I Wonder If I Truly Matter

In the giant scheme of things & EP...Do we really matter? 279 People

    My Name Is Mike.

    My Name Is Mike. Posted December 2nd, 2011 at 10:45AM My name is Mike. As I'm writing this, I’m just two months away from turning 32 years old. The idea to write this book has been on my mind for a few years now. I always wanted to share my observations as a fat man in a...
    TheBMRP TheBMRP
    26-30, M
    Dec 3, 2011

    I Do.

    Any memories that others have of me dissolve slowly like kool-aid mix in water. In Holly Hobby's mind, I am "that girl". Later on, I am "that kid", then simply a shadow that she doubts existed. 
    Mdear Mdear
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 20, 2011

    Jump.

    so, I just played 'Dear Esther'. (spoilers below, just letting you know) so, for a while now, I've been having...kind of daydreams about jumping to my death, and flying, I guess. I usually jump off buildings in these daydreams, and it just seems like such a good way to die, the...
    ResignedToSadness ResignedToSadness
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

    I Wonder...

    I wonder if I really do matter to anyone, the thought of wondering if I matter at all, crosses my mind very often, and I sometimes feel like I don't matter to anyone. Not such a great feeling to have.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 9, 2009

    Even Here...

    I feel like I'm invisible and it isn't because I want to be. I was actually a very outgoing person at one point, but things have changed in my mind. I actually feel like I am a different person, save my values of course. I am meek in a crowd and I am so far very unaccomplished in...
    Bubblegumblues Bubblegumblues
    18-21
    Jun 5, 2013

    I Always Wonder This......

    I am single, have no friends left, no social life and yet I am in a job which requires a lot of me in a personal sense. I work with children. In the mornings I run a daycare and am responsible for a small group of children aged from 18 months up to 5 years. In the afternoons I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Dec 4, 2011

    Sometimes...

    ...but then I remember none of you would exist if it weren't for me observing you.  Then, I feel a lot better about myself.  Ha!  Dance, puppets, dance. Heh.  Gotta love drunken quantum snarkiness.
    BrokenBear BrokenBear
    26-30, F
    Mar 14, 2012

    I Don't Matter To Anyone

    I only matter to myself. Everyone else either lies or don't talk to me.
    LovelessDeluxe LovelessDeluxe
    22-25
    Nov 2, 2011

    To Her At All????

    We have grown apart over the course of years and now it is coming time to get back together or..................................................................   We used to love but she isn't comfortable at home or around me any more and we are not sure how to get back if...
    mtvlm mtvlm
    41-45, M
    7 Responses May 13, 2009

    All For the Glory

    Counselor, professors, friends, they all act like it's their duty to protect me, but I think it's all a desire for self glory. I think they feel like it'll make them look better. In the end though, I only hear advice or end up in the ER, and never receive any actual help. And...
    FastLaneC3 FastLaneC3
    18-21, F
    3 Responses May 13, 2009

    Actions Speak Much Louder Than Words

    My "ENTIRE" life I have lived for those around me. I have felt this immense pressure to try to be what others expect of me, and all it has ever done is make me so damned depressed that I feel my life has never been my own, and that I've wasted my most precious years (youth and...
    rrainfall rrainfall
    31-35, F
    Aug 3, 2013

    More and More Lately

    Just like anybody else I am not perfect. I am fat. I am not beautiful. I have health problems. I am sensitive. I can be flaky. But you know what? I am sincere,honest,supportive,empathetic and loyal. I always wanted to believe my good qualities were...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses May 17, 2009

    I Can Be Easily Re-placed....

    I often wonder if I do truly matter to anyone. I mean, I can be so easily re-placed. There were poeple before, me, and if for some reason, I left the world soon, there will be people after me. I wonder if I am that important in someone's life, that they really need me, or that i...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Oct 16, 2009

    I sometimes wonder this.

    Like I know people are okay with having me around, but do they like me being around? do I matter?
    lilykitten1998 lilykitten1998
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Feb 17

    Some people are under the impression

    that they are the center of the universe. There's a lot of people who have allowed themselves to live in a world where anytime they make a major move the entire world will somehow shift for the better or worse. But that's not how life operates. People will live on even in your...
    niceguycursed niceguycursed
    31-35, M
    Apr 1

    I am the weed in your garden,

    growing wildly and always out of place. You pull and remove me, each and every time, but can’t you see, I just want to be like every other flower, nurtured and loved, blooming alike. But I'm a weed and no one ever brings home a bouquet of weeds to brighten the day.
    cmyk323 cmyk323
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Dec 18, 2015

    If I vanish in a flash, will history crash?

    A nameless cog in a machine that is bogged in interminable computation? Merely a simulation in a giant game, an automaton, and we are all the same. If history be the judge, will it be harsh, on the path we trudge across our boggy marsh?
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Nov 16, 2013

    In the Big Picture.....

    Am I even a blip on the radar? I don't think so. I wonder how I got to this point. I wonder what is inside me that is so broken that I can not seem to repair it on my own. The saddest part is that no one seems to want to help me. I can't fix it on my own, & yet I'm expected...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses May 13, 2009

    No Purpose Worth The Name

    I wonder if my life is of any real consequence at all despite the struggle and effort of living each day. As a family member I've been largely ignored and at times a downright nuisance. As a friend I haven't had anything to give anyone that they couldn't easily get from somewhere...
    CosmoLang CosmoLang
    41-45, M
    Nov 9, 2011

    It's funny. I normally don't allow trivial

    things to bother me. I'm usually a happy person and I stay very positive about things for the most part. I am normally the one to say hi to people and wish them a good morning and what have you. But this morning, I was kind of quiet....and I realized something. No one, said...
    Pilotbob75 Pilotbob75
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Dec 4, 2015

    Related Experiences

    i write this to enshrine in electronic perpetuity. this is not written for any reason other than its what i feel. you know this is for you so i dont need to name you but the...
    ArnoldJRimmer ArnoldJRimmer
    46-50, M
    Apr 21
    could have the Ep doomsday have been fake since it's past the marker or are they waiting until after today to close the place up hmm I wonder could it have been false or not maybe...
    SladeBolinLeaderofEp SladeBolinLeaderofEp
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 21
    how lucky I am to hav met u all..ppl who r so hard 2 say goodbye to
    itsmecrazyUCme itsmecrazyUCme
    13-15, F
    Apr 21
    I wonder when I will be mature enough to say "Good bye!" smiling...
    whyacinth whyacinth
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Apr 21
    if you're in (or interested in) a Daddy/mommy type dynamic and wanna make new friends then join our group! https://fetlife.com/groups/137457
    SifuslittleRed2 SifuslittleRed2
    31-35, F
    Apr 20
    In this story, I want to put in everything that I have felt lately. Now that EP is closing, I'll never get the chance again to post my truest of feelings anywhere as I did on here...
    stabbedtoceasersalad stabbedtoceasersalad
    18-21, F
    Apr 19
    My lab is my best friend. Always happy to see me after work, never judges me.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Apr 19
    she always targets me,like its always me she tortures with her long nails and her kicking,and then she starts acting nice later that day and is all up on me???? something is either...
    ShellBoss105342 ShellBoss105342
    18-21, M
    Apr 18
    Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't as special as you thought I was. Maybe I'm just someone who stumbled into your path. Wide-eyed and unsuspecting. Not knowing how to shield my...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    Apr 18
    goody or baddy wudnt matter . my name would be Calandra .. though .. id prefer to stand up for goodo stuffiez :/
    cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle
    36-40, T
    Apr 17
    I sometimes stumble across posts, where the user is so happy that she found someone. Someone who understands them, someone who accepts her imperfections, someone who says he'll...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 16
    Now that EP is closing, I'm really wondering if anybody here has ever had a crush on me. I guess we will never know ^-^
    notmyfaultyourenotoriginal notmyfaultyourenotoriginal
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Apr 16
    I wonder...when and where this obsession with happiness started.
    Cierzo Cierzo
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Apr 16
    Ok. This is really risky. But now I see e.ps closing down it makes me so sad. I hope this doesn't upset the person I'm wondering about, but I met them on here the first time I...
    Jordbaerbonnie Jordbaerbonnie
    31-35, F
    Apr 16
    Enduring, absorbing pain builds power within me and I need to give that power to someone I trust with every piece of me, inside and outside. That's only just one piece of the whole...
    BernadetteAshley BernadetteAshley
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Apr 15
    I love questions like seriously ask me anything
    allianotran allianotran
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Apr 15
    If you make me feel that way (or alternatively, if I *let* you make me feel that way) AFTER you have led me to believe otherwise, you have successively made an enemy out of me...
    thisisnotagame thisisnotagame
    18-21, F
    Apr 15
    What is the thing takes your attention ?
    oh66oud oh66oud
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Apr 15
    I am new here, ask me anything!
    LostSoul1939 LostSoul1939
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Apr 15
    Ask me If you want too ? I'll answer directly
    MOHED007 MOHED007
    18-21, M
    4 Responses Apr 15
    drinking and watching my favorite shows, love a stimulating conversation starter(:
    KaelaMarie KaelaMarie
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 15
    How easily the fruits and veggies get cut! They don't resist, they don't oppose. Coz that's how they are made, soft, cutable, eatable.. Sounds a bit absurd lol, but while slicing...
    DropsOfRain DropsOfRain
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Apr 15
    I want to kill myself but I feel like I'll miss out on something. Idk. Not looking for attention just wondering about your suicidal experiences?
    maloriemeow maloriemeow
    22-25, F
    6 Responses Apr 14
    I have been told by a good friend here that in the beginning I was intimidating to her because of my strong opinions. I realise that I may look like that, but as a matter of fact...
    Cierzo Cierzo
    41-45, M
    7 Responses Apr 14
    Slow day at work and in a fun mood. Simply ask and you shall receive
    Apolyc Apolyc
    26-30, M
    1 Response Apr 14
    Many EP users can write really well. To be honest, I felt their writings can reach closer to my heart than the books I have read till today. Even in the category which I do not see...
    whyacinth whyacinth
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Apr 14
    I always wonder... why is it that those who always try to stay strong, always end up having to deal with other people's weaknesses? The strong pays for the strength that they hold...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    3 Responses Apr 13
    You need to aim beyond what you are capable of. You must develop a complete disregard for where your abilities end. Try to do things that you're incapable of... If you think you're...
    hazaramujahideen hazaramujahideen
    70+, F
    Apr 12
    I'm sad for all the people on here. I received a noticed like I'm sure many of you have. They're shutting down EP!! Very sad. I know there are a lot of phonies and people not...
    Riogirl77 Riogirl77
    51-55, F
    4 Responses Apr 12
    I wonder why kids and young people had cowboys (or indians), cops (or robbers), firemen, soldiers, as idols, and nowadays it is not unfrequent that they have Steve Jobs or Bill...
    Cierzo Cierzo
    41-45, M
    5 Responses Apr 12
    I wonder if men just see us as a sex object
    LauraBowker LauraBowker
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Apr 11
    Just have these thoughts when I'm gone I will most likely be forgotten cast adrift in the tides of time. I'm used to it but I wonder who would remember me for the actions I've did...
    SladeBolinLeaderofEp SladeBolinLeaderofEp
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 11
    as an incarnated angel my life was weird had a lot of experiences with demons angels spirits elementals and so on extensively both in this life and many past lives. many angels are...
    karael777 karael777
    22-25, T
    1 Response Apr 9
    I'm confused if I'm matured or not. There are times that I always like a child. There are times that my schoolmate shouted at me and told me that I'm immature. What's wrong? I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 9
    This may sound sexual but it's not. I want them but I don't want to get sugary or anything. I wonder if it can grow if I eat certain things if not then whatever. I want bigger b...
    staystyleandsmile staystyleandsmile
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 8
    I wonder why some people don't get that the war against Islamic terrorism is not the same as being at war with a country. Terrorism, by its nature, is carried out by little local...
    HarryDemon HarryDemon
    51-55, M
    Apr 8
    I have always preferred men who are older than me. It's never gone beyond a first date with a younger man. Older guys have experience and confidence I find extremely attractive...
    Doomflower Doomflower
    31-35, F
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    I check my phone in the morning time for her text message I usually get from her during the night, and she isn't there. I'm thinking she is busy. I wait later on in the day, still...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 7
    How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. Buddha
    Mcinacann Mcinacann
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    Apr 7
    First i have to admit , i'm very complicated , even i don't understand myself , and what i want from a person , i have friends and i had girlfriends , but none of them sees, know...
    Poxulis Poxulis
    18-21
    2 Responses Apr 7
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