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I had a guy friend who I very much fell in love with. We are opposites. He has always been very kind and protective of me, and at first he kept telling me that I didn't need to be with him, that I would get hurt. This was confusing because he also told my sister that he was in love with me. He shut me out for quite some time and now he's back, I got back together with my ex and he has his first steady girlfriend in five years. I don't think I can stay with my boyfriend. The truth is that I am still in love with my friend. When I got back together with my ex, the guy I love said "Now do you see why I use the methods I do?". I do, and I don't. I'm so confused about whether or not he did love me, or if he just hurt me so I'd want to move on. There is no moving on and I have not let this control my life, since I can not have him. Will someone please tell me what has happened? We are friends again, but not as close as we used to be.
EmilyFaith77 EmilyFaith77 16-17, F 4 Answers Nov 20, 2012 in First Love

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let me give u a piece of advice...



drop both of these guys...



> one u dont love

> the other one who doesnt know how to love u back...



and start KNOWING URSELF...



like this u wont be able to justify urself.. in any case..no win situation...



understand what do u want...



if ur wants and needs are unrealistic? larger than life... larger than u? you are an individual...



do u understand what is love?



keeep asking such questions.. u will beat the situation



courage!

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Thanks :) Yes I understand what love is. I know I will have to let the guy I don't love go. I have changed so much in the last year and bf says he doesn't want to go through all the pain that comes with growing up. I can't stand that. I am his first love, and it isn't right to stay when it isn't where I want to be. He's a great guy.... Just, not the guy for me. We were together for two years, I just don't feel like the same girl. I don't feel so dependent or needy of him or the guy I am so in love with. My love is where it is, and I am content to give my love in the ways I still can, but I don't have any to spare. I can not devote myself to anyone. In a way, it's good because I am spending time with myself and in the last eleven months I have already learned so many things about me I didn't know. I am taking all this day by day, not being consumed by sorrow or anger at what's happened, but doing what I have to do, which is live my life. I'm trying lol

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gurlie i can hear you..i have been in such situation i love someone..and if someone doesnt reciprocates it also hurts..but fine u want them to be happy..u want urself to be happy.. in the end..nothing is bigger than you!.. and you can change..u r spontaneous..u r random... u will come up with flying colors.. and the love u always needed..just stay patient.. and expect less...

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Yes! Thank you :)

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Just dump both of them. I know it's hard and may never be possible to get over someone you really love. But if they hurt you like that, it's honestly not worth it. Even if he did it for your own good, if he actually loved you, he would have tried and fix it. My boyfriend was the same. Our stories are quite similar, but my boyfriend cared about me not to hurt me. You see, when you love someone, and they love you back, you get hurt, but they really don't want to hurt you so they try to make things right. If it's really love, then he'll try and get together with you no matter what. But even then, I'd suggest making him prove it before even considering anything. I'm sorry about your situation and I hope this helps even the tiniest bit.

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