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sadgirl20 sadgirl20 22-25, F 18 Answers Mar 10, 2012

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Why do you need someone else to support you financially in the first place? No, don't marry him, he deserves someone who will stand by him in good times and bad, not someone who can't even support themselves.

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You do not know her boyfriend or her. You don't know if her boyfriend is a complete slacker who smokes pot all day and plays video games. Love is terrific but it changes across time. If you want to plan your life with someone, money and career plans to make the money goes along with that planning. It is unfair of you to tell her that her BF (who you don't know at all) deserves someone who will "stand by him." Maybe he doesn't. Who has enough knowledge to decide who is deserving and who isn't deserving? Who can make that judgment? No one especially someone who is commenting about complete strangers.

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If he's slacker, why is she debating marrying him in the first place? If she wants a more educated opinion, she should give more details, especially since she's asking for opinions.

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I think you may be materialistic. You would probably end up blaming him if things didn't go the way you wanted. You shouldn't marry him. I don't know that you can really be happy with anyone yet.

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No. A gold digger is chasing men ONLY for money. What you are is smart. If you know you'd be headed for a life full of struggle and stress, why take that road? If you truly love him, though, perhaps postpone the marriage until you're both in better financial stability

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I was once in this situation, only I had to let her go because I knew that I could never give her the life that she had become accustom. I never told her that, but that is why we split.

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What did you tell her instead?

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Yes! If you aren't marrying him since he can't help you financially, that's the inverse of marrying him because he can. That's the very definition of gold digger. He should move on before he falls so in love, your leaving him for money will kill his spirit.

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i think your more like a scrounger than gold digger...................

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nah - your JUST A *****.........

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I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure that's no where near what a gold digger is

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no financial stababillity is a big factor you shouldn't get married unless your absolutely sure that it wont drive you into debt. It's like with having babies of course you will love your child but you wont just have one because of that love. No, you would want to be financially fit first.

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A gold digger is someone who goes after someone for their money alone without any feelings of love and even kindness. I think you should be considered smart. You have forethought about what it is to be married. Money is involved. Your boyfriend can't support you financially so why marry? You can love someone until kingdom-come..... Marriage does not prove love, marriage is a contract. If your boyfriend does not have any plans to pursue a career but instead works a dead end job or no job at all and maybe still lives with his parents then I can't blame you.<br />
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If he is still young and you are still young, don't expect him to support you financially yet. If you are still young, you also have enough time to consider your own plans. In this era, men and women should be treated equally.... this means the same criteria can be sought from you.... maybe your boyfriend questions your ability to support him financially? In this day in age, both healthy people in a partnership/marriage need to have a job in order to take their family out of the ghetto and reinvent their lives and their social class... thus having a chance to have one kind of success. There are other kinds as well.<br />
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I married someone who was and is the whole package. when I met him, he wasn't making a whole lot of money but I saw in him vast potential because of the way he worked, the way he helped others, his drive, and his intelligence. He also has an education. When I met him he was making 25,000 a year before taxes. Now he is making 6 figures and has a higher degree level. You can tell who will be good supporters in all areas of life not just financial. You can see the ones who are on the fast track to getting to a good place in their career. If your BF doesn't have that drive, well... deal breaker huh?<br />
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It is good you are not selling yourself short..... People may snip at you because of the superficial meaning of the question but ignore them. IN an ideal world, money would not matter at all but unfortunately in the real world money is intertwined with survival and spouses who make it can take care of you and future children.<br />
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BTW... Money issues is the number one reason that married couples argue and get divorces... so .... maybe people who are all about love need to balance it out with some practicality.

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No, not a gold digger, but definitely not a pure romantic either. You are practical, and love would quickly go out the window if you marry him feeling as you do. So, follow your instincts. They are telling you not to marry this man, so don't. You wouldn't be doing him any favours marrying him, feeling as you do.

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ahhhhhhhh...sounds about right to me...but what do i know....i've got it all wrong before.

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Not in my book. I think you are being wise. Love don't pay the rent

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No.

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Yourot a gold digger,just practical,you need someone who is atvleast an equal,what?are you gonna end up supporting him and yourself and a kid!?no thanks.Had I married my boyfriend that would have happened to me too because He got a masters in theatre,didn't really want a job that could have provided insurance and the means to provide for a future family,instead He'd rather play actor and is such a diehard I would guess He would miss the birth of his first child for a big audition,the type of guy who wants to win the lottery so He wouldn't have to work so much to pay the rent(loser?)but sadly due to illness I had to move back home and He stayed behind in nyc which I miss terribly:( :) He will never come here because of his acting "career"guess He is going to have to get lucky and find another girl who can be a breadwinner like a man should be.disaster avoided?Don't feel bad about the money thing I personally do not like these guys that won't grow up-ridiculous.good luck! Xo.

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