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I Write Down My Thoughts

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,085 People

    The days...they run together.

    ..like notes of a song...but my heart is so empty...I cannot sing along. ~ Tim M.
    Mencrytoo Mencrytoo 46-50, M 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I come from USA I am apart of the American

    indian culture. but for some reason mom doesn't know that we do. and my stepfather is white and comes from a different culture. I was not raised white the white culture even though I am legally white. its confusing bc I have been exposed to different cultures while growing up.
    beachboy14u beachboy14u 18-21, T 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

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    i have not felt so awkward before,

    the pain of losing some one for ever, remind me how weak are we, i can't do anything to save him, his memory has overwhelmingly pinned my heart , and this pain of his departure is unbearable. i have realized this life is too short, i wish it could have been longer together.
    notagain4u notagain4u 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 21

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    come quickly, I'm calling piercing the

    silence sounds falling upon deaf ears they can hear, but choose not to listen
    annalea annalea 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 14

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    I haven't always been a happy,

    confident person. In fact Im not always a happy, confident person. Long ago, during one of my darkest times, I was really, truly broken and I was lost. Don't want to focus on how I got there, most of us know how we end up in darkness, not all of us know how to move towards the...
    SagSunshine2014 SagSunshine2014 41-45, F 2 Responses May 23, 2014

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    I am a very emotional

    and emphatic person. I can be walking down the street and a situation or a person will inspire me randomly. It will move me enough to log onto EP and write about it. It is a lifeline for me and a way of sharing and connecting with others which is of course the beauty of this...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 2 Responses May 29

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    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F Jun 22

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    I try to be patient. I'm not good at waiting.

    I want to see him more than ever. But for now I sit in silence consumed in my thoughts.
    HiddenGems HiddenGems 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 14

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    msj02 msj02 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    EP is like a diary to me.

    Now I must start writing my journal again.I may not be here forever though what I write about here ,I may not like to reveal in my real life as it hurt people close to me.
    whitesunshine87 whitesunshine87 51-55, F 2 Responses May 4

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    Logged in meaning to write about my giddy

    feelings for someone but thinking instead about the death of a friend's loved one. Life is so unpredictable. Good times appear to be so short compared to the sad ones. The ones forever lost, they still haunt us. Our memories. Perhaps I am running away from it all. Or perhaps...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 25

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    I understand this past week was rough

    and you were hurt but you need to understand: I'm an inconsistent, wavering, impulsive, obsessive, mistrustful being and yes, nothing will be constant as long as we try to make it work in our present circumstances. I'm sorry but there it is. I'm writing this in the event he...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 21

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    Gestalt Prayer...Something To Think About.

    "I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped." (Fritz Perls, 1969...
    catwhiskers catwhiskers 31-35, F 8 Responses Sep 13, 2011

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    I think, there for I thought it.

    ..yea...Uh huh! Who gets you, understands you as you are? Sees you in your light and darkness. Desires as much as you do just to feel complete acceptance faults and all. Whose love is to dive deeper beyond your mind and soul but as far as you could possibly go...who is it that...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Mar 3

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    I can't seem to dispel my sadness,

    I can't find it in me to "live" and "be happy"—I am simply a shell because all I do is exist...maybe life isn't meant for everyone.
    Etherealinsanity Etherealinsanity 18-21, F 2 Responses May 16

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    It will come soon.. very much soon.

    . There are no considerations, whether you are young or old, poor or rich, a good person or the bad ones. You just have to wait for that day to come, do not rush it and while waiting you can do things, make a life, make love, make friends, make mistakes, make your time worthy...
    msj02 msj02 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    He gets jealous when I tell him about my past

    experiences with other couples. He's helped me stop depending on anti depressants. He's made me believe in coincidences again. He'll take long walks with me over uprooted trees and barely there trails, just to spend time with me. I hear his compassionate words and thoughts...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 2 Responses May 30

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    Crushes keep us young!

    !! "I really really really really really like yoouuuuu!!!" :) :)
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 4

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    I must be a psychopath.

    I broke someone's heart and I don't feel a thing. Half of it is the bloody meds I'm on, the other half is exhaustion. I can't do this to his wife, I can't live with myself being "the other woman." I want total transparency. If that means being platonic friends, so be it. At...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 17

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    You know what's a stupid question?

    It's when the psychiatrist asks you, "How are you?" as she ushers you in. What am I supposed to say, SPECTACULAR?! I wouldn't be here if I was, B!tch!
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 23

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    It appears that I am drawn to the "damaged"

    people more than the "sane" ones. Birds of a feather and all that, perhaps?
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 20

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    I Think I Should Write A Book

    A book that contains all the random thoughts I just put down in writing. Including rants, experiences, dreams... Just things you don't see in books, not even in diaries. I'd read that. I don't know if anyone else would.
    elenaki elenaki 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 20, 2013

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    I am constantly trapped between my conscious

    and subconscious; a girl with deluded determination and a mind often overridden by thoughts... I am a dreamer living in reality...
    Etherealinsanity Etherealinsanity 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 19, 2014

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    do you know that feeling

    when you look at celebrities with their fancy houses and expensive sporty cars and how awesome it will be if you were celebrity? that's how i feel when i look families, all what i got is brothers never talk to each other and parents fighting ALL the time and actually trying to...
    comlpicatedguy comlpicatedguy 18-21, M May 18

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    May Blessings

    1. 18th anniversary of living 2. Family, friends (both in real life and online) 3. GPA 4. Amusement park (especially the bump cars) 5. Books
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    The fun hasn't begun

    until you feel something in your a**. I'm talking about running, you pervs. ;-D
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response May 17

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    When the going gets tough i usually write a

    long front and back paper on how i feel at the moment about everything..about life. It helps me a lot with my emotions rather than keeping them bottled up its like letting it all out on the paper and then i could finally get some sleep cause those thoughts are oute
    marnssss marnssss 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 27, 2014

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    What kind of woman writes to her bf: Do you

    still want me? Will I see you again? Is this the end? This was such a bad, bad time to go off the meds. I wish I could write poetry. You can sound stupid and pathetic and needy in writing and people are disgusted but if you make it poetic, they praise you. Wtf, man.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response May 26

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    Never thought I'd feel like a teenager again in

    my 40s, where he jogs by my house in the hopes of getting a glimpse of me. I'm not a romantic but.. that's cute as hell. :)
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F May 24

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    I like to write down my thoughts

    and how I'm feeling, it helps me understand them. usually I write about 3 pages and then I burn the paper because I don't want anyone else to read them.
    Jodieeee95 Jodieeee95 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 27, 2014

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    Etherealinsanity Etherealinsanity 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    Today was suppose to be a good day.

    . w/e.. everybody can **** off.
    dubbalyzz dubbalyzz 22-25, F 4 Responses May 18

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    "Sometimes I love you,

    sometimes I feel blue" http://youtu.be/kg4oLLlCD4o What are the chances this song would come on right after a breakup (is it a breakup? Can we last?)
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F Jun 17

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    I can't believe I'm laughing out loud at the

    SpongeBob movie. I must be drunk...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    A Few Things On My Mind

    Okay so recently I've been very stressed because of school, my friends, and some of my Internet friends. I'm just sort of typing what I think as I think it and I apologize in advance if this offends anybody because that's not my intention, the last thing I wanna do is hurt anyone...
    BrokenDreamer14 BrokenDreamer14 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    Because I don't want to be a bother to other

    people. They have problems just like me, and having my problems come into their lives would make it worse.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F May 19

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    You state you've never heard of beards

    or tattoos killing someone, but you have heard about people with guns killing; I can only hope that you missed the irony and weren't intentionally hoping that others would miss it as well. I have to ask. Have you ever seen a gun without a person kill someone? Have you never seen...
    Triundi Triundi 26-30, M 4 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    I have kept and written in diaries

    and journals for years. I had managed to fill up over a hundred journals, all filled with dark poetry, pain, randomness, quotes, days of light, darkness, and uncertainty. Then, I threw them all away, hoping that all of that negativity would go with it. It was hard to do, to...
    XantheoftheStar XantheoftheStar 22-25, F May 18

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    Thinking

    The greatest element of the functioning member of modern civilization is the interpersonal relationship. The whole of life is an effect of the actions exchanged between people that we see every day or never again. We are social beings by nature, but we are not inherently...
    Triundi Triundi 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    The 5 Secrets Of A Happy Woman

    1. It is important to find a man who shares with you all the responsibility and tasks of your home.  A man that has a good job. 2. It is important to find a happy man,  who enjoys to dance,  romantic getaways and able to makes you laugh. 3. It is...
    MyNameIsCecilia MyNameIsCecilia 46-50, F 16 Responses Mar 4, 2010

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    Dear Future Husband, I pray

    that our God continues to mold me into the woman that He has called me to be. I promise to save myself for you & never sacrifice myself for any worldly things. I will not settle for less and set my expectations high. I will look up to our God as my guide, my comforter, & measure...
    SagSunshine2014 SagSunshine2014 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 29, 2014

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    Surely there is a lesson in this senselessness.

    My instinct at bad news is to pull away and crawl into my shell. But maybe this is a sign I shouldn't.. I should talk about it and express myself. He makes me do that. How does he do that? How does he always know exactly what to say to me to make me feel better?
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 3 Responses May 16

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    Sometimes, I really feel like leaving all the

    gakkai's group chat. There are at least 10 group chats in my whatsapp. It's not that I don't want to practice this Buddhism. I just feel like too much of messages and get irritated when people keep informing bout the activities. Sigh.
    EasyOrange EasyOrange 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    GreyMattertome GreyMattertome 18-21, F Jun 27, 2014

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    When you've lost your heart,

    it's damn hard to keep the head from following suit.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 8

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    My ex guy friend treats me in a dirty way

    which i realized its a reflection of what my ex talked behind me,how can i prove to his friend that i am a good girl and his friend was the *******?
    amandaa10 amandaa10 22-25, F May 20

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