Confessions from Florida (FL)

followed my misery 

i am sorry...

How and why could you do this to me and your children you son of a ***** i had the hope that you were coming back to be with us again and you went and took the easy way out and now your soul will never rest peacefully you will walk the earth until it is your time to face the Lord. I hate you so much right now and can nvr forgive you for what you did.. you left me and your kids who loved you the most even after all that you have done to us over the years and we were still here picking up the pieces that you created. your daughter looked up to you as her king and you could never do anything wrong in her eyes. your son really never got the chance to know you and is crying his eyes out everynight as he can no longer call you on the phone and say goodnight or i love you anymore.. how could you do this to your family who love you very much and kept having the hope that you would change and do the right thing......

My boyfriend, whom I have dated for years has slapped me hard on numerous occasions. I resent him for it, but I can't let go of him. I also feel like I can't tell anyone because I still care about him and am hoping for him to change...I am losing myself because of him. He blames his actions on me and tells me if I didn't act the way I did (bitchy) he wouldn't slap me or get so annoyed all the time.

I'm 21. I'm a father. College student. My son is 13 months old. I love him so much and cry about how much I miss him. I resent him. I cry for my pity. I'm full of contradictions. I'm happy. I'm sad. I am here to change the world. I can't live another breath. I'm a habitual liar. I'm the most honest person you'll ever meet. I'm very intelligent. I'm extremely charming. Old people love me. Cops always let me go. Things go my way. I'm blessed by God. There is no god. We are all God. Things never work out. A set-up. A cheat. A liar. It's all a set up. I'm natural. free. I'm here for the girls. My life for the girls. My life for love? My love for life? 

Stuck & choking. Broke and dying. Money sucks. Wouldn't if I were rich. I preach freedom and a society not built on monetary gain. I wish I were a billionaire. So I could change? So I can die with boats and cars and planes? So would I change? 

Questions & questions. I think this. I think that. I don't. I can't think. I hate think. What does think mean? What does any of it mean?

Same ****. Different guy. The guy I've wanted to be. Now I'm not happy. I'm him though right?

****!  Engineer? Anthropologist? Entrepeneur? Suicide statistic?

lost.

I love my husband of 30 years, his son (31 years)has been very unrespectable with me, he was never corrected, and I can't stand him no more, as a revenged my husband takes it on my own son(35 years) from previous marriage.

This is very upsetting for everyone any sugestions to deal with this? I need help desperately

As my phone rings, and plans are made

It's not with you, but I go anyways

sitting across from a man, who tells me his life plans, the reason why I am his completion, the reason I should keep him,the reason why we should be together, in hopes he can make it better...but no...

He's not you...

He could never hold me like you, he can never know me like you, he could never kiss me like you, he could never miss me like you, he could never make me cry like you, he could never fit your shoes...not like you...

I'm so torn...he loves me more than you do, yet my heart aches for only you...

I want to move on...I want to be free...he's the man who wants my heart...yet you have the key...

I wish you knew how deeply I feel for you...how I would do anything for you...how this pain is holding me back...how you make my heart react...

As the tears stream down my face...in reminice of your embrace...he thinks it's because of him...he doesn't know my hearts place...

So I will wait one more week...In hope you'll reach out to me...but if you don't by then...then my heart I shall mend...

I'm an actress/model so I get VERY VERY JEALOUS when my boyfriend says celebrities are "hot". I mean, I know all guys do that, and some girls too. But considering the fact that these celebs and I are in the same industry and not only are they more successful/making more money then me, but now my VERY OWN BOYFRIEND is going to drool over them, too?? Acting is competitive enough as it is, and my self esteem gets plenty of bumps and bruises at auditions when I go to tons and tons and don't get the part. I mean, ALL actors get rejected alot, but they have to keep auditioning until something hits, but it's freakin hard not to wonder if the reason why you didn't get that part is because you're not pretty or talented enough. Or to lose a well paying modeling job because you put on weight over the holidays (which just happened to me a few months ago with a bikini shoot). It makes you feel HORRIBLE ENOUGH without him going ga-ga over someone who DID get the job and DIDN'T put on weight.

It just makes me feel so inadequate as a professional AND as a woman when he does this. It wouldn't matter to me so much if I were a nurse or a teacher or something. But the fact that they're famous at what they do and I'm not (or at least not yet) is enough of a kick in the *** without them ALSO being more capable at grabbing me guy's eye.

I mean yeah, he's with me, why should I worry, right? Well whenever he does this it makes me feel like the only reason he IS with me is because he can't get his hands on an A-Lister, so I'll do for a nice spare tire.

And what happens if I DO get famous someday and end up rubbing elbows with these girls someday? At the very least it'll be EXTREMELY awkward knowing my guy used to jerk off looking at their pics  on the internet!!

I GET SO JEALOUS I COULD SPIT GREEN

 Back in Highschool, in 10th grade, my bestfriend dated this guy from out of town that she saw every summer. He was cool collected and intersting. Though definitely NOT my type, he grew on me, and he became good friends. Later, unfortunately, he and my friend split. I was torn between my loyalty to her and my need for his company. So I chose my bestfriend. I didn't call or text him as much, and tried to keep our conversations light. 

Compared to before when we'd stay up half the night talking about mischellenous things. We shared a really deep bond. And because I feared it would tear our friendship apart I tried not to be myself around him. Later on in 11th grade, I started talking to him again, light convos and just alittle texting. Then at the end of the year I moved away from the bestfriend, and it was easier for me to talk to him.

Now the thing about him is, he is NOTHING like me. Not the way he talks, or acts, or even how educated he is. Most people would think I was above him. But I liked him anway. He was refreshing and made me feel good.

We got on talking again and it was good for a while, till my bestfriend(his ex) started telling him she felt weird about us talking. I really didn't care at that point. It wasn't like I was dating him or making trips to go and see him. Fortunately he liked talking to me as much as I did him. 

He treats me like he likes me or may even love me. He sometimes says things like "You know you're special to me" or "I really like talking to you" "You are my homie" "I want you to come visit me" "I wouldn't mind living with you"  I am confused, and I don't know how to think about it. I like him...and would date him, despite the fact that I usually only date girls. (I am a girl btw LOL) But he's special. I just wish he'd say it. So I can know.

Wow... I haven't felt this way for some time. I do a pretty good job at avoiding feelings, but right now I feel a strong desire to be able to connect with other guys. My whole life I've struggled with having close male friends and it has never really gotten better. In fact, I feel like it has gotten worse. When I was in undergrad, I lived with other guys and (although I struggled to relate) I was able to feel connected to a point. Now, I am not in school and I have not built-in way to meet other guys. I would love to be able to hang out with some guy friends and feel loved and accepted by them.

These feelings really s*ck right now.

I made friends with you and thought you were one of the coolest, friendliest, talkative, interesting, intelligent, and beautiful girls I've ever met under 25. Making friends with you made me realize I don't have to foolishly fall for every girl I meet just because she has those qualities, and we can become good friends over time. Knowing you has made me very mature in this area of my life.

But I'm pretty sure I'll fall for you anyway,

just after I pretend I'm not doing just that.