Confessions from United Kingdom

I brought up my son from being 1 year old as a single mother. I had a good job good wages I worked 9 to 4 every day so he wasnt a latch door child no weekends work. But I had a mortgage and bills to pay so money was always short.  I was very happy bringing him up alone. His  dad I always allowed access every 2nd weekend. that meant I could enjoy some free time. But as I was 'looking for another husband/father I made some bad mistakes. So my son had a few 'father's who really didnt want some one elses child just wanted me. I know this now. well I am now still a young 50 yr old. but my son still has issues that he thinks I didnt bring him up right. He has blocked me from texting him this last week, he wont reply to my letters and he has 3 young children that I adore and wants to have access to. What can I do to get all this resolved as its making me feel suicidal nowe and christmas is coming soon and I will be all alone  with my thoughts and feelings. its very distressful for me.

If you think there is one i wish i can hear it :) i want to know

I seriosuly need a new relationship i need a secure one that matches me :) but i never had a relationship before so it's kinda lonley to say so i wish girls could love me :(

For the purposes of anonimity, I shall refer to the people in the story by personal nicknames.

I was severely depressed, I was working in a lab on a farm with my Dad during my summer holiday from uni.  I got increasingly depressed at uni and it was no better on the farm.  Every day, I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in front of a Combine Harvester.

On Wednesday 25th July 2007 I had the day off work for a doctor's appointment at 10am.  I was given some prescription medication and I went home.  I sat there contemplating downing the whole lot, but I decided first to go into Bury and see some friends.  The first person I called was my friend's Sister.  We'd only spoken a few times and we weren't really that close, but I (and everyone else in Bury) had a major crush on her.  I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink and catch up.  She said "No."  She had no money and she had cleaning to do.  So I decided instead to call another friend.  He agreed to meet me and I hopped on the train.

Whilst we wandered aimlessly arround town we bumped into a couple of his friends.  One of them I knew from college (never really liked him that much) but the other, a girl, I had never met before.  I didn't know it at the time, but she was to become one of the main characters in the following story. (For the purposes of this tale, we shall call her 'Wren.'

The four of us went to the pub, where we played pool.  We played doubles, me and Wren against the two guys.  We lost miserably but it didn't matter.  She helped me tie my hair up (I was never very good at getting my pony tail straight) and I drew a fairy in her notebook.  We exchanged phone numbers and then the four of us hit pizza hut.  Sparks flew and I knew I was on to something special.  It was love at first sight.

We were happy together.  Ithought we would be together for ever, but one day, shortly after our 1 year anniversary of that day we met, I got home from work and she was sitting in her room.  She had clearly been crying.  She handed me a note telling me that she needed a break and we couldn't be together any more.  I was absolutely devastated.  I never thought this day would ever come.

I spent the next few months doing everything in my power to try and win her back.  I wrote her letters, sent her expensive flowers, I even offered to whisk her off to Paris spontaneously but it was all to no avail.  She just didn't want to know.

About a year passed and I never thought I'd ever get over her.  She was my first love and I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life with her.  But then, one day, 1st April 2009 I was out to buy a new lap top when I bumped into a friend of a friend.  We went for a chat and he took me round his friend's house (We'll call her 'Rainbow').

We watched the Blair Witch project and we really hit it off.  Eventually my friend went home but I stayed as Rainbow wanted to cook me some bangers and mash (an offer I couldn't refuse).  We stayed up all night talking and when the sun came up, we went next door to the 24 hour Tesco to get some breakfast.

We ewre happy together, albeit we had rough moments.  I think we both agreed after a few months that we were just too different but the final straw for her was the fact that recently I had become a lot more depressed and she took offence to it.

We split up then (this was the eight time we'd parted ways, but we always found a way to get back together).  This time it was for good.  But I never told her the reason why I was more depressed than usual.

I had come to a sudden realisation that I was a horrible person.  I couldn't stop thinking about Wren.  I'd be lying asleep in bed next to Rainbow, but I'd be dreaming of Wren.  Every time Rainbow got drunk or stoned I just thought to myself, I wouldn't have to deal with this if I was with Wren.  And then it hit me that, eventhough I was in a relationship with Rainbow, I was (and am) still very much in love with Wren.

Wren has recently moved in with her new boyfriend and I'mm still alone.

I just don't know what to do any more.

Before I emigrated I had a girl friend who says that she had my baby 7 months after I left. I had always intended to bring her out here and marry her but shortly after the baby was born she had him adopted out. Still today I often think of her and wonder were she is and what she is doing. Is she married? does she have other children? Does she think of me as I do her, I still love her and wish that I also knew were my son is. This even invade my dreams at times and in these dreams it get quite hot. I am married for the second time, and have three children by my first wife, and four step-children. Despite this and the fact that I am reasonably happy I still think a lot about this ex-girlfriend.

hi there I do hope I can put more than one confession down i just told you one now I remember another one! this happend earlier than the other confession I just mentioned. All my family had to go to church each week, it really bored the socks off us however we had to keep Grandma happy so we kept going. one day i said to mum i am staying at home with dad who was not a catholic. I had got to old for the church playroom but didnot suddenly take an interest in the church, finally the day came when dad said we are moving house it coincidedly happend when grandma was dying. so to stop the priest from phoning the priest in our new town mum kept saying she had forgotton the name of the town we were moving to! really she remembered. but didnot want a priest comming out to us at the new town we moved to. it worked we lived a great life in Dereham then onwards.

Hi there I confess to getting a revenge on my old maths teacher, it happend in the 1970s, she took a bar of chocolate from me at playtime, so my revenge was I etched with my finger something I cannot repeat here! onto one of her new school desks, and when she gave me lines for it, I sat there and didnot write anything the night was getting long she wanted to go home so she had to let me go! what I didnot tell her was, I wouldnot be comming back to school the following week, I (unknown to her) went to a boarding school never to see her again.!

I'm in love with this guy I was seeing during my first year at uni. When I came back after summer he had a girlfriend and he is always at my house with her and I just can't bare it. I'm writing this now in my room and at the same time he is downstairs with her. I love him. Why can't he see that.

 I confess that I am not good enough for you. That I push you away on purpose so I don't have to deal. That I'm overly critical of everything you do to prey on your insecurities so that you won't realise what a prize you are. That I'm a caustic partner and do not deserve you. That everyday I'm surprised that you will do anything for me. 

I confess I am a piece of ****, and you would be better off without me.

I will always think of you as a rather special person but have decided I will not write about my feelings for you anymore.