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I Write Down My Thoughts

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,480 People

    I can't tell if I used to be more astute

    and incisive and just grew more sluggish and inane over the years, or if I'm just smart enough now to realize I was never as smart as I used to think I was to begin with. Either way, the old lipid computer is in dire need of a disk cleanup and defragmentation, man.
    haverOfCamelcaseInHisUsername haverOfCamelcaseInHisUsername 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 22

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    Don't Love Me- I scream internally.

    Even through all the pain my heart carried, I've never been able to cry. I was drought. I was empty. Any insult, any compliment, I am indifferent to in question of sentiment. I know that it hurts. I know that it saddens me, I know that it breaks me. But even then, my eyes...
    HariTheHamster HariTheHamster 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 25, 2015

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    Thoughts: When the very thing

    that protected you and helped you escape suffering vanishes, he is left guard-less and open to his harsh reality. It is only He, now, who can get up and find a way through the maze or give up and perish.
    lifetime201 lifetime201 18-21, M Jul 21, 2015

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    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 26, 2015

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    I can't help writing down my thoughts.

    It helps me think better. When I want to read something I will have it to look at.
    ejoallen ejoallen 13-15, F Jan 7

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    She's the girl that believes what comes around

    goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won't give up on you. She's the girl that's unlike the rest. The one that spent her her days smiling, and her nights crying. She's the girl that would love to be loves. The one that looks so damn strong, but...
    Jhayz Jhayz 26-30, F 9 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    i want to keep on writing about them,

    right now. but the ideas just flood in and i couldn't grasp all the words. maybe some other time.
    elysium9527 elysium9527 22-25, F Dec 9, 2015

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    How Strange

    We are a troubled people, rotting in a time when delusions of grandeur are as common as our dependency on the constant monitoring of people wealthier than ourselves is rampant. We follow routines in the fashion that our media broadcaster of choice dictates. We are wholly...
    Triundi Triundi 26-30, M Sep 14, 2012

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    You don't know what happiness is

    until you see your little kid suffering from stomach pains let out a few big farts and smile at the end of them.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 11, 2015

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    Sometimes I just wish I could run away from it

    all.. Everyone and everything.
    TheBull2016 TheBull2016 36-40, F 3 Responses Oct 10, 2015

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    Gestalt Prayer...Something To Think About.

    "I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped." (Fritz Perls, 1969...
    catwhiskers catwhiskers 31-35, F 8 Responses Sep 13, 2011

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    I am a very emotional

    and emphatic person. I can be walking down the street and a situation or a person will inspire me randomly. It will move me enough to log onto EP and write about it. It is a lifeline for me and a way of sharing and connecting with others which is of course the beauty of this...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 2 Responses May 29, 2015

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    Love is like a tampon.

    It always comes with a string attached. :-P
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 9, 2015

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    I think, there for I thought it.

    ..yea...Uh huh! Who gets you, understands you as you are? Sees you in your light and darkness. Desires as much as you do just to feel complete acceptance faults and all. Whose love is to dive deeper beyond your mind and soul but as far as you could possibly go...who is it that...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Mar 3, 2015

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    We don't all have the same idea of the meaning

    of music that appeals to us but for me, this is the kind of music that I would drink to my worst moments, would imagine on my happiest moments, the moment my dreams and hopes are dashed to. The kind of music I'd want to forget, yet remember over and over again... http://youtu...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2015

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    Is it you? Are you here

    as my reprieve? Are you meant to be my support while I get through this? Or are you my one night stand? You have the same background as I. You get why I blushed when you asked me what you did. You figured it was a blush, and not a brush-off. I wasn't expecting this. What...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 13

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    I haven't always been a happy,

    confident person. In fact Im not always a happy, confident person. Long ago, during one of my darkest times, I was really, truly broken and I was lost. Don't want to focus on how I got there, most of us know how we end up in darkness, not all of us know how to move towards the...
    SagSunshine2014 SagSunshine2014 31-35, F 2 Responses May 23, 2014

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    When I lost you a year ago,

    during the night it felt like my world imploded and came raining down me, but during the day my mind couldn't register that you were no longer with me.
    Etherealinsanity Etherealinsanity 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2015

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    Hey My Love, my Life Line.

    Thank you. The most beautiful one, in a special way. I'm sorry I was scared, but you helped me through. I love you My Love...
    nancycandy1234567890 nancycandy1234567890 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    Welcome in the dimension of an apathetic

    bipolar manic depressed suicidal global empath with many anger tisues & mood swings but is also an hybride carrying Spartan Zulu & Nerviers roots I live on my own in the heart of the most beautiful Antwerp city has a 20 year old son who's living with his mother & sister outside...
    Egolikeme69 Egolikeme69 46-50, M Dec 8, 2015

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    LOVE YOURSELF ON THE HIGHEST GRADE STUDY

    ENDLESS YOURSELF TO KNOW YOURSELF BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF WITH ONLY TO LIE FOR RIGHT THINGS AND THE PROTECTION OF YOURSELF AND NEVER BEING FAKE THIS ARE THE MEANINGS OF LIFE THIS IS WHAT EVERY SINGLE HUMAN NEEDS SUPPOSED TO DO TO LOSE HIS COMPLEXES Unknown***Zero...
    Egolikeme69 Egolikeme69 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 8, 2015

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    He's baiting me! And I'm drunk!

    I need to stay focused!!
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 5

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    When I younger I had a diary,

    and at that time it was just me ranting about the boys I like. My parents found my diary, and I didn't have a life for about 2 months. (am I the only one who thinks it was wrong for them to read it?). Fast forward a few years and I bought myself a new one. I had one for each...
    Lacrimosadies Lacrimosadies 18-21, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Logged in meaning to write about my giddy

    feelings for someone but thinking instead about the death of a friend's loved one. Life is so unpredictable. Good times appear to be so short compared to the sad ones. The ones forever lost, they still haunt us. Our memories. Perhaps I am running away from it all. Or perhaps...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 25, 2015

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    All day long, the song was playing in my head.

    I hummed it as I worked, I tried to switch to other songs, was successful for a short time but then fell right back into the old one. "All I Want For Christmas Is You." I did. Dearly. Deeply. Just a glimpse. A touch of pinkies. A gaze at the color of your bright blue eyes...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 25, 2015

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    Unattachment I think I am currently learning

    this lesson: It is unbelievable how I am attached to people. I caught myself wishing for a life time kinda friend, one who would be always there for me. But it is not possible for one person to be there always. People have their own problems and their own path to fallow! I...
    Camehashi Camehashi 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 6

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    You fell in love with my flowers

    but not with my roots, so when Autumn arrived you didn’t know what to do.
    NewRomantics NewRomantics 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2015

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    People don't get how powerful antidepressants

    are. If they work, it's the best thing that's ever happened to them. If they don't, it's no different from where they were before. But getting off them.....is hell. Especially if you've been on them for a while. Because all the emotions the meds suppressed are coming back...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 4 Responses May 26, 2015

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    come quickly, I'm calling piercing the

    silence sounds falling upon deaf ears they can hear, but choose not to listen
    annalea annalea 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 14, 2015

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    Crushes keep us young!

    !! "I really really really really really like yoouuuuu!!!" :) :)
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 4, 2015

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    I do, and I write a lot,

    but some people can't seem to mind thier business ...(rolling eyes)
    For3v3r7 For3v3r7 70+, F Jan 18

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    When you've lost your heart,

    it's damn hard to keep the head from following suit.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 8, 2015

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    I walked in and I saw his face,

    and I knew it was over. That's why he was here. So I sat there and listened while he held back his tears and told me what I'd expected. And I felt only one thing. Immense relief!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :)
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    The troubled mind is a dark

    and twisted place; like a garden so overgrown and tangled with bramble and thorn that one cannot find the beauty without being torn. It is a jungle not so easily traversed by the divining rods of those seeking simple clues and quick diagnosis, rather a swamp of extraordinary...
    OakleysWorld OakleysWorld 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 19, 2015

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    when im depress or mad I write down things

    that I wanted to say instead of being an idiot that show people how depressed and mad I am... its better to be a shadow then being seen.....
    nuryuriana20 nuryuriana20 13-15, F 2 hrs ago

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    EP is like a diary to me.

    Now I must start writing my journal again.I may not be here forever though what I write about here ,I may not like to reveal in my real life as it hurt people close to me.
    whitesunshine87 whitesunshine87 51-55, F 2 Responses May 4, 2015

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    What is the body, after all?

    A vehicle. It can be destroyed. The voice of the soul will go on. Why do we cry for a materialistic body? Would you love it the same if there were no soul? Did you not love Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, even if its author had been dead so many years? So then why...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 12, 2015

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    You know what's a stupid question?

    It's when the psychiatrist asks you, "How are you?" as she ushers you in. What am I supposed to say, SPECTACULAR?! I wouldn't be here if I was, B!tch!
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 23, 2015

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    You state you've never heard of beards

    or tattoos killing someone, but you have heard about people with guns killing; I can only hope that you missed the irony and weren't intentionally hoping that others would miss it as well. I have to ask. Have you ever seen a gun without a person kill someone? Have you never seen...
    Triundi Triundi 26-30, M 4 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    It was the best breakup ever

    because he finally did all the things that I'd wanted and he'd withheld in our ten month long relationship: He told me he loved me. He told me he'd miss my laugh, our walks and our talks. He kissed me with abandon. That was all I ever wanted. Makes you think, people get so...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    I could either have a really good cry right now

    or I could watch some por.n. Por.n it is!
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    In the end who we are,

    we are. People will try to change you, bend you, humiliate you, kill you etc. But that drive of self love and love for others will always be present. People are social animals. With just a smile and they lift your spirit up. A simple hello, hey how are you, how was your day, let...
    opportunist opportunist 18-21, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Get stuck in a rut. It kills the spirit,

    your drive and motivation to do anything. It's the worst predicament in the word to be living but not feel alive and just wonder what now ? How to move on? Where to? And feelings of loneliness and apathy ensue because you've lost interest, and can't keep contact. You slowly...
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 1, 2015

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    Too much depth, too much soul,

    high standards, loving hard, keeping it real and dreaming big. But right now, I'm fatigued. And that's ok...
    SagSunshine2014 SagSunshine2014 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 25, 2015

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    It is such a lonely road.

    At first you think your companion is in the same car as you and the road is pretty and pleasant and you have much to share in your conversation. Little by little, you realize he's actually in another vehicle. You take this as a good-humored challenge. You race. You make faces at...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 22, 2015

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