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I went out with my ex James for 3/4 years, and finished with him 6 years ago because he was negligent, noncommittal, and he kept accusing me of flirting with his dad at social events, when really I was being polite and listening to his ideas, he was 67. James did try to meet up with me, and sometimes asked me to Xmas, but always last minute, so I declined. He now has a girlfriend who has been living with him for 2 years. He recently rang me to ask me to come to visit his father in hospital after he fell ill with cancer, and said it was because his father liked me, I was working and said no due to work. Then he contacted me to invite me to his dad's funeral, why is it so important to him that I go? Is it respectful to his current girlfriend? What do you think the right thing to do is? Thanks..
Amber3 Amber3 36-40 15 Answers Mar 1, 2010

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You should only go if you feel like you need to say your last goodbyes to his dad. If he is looking for comfort he should seek that from his new girlfriend and family/loved ones.

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You do not need to go. Send a card or note to the family expressing your sympathy.

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Don't go.

This guy is trying to pull your strings, after all this time.

Tell him you're sorry about his father, but you'd rather not hear from him again.

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It's not about your Ex. If you want to pay your respects and say goodbye, then go.

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I don't think you should feel any obligation to go to the funeral. You haven't been in a relationship with the son for many years and so you haven't been around his dad either. You should only go to the funeral if you feel you need some kind of closure with the dad but that doesn't sound like that is the case.

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If you want to be a part of the remembering the dad, then go. Otherwise, you don't have to.

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no, you're not obligated

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i'm taking a wild guess that he thought his dad might enjoy seeing you, remembering that he liked talking with you. he probably feels bad for being a jerk about you chatting with his dad. when my mom was terminal, i did try to get in touch with people who might be interested in visiting her. doesn't mean you have to go, though.

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No you are not obligated but it would be nice if you liked his father to pay your respects. Or send a card to the family.

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you are not obligated to go. He invited you. Just say no in a nice way and leave it at that. If he presses the issue than maybe he has other motives for wanting you there. Good luck.

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no, you're never obligated. doncha think it's kinda odd that he's still reaching out to you?

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Yes go, take a vantrilaquiste (Jeff Dunham if he is available.) could be alot of fun

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I would just out of the kindest of my heart

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obligated ? no. a nice gesture on your part? yes. you be the GROWNUP.

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Why would you even feel like you should go? I think you would be stupid to go.

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