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I Wonder Why Childless Women Are So Scorned By Society

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 215 People

    My Two Daughters

    I have two daughters...People seem to have an opinion regarding both of them...My oldest is 28...been with her husband a total of five years...and married to him for one...Well different people...ranging from her friends...family...down to the people that she works with is always...
    singer1960 singer1960 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 20, 2008

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    Forgotten Womb

    I'm 33 yrs. old, single, childless (medical reasons), and it hurts more than anything I know. Up until about a year ago I couldn't stand to hear of someone I knew being pregnant. It was very difficult for me to express happiness for them. I would always cry myself to sleep that...
    Forgottenwomb Forgottenwomb 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 4, 2012

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    You're Not Selfish

    I have read a lot of stories in this group, and one of the prevailing themes is that women who don't want children have been told that they are "selfish". Well, listen, you're not. Quite the opposite, actually. You're wise. When you really think about it, there are a lot of women...
    atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 26-30 Jul 10, 2010

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    They Are Simply Jealous!

    Have read all of your heartfelt comments.  Please, never feel as though you owe anyone any explanation as to why you are childless.  If they really have time to get into this with you then they do not have enough to do.  I have lost count of the times people...
    IrisElizabeth IrisElizabeth 56-60, F 6 Responses May 2, 2009

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    Military Wife Childfee By Choice- Am I The Only One??

    Well, my title says it all. Thankfully we only have 6 years left, and hopefully the next move will be the last! I am fine with my friends at home- many have now had a child (ONE!), and I still love them and get along. Now, pick me up and move me into a community of insecure...
    PBcookies PBcookies 36-40 2 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    My Story

    I'm a woman in my forties who has chosen not to have children. Why did I choose not to have children? Well, I chose not to have children because I felt that there were many things I could not give a child with regards to time, energy, a family, etc but I do know I would have...
    seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime 36-40, F 2 Responses May 12, 2012

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    I found this today which helped me enormously -

    it may or may not help you depending upon your perspective but I hope it gives hope or is inspiring for some. There is definately a need to redress the crap childless and childfree woman are given by society along the lines of 'constructive discrimination' or redressing the...
    GardenFaery GardenFaery 41-45 Jan 14

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    Childless And A Mess

    I am 26married for 4 yearshad three miscarriageshave polycystic ovarieshave endometriousis1 miscarriage by ivf with three further ivf without successnot coping with mental side of such a child society
    tilly85 tilly85 26-30 2 Responses Mar 5, 2012

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    Never Have And Never Will

    I think I decided not to have children in my early teens, I'm now 35. I was told at the time that I would change my mind when the biological clock kicked in but it never has and I'm even more adamant to this day that it's not a life choice for me. Thankfully I'm engaged to a...
    Effeoh Effeoh 31-35 3 Responses Jan 7, 2013

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    Not Sure How To Define It...

    I had a child who died before his first birthday, and I never had another one, so am I truly childless, or "the mother of a dead child" ? I don't like saying the latter, because not only does it still hurt, but it invites pitying questions that I'd generally rather not deal with...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 46-50, F 6 Responses Dec 25, 2012

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    The Dangers Of Socialization

                Socialization is necessary for maintaining a healthy society, but it can also be a dangerous tool.  Gender socialization is certainly no exception to the rule.  We, like every other human civilization...
    WildMagic WildMagic 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 17, 2010

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    The Urge Is Absent

    I'm 35, single, and have no children. I don't say childless because 1) I don't feel that I nor my life is less for not having children and 2) I don't believe that having kids is going to enhance or make my life more (children are neither furniture nor accessories). That said, I...
    Togleby Togleby 31-35, F 5 Responses Sep 26, 2012

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    I Guess I Have Some Time To Change My Mind...

    ...I am 27 years old and for the last few years I have been in the mind set that I do not want to have children. I have various psychological problems that are on-going and I don't think I would be capable of having a child without messing it up psychologically, I wouldn't intend...
    trixabell trixabell 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 14, 2010

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    I Know

    I'm unmarried with no children and it's a very awkward position to be in. I have a married sister who has three kids and I'm self-conscious around her. Whenever I go out and see married people around my age with a family of their own, I feel so small and dorky! It's not that I...
    MySweetLord MySweetLord 36-40, F 11 Responses Aug 31, 2009

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    No Kids For Me

    I'm 34 years old and have no children by choice.  I grew up the only child of a single mother and on welfare.  At a very young age I set standards for myself when it came to having children.  1)  I must be in a good and stable relationship when I decide...
    ShatteredSilk ShatteredSilk 36-40, F 8 Responses Oct 15, 2008

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    Lost And Alone

    I am a recently married 39 year old step-mom.At 19 I had an abortion.  Not because I didn't want to be a mom, but because that is what my mother taught me should be done.  I wouldn't want a baby to ruin my life.  Now it feels very much like that baby has ruined me...
    Childlessandhurting Childlessandhurting 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2010

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    No Support Groups For Women Without Children.

    I found out at 35 (20 years ago) that I had polycystic ovaries and endometriosis. I can still remember going for my pre-op appointment for the hysterectomy and being in the waiting room on well baby day. I was hysteric. There was a kind nurse that noticed me bawling my head...
    pjacobs16 pjacobs16 51-55 3 Responses Jan 9, 2012

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    Why Your Childless Girl Friends Are Worth Their Weight In Gold

    When you become a mom, remember to hold onto your childless girl friends, because more than ever, they will be worth their weight in gold. That's right, most of us new moms ditch those single gals, whose priorities are now so different from ours. But in spite of the radical...
    MaxineR MaxineR 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    32 And Left Behind

    It's official...I am the last of my friends to be unattached and childless. Not by choice either. I'm educated, have a good job, friendly, loyal, loving, compassionate, and not a dog either! Just a couple of weeks ago, my last single-and-carefree friend announced she was...
    SXDX380 SXDX380 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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    Think Before You Speak

    I am 44 yrs old with no children. I have been married previously, and I am currently married. I do not have children due to medical reasons. But people assume and judge me immediately upon hearing that I do not have children. In my thirties people looked curious, now in my...
    rachel717 rachel717 46-50, F 30 Responses Oct 15, 2008

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    Rant

    I'm 20 and newly married. My husband and I strongly agree that we do not want kids. Not now and not ever. Currently we live with my dad, who lives on disability. My husband works part-time on 8.35 an hour and I work full time on 7.75 an hour. Neither of us are college graduates...
    missynegative missynegative 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 15, 2008

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    Having It All

    The push today is for women to "have it all." The pinnacle of success is if you have both kids AND a prestigious, high-paying career. Well, sometimes I think this is a revolting concept and a toxic message. So, CAN you have it all? Well, yes and no. Technically, you can, but you...
    atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 26-30 Jul 11, 2010

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    I Want To Be A Mother, Not Simply Have Children...why Can't People Get This!?

    I have been transparent, lamenting out loud regarding my infertility. Some well-meaning folks have said to me “you have a husband now, you should be grateful” or “you should be grateful for what you have, not focusing on what you don’t have.” Being childless isn’t a...
    whatswrongwithme46 whatswrongwithme46 46-50 3 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    I'm Not Knocking Motherhood

    I want you to understand where I'm coming from. I'm not the stereotypical snooty, overeducated "career woman" who looks down her nose at women who decide to have children, or believes that all hands-on mothers are somehow weak, brainwashed cop-outs who aren't "living up to their...
    atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 26-30 3 Responses Jul 7, 2010

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    I'm 23 and people have told me my biological

    clock is ticking. Society really pressures women for children,and that is a mistake. Women need to be ready for a child.
    Rebecca321 Rebecca321 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 19

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    Just a Guess.

     In history, barren women weren't wanted because men wanted a child to keep their name alive and build their clan.  Times have moved beyond that.  The world is heavily populated and food for all is poorly distributed.  The only other thought I have (not there...
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M 11 Responses Jan 28, 2009

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    I Either Vent Or I Start Throwing Things.

    I am a college student. We're elbow-deep in the term, which means lots of homework, midterms, reviewing, etc. So that's what I've spent most of this beautiful Sunday doing-- staying indoors, working on my education. One little problem. Or should I say, four or five little...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 23, 2011

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    ???

    It's always something I've wondered for the longest time. I'm 31 years old, I've been married now for 3 years. Naturally I want to start a family but because of the way things have gone, it just hasn't been in the cards. I'll meet someone, be it a co-worker, a new friend of a...
    ALovelyMess ALovelyMess 31-35 2 Responses Dec 10, 2010

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    I Don't Want Kids

     "I don't want kids" I told my mother when I was 12. "We'll see when you're older", she sighed as if children were for those with a refined palate."I don't want kids", I told my mother when I was 17. "You'll change your mind", she snorted as if children were the holy grail of a...
    Mdear Mdear 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2011

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    Scorned For Not Having Kids, Hurts

    My story is like a lot of others, I know, however I cant help but feel alone in not being a mom,  because for me, even going to the grocery store is a reminder that I dont have kids - especially seeing girl scouts with their friends and mothers trying to...
    merijoe merijoe 46-50 5 Responses Apr 26, 2009

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    Fed Up

    I cant have children. I get fed up with women who try to tell me giving birth is the best thing you will ever do in your life. Women who have 1 child and get upset because they want more kids and cant or I want a girl/boy. I hate women who say to me you will never know love until...
    tamaraheeney tamaraheeney 36-40 7 Responses Sep 30, 2010

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    I Am Childless ..Big Deal!

    Lately, I've been asked by co workers if I have children. I tell them I am child less due to the fact that I have no husband. I emphasize that I am not willing to bear children for the simple fact of producing. I've always expected to get married and then have children...
    caramelLova1 caramelLova1 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 4, 2013

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    Sometimes Like Makes Decisions For You.

    When I was a little girl I always new I would get married and have children.  I thought I would be married and have a child by the age of 30.  Sometimes life doesn't go to plan.  I like to think I've lived life responsibly.  I have worked hard, paid my way without help from...
    Halo101 Halo101 36-40 Nov 23, 2011

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    Are They? Really?

                  I am slowly recovering from my reaction of amazement to finding an experience with this title. Maybe a few decades ago I would not have been so surprised, but... now?       ...
    Dawnriser Dawnriser 66-70, F 5 Responses Apr 27, 2009

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    Lots Of Nieces And Nephews But No Children

    I am 33 yrs. old and have been married for 3 and a half year. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 2 years. I definitely feel the psi. And heartache of women who wish to have children but struggle to conceive. I have a large family of eight brothers and...
    laur1279 laur1279 31-35 2 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    Empty Nest

    for 25 years i wanted to have a baby or three, to be pregnant and go through that whole process. i believe now that because of my troubled childhood, i needed to bond with someone who loved me unconditionally, even if it were only for a time. i wanted to have something in common...
    1almatrevino 1almatrevino 51-55, F May 11, 2012

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    I Don't Describe Myself As "childless"

    Like many of you lovely ladies in this group, when I've stated I don't want to have children I've been patronised, ridiculed, and felt pressured by society, friends and family (my mother wants to pay for my eggs to be frozen, "in case I change my mind"). I know lots of women who...
    JessBaker JessBaker 36-40 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    I Am A Valuable Person

    I thought I was fine.  My life has not gone as planned; however it has been better than I ever imagined.   Then last year my husband's daughter passed away.  When this most difficult event is brought up the first thing nearly everyone has asked "did she have...
    shireneu shireneu 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 25, 2010

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    I Don't Get It.. I Think People With Kids Must Be Jealous Of Their Freedom.

    my version of the "American Dream" is quite different from most of the people I know: For one reason or another: most people want to get married (as soon as humanly possible, most likely to the wrong person) and have kids (also as quickly as possible and most likely with the...
    wack1985 wack1985 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 12, 2010

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    Regret

    I have been married for 20 years. My husband told me when we hooked up that he was unable to have children. At that time (26 years old) I didn't wany children. When I hit 35, all that changed. After 3 failed attempts at artificial insemination, I gave up. I regret not tryig...
    slhh35 slhh35 46-50 3 Responses Jul 9, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I work in retail, I meet rude people that seem to think that their twenty dollar bill entitles them to act that way because they've had a bad day or my low place in society doesn't...
    mrrabbitdigital mrrabbitdigital 46-50, M 2 Responses Apr 8

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    There is a cashier that works at my local drugstore who used to work with my ex husband. She knows we are divorced, since February 2012, yet every time she checks me out she asks...
    garzagm garzagm 31-35, F 9 Responses 6 days ago

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    I don't get how some people you think are nice can be soo rude
    23bambi23 23bambi23 41-45, F 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    SpongeBOB gave me homework, and he gave me the task of completing this "story/experience" ... He's not going to be happy with me, because I really don't have any facts or logic to...
    Forget2Trust Forget2Trust 26-30, F 6 Responses Mar 26

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    To me, pregnant women always have smiles on their faces, they're always glowing, and they just look beautiful all the time. Lol, I get sorta jealous, actually. Pregnant women are...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Mar 27

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    Women are like fine wine. They just get better and better as time goes by.
    gotakink gotakink 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 2

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    Yes I do, even as a gay male I find them to be very interesting. I've never had a problem making friends with some of them, straight or gay. I think they find me non threatening...
    TanTwink TanTwink 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    I definitely believe that black women are very beautiful and I am a shining example of that fact. I take good care of myself by exercising, swimming, biking, playing sports, and...
    ebonynbill ebonynbill 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    She is truth and clear, Absolute and without shadow. Enraged her eyes black diamonds cut a weaker man with the malevolence every woman carves from its soul when scorned . In love...
    Lovefetishes Lovefetishes 46-50, M a week ago

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    Can any men out there explain this to me? I don't understand how your sex thinks. This guy and I had been talking for a few months. We had planned to meet up eventually but...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    Am I not deserving enough just to hava a taste of happiness with some1 tat i love? Why am i still single? Why am I still here brooding over the past, thinking of him knowing that...
    NamiNasz NamiNasz 31-35, F Apr 9

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    And I try to avoid them whenever possible. Possibly sometimes it's cultural; many cultures discount females as weak and insignificant without dreams save that which the community...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 46-50, F 10 Responses Mar 20

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    Is there some kind of diagnosis or personality defect that would be exhibited by a person having numerous close friends and being a pillar of the community, but having no interest...
    calpeach27 calpeach27 36-40 Mar 24

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    On this site, there are so many people feeling lonely already, that means there are much much more people feeling lonely in this world. So actually we are not lonely in feeling...
    OTIOSUM OTIOSUM 18-21, F Mar 31

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