After talking to my abuser and hearing what she did to me more how do I know if I ever really get over it?

Good Post by RR. IN Short you should not try to nor feel compelled to "love your abuser". For most, some freedom comes when you uncover and process the events, the hidden, buried emotions and traumas,,,,,and see the lies you believe about yourself because of the trauma....and burn in the truth. EMDR is effective for most of this process, for many, including me.

It could do you good to find real friends.

Would you rather live a lie? In my opinion, I think it is important that you get some kind of counselling to help you overcome this. You'll never "get over it", if by that you mean forget it. However, you can learn to live with it and not let it affect you as much. When you first learn the reality of the abuse, it is like a floodgate being opened and you can be overwhelmed by hatred for everything and everyone. You need to let go of these negative feelings and work on building positive ones for yourself. You need to learn to love yourself, forgive yourself because you did nothing to promote the abuse and let go of the emotion attached to the situation. What was done to you was wrong, no matter who did it. However, you can learn how to cope. Good luck! It's a long hard row to hoe.