ludavin 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 10

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    Yesterday I Wrote A Note...

    ...and left it for my wife to find. I went and laid down on my bed. She wouldn't't be home for another 6 hours; plenty of time to stop breathing and slip away. I realized no one would be there to hold my hand when I passed. My health has been failing for the last 10 years and...
    Embrel Embrel 26-30, M 5 Responses Apr 5, 2010

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    There's really no reason

    for me to be alive. I'm an apathetic idiot and a waste of air. I have no passion, interests, or joy. I'll probably never have friends again. I've given up on ever being happy. I'm mostly just a failure incapable of doing much of anything right. And I've found that most people...
    bambionroids bambionroids 22-25 2 Responses Feb 14

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    One Bad Day

    Being depressed isn't new to me. I grew up with a lot of repression from a lot of bad experiences, lived in terrible places where everyone is some brand of messed up, and on top of it, I come from a long line of chemically depressed people as well, so even if I didn't have these...
    SourPennies SourPennies 18-21 1 Response Aug 3, 2013

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    ever since around puberty I would wish i was

    dead a lot. But me killing myself wouldn't be fair for a lot of people. I might as well improve everyone else's lives while i'm alive. Currently majoring in physics so I can hopefully give the Earth's inhabitants nearly infinite energy. Planning on staying alive until everyone...
    phliphlop phliphlop 18-21 Feb 2

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    My good friend comitted suicide 3 months ago ,

    i cutt my wrist and i am depressed i need help i want to smile again ! Rumors go around at school about me and i have had enough now at night i spend my time searching on how to comitt suicide
    alisonmay alisonmay 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 20

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    There Are Times

    There are time,Wish I was dead,Life's so rough,Had enough,Can't take no more.
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 1, 2012

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    Maybe not most of the time.

    ... But a lot recently. I feel like a teenager again. Some days I think of little else, it's so hard to understand when your not in that frame of mind. Here I am again... Where's the exit?
    Ladybuddha1 Ladybuddha1 26-30, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Oh boy, where do I start.

    I hate myself and my life, and I often cry. My dad is successful and has big dreams about me continuing his business. But not only can I not excel in school, hopefully I haven't failed my exams too badly, but I'm not even sure I want to work in a boring job earning a lot of...
    Shket Shket 16-17, M 2 Responses Jun 25

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    Can't Take Any More

    I spent some time last night imagining what it might be like to die.  I think I'd have to take pills.  I tried slitting my wrists when I was a teenager but didn't have the guts to do a good enough job at it.  Maybe I could hang myself.  Just nothing too...
    cssoulsearching cssoulsearching 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 5, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I have no reason to live. no friends, no life, no talents, no hobbies, no interest's, nothing. im just a waste of space. im no body. I just a stupid depressed teenager who no body...
    silentgirl1234 silentgirl1234 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 6

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    I dont want to sound like a typical dramatic teen but i wish sometimes that i wasnt here. Like me being put on earth was a mistake. When im alone i feel so amazing i love my own...
    Alwaysfalling Alwaysfalling 16-17, F a week ago

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    I've read a lot of things about the ideal weight. I'm supposed to be from 52-59 kg. So what - I'm 51 kg, I'm normal and I hate myself for it. Who likes normal?! I want to be skinny...
    elena1998 elena1998 13-15, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    We all get to a point in life, when we realize that life is not fair at all, most people realize that when they are teenagers, but that's not my case. I was born in a really...
    DeniedWings DeniedWings 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 5

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    I'm popular at school everyone loves me, little do they know I find no joy or meaning in anything anymore. All I feel is pain and hurt, I think of the ways I could kill myself...
    teenghostt teenghostt 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 1