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i turned 20 in march and i've been pondering my feelings about older guys a lot this little while the oldest man i've been with was 55 and i was 15 (consensually) i'll admit to being attracted to the physical attributes of older men(beer bellies, body hair. etc.) my preferred age range is 40+ (grossly enough because my father is around that age) i dunno… at this point it's legal.. but dose it make me a monster? i find it emotionally fulfilling but isn't it wrong? shoulnt i try -not- to be with these men? is it even healthy for me to indulge? it's practically an addiction.. at this point I'n my life i can go one of two ways get married to a -boy- my age[who loves me more than I can say and treats me like a goddess] or live the unorthodox racey lifestyle i am so drawn to. I do not know how to choose between feeling loved( but scared and alone and like there's something wrong with me) or to feel alive but actually be alone any feedback would be greatly appreciated cause i'mso confused
thebeautifulprincess thebeautifulprincess 18-21, F 9 Answers May 7 in Dating & Relationships

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Choose the path that makes you the happiest....that choice is different for each person...

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you dont have to choose right now, you could go one of the two ways and change direction later if you want to. do whatever you want, its your life

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If you find someone that loves you (regardless of age) go with it. That's all that counts. If he treats you badly though, then it would be very bad for you. Do what makes you happy.

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Legally, you were raped by the 55 year old rapist. There is no future for you with someone twice your age unless he has mega bucks and is willing to spend them all on you.

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really? not future? no love? it this true??! i felt so muc h love from those men… was it a lie? i want so much to feel that way again and to hear it is wrong.. it it true?? i need to know!

he really did not rape me. i sought him out, seduced him, begged him to be with me.. he is gone now and i miss him deeply i wish you would all stoop calling him a rapist he changed my life

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What is real and what you believe you feel are two very different things.
If you were 15 and he was 55 , he did indeed rape you. At 15, you do not have the legal capacity to consent. He knew that you were jail bait and took advantage of the situation... he raped you.
If you went to the police today, with evidence that the two of you had sex, he would be arrested and ultimately jailed.
I call it as it is.... a rapist is a rapist is a rapist.

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i loved him and more -I- likely took advantage of him than the other way around
he was lonely and weak
i was horny and young
he said "no" and i begged him to disregard his morals
i could never live with myself if he was reported
i know i was the youngest person he had been with and
i'll miss him everyday of my life

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He raped you... there is no way to rationalize it. He should be jailed.

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life there its chosen

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haha yes, but is a life alone any life at all?

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you live it, you control, you choice how it should go

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It can be.

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@oldenuff2nobettr what "can be"? kelseytoby is saying i can choose to do what i want (as in the choice to be with who i want men40+) you are saying these men should be in jail… the life i would choose to live in unorthodox with no permanent lover flying alone loving who i choose, you seem to this this is wrong, i am a legal adult now(tho i'm not sure i'm as mature as i should be) and my body is mine to do what i will with so no w it's not rape now it is -legal- so my question with you have disregarded iss .. would i be happier ?

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Life without a partner can be enjoyable.
What happens to you now may be legal. But, the crime (rape) was committed when you were 15. It doesn't matter how old you are now. Your failure to understand this is what proves that you are still immature.

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your understanding of consensual is incorrect. If you are not of age you cannot consent. 15 years old is not of age.

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any other time you would be correct, but i sought him out.. seduced him.. he was the innocent i'm not even sure he knew how old i was

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it doesnt matter who sought who out. By law, you can not consent at 15. A 55 year old man should know that, and he was certainly not "the innocent". He could have and should have said no.

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sometimes i feel this way.. but most of the time i just miss cuddling him.. I couldn't hate him.. he was far to kind to me and made me feel so special.. what i am conflicted with is that i'd fall into his arms given any chance but i love my boyfriend i am 20 now and would do this again at any time

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Whether you consider him to be a rapist or a *********.... he belongs in jail. If he did it once, he will certainly do it again.

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Live your life. Love follows n finds its way.

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If you chose to be loved could you remain faithful to that boy knowing you have this addictive lust.....

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Message me if you like.

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Perv.

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Maybe you should look in the mirror on who the perv is. I am not that, I would only want to help. Keep your opinions to yourself. You are probably the perv.

Not everyone has bad intentions.

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