Go to Alcoholic's Anonymous and get some help there.
Go with the feelings, dont allow fear of them to rule you. Dont avoid the painful feelings, accept yourself and all thats happened. Seek help to do that if need be. Plan A isn't working for you, time to implement a Plan B by the sounds of it. Might be scary going forwards, but its scary living the way you are, so do something positive for yourself. Good luck.
just make sure your not mad
well being sad is going to turn into mad even if its influenced by alcohol
you need to eat a weed browine then youll be happy and wont worry about turning int othe hulk and going nuts off the booze so finding help would be best !
no its better and healthier then booze and being sad and mad put together
you just grind up the nugs boil them and that's how you make the cooking oil lol
Go to a 12 Step meeting
There's a 12 Step for whatever ails ya it is just people of like mind getting together to talk about problems and find solutions using the 12 Steps.