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Am I still being an idiot?

My wife told me she has met someone else after 15 years together, I still love her and my children very much and it is killing me. I have done everything she has asked since we split (4 months now). I helped them move, I take the girls to and from school when she need's me to, I have gone over when she wasn't well and looked after all of them, I have spent every penny I have on them, I have even been over today hung the pics she wanted and bought her a new coat. She keeps telling me it is over but she has pics of me as her screen saver and after I have told her I will keep trying no matter what, she still seems to let me. Why? Am I being an Idot?
p.s. I am now on antidepresants, I don't think I can go on like this for much longer. What can I do?

Posted 12 months ago

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jingles8826

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

No. You're not an Idiot. You are just being faithful, being deeply in love and being hopeful. It is causing you pain, definitely. But that doesn't mean you are an idiot. If you stop doing all those that you are doing now, you'll probably regret and think yourself a greater idiot. But you chose to continue loving and to continue giving and even if in the end, you really find that the relationship has ended and has no way back, at least you can tell yourself you did everything you could to save it and not simply just left to die off. Coz a relationship like yours is definitely something that means alot to you for you to want to keep it.

Posted 12 months ago

Other 7 Answers to Am I still being an idiot?

peterson1964	Posted Nov 29th, 2008 at 8:03PM Dude, I think it sounds like she is the one who is being and idiot. Rated: +3Vote for this!
EricS	Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 6:23AM You sound like you are being a good husband/father. I would, however, set some parameters around how many good deeds you do for her. Eventually the nobility will be lost and you will just be pandering to a woman who may not want you anymore. Focus on loving your kids and providing for them the best you can. You've shown her that you love her as much as you can. Focus on your kids and come whatever may in regards to her. Good luck. :) Rated: +3Vote for this!
shadowgirl	Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 6:23AM well I think you need to care for your kids, just like you are doing and will continue to do. I however do think that you need to move on, she is more or less just using you. She needs some time alone to figure out what she wants or who she wants. You are providing a wonderful safety net which ends up keeping both of you in limbo and really the situation doesn't help the kids either. They need to know where things stand between you. I am a child of divorce, its not easy but stability in one situation or another helps a lot. Rated: +2Vote for this!
chanceNaodhan	Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 6:23AM The fact that you are taking care of your kids is honorable and you should continue to do so. However, it does sound like she is using you. I hate to put it so bluntly, because you obviously love her. Put her needs aside and concentrate on you and your children. You never know, maybe once she realizes what shes lost she'll learn to appreciate you. Rated: +2Vote for this!
captadam42	Posted Nov 29th, 2008 at 7:19PM no your still in love and the heart wants what it wants just keeping trying thats all you can do and always be a good parent cause no matter what happens you still have the love of your children Rated: +1Vote for this!
flourlady111	Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 6:23AM maybe you 2 will get back together Rated: +1Vote for this!
mimiboo	Posted Nov 30th, 2008 at 6:23AM She lets you because it works for her.... you're not being an idiot.. you're hurt and want her back. However- if she doesn't want to come back theres nothing you can do. Look after your kids and do the best you can, somethings got to give. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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