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hopeisall
Resolved Question

Am I obsessed about this guy?

I had to break up with my ex because my family never approved - it was heartbreaking for both of us and I had moved to a different state to start a new life. It's been nearly an year that I had shifted to this new place and life is sort of normal for me now. So, there is this new guy(who very closely resembles my ex) and I can't explain if that is a concidence always.....every single day our paths cross and we bump into each other atleast once and then I'd observed he actually stares at me. It was nothing in the beginning, but from about 15-20 days I kind of feel worried if I don't get to see him in the office and then I keep wishing I should see him the next day atleast. And when I get to see him all that I do is simply look away or look at my feet and walk away as if everything is normal. I do not even know his name and honestly, all I want is just get to see him everyday. What is it about this guy that I wish I see him daily? He isn't that good looking to take it for attraction.
Posted 3 months ago
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silvrsurfr
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I looked up the definition and one says "excessively preoccupied"....

Only you can answer how much that is... but from your question, "worried" and "keep wishing" provide valuable clues. If these feelings "preoccupy" your thoughts...you are obsessed. That's not to say it's pathologic...Anyone experiencing an infatuation or crush, is exactly the same....

As far as the shyness...
That is a very common reaction....I know it's happened to me! So what to do...? You didn't ask specifically but I think you implied a question...here goes...

Slow and discrete:
Takes some time and think...Think about how you may begin an "innocuous" conversation....The more you humanize him the easier it will be to get to know him. What does he do? What does he like? What can you earnestly ask so that it doesn't sound too contrived? Since it's work how about a compliment "has anyone around here told you how much they enjoy your e-mails?"

Medium and upfront:
"Did you ever meet someone that looked just like you?...cause I know someone that could be your twin" Who isn't interested about hearing of the proverbial doppelganger?

Fast and Obvious:
It may be me but it seems I catch you looking my way sometimes...would you like to have lunch together?

zillions of others from the mundane to the incendiary...
Have fun!
Posted 3 months ago

Other 6 Answers to Am I obsessed about this guy?


emperorofcali
Posted Jul 30th, 2009 at 9:33PM
Chemistry works that way. When analysis fails, and you have no idea why/where/when, but you know *who* - chemistry usually gets the credit.

You can understand this by looking at "bad" chemistry, too. You can have everything in common with someone, they may be attractive, but there's nothing there. What you're experiencing is just the reverse. Some of the best couples are born this way.

On the other hand, your shy attitude is unfortunately the result of your parents, who obviously think that part of their job is to judge just who is "right" or "wrong" for you. This complicates the whole process for you, since rather than just abiding by instinct, you feel there is a higher authority. There is an almost invisible shame that will accompany you in situations like this until you get your parents completely out of your relationships. This is why it comes out as an "obsession". Your normal urges are blocked, and come out as shy, and unintentionally coquettish. The way to overcome obsession is to react how you would if you had nothing to lose. Because you don't.

Otherwise, you owe it to yourself to feel free to experiment to your heart's content with this one. Sounds like it could be one of the more interesting ones....
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
bindher
Posted Jul 30th, 2009 at 1:44PM
Are you truly obesessed or just dreaming and if your arnt dreaming then make a move u never know what may happen!
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
TheGoldenBear
Posted Jul 30th, 2009 at 2:03PM
Talk to the guy and see what happens...
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
SummerWind18
Posted Jul 30th, 2009 at 2:20PM
I wouldn't call it obsession unless it takes up all your time and thinking to the exclusion of everything else
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
beckychurcher
Posted Jul 30th, 2009 at 2:25PM
Try smiling and giving him the okay to talk to you...and you never know true love may come a calling..
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
jafetgx
Posted Jul 31st, 2009 at 1:45PM
Nah it's not obsession, it's like the emperor said, it's chemistry. Maybe 'cause he resembles your ex, maybe something else catch your attention, i think you should make a move.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
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