If you get off to giving free expert pedicures...we should talk.
...(to my wife)...do you hear me when I walk slowly across our wooden floor in the morning while you are still sleeping?, I realize the sound the floor makes when walk on certain slats is kinda creepy.
Are there any hot chicks would like to feel my ingrowing toe nail going into their pony tail?
Who could resist? ;-P
Replace feet with crossdresser and everyone will be appalled.