Confessions from Spain

Pain. Everytime I hear your voice next to my class, I feel a throbbing pain. But at the same time, I feel so happy hearing it. Everyday I would sit against the wall -- that seperates our class -- to hear you talking to you friends. Everyday I would unconsciously go outside and glance at your class -- hoping that you would come out. To tell you the truth, I feel stupid doing these kind of things. Yet... I simply enjoy it. 

I want to tell you so bad that I love you. That I need you. That I want you so bad. But of course, I just can't. Why? Because we actually never talked in person before. Probably just once or twice that's all. It's kind of disappointing. Until we became close friends in Facebook. We talked pretty much about everything there. We really became close friends. Later on, you told me your deepest secrets -- and of course, I told you mine as well. Everyday our friendship grew larger and larger and larger! My feelings for you developed each day. Thanks to you, I've learnt what love is. Thanks to you, you made my day brighter each day. I've always felt like shouting "I LOVE YOU!". But I know that I just can't. It's not the age difference that I'm worried about (we're just one year difference), I'm more worried about what will happen if I tell you that I love you. We really never met in person before... I'm just scared that you would stay silent and walk away. I'm just scared.

But still... no matter what happens, I will always love you. I will love you -- not until the end -- but forever.

PS: Thank you for opening my heart. You really saved me from suiciding myself.