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I Wonder Why Childless Women Are So Scorned By Society

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 214 People

    Childless And A Mess

    I am 26married for 4 yearshad three miscarriageshave polycystic ovarieshave endometriousis1 miscarriage by ivf with three further ivf without successnot coping with mental side of such a child society
    tilly85 tilly85 26-30 2 Responses Mar 5, 2012

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    I found this today which helped me enormously -

    it may or may not help you depending upon your perspective but I hope it gives hope or is inspiring for some. There is definately a need to redress the crap childless and childfree woman are given by society along the lines of 'constructive discrimination' or redressing the...
    GardenFaery GardenFaery 41-45 Jan 14

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    I'm 23 and people have told me my biological

    clock is ticking. Society really pressures women for children,and that is a mistake. Women need to be ready for a child.
    Rebecca321 Rebecca321 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 19

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    Not Scorned, But Ignored?

    My wife and i do not have kids and it is not that we didn't want them, it just never happened and we were not into the what I call heroics of going to a doctor and having endlesss tests and other invasive things. We just figured that if we cannot have them by natural normal means...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 25, 2012

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    Think Before You Speak

    I am 44 yrs old with no children. I have been married previously, and I am currently married. I do not have children due to medical reasons. But people assume and judge me immediately upon hearing that I do not have children. In my thirties people looked curious, now in my...
    rachel717 rachel717 46-50, F 30 Responses Oct 15, 2008

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    Military Wife Childfee By Choice- Am I The Only One??

    Well, my title says it all. Thankfully we only have 6 years left, and hopefully the next move will be the last! I am fine with my friends at home- many have now had a child (ONE!), and I still love them and get along. Now, pick me up and move me into a community of insecure...
    PBcookies PBcookies 36-40 2 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    The Dangers Of Socialization

                Socialization is necessary for maintaining a healthy society, but it can also be a dangerous tool.  Gender socialization is certainly no exception to the rule.  We, like every other human civilization...
    WildMagic WildMagic 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 17, 2010

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    I Don't Want Kids

     "I don't want kids" I told my mother when I was 12. "We'll see when you're older", she sighed as if children were for those with a refined palate."I don't want kids", I told my mother when I was 17. "You'll change your mind", she snorted as if children were the holy grail of a...
    Mdear Mdear 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2011

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    Not Sure How To Define It...

    I had a child who died before his first birthday, and I never had another one, so am I truly childless, or "the mother of a dead child" ? I don't like saying the latter, because not only does it still hurt, but it invites pitying questions that I'd generally rather not deal with...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 46-50, F 5 Responses Dec 25, 2012

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    I Don't Get It.. I Think People With Kids Must Be Jealous Of Their Freedom.

    my version of the "American Dream" is quite different from most of the people I know: For one reason or another: most people want to get married (as soon as humanly possible, most likely to the wrong person) and have kids (also as quickly as possible and most likely with the...
    wack1985 wack1985 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 12, 2010

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    They Are Simply Jealous!

    Have read all of your heartfelt comments.  Please, never feel as though you owe anyone any explanation as to why you are childless.  If they really have time to get into this with you then they do not have enough to do.  I have lost count of the times people...
    IrisElizabeth IrisElizabeth 56-60, F 6 Responses May 2, 2009

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    Forgotten Womb

    I'm 33 yrs. old, single, childless (medical reasons), and it hurts more than anything I know. Up until about a year ago I couldn't stand to hear of someone I knew being pregnant. It was very difficult for me to express happiness for them. I would always cry myself to sleep that...
    Forgottenwomb Forgottenwomb 31-35, F 7 Responses Aug 4, 2012

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    Why Your Childless Girl Friends Are Worth Their Weight In Gold

    When you become a mom, remember to hold onto your childless girl friends, because more than ever, they will be worth their weight in gold. That's right, most of us new moms ditch those single gals, whose priorities are now so different from ours. But in spite of the radical...
    MaxineR MaxineR 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Lots Of Nieces And Nephews But No Children

    I am 33 yrs. old and have been married for 3 and a half year. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 2 years. I definitely feel the psi. And heartache of women who wish to have children but struggle to conceive. I have a large family of eight brothers and...
    laur1279 laur1279 31-35 2 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    Have No Idea

    many wemon have babies that should never have kids we were goibng t addopt a child as we knew we could never have children up front but you also had to be 21 and wife wife was killed at age 17
    rickibrat2 rickibrat2 61-65, M Oct 18, 2011

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    I Know

    I'm unmarried with no children and it's a very awkward position to be in. I have a married sister who has three kids and I'm self-conscious around her. Whenever I go out and see married people around my age with a family of their own, I feel so small and dorky! It's not that I...
    MySweetLord MySweetLord 36-40, F 11 Responses Aug 31, 2009

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    Empty Nest

    for 25 years i wanted to have a baby or three, to be pregnant and go through that whole process. i believe now that because of my troubled childhood, i needed to bond with someone who loved me unconditionally, even if it were only for a time. i wanted to have something in common...
    1almatrevino 1almatrevino 51-55, F May 11, 2012

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    I Want To Be A Mother, Not Simply Have Children...why Can't People Get This!?

    I have been transparent, lamenting out loud regarding my infertility. Some well-meaning folks have said to me “you have a husband now, you should be grateful” or “you should be grateful for what you have, not focusing on what you don’t have.” Being childless isn’t a...
    whatswrongwithme46 whatswrongwithme46 46-50 3 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    Having It All

    The push today is for women to "have it all." The pinnacle of success is if you have both kids AND a prestigious, high-paying career. Well, sometimes I think this is a revolting concept and a toxic message. So, CAN you have it all? Well, yes and no. Technically, you can, but you...
    atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 31-35 Jul 11, 2010

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    Regret

    I have been married for 20 years. My husband told me when we hooked up that he was unable to have children. At that time (26 years old) I didn't wany children. When I hit 35, all that changed. After 3 failed attempts at artificial insemination, I gave up. I regret not tryig...
    slhh35 slhh35 46-50 3 Responses Jul 9, 2010

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    I Am Childless ..Big Deal!

    Lately, I've been asked by co workers if I have children. I tell them I am child less due to the fact that I have no husband. I emphasize that I am not willing to bear children for the simple fact of producing. I've always expected to get married and then have children...
    caramelLova1 caramelLova1 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 4, 2013

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    Scorned For Not Having Kids, Hurts

    My story is like a lot of others, I know, however I cant help but feel alone in not being a mom,  because for me, even going to the grocery store is a reminder that I dont have kids - especially seeing girl scouts with their friends and mothers trying to...
    merijoe merijoe 46-50 4 Responses Apr 26, 2009

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    Rant

    I'm 20 and newly married. My husband and I strongly agree that we do not want kids. Not now and not ever. Currently we live with my dad, who lives on disability. My husband works part-time on 8.35 an hour and I work full time on 7.75 an hour. Neither of us are college graduates...
    missynegative missynegative 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 15, 2008

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    Sometimes Like Makes Decisions For You.

    When I was a little girl I always new I would get married and have children.  I thought I would be married and have a child by the age of 30.  Sometimes life doesn't go to plan.  I like to think I've lived life responsibly.  I have worked hard, paid my way without help from...
    Halo101 Halo101 36-40 Nov 23, 2011

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    Lost And Alone

    I am a recently married 39 year old step-mom.At 19 I had an abortion.  Not because I didn't want to be a mom, but because that is what my mother taught me should be done.  I wouldn't want a baby to ruin my life.  Now it feels very much like that baby has ruined me...
    Childlessandhurting Childlessandhurting 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2010

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    You're Not Selfish

    I have read a lot of stories in this group, and one of the prevailing themes is that women who don't want children have been told that they are "selfish". Well, listen, you're not. Quite the opposite, actually. You're wise. When you really think about it, there are a lot of women...
    atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 31-35 Jul 10, 2010

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    32 And Left Behind

    It's official...I am the last of my friends to be unattached and childless. Not by choice either. I'm educated, have a good job, friendly, loyal, loving, compassionate, and not a dog either! Just a couple of weeks ago, my last single-and-carefree friend announced she was...
    SXDX380 SXDX380 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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    I'm Not Knocking Motherhood

    I want you to understand where I'm coming from. I'm not the stereotypical snooty, overeducated "career woman" who looks down her nose at women who decide to have children, or believes that all hands-on mothers are somehow weak, brainwashed cop-outs who aren't "living up to their...
    atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 31-35 3 Responses Jul 7, 2010

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    I Either Vent Or I Start Throwing Things.

    I am a college student. We're elbow-deep in the term, which means lots of homework, midterms, reviewing, etc. So that's what I've spent most of this beautiful Sunday doing-- staying indoors, working on my education. One little problem. Or should I say, four or five little...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 23, 2011

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    Are They? Really?

                  I am slowly recovering from my reaction of amazement to finding an experience with this title. Maybe a few decades ago I would not have been so surprised, but... now?       ...
    Dawnriser Dawnriser 66-70, F 5 Responses Apr 27, 2009

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    Just a Guess.

     In history, barren women weren't wanted because men wanted a child to keep their name alive and build their clan.  Times have moved beyond that.  The world is heavily populated and food for all is poorly distributed.  The only other thought I have (not there...
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M 11 Responses Jan 28, 2009

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    I Am A Valuable Person

    I thought I was fine.  My life has not gone as planned; however it has been better than I ever imagined.   Then last year my husband's daughter passed away.  When this most difficult event is brought up the first thing nearly everyone has asked "did she have...
    shireneu shireneu 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 25, 2010

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    The Urge Is Absent

    I'm 35, single, and have no children. I don't say childless because 1) I don't feel that I nor my life is less for not having children and 2) I don't believe that having kids is going to enhance or make my life more (children are neither furniture nor accessories). That said, I...
    Togleby Togleby 31-35, F 5 Responses Sep 26, 2012

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    Never Have And Never Will

    I think I decided not to have children in my early teens, I'm now 35. I was told at the time that I would change my mind when the biological clock kicked in but it never has and I'm even more adamant to this day that it's not a life choice for me. Thankfully I'm engaged to a...
    Effeoh Effeoh 31-35 2 Responses Jan 7, 2013

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    No Kids For Me

    I'm 34 years old and have no children by choice.  I grew up the only child of a single mother and on welfare.  At a very young age I set standards for myself when it came to having children.  1)  I must be in a good and stable relationship when I decide...
    ShatteredSilk ShatteredSilk 36-40, F 8 Responses Oct 15, 2008

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    I Don't Describe Myself As "childless"

    Like many of you lovely ladies in this group, when I've stated I don't want to have children I've been patronised, ridiculed, and felt pressured by society, friends and family (my mother wants to pay for my eggs to be frozen, "in case I change my mind"). I know lots of women who...
    JessBaker JessBaker 36-40 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    I Wonder Why Childless Women Are So Scorned By Society Am Looking For A Female For A Loving Anr Or Abf Relationship In Tampa Bay, Fl.

    I am a Single White Male Searching For Open Minded Female In Tampa Bay, Fl . i am a single white male age 58 searching for an open minded female in tampa bay, florida. if you are out there give me a buzz so that we can chat?
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 27, 2013

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    My Story

    I'm a woman in my forties who has chosen not to have children. Why did I choose not to have children? Well, I chose not to have children because I felt that there were many things I could not give a child with regards to time, energy, a family, etc but I do know I would have...
    seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime 36-40, F 2 Responses May 12, 2012

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    My Two Daughters

    I have two daughters...People seem to have an opinion regarding both of them...My oldest is 28...been with her husband a total of five years...and married to him for one...Well different people...ranging from her friends...family...down to the people that she works with is always...
    singer1960 singer1960 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 20, 2008

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    No Support Groups For Women Without Children.

    I found out at 35 (20 years ago) that I had polycystic ovaries and endometriosis. I can still remember going for my pre-op appointment for the hysterectomy and being in the waiting room on well baby day. I was hysteric. There was a kind nurse that noticed me bawling my head...
    pjacobs16 pjacobs16 51-55 3 Responses Jan 9, 2012

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    I Guess I Have Some Time To Change My Mind...

    ...I am 27 years old and for the last few years I have been in the mind set that I do not want to have children. I have various psychological problems that are on-going and I don't think I would be capable of having a child without messing it up psychologically, I wouldn't intend...
    trixabell trixabell 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 14, 2010

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    Fed Up

    I cant have children. I get fed up with women who try to tell me giving birth is the best thing you will ever do in your life. Women who have 1 child and get upset because they want more kids and cant or I want a girl/boy. I hate women who say to me you will never know love until...
    tamaraheeney tamaraheeney 36-40 7 Responses Sep 30, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    Why ya gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too! Nah but seriously. I can probably count the amount of times people have said "excuse me" when bumping into me on one hand.
    emiveritas emiveritas 18-21, F Sep 5

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    In my social studies class I kept coughing bcuz this girl next to me sprayed a strong Purfume and she said "girl cough the other way" and I wasn't even coughing at her -.- and then...
    Botdf1shutup Botdf1shutup 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 4

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    Some people are mean and want to hurt people for no reason! Like seriously, WTF?! I hate bully's >:|
    LilHitler LilHitler 70+, M Sep 5

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    Society has morphed us into thinking that the women with the best looks and figure triumphs. Witnessing the truth happening around me and my friends just double confirmed my belief...
    ohmaimama ohmaimama 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 1

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    I'm sitting here in a boring room It's just another Rainy sunday afternoon I'm wasting my time I got nothing to do I'm hanging around I'm waiting for you But nothing ever happens...
    Enjoyyourlife Enjoyyourlife 26-30, M Aug 17

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    The other day I almost got into a car crash and I kinda wonder why I told her that the light was red because if I hadn't she would have crashed
    JalenFrankie616 JalenFrankie616 13-15, F Aug 29

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    I am seriously wondering why humans hate werewolves so much! I mean, sure every once in a while a human might be killed by a rouge, but that's like judging the whole entire human...
    Firtreegirl15 Firtreegirl15 13-15, F Sep 6

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    I love how women are invulnerable at times but are emotionally strong when the situation calls for it. I love how straightforward we are but sensitive to those who lacks care and...
    purplefreespirit purplefreespirit 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 21

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    I believe all women are beautiful but shouldn't be able to drive. Did you know that in Iraq women aren't allowed to drive and that country has an average of 7 accidents per year...
    2gnillort 2gnillort 70+, M 2 Responses Aug 31

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