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I Wonder If I Truly Matter

In the giant scheme of things & EP...Do we really matter? 219 People

    Even Here...

    I feel like I'm invisible and it isn't because I want to be. I was actually a very outgoing person at one point, but things have changed in my mind. I actually feel like I am a different person, save my values of course. I am meek in a crowd and I am so far very unaccomplished in...
    Bubblegumblues Bubblegumblues 18-21 Jun 5, 2013

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    Jump.

    so, I just played 'Dear Esther'. (spoilers below, just letting you know) so, for a while now, I've been having...kind of daydreams about jumping to my death, and flying, I guess. I usually jump off buildings in these daydreams, and it just seems like such a good way to die, the...
    ResignedToSadness ResignedToSadness 16-17, M 2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    No Purpose Worth The Name

    I wonder if my life is of any real consequence at all despite the struggle and effort of living each day. As a family member I've been largely ignored and at times a downright nuisance. As a friend I haven't had anything to give anyone that they couldn't easily get from somewhere...
    CosmoLang CosmoLang 36-40, M Nov 9, 2011

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    Do I?

    The only person who can answer that question is me. And I do matter to my loved ones.
    Ichilicious Ichilicious 26-30, M Mar 20, 2012

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    If I vanish in a flash, will history crash?

    A nameless cog in a machine that is bogged in interminable computation? Merely a simulation in a giant game, an automaton, and we are all the same. If history be the judge, will it be harsh, on the path we trudge across our boggy marsh?
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 16, 2013

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    Actions Speak Much Louder Than Words

    My "ENTIRE" life I have lived for those around me. I have felt this immense pressure to try to be what others expect of me, and all it has ever done is make me so damned depressed that I feel my life has never been my own, and that I've wasted my most precious years (youth and...
    rrainfall rrainfall 31-35, F Aug 3, 2013

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    All For the Glory

    Counselor, professors, friends, they all act like it's their duty to protect me, but I think it's all a desire for self glory. I think they feel like it'll make them look better. In the end though, I only hear advice or end up in the ER, and never receive any actual help. And...
    FastLaneC3 FastLaneC3 18-21, F 3 Responses May 13, 2009

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    In the Big Picture.....

    Am I even a blip on the radar? I don't think so. I wonder how I got to this point. I wonder what is inside me that is so broken that I can not seem to repair it on my own. The saddest part is that no one seems to want to help me. I can't fix it on my own, & yet I'm expected...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 13, 2009

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    I Always Wonder This......

    I am single, have no friends left, no social life and yet I am in a job which requires a lot of me in a personal sense. I work with children. In the mornings I run a daycare and am responsible for a small group of children aged from 18 months up to 5 years. In the afternoons I...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2011

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    I Do.

    Any memories that others have of me dissolve slowly like kool-aid mix in water. In Holly Hobby's mind, I am "that girl". Later on, I am "that kid", then simply a shadow that she doubts existed. 
    Mdear Mdear 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    I Can Be Easily Re-placed....

    I often wonder if I do truly matter to anyone. I mean, I can be so easily re-placed. There were poeple before, me, and if for some reason, I left the world soon, there will be people after me. I wonder if I am that important in someone's life, that they really need me, or that i...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 16, 2009

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    To Her At All????

    We have grown apart over the course of years and now it is coming time to get back together or..................................................................   We used to love but she isn't comfortable at home or around me any more and we are not sure how to get back if...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 7 Responses May 13, 2009

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    I Wonder...

    I wonder if I really do matter to anyone, the thought of wondering if I matter at all, crosses my mind very often, and I sometimes feel like I don't matter to anyone. Not such a great feeling to have.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 9, 2009

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    My Name Is Mike.

    My Name Is Mike. Posted December 2nd, 2011 at 10:45AM My name is Mike. As I'm writing this, I’m just two months away from turning 32 years old. The idea to write this book has been on my mind for a few years now. I always wanted to share my observations as a fat man in a...
    TheBMRP TheBMRP 26-30, M Dec 3, 2011

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    More and More Lately

    Just like anybody else I am not perfect. I am fat. I am not beautiful. I have health problems. I am sensitive. I can be flaky. But you know what? I am sincere,honest,supportive,empathetic and loyal. I always wanted to believe my good qualities were...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses May 17, 2009

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    I'm here to not feel

    so alone in my experiences and to offer support to others whom I identify with. It feels like I've hit a low point, that I can't be myself on here.
    MsInvis MsInvis 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    I Don't Matter To Anyone

    I only matter to myself. Everyone else either lies or don't talk to me.
    LovelessDeluxe LovelessDeluxe 22-25 Nov 2, 2011

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    Sometimes...

    ...but then I remember none of you would exist if it weren't for me observing you.  Then, I feel a lot better about myself.  Ha!  Dance, puppets, dance. Heh.  Gotta love drunken quantum snarkiness.
    BrokenBear BrokenBear 26-30, F Mar 14, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Pretty much idiotic not to know connection is the key to any monogamous long term relationship.  Marriage without connection would be pretty much insane.However, I'm beginning...
    Extant1 Extant1 51-55, M 15 Responses May 16

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    Sometimes I wonder, is this all worth it ? Or am I just wasting my time ? Feeling hurt and sad, being truly alone, no not today because there's something coming, and it will take...
    holyteenobserver holyteenobserver 16-17, F 1 Response May 17

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    I am hurt that my boyfriends grandparents say such rude things about me it hurts me so as do I even matter they put me down to low and my boyfriend brings me up but I have always...
    Sofia2526 Sofia2526 18-21, F May 7

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    Hello, my EP friends. I have decided to delete this story because it was a little negative for me... And whiney. I truly appreciate the support you have given me and hope you...
    wayward71 wayward71 41-45, M 10 Responses May 18

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    Deep beautiful love songs, the sappy mix: 1 Waiting For A Girl Like You- Foreigner 2 Lady In Red- Chris DeBurgh 3 Can't Fight This Feeling- REO Speedwagon 4 She's Always A...
    johnny048 johnny048 46-50, M 1 Response a week ago

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    On this subject, a certain poster (along with friends of hers) continues to malign me, and when I challenge her claims, she deletes them. So, as the original thread is much too...
    PYWACKET PYWACKET 61-65, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    If he hadn't chose to listen to his stupid sisters lies. . . would we still be friends? If I hadn't cared what others thought would we still be as close as we were before? If I...
    TokioDoll TokioDoll 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    What it would be like to be truly happy I've had some brief moments where I was happy but it's never long term. Everything always feels so meaningless. In my school there there is...
    Overdrive18 Overdrive18 18-21, M May 2

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    If I was happy.. Hmm.. I'd laugh. and smile.. really.. truly.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 4

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    we are told to live in unconditional love at least in my world of healing and spiritual practices unconditional meaning i give without judgement and expectations and I give myself...
    livingtruthfully livingtruthfully 36-40, F 3 Responses May 7

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    Am I the only person who truly suffers from insomnia? I hate it and these bags under my eyes are so ugly lol
    marzgg marzgg 22-25, F May 8

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    If your circumstances changed, would your boat truly be adrift in my sea?
    bethany444 bethany444 46-50, F 3 Responses May 12

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    I've been betrayed and hurt so many times. I often wonder whether they're just pretending to like me so I don't get hurt anymore.
    Snowhiver Snowhiver 16-17, F May 13

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    I read someone's haughty post defending the Duggar parents and am so appalled and upset that she cited jealousy as a reason people dislike the Duggars. She said God's been blessing...
    neverendingfairytale2 neverendingfairytale2 36-40, F 6 days ago

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    I have always been a cheerful, positive person and have been liked by so many friends. But, the past year or more, I have been silently struggling with several issues in my life...
    beautifulsunrise beautifulsunrise 41-45, F 2 Responses May 3

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    Can somebody seriously help, I've wanted to switch schools for a while. At this school I only have about 4 people I can actually call friends. And at the other school there are so...
    xXShellyBeanXx xXShellyBeanXx 13-15, F 1 Response May 3

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    I've already posted this but I need to add to this. Somebody please help me with this, I need it in like 1hour! I've been wanting to switch schools for a while now, I only have...
    xXShellyBeanXx xXShellyBeanXx 13-15, F May 5

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    To be truly loved by someone.......is something I wish I can experience someday. I grew up in a home where love didn't exist. No hugs, no kisses......no bedtime stories. Because of...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 36-40, F 13 Responses May 6

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    What people really see when they look at me.. I would be curious but it really wouldn't matter I'm still me
    CrystalMuffins CrystalMuffins 13-15, F 1 Response May 10

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    you are all attractive. but for me, looks doesn't matter (have you ever seen my crush? not an Abercrombie kinda guy but still the best) i was bullied about my looks for years (now...
    spiritophile spiritophile 18-21 May 11

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    I grow exhausted of presumptional apologetics. I mention spiritually speaking I don't want to be under the authority of a higher power because I say that none of us consented to...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix 26-30, M 1 Response May 15

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    you will always be missed no matter who you are or what your story is
    LGBTeen LGBTeen 16-17, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Wow! Perfect weekend until my boss, and now exgirlfriend, posted this weeks work schedule. When will I learn? For months, over half a year, she assured me despite no longer being...
    wayward71 wayward71 41-45, M 12 Responses 3 days ago

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    it's so taunting to me... they say youll never be loved if you dont truly love you but when i saw the beauty in my someone hurt me... compliments dont make me happy and i cant...
    Sagey47 Sagey47 18-21, F May 6

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    ootd dedicated to Mother's Day. happy mothers to all you mamas out there. we are all truly blessed and thankful for all that y'all do.
    southerngurlnpearls southerngurlnpearls 22-25, F May 10

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