Confessions from Dublin

I moved to a new city three years ago, and came to a new school. I was an outcast and he stood by me the whole way. We're closer than ever now, and I can't help but feel like I'm falling in love with him.  He's always been there for me, whenever I needed it, and he's done so much for me. I'd give the world for him; he means everything to me. He's the best friend I could ever ask for. The problem is, I don't think he's gay, and while I want to tell him more than anything, I don't know what I'd do if our friendship was compromised because I couldn't get over him. But I love him, and there isn't anything I can do about it.

I was not looking for anyone, in a long term relationship unhappy, but arent we all. He swept me off my feet and I needed to be loved like I used to be.

He is married also unhappy 3 kids and I have 1.He said he loved me like he never loved a woman before.

I was prepared to walk away from my long term partner and start with him. He asked me to run away with him.A bit drastic I thought.

Ifell head over heals in love with him, thought of him from minute I woke till I went to sleep.

When I told him I would leave my partner he started saying he had to make sure his kids were ok and he could not walk away , give me time he said.

The 20 times a day ph calls went down to 3 or 4 and the 50 texts a day went to 5 or 6, the I love yous stopped even the x nite nite stopped 

He used to go miles out of his way to see me, guess what now once a fortnight is what it has gone to,

I made a fool out of mysef I am slowly realizing that I was just a bit of fun and now I sit here sad as sad as can be and wonder how I could of been so stupid. 

I have a man at home who loves me even though the passion that once was is gone ,but he respects me and loves me and my part time lover he does not care for me like that, even though I once believed he did.

How stupid have I been and I know he will ring or text me and want to meet up and I hope I can find the strength to say no.