Confessions from California (CA)

I met my husbad 5 yrs ago while on Meth, I had just really started about 4 months prior to getting together with him.  He began to realize that I had a huge problem with Meth and said it was affecting our relationship and for me to stop and get help.  I love the man dearly so I came to the realization that I did have a big problem and I knew it would be hard to stop, especially when I didn't really want to.  So began my secret use of Meth.  I began using in secret and for about 5 or 6 times was caught and given a chance to get off or suffer consequences like rehab, counseling or jail some day...Nothing seems to scare me off this drug.  I recently was caught again using and was supposed to stop but did not.  I get my drugs from a neighbor I like, but I guess I kinda take advantage of cuz I know he likes me more than a friend and wud do just about anything just to be my friend so I have him get my drugs for me because he's a known tweeker in the neighborhood Ilive in.  He brings my drugs over after my husband leaves for work and just drops it off at the door for me sometimes he just leaves it and tells me it's there for me...Anyway the reason I write thiis is because I am in terrible trouble - I fear getting kicked out of the house and losing my child to threatening family members and this is my worst fear.  It's so terrible I even have a plan if I get kicked out but I wud be devestated but still cannot stop - I don't know if writing this will help me but if I cud get some insight, support or advice I would greatly appreciate it!  Also because I do have a child, I DO NOT want to go away to therapy but would be willing to try an outpatien recovery program if I had to... I feel terrible that I do this and horribly guilt about using our family $$ for drugs while my husband struggles to make ends meet but this drug makes you so selfish and unproductive in life that I know it's not even worth it - I don't even barely get high it's just a physical addiction that it's so difficult to stop and if u've never done it please don't it could definitely ruin you.  So thank you so much for reading my confession and hopefull I can get through this without killing myself first.  Btw,ty habit is about a $40 - $60 dollar a day habit - that would be .2 - .6 grams of speed. 

I've been cheating on my boyfriend for the past month or so. My lover is a friend of both of ours. We decided to have a "rendez-vous" halfway between our houses which are quite a waise apart. When we went to leave his car wouldnt start. He called my boyfriend who ended up picking him up and bringing him back to our house to fix his car.

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When did I start coasting through life? People say that you change when you get older, but I never knew that I would turn into someone that I despise and look down at. There is no challenge, no excitement, no adventure. how do you change your life into something you love?

i love more than one person. no correction im in love with more than one person. there are 5 guys that i know for a fact i am in love with and would do anything for. one is in the army and in iraq right now, another is a nerdy guy who wants to do nothing but play online games, next is a soccer player who is also the previous guys younger brother, yet another one is a nerdy emo boy who lives too far away from me and the last one is a stoner who i first fell in love with three years ago.

only thing is they all like me, i dont know if they feel the same way about me as i do them but they are all interested. right now im dating the nerdy older brother. i dont know what to do i feel very possesive over all of them and get very jelous but flirt with all of them infront of eachother. i dont know what to do.

I know I sound like a terrible person. My husband and I are on the brink of divorce. We are both uninterested and have found other people. I have gotten very involved with another man, and I think I love him. But I am worried I may be rebounding with the first guy (not my husband) and might be in love with my ex. Any advice?

I have never excepted god into my life because I thought that it was more of a way to just be convinced that there is something after death. I have panic attacks when I think about hte nothingness and all of the wrong things that I have done. I have told lies to people that i love and care about. I have made up identities that people know me by so in order not to tell them the truth i have to keep on lying. I hate myself for it. When I was 6 or 7 I stole from a museum but I took back the bone that I had taken.

I have lied to my parents

I have gone on sites that I am not proud of sites that arent meant for under 18's and enjoyed it. I am most ashamed of this and I wish I could take back what I have seen.

I have watched unrated horror films and I wish I never done that because now I am pretty much scared when I am outside alone.

I dont know why i want to post this online I just want to get it out in the open even if nobody knows who I am. I dont want you to judge me in the comments or ratings...I just wanted to get this off my chest and move on and hopefully turn around and change my life in college and when I turn 18 that I can restart my life clean and fresh.

I am getting really into pagan religions/wicca and don't want to tell my boyfriend. I am afraid he will judge and/or ridicule me.

My partner went out to cheat on me four years ago this month and I still do not trust him.  I have sent him articles about rebuilding trust and he doesn't think he needs to rebuild trust.  At times I truly hate him for what he has done to my life in the seven years we have been together, there has been some happiness, but a lot of torment and hell.