I would approach it from the point of view of a mature adult and behave as such. People make mistakes and they have to learn things for themselves, if the disowned friend made a mistake befriending your enemy and the enemy is as bad as you say then they will come to the same realization you did after a while and try to seek you out. The boyfriend did not knowingly seek out the other friend you disowned so he should be cut some slack, if you explain you do not want him hanging out with them due to the past, then you should explain the whole situation to them and hope that they act like a mature adult knowing all the information and how it makes you feel and "choose" to avoid the situation and possibly work out a way to talk to your disowned friend to convince them of the enemy. If you do explain everything and this resolves nothing then I would just either make piece with it or move on. Drama is for those who have no lives to spend time on family and friends. <br />
An inspirational quote I find handy for this situation.<br />
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. described bigotry in the following quotation: "The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour upon it, the more it will contract.
When your friend insists on friending someone they KNOW is your enemy, they are NOT your friend! If they were, they would refuse to hurt you in that way! <br />
I've been done this way, too, and I've found out who my friends really were after such incidents!
We think a lot alike! :-D I've ALWAYS felt that way- if a person decides to be a friend to another who has consistently caused you harm, then they are NOT your friend! I have had former friends become friends, again, and say "you were right about him/her! They're AWFUL!" The truth will always come out in the end! :-)
Yes, set him straight about how you feel. And after that you will know who is your true friend, and who is not.
Make sure he's being honest with you about that. People can tell you anything, and mean absolutely nothing in what they say. Just "test the waters thoroughly".
I've been through the exact same thing over the last month or two! :-(
I don't really know what this girl has done to you all these times, the only specific you cite is befriending your enemy. Honestly, I would seriously consider this position. Why do you have an enemy? Is it right to do? Are you better off by not holding this person as an enemy?
Providing that there was no reason for them to do that, it seems people just inherently want to do mean things to you. Perhaps they don't like you, but they are obviously being nice to your BF. The first thing I would do is ask him if she has said anything bad about you to him.
Providing that they didn't have a reason to do those things, it seems that some people just inherently do not like you. They are obviously being nice enough to your BF though since they are friends. The first thing I would do is ask your BF if she has said anything about you to him. If she has, tell him your worried about her lies (if they in fact are lies). Also ask him, why they are friends. Maybe there some things you're not aware of.
That's weird, my post got put up twice. Oh well. Also, your bizarre use of punctuation makes me think that you are drunk since I know that you usually have an adequate grasp of the English language. I'm going to bid you adieu and will only say that burning bridges can be very costly.
That's controlling...no way around it.
Bur you're in essence telling him whom he can and cannot be friends with. Frankly, I'd leave a woman if she did that.
No it isn't. I disagree!
you straight up ask him how does he really feel about you! and if your relationship means more important to her than you ! i say fool me once shame on you second time shame on me!
always their two sides of a pancake ! yes indeed ! get her on here so we can actually hear her side is what i am saying!
You sound awfully immature and unreasonable , the universe doesn't revolve around you .
Nor does it revolve around you!
Certifiable must be pretty immature, too.
The first mistake was defriending the girl for befriending your 'enemy'. The second mistake will be trying to force him to 'cut her off', because it is a form of control (Just like what you did to your friend was), and most people will rebel against that. Now you will have 3 'enemies' when originally you only had one.. what if you overcame the problems with the initial enemy, asked for forgiveness from the friend who is now an enemy... then you will be the 'bigger person' instead of the insecure one. and you will have 3 friends instead of 3 enemies.
No, I'm suggesting you take a more enlightened approach.. it is so much stronger to be a 'bigger' person, to have compassion (for the ignorant), strength (not letting those who put negativity out there to affect you, even if its about you), and honor (not allowing fear to control your behavior)... cultivating these types of qualities will really help you out in the long run.... it will earn respect.. and people wont use your emotions to cause reactions like this, they wont be able to, they wont be able to 'touch you'... That's all.
With some people simply cutting them off this the ONLY answer, because they are hard-headed and hard- hearted as well.
Not to mention that rarer than diamonds feeling of being happy for the happiness of another (which true Love should be actually be all about...)...
That's what happens when you expect more than just plain good sex from certain relations...
Come on, that speaks for itself. It's just that humans are curious little creatures. Their minds often tends to rush in opposite direction to their bodies' tendencies...
You cannot possess another being. CANNOT. Accept this simple fact of life and you future will uncloud more suns for ya...
HOWEVER, this does not take some very real variations into account.