Am I in the wrong?
Okay, so I have been dating this guy for a while now ( about 6 months) and we have been having our ups and downs. However, I am feeling BETRAYED because I am just now figuring out he and my SHADY best friend hooked up more than once right before we were together. She always disproved of our relationship and I never knew why until now. I had a suspicion they had something before in the past but every time I asked, both would deny it. However, the truth came out and turns out BOTH lied to me and they did hook up (as in more than just make out.)
I feel like I look like a complete IDIOT for being lied to this whole time and I just want some opinions as whether or not I have the right to be mad or not. What do you guys think? I know it happened in the past, but they lied in the PRESENT.
14 Answers to "Am I in the wrong?"
Posted by certifiable May 16th, 2012 at 11:31PM
Did you flat out ask them previously and they denied it or did they just not tell you ?
If you have been lied to then yes you can be mad but if they just didn't tell you then it's really not so bad .
How ever I think you really need to take a good long look at the people you surround yourself , sounds like neither one care a great deal about you .
You should have trusted your instincts but hey this a learning experience for you , you'll be better for it in the long run .
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Reply by justbefree May 16th, 2012 at 11:33PM
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Reply by certifiable May 16th, 2012 at 11:45PM
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Posted by InfiniteOptimist May 17th, 2012 at 1:57AM
I know all too well the betrayal of someone who says they love you and then you find out information that proves their character to be different from what you imagined. It then leaves you questioning your entire involvement with them. I dont think this is a reason in itself to break up but if youre already having ups n downs and trusting isnt easy then just let it go... for now at least....
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Posted by Sylvie66 May 17th, 2012 at 12:30AM
Think about this - do YOU value honesty? If you do, your boyfriend doesn't. The more your values align, the happier you'll be. Or, look on your current relationship as a FWB and start planning for a better, drama-free future.
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Posted by pegasuss May 16th, 2012 at 11:58PM
Oh, good grief? Did they testify on a Bible before a jury of 12 as well?
What they did before was their business. It's what they do now that matters. They are probably both just trying to prevent your obvious jealous streak from exploding. Forget it. Act like a normal hman being and agree what's past is past.
If they do it again it's over. That simple.
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Posted by theduckman May 16th, 2012 at 11:27PM
You most definitely have the right to feel betrayed, because you were.
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Reply by pegasuss May 18th, 2012 at 2:20PM
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Reply by theduckman May 18th, 2012 at 4:13PM
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Posted by KnobbyKnees May 16th, 2012 at 11:27PM
What he done BEFORE he meet you is history, HE wasn't in YOUR life so you can't complain about it. It's how he been while he's been with you that you have to judge on. SO they both told lies? Think the reason Why? Was it to hide their shame or protect you from the truth. Was the lie told as a discretion. NOT everybody want s to have their past shwn to the world esp a close friend. If you feelthey done it to protect you AND they have NOT hooked up since then they deserve a smile, cuddle and forgiveness. In this world where people are only to happy to shout abou their sex lives then have some admiration for that discretion and your feeling. I know you are hurting now prob more by being lied to than the "hookup" itself. Take a step back and put yurself in her shoes what would you do? Tell her not to go with a boy cos you had him a while ago and he's your reject? KK
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Posted by pinkgodslippers May 16th, 2012 at 11:25PM
you are so wrong from the word go. You had that vibe on them and it took you this long...to get to the truth. Wow, I'd be pissed at myself more than them.
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Posted by inspiration1 May 16th, 2012 at 11:24PM
You have all the right to be mad.
But won't it be better if, somehow, you could make THEM mad?
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Posted by coolTimesAhead May 16th, 2012 at 11:23PM
Chili Oil, that's what you need.
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Posted by meteorite May 16th, 2012 at 11:21PM
It was b4 you and he were together...forget it.
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Posted by lostj May 16th, 2012 at 11:21PM
Did your boyfriend or your friend tell you? Maybe they were scared of your reaction, or the "hookup" was a mistake. Obviously both of them don't care much about each other considering they lied about hooking up with each other. Sure it's pretty shady, but maybe you should just talk to each one individually, to figure out why they lied or their side of the story
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Reply by justbefree May 16th, 2012 at 11:22PM
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Reply by lostj May 16th, 2012 at 11:23PM
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Posted by badbinary May 16th, 2012 at 11:20PM
they may have kept it secret to protect your feelings. it does seem kind of wierd and ingrown though i understand where your coming from
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Posted by MmmBabi May 16th, 2012 at 11:20PM
I would feel betrayed too, you asked and they both denied and together kept a secret from you. Not cool at all.
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Posted by LizardKing May 16th, 2012 at 11:19PM
This is very true that it happened before you were with him, but the fact that you were lied to by both of them is not cool, and how are you supposed to trust him that he hasn't hooked up with her since he has been with you? Kick them both to the curb I say!
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