Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Wish I Was Dead

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 481 People

    Death , The Last Option, I Have.

    I have worked hard, and i have been successful. I want to run away to have my own life. But i am being treated like a breeding horse which has to run at wishes of its master. Every inch of my life is controlled, they blackmail with, pain for my mind , my body and even my soul. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wish I was dead because I do not have the

    means to financially support myself. I work full time and I sill have financial problems. It has been 6 years since u have been officially living on my own and supporting myself and my financial situation gets worse and worse. I'm tired of people telling me things will get...
    BleuGirl83 BleuGirl83 31-35, F May 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Really do man people dont understand how it

    feels to be hopeless . Sometimes i think i was better if i wasn't born . Im almost 20 in a few months and the way my life is headed i have no future . I have no job experience failed all my courses in school and never had iteration with a female . If i dont die i jus want to...
    miz0217 miz0217 18-21, M 3 Responses Sep 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Wish, Or Maybe A Dream...

    To be dead, its a wish I have, its something I dream about, something I have been aching for, but no one will ever know this, because I paint a smile on my face, and act like its all okay, and that I am fine all the time. No one sees the tears I shed, or when I am laying there...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 19, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have no reason to live.

    no friends, no life, no talents, no hobbies, no interest's, nothing. im just a waste of space. im no body. I just a stupid depressed teenager who no body notices, Im to depressed to function. I cant get out of bed and live my life, I cant handle school, im online schooled. im...
    silentgirl1234 silentgirl1234 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Death Is The Cure For Life

    I grew up in an abusive household and I actually started praying for my own death when I was seven. When I was younger I wouldn't chew my food all the way in hopes that I would choke to death. Things haven't gotten any better since I have gotten older once you have experienced...
    birdsofprey93 birdsofprey93 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I wish something bad would happen to

    me and I would die because of it. Sometimes I wish I big truck would hit my car and kill me. Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to walk into the Pacific Ocean with a backpack full of rocks. Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to drive my car off a cliff. Death seems so...
    BleuGirl83 BleuGirl83 31-35, F Apr 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Indeed.

    I am not yet lost enough to want to end it. To want to die. But being dead, or never having existed, would be nice.... I just wish I wasnt alive, which I guess equates to wishing to be dead. But alas, I cant do it. Not watching Catherine and Sarahs family falling apart from it...
    Tesse Tesse 18-21, F 19 Responses Apr 15, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do It, I Dare You Do what ever it takes.

    Kill me if you have. I want you to but I don't. Just let it all be over. This feeling comes to often. Let me die.  No, save me. Kill my pain. Help me. I'm not insane. I can't and you shouldn't.  Please don't die on us
    musiqdreamer musiqdreamer 16-17, F Jan 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I would give anything to be dead right

    now I hurt too much I don't want to feel anymore :'(
    SouthernBella89 SouthernBella89 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wish I was dead everyday of my life.

    I have had suicidal thoughts and tendencies since I was 11 years old. My parents divorced when I was 1 year old. Ever since I could remember my mom abused me in every way possible physically, mentally, emotionally, and even sexually. She treated my like a slave and her own...
    Meatball20 Meatball20 22-25, M Oct 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My ex keeps sending me abusive messages to me

    and saying abusive things to me.....It hurts......I want to die because of it I've told her that....and that's why she keeps doing it.....
    SuicidalUnicorn SuicidalUnicorn 13-15, M Sep 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Even though I don't believe in organized

    religion, I still believe in god and I still think suicide is wrong. So, I can't commit suicide. But - I can take up a dangerous sport. Or if I notice some bad health symptoms, I can ignore them and not get medical treatment. Illness could be God's get-out-of-jail-free card...
    PopcornForDinner PopcornForDinner 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Tired Of It

    I was first diagnosed with depression when I was four years old. Literally, I've never been happy. I don't know what it looks like or what it feels like or how to go about finding it. I feel a lot of the time that if I let go of all the pain and self-loathing, I'd just disappear...
    MadamAZC MadamAZC 22-25, F 6 Responses Sep 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Waking Up

    Every night I go to bed I hope that I will never wake up. And when I wake up, well...it's the worst feeling in the world. I want to fall asleep and never wake up. I wish I had the courage to end my own life, but so far I am too afraid of pain. It's weird really, being alive is so...
    LonelyGirl1230 LonelyGirl1230 22-25, F 8 Responses Apr 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Guess This Is Goodbye

    so night i shall die and no one will care if i fail i will try again tomorrow but i will be put down on this first to make it easier. i want to die and nothing can stop me this time. no person can stop me. no nothing goodbye all ep-ers you will forever be hunted by my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've read a lot of things about the ideal

    weight. I'm supposed to be from 52-59 kg. So what - I'm 51 kg, I'm normal and I hate myself for it. Who likes normal?! I want to be skinny. I've tried everything. I've tried eating 500 kcal a day, and what - nothing. I eat less than 900 everyday for over a year, and what...
    elena1998 elena1998 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In The Middle Of The Spectrum

    The thought of me dying pleases me. I have dealt with depression for several years. I've had several unsuccessful suicide attempts. I know I sound like a jerk when I speak of ending my life. There are countless people that will give anything for more time on this earth, but I was...
    sillygirl2889 sillygirl2889 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wish I was dead. I just can't take my family,

    my life anymore. My family is really cruel to me. They constantly tell me that the world would be better of if I were dead, or better yet if I had never existed in the first place. I always wonder if they are right. I can't take the constant ridicule I get from everybody. I...
    UchigawaNiShinda UchigawaNiShinda 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dying Sounds Great Right About Now.

    I really want it all to be over- I keep trying but nothing ever f****** lasts. My social life has become practically nonexistent outside of EP. There's nothing to live for at this point. People? The only people I care about at this point are-you guessed it-on EP. Future? The one...
    ExtremelyPointless ExtremelyPointless 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm so sick of trying.

    Trying to make things better. I can't do it anymore. Everything I have is just for show, there's no substance to it. I am lonely, and I am alone. I have done this to myself. It's my fault. I just want the pain to be over. To stop feeling so miserable all the time. I just want...
    whoreallycares85 whoreallycares85 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Going No Where, This Isn't How I Planned Life.

    I just don't see mylife going anywhere, it's.a rutt. Everyone.around me is successful either career or relationship wise if not both. I have a job it's going nowhere I have nobody to grieve my issues with, no relationship it's hard to commit when I can not trust anybody. My...
    thedrew thedrew 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    it's hard to write a suicide note

    when you're ready to leave but you aren't ready to say goodbye
    Katelynann30 Katelynann30 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I feel like I am not sick enough.

    Sure, I am depressed and I'm being treated with medicine, but I still feel like no one takes this seriously. At my monthly appointments with my psychiatrist I can pour my heart out. She listens, writes something down and then tries to prove my negative statements wrong by...
    katastrophywife katastrophywife 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I dont want to sound like a typical dramatic

    teen but i wish sometimes that i wasnt here. Like me being put on earth was a mistake. When im alone i feel so amazing i love my own company and any interraction with people ****** me off and makes me wish i was dead. I prayed to god once asking him to take me away easy and...
    Alwaysfalling Alwaysfalling 16-17, F Aug 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is This Real?

    Do you ever feel like there's something that's just wrong? I feel like life isn't real sometimes. It all feels like just one big chapter in a book. Everyday is just another story. It gives life no meaning and no purpose. It's the same systematic thing everyday. Wake up go to...
    missspandabear missspandabear 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm slowly killing myself

    and then when time is right I'm going to kill myself is that wrong for a 15 year old to think is it from that I have major depression, anxiety, Biluma and starving my self at 15
    worthlessdancer worthlessdancer 16-17, F 4 Responses May 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't know who I am any more.

    I feel trapped inside a monster , I am an onlooker stuck outside watching this person push everyone away but I can't control it. I can't stop it. All I want is to stop breathing. But I can't control it and I can't do it.The one thing I want and I can't give it to myself because...
    whybotherbreathing whybotherbreathing 16-17, F Jun 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    WERE dead.... come on people.

    . if you're going to wish such a horrible thing... at least do it with correct grammar.
    SweetKiester SweetKiester 36-40, F 8 Responses Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Depressed

    i was so happy, i was out and proud with a gorgeous girlfriend and really happy with my life, but my gf dumped me and im feeling depressed and i feel its time to end my life because there is nothing left for me
    AdeleJones AdeleJones 22-25, F 21 Responses Aug 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wanted to believe there was a reason I am

    here. My mother is mentally ill and should never have had me. She used very poor judgement when getting pregnant. She isn't able to see beyond what she wants in any given moment. She had a child with a very unstable man and no money. She psychologically, mental, and emotionally...
    theforgotten1one theforgotten1one 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Being Dead

    There is absolutely nothing in the entire world I would want more, than being dead.
    Maddi3K Maddi3K 16-17, F 5 Responses Sep 13, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Want To Be Gone

    I see no point in living. It seems that every time things look up, something pulls me down deeper than I was before. I wish I could grasp the light instead of just seeing glimpses of hope and happiness, then being pushed back into this abyss of self loathing. I don't like myself...
    lowellwolf lowellwolf 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Looking for ways to kill myself

    and not leave my body around.
    BleuGirl83 BleuGirl83 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    justamistake justamistake 13-15, F Sep 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In late 2002, i was about to take my the exam

    for my Last year of hight school when i had braces for a month and couldn't take it anymore! and then a wrong operation was made In my nose! Now, ever since that happen I been struggling with four issues in my nose, that led to a n issue in my jaw, which then led to migraine...
    SM1BLE SM1BLE 26-30, M 3 Responses Jul 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Im so sick of everything.

    im on the verge of suicide. I have no way to kill myself though. I live with my parents and we don't exactly have anything that could be used to kill yourself. Im 14 so I cant just go to the store to buy sleeping pills to overdose on. I have no sleeping pills so I cant overdose...
    silentgirl1234 silentgirl1234 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am not suicidal. I just hate life.

    I hate the people in it and I just wish I was dead. I'm not depressed I just don't know how to function. My husband cheats constantly but I don't have the self worth to leave(before him I was literally homeless now I have the "white picket fence") my kids laugh at me mock me put...
    Timtam664 Timtam664 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today is the worse day well I should say the

    beginning of the day was good at work but then I come home and **** hits the fan. Just because I sad I did not like the color of the stain he used on the fence now he is all pissed off and fight with me about everything. I should have just keep my fucken mouth shut. Now for the...
    Byebyebabe Byebyebabe 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    BleuGirl83 BleuGirl83 31-35, F Mar 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To be dead, its a wish I have,

    its something I dream about, something I have been aching for, but no one will ever know this, because I paint a smile on my face, and act like its all okay, and that I am fine all the time. No one sees the tears I shed, or when I am laying there, with the blade in my hand, so...
    SouthernBella89 SouthernBella89 22-25, F Oct 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All I do is sit in my room

    and wish I were dead. I feel so ******* empty.
    sunny97 sunny97 16-17, F 3 Responses May 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Fkit

    never been happy ever..... nothin but isolation abandonment and loneliness in my life
    Stonerloner Stonerloner 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 21, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Whats the point about

    even being here of i am not happy. I'm always stressed out, i over think to much. I wish i could die you know , i don't see why not.
    Manny570 Manny570 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    miz0217 miz0217 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    but i can't kill myself

    because then my friend would kill herself. i just want to be with my dad and escape the pressures and horrors of this world.
    fxllxnangel fxllxnangel 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I'm 53 and have wished I were dead my whole life. I used to try to commit suicide but after failing 4 times I have given that up. I am resigned to the belief that I will live like...
    depressedrobin depressedrobin 51-55, F 4 Responses Sep 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I moved across country for my fiancé to go to the uni of his choice in hope that a new start would cure my negativity and hopelessness. I was wrong...I've never felt so alone. For...
    GlumCandy GlumCandy 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I wonder what it's like to not wish I was never born constantly throughout the day. I can't have always been like this...
    Verndari Verndari 18-21, F 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I really do. When I'm 18 I'll run far far away from this ****** place.
    halfpace halfpace 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm pregnant. The test said yes. The nurses said yes. I can't deal with this. I hate myself.
    halfpace halfpace 16-17, F 7 Responses Sep 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I want to die. Nothing matters. I just burned myself on a cigarette and I ate it. I just don't care anymore. Everyone just hurts me. I won't mind if I don't wake up tomorrow.
    halfpace halfpace 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    For the longest time I wished I had an older brother. I knew my father had been in a previous marriage before he married my mother. He told us that we had an older brother but that...
    Morenita79 Morenita79 31-35, F