If you have to ask, you aren't okay.
Well, I think you've gone through a lot of emotional trauma-<br />
however, EVERYone deals with things differently. I personally have lived a hard life, had so many things taken from me, and yet I do the same as you: I am the happiest person a lot of people meet, and I think it's a gift to remain so positive in the public eye. No one would guess the things that have happened to me- and I prefer it that way. <br />
Perhaps you cope with things behind the scenes because you don't want to burden anyone else. I don't think about suicide because I see it as cowardly and I have a lot of pride, but some days when I am listless I think the world is for nothing and my life has no point to it. I do understand that point- maybe you need counselling. Maybe nothing is wrong with you and you're allowed to feel broken because of what has gone on with you.
no you are not ok. sorry to be blunt. you have not grieved properly, you chose to stay by yourself so you don't have to face the fact that one day you may let it all out and you don't know how to deal with that. you are only just missing out on what life has to offer you and running from your emotions is not the answer. I have be called confident, happy, funny ect but I was covering up a lot a lot of years of hurt and anger from my past. at the moment I am dealing with it on top of being diagnoised with bi polar and I too feel like an empty shell but I have been assured by my partner my councellor and friends that it will get better and I want to believe them but only I can make it better with their support. take that first step. acknowledge it all have a cry get angry and let it out. see someone about it it is not healthy for you to keep it all locked inside trust me.
No, sounds like you're in shock about all that's happened in such a short time. Hope you feel better.