Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
After thinking about it for about 7 months I decided that I want to legally change my first name. I told my parents about a month ago about my decision. At first they seemed not to care very much but then they started trying to convince me not to and telling me: "this is weird and abnormal" "You're being petulant!" "this is just a phase!" "I want to honor your decision so I won't call you by your old name. But I won't call you by your new name either. You won't have a name to me." For context I'm 22 years old so I'm young, but not a child. Anyway, I know the reason they are doing this is because they are upset that I want to change my name. My brother called me and said that my actions are coming out of ingratitude towards my parents. Basically he said that I am indebted to my parents because they love me and that I am personally responsible for my parent's emotional reactions. What do you think of this situation? Am I personally responsible for their emotional reactions?
Growlin Growlin 22-25, F 10 Answers Mar 30 in Parenting & Family

Your Response

Cancel

to a degree

Best Answer

why are you trying to change your name? if you are trying to change your last name, i would consider that very, very hurtful on your part.

Best Answer

"Trying"? Try "going to". No it's my first name. Basically I hate the way my legal name makes me feel because of personal associations with it. Plus it's a clunky religious name and I am not religious.

Best Answer

relax, yo

Best Answer

I think you should stick with the name they chose legaly then ask others friends etc to call you the name you desire,,,,Growlin is a nice name for sure.

Best Answer

Well, their reactions are to an event that you are creating. In that way, yes. They have control over their reactions, you only have control over the event. So...do you try to control every event in their lives that causes a reaction? Or do you assume that they will take responsibility over their own reactions and emotions? Also, you are not indebted to them for loving you. They didn't have to. They chose to. Although, changing your name is a very large decision. At 22, very often we make choices that in 10-15 years seem petty or even unconsequential<br />
<br />
Think really hard about it. Ultimately, it is your name. Change it if you really want to. Just be aware of consequenses. It may mean losing your parents.

Best Answer

I dont believe you are personally responsible for there feelings. They may have raised you and took care of you while you were younger, but all that hard work was so they would have a strong daughter with the integrity to make her own choices, right? Now they may not see your perspective which will causes hurt feelings, and there feelings should not be taken for granted, but that dosnt mean that it is wise or even wrong. Go for it, you have the right to identify yourself as a individual in what ever way you decide : )

Best Answer

What your new name? Is it awesome?

Best Answer

Yeah dude! It's short and sweet and has hundreds of years of history behind it! Plus it hasn't been really popular in North America since about the 1940s when it was in the top 300 most popular names.

Best Answer

Hmmm but what is it? Old English? Puritan? I wanna knoooow.

Best Answer

i think that you need to avoid and ignore all of your dysfunctional family. Lead your own life and allow them to lead theirs .

Best Answer

I can only relate my experience.<br />
My husband and I had 4 children at a time that the sex was not known before birth. He had a boys name picked out before I met him, for his first son honoring his father and heritage) and the first was a boy. <br />
The other three ( boy, 2 girls), were thought about, talked about, changed, pages of baby name books starred and crossed out, family names considered..(who could we honor and who would feel slighted!.)<br />
I used the names that were decided in songs, calling the name. being angry using the name. I thought of how the name would sound to children that had an aunt or uncle by this name or how the kids in school could twist it or cruelly rhyme it. I made sure the initals were not embarrassing.<br />
The decision took us months..<br />
I suspect your parents did the same<br />
<br />
I would feel a lot of hurt if one of my children wanted to change their name. It is part of their identity.<br />
It is legal tho,.. ...and a perfect and permanent act of rebellion!<br />
I hope you reconsider Perhaps the name you are considering could be saved for your own child??.

Best Answer

Related Questions