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Me and my boyfriend decided to split the bills when we moved in together. Now he never has his whole half and expects me to pay them. I do pay them because I hate when they are late. Should we break up over this fianacial stuff? I can't get thro to him no matter how many times we talk bout it. I don't think it's fair to me.
lovemelovemenot lovemelovemenot 31-35, F 19 Answers Sep 17, 2009

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Wow! This could be me asking the same exact question! My boyfriend moved in with me eight months ago. I spoke with him about what bills needed to be paid BEFORE he moved in. I gave him the first month free because he was still paying for his last apartment and paying two rents would be outrageous. He had helped me out before anyway, so it was even. I even went so far as to download a month to month rental agreement between the two of us. Now, he is adorable and sweet and helps around the house a ton! Rent and bills are now going on eight months unpaid by him. I asked him to cover 1/4 of the rent because I make a lot more money than he does and it is my house. I rented an office for him also and it was in my name and I wound up paying his rent for that each month as well, not because I volunteered out of generosity, but because the damn thing was in my name and he never switched it over into his. I have a perfect credit rating and rental history, so of course they rented to me. Each month we get in an argument over the same crap, bills. He racked up thousands of dollars in parking tickets in my car. I paid them and have not seen one dime back. The first is coming up again and I asked him for rent again and he half laughing said, no! I don't have it for you. So far, in eight months, I have been responsible for covering a bare minimum of $15,000 for this guy! Love or the idea that things might change and that he will do the right thing kept me in this situation. These mamas boys are fun, smooth talkers, charming and they are sexy! They tell you everything you want to hear. Why? Because they know that you are supporting their lazy ***** and they just get a free ride and have to take absolutely NO responsibility for themselves. I FINALLY kicked him to the curb today and he is leaving. No more back and forth. That money could have gone to: 1. paying off my credit cards, 2. paying for a semester of graduate school and my student loans, 3. a heck of a nice shopping spree, 4. a lovely trip, 5. a car, 6. someone who really needs it with a starving family! Don't let this guy fool you into thinking that things will change! No self-respecting man would EVER expect a girl to take care of him. If you continue on like this, you have only yourself to blame. If you are posting this question, you are uncomfortable with the situation. No one should rely on someone else to take care of them. There is nothing sexier than a man who is going somewhere with their lives and have purpose. If a man does not want to work hard to be able to afford the things he wants to the lifestyle that he leads, he needs to work for it and not mooch off of a sweet, innocent, trusting young lady like yourself. What kind of an example would he make if you were to have kids. Ask your father what he thinks of this behavior. This is the type of man you father would want you to stay away from. Excuses are just lame. FInd a real man who you can rely on!!!!!!!!

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I'm an old lady of 51. Sorry, but this is why I believe people should not live together unmarried; because the woman gets used, she takes most of the risks --- and then finds out the guy is a BUM... and is left holding the bag, often unknowingly with a VD, a baby... yadda, yadda. Stand on your own two feet until you meet a prince with some standards.

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Not at all, he's using you, teach him to respect you and respect the gravity of the financial situation your in and that it is heavilly connected to your relationship, or dump him.

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no, god no, why do you need to ask?

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When living together ... No!

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no, that isn't selfish at all. If he doesn't chip in now he won't do it 10 yrs from now.<br />
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You need to tell him your not his mommy and if you choose to have this behavior of the money is all his and you have to pay the bills. I would say "Don't let the door hit you in the *** when you leave.<br />
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I don't know what bill you have. if he has a cell phone separte from yours don't pay it, only pay yours.<br />
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I had this happen when I was dating this guy and I finally had enough. I changed the locks on the door and he begged me to let him and I said I believe you owe some money to use the utilies , phone, food.<br />
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Quick note I never gave him a key until he corrected his behavior.

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It never gets any better... They continue to have less bill money... You end up spending all of yours ... and they take what they do have and spend it on fun things for themselves and call you boring because your money goes to the bills... The sooner you get away, the better you can take care of yourself. This is a sign of an abusive relationship.

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if he is selfish like this what else is he selfish about? this type of selfishness is within someones core. does he pay rent?if he does up his rent a little to cover the bills. that way you don't have to ask him to pay for bills.

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Only half?<br />
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Whatever happened to whole?

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all's fair in love and war :)

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Leaving may be your only out.

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No, it is not fair to you. He even agreed to it, so he should do it. Up to you whether you break up over this, but you are not wrong. You should never have to foot all the bills.

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