is it the moments come now.
And yet the ache still twists and completely turns.
Even though I made a home I lost the fucken house.
I thought I was safe I thought I was loved.
I was nothing but filth to be washed not smudged.
Who could expect heat from eyes so dark and cold...
My angel of death
With long flowing dress’s
My life’s only breathe
I plot and I stock her
She knows I exist
I beckon her to me
Her steadfast resist
My beautiful darkness
You never look in my eyes
You’re so self-consuming
You’re always saying goodbyes’
"what's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
No matter thy name of Allie, Nor Enemy, a Devil, nor Saint..you are the one who has captured my lonely heart.
my dreams carry me, as my heart flutters a million butterflies... thinking of...
I held her hand so frail, so small.
I heard the weeping of those close by...
All those asking why.
I knew the time had come, I leaned in very close.
I could smell the slightest fragrance of her favorite perfume....
All at once there was silence in the room.
My lips now almost...
of my past visible only to me
An empty feeling
Leaves me reeling
As I stare out of my lifeless eyes
Waiting to feel my pulse
Day turns to night
Night turns to endlessness
As I feel the weight of the universe
Pushing me down
Down to the ground
deep within me
Where no one can see
Walls built thick through years of guilt
How the puzzle pieces don't really fit
To far down
Where they can't be found
Now within me
Will never be free
but can kill without a second thought.
Water is life upon which many seek,
But to much and you will sink.
A tree provides shade, beauty, and air
The leaves fall each season.
Then snow comes.
A beautiful yet wild thing.
Untainted, unmanned, disoriented
Yet with each snow flake...
once more on the floor
Pick them up to put back together?
No, I'll just leave them on the fu.ck.ing floor
My shattered dreams
Have cut me deep
Toxic thoughts brew in my brain
As I swallow the pain
With the dirt under my nails that won't come out
All I have left is to heap...
Death will find you,
encroached in the most sinister of dreams.
Clawed, bloody chest marks.
Mutilated baby dolls,
hurting…. to hurt, is to be alive.
Pain and death entwined,
Is to be reborn.
Reborn as a parasite,
The noise it makes has sealed my fate
It closes in.
I know I'll die to stay within
I rail against
The injustice of this cloying fence
I rush it
Smash it up
It bloodies me but gives me up
Says the Hatter, 'What’s the matter?
Your mind is going queer!'
Says the Rabbit (out of habit)
'Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
In my mind I think you’ll find
A cog is coming loose...
Explaining why (you can’t deny)
My thoughts are quite diffuse!'
Replies the Hatter...
a troubled mindset would re-invent. A once carefree and happy teen, succumbing to pervasive screams. "Desires to kill" began his cries. The death of his Mother gave birth to lies. This mental illness had taken hold, the rest is fact (as will un-fold). Growing up an only child...
darkened days drenched daily.
its own apocalyptic undoing.
For the highly functioning monsters,
who hunt alone.
Lacking a parent or two,
or maybe beginning with none at all.
segregated and alone for all to see,
Embracing the devil...
and rot it?
How is it that you run out of meadows?
When will it start raining colors besides bloody red??
You can dance on coal, but how about a mirror?
Will you be able to stand the sight of yourself?
living inside the minds of all those of the abused.
Alone with my thoughts
What's that like?
Silence is overrated
For the record, so is night
The darkness in this mind
The chaos never ends
Tears I can't cry
And happiness pretends
Coating the door
Can't shut my...
drip drip drip
the blood leaving the wounds of my body seeps into the dark earth
why was it so easy to be destroyed and maimed by the ones who I thought I could trust
drip drip drip
I feel the weakness growing in me
I am alone now but what good is it to have defeated my...
Demigods of Logic and ill Wisdom
Loaded pistol pointed blank
Towards the blissful existence
Incisions into true human visions.
Walk forward blind into the firing line
Like a prisoner with his hands tied
and his Mind fried, a slave to nonexistent time,
Dead yet as well as Alive...
the soul but for some "appearance" seems to take the leading role from a scene where "ones virtues" fall in to decay, within this sickened feature film once thought as "too risque" so the prior "innocents" succumb to the trappings of "fame" (these twisted values) and perversions...
I am a wolf with anger that grows and grows, till the day it snaps. All run loose with thrill. we all have issues in life, is family really there ?
Can I play freely in the night underneath a moonless sky, to a forest we run, and in a cave we hide. To echoes of voices we hear...
The glamorous stones draw the eye
Whilst the others: in the sun they fry.
The yellow sickle-swords taunt the dead,
Whilst the powerful lie cast upon a stone made bed.
But nor they will be remembered, still
For no soul treads the path by the mill.
and as this...
I feel your presence slowly creep,
As if my soul you came to reap.
The fear infects my thoughts so deep,
I feel you watching as I sleep.
The apparition fills my door,
Sending shivers through my core.
Too terrifying to ignore,
As she moves across my floor.
She takes her place...
through everything I could try
seems some are not meant for much
and I just happen to be such
is time to go, leave what I care for most
after all, I'm only a host
God! Answer me! why did I survive
just to wish I'd have died?
where are those who swore to stay by my side?
darkness seems to surround me where i go..it is my friend and my enemy.it is my serenity blanket of security like a little child.it scares me and hurts me so. wherever i go i carry darkness with me for i've only known darkness.I can't stand in fear against it and yet i fear it...
Day by day,
We own our one lie.
Promises are broken,
We all give up hope.
Who was first to go?
Trapped inside, alone and scared.
We survive these days, living in fear.
Their minds are their home,
To see nothing,
and always be alone.
For a moment,
A brave soul...
My broken heart
My screaming brain
The questions why
I do not know
She will not speak
To tell me so
How do you stop my bleeding heart?
The love I’ve lost
A poison dart
I cry alone
The pain inside
To much to bare
I can’t abide
This life, to much
From out of blackest pits of hell
There comes a form you know too well
Upon your thoughts it feeds and dwells
And fed by fear its stature swells
You try to block it from your mind
But something in you undefined
Feels apathetically resigned
To give it what it’s come to...
Kids wearing deep frowns,
Intoxicating pollution kills with no care,
Life was happy and used to be fair,
Poor child am I,
Gazing at the thick smog pondering why?,
Father and mother brought me into this world,
Not a damn given as I sit in waste,
This planet suffocates and with...
there is a creature that comes from a place where there is no hope or joy. The air itself is filled with misery. His heart is filled with a sadness that words really cannot depict. He walks among you but you would never noticed him. He is me.
I really did,
That was my mistake.
I put a knife to my throat,
A gun to my head,
The knife slides like butter across my throat,
The bullet tears through me,
As I'm bleeding out,
Do I see a helping hand?
No of course not,
I'm just am extra in...
All laid out to waste
Mesmerized inner glance
Pitch black circumstance
Pitched scream, ignorance
leaves copper-like taste
Waking state will deflower
nightmarish morning hour
vade retro black in power
virgin minds stay...
but had once shone so very bright
are now filled with a sadness and is losing the battle and will to fight.
Her mind is torn and twisted not knowing what she should do
as the battle rages within her head and heart tearing her in two.
Her fighting and inner strength is really...
until you want something from me.
You ignore me when I need you.
You neglect my feelings and emotions for you.
You have forgotten that I exist until you no longer have someone else.
You dismiss me like a rag doll into the abyss.
I'm tired of being rejected like some nothing that...
The pain, the shame,
That I hide beneath the smile in my eyes,
And the nightmares,
They continue to wake me,
Leaving a trail of tears along my face,
Some escaping to my hands,
Leaving invisible marks of the churning emotions below the smile in my eyes.
A feeling which just never was.
A thought I'll never miss.
This feeling of depression;
I tell you I'm alright,
now leave me be and go away.
My tears kept out of sight.
This feeling of depression;
I tell you I'm ok,
Now close your eyes and rest your head.
and crying tonight
And as I look my Demon he is by my side
He laughs at me with a devilish smile
He says "I'll only be here a little while"
He spands his wings and we take flight
He takes me to my childhood and I close my eyes
I hear my screams and I hear my cries
I feel the...
I can't do it
It will go wrong
Living is hard
Just can't go on
I'm tired of this
Too much pain
I can't endure this
Just not again
I can't hold it in
I just need to cry
But first I have to
Just say goodbye
All I feel
Is crippling sorrow
Unable to conceive