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Why do people think it's normal and common for a girl to want to marry a man almost 30? Growing up I knew the boundaries of Child/teen and adult and never ventured beyond it. Why do people condone such feelings in children?
HigherCalling HigherCalling 22-25, F 10 Answers Aug 25 in Dating & Relationships

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My grandmother get married when she was 14. It's about maturity I guess

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I think it is necessary

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A 14 year old is mature? Mature enough to get married and have kids? LOL haha. Alright. We better keep an eye out for you. Might be hiding some secrets there.

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Depends on genetics and how one been raised. Even if you're 20 but idiotly childish, marriage is not for you. My secret is I walk into the culture,I dont musing them through pages only.

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Let's all hope.

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well yes and no. Its unacceptable for so many reasons in todays culture but the desire makes sense because it use to be women married at an extremely young age to older men usually un until about the 1950's so although I think its inappropriate in todays world there must be something biological to it

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Sounds more like brain washing.

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I doubt it... it existed in lots of different cultures up until modern times... it dosnt make it right though as the world we live in today is much different.

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You are right. It is biological and evolutionary behavior. She needs a man old enough and established enough to support and protect her and her children. He needs a woman at the first part of her child bearing age. The age difference in those two requirements leads to young women marrying older men. The demands of society since the 1950 are pretty much psycho.

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Really? But notice the dynamics of that. You are saying that women need a man for protection and that her sole purpose is for children. You are also blind to the fact that during those times women had little rights. They were not able to read, work or care for themselves. Sorry but no thank you. I don't feel any biological need to reproduce with an old fart. LOL

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Teenage men are NOT ready to support or protect a woman and a family. Twenty something men are just becoming mature enough. But women become ready to bear children in their early teens, and even that is older than females of most other species. The age was set by the behavior of thousands of generations of women bearing their children at that age.

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Brainwashing involved, but its on the other side. The late 20th century avoidance of marriage and child bearing is deliberate brain washing by anti-family feminists.

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RIIIIGHT. How are you not so sure that the way things were before were from brainwashing by chauvinistic males who wanted to keep their control on young women. The younger they are the more easily misled. Sadly. Now women have a choice as to who they want to marry, are educated and are not easily misled or forced into marriage with someone they don't like. :)

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This just proves that everything is about child birthing. Yeah sure a woman might be able to give birth due to her periods but what about her emotional and mental maturity? Humans , both male and female are more than just their ability to birth or protect. We have a mind and emotions. The younger we are, the less developed we are in those areas. Our goal as humans is not solely to procreate but to teach our little ones as well. This is the sign of a true evolved human being.

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When I was that age, I thought all older men were gross....and older being about 25 and up. lol

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LOL GOOD! That's how it should be.

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I should have added in there that when I was 21, I actually married a guy that was 35. At that age, I didn't see as much difference in our ages, but as a teen it felt like a million years difference to someone over 25.

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haha You are really open minded. I'm 26 and think guys older than 31 are just too old for me.

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I can understand that...I still kinda felt like that when I met that man, but he acted and looked younger, so I got sucked into it. It didn't work out, though. I am open-minded to a certain degree, but there's stuff on EP that I just couldn't be open to...ever! lol ;)

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haha yeah EP is a scary place. It was better when it was new, that's for sure.

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I have only been on for 2 years, and it's gone downhill since then. I hear a lot that it was even better befre I joined. :)

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Yeah, true. But then all the girls claiming how much they love older men adds to the idea too. Though they usually say they like older guys more out of an immature frustration with guys in their own age group, so suddenly it's "I love older men. Older men are mature and care about me." Blah blah.

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But why is this acceptable? Do you think it's good or bad?

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I wouldn't say it's good, no. We make it this way because traditionally for ages women married older men, so we kinda hang on to that mindset even now.

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True but imagine if a guy actually takes up that teen's offer. We would throw him in jail. Why? The girl is just as responsible as he is. I remember being a teen and none of us were 100 percent innocent or fragile.

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This is very true and something I've thought about before. I think the same thing about girls having sex with their teachers. We try to say most girls in those situations were taken advantage of by the man, that he molested her, but I know real cases of girls who very much wanted to have sex with their teacher and enjoyed it. So she should be guilty too, yeah.

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exactly! Psh. I knew a few girls in my high school that actually tried to be alone with him and another that took gifts from him. Highly stupid.

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For thousand of generations young women have been marrying older men. She needs a man who is old enough and economically established enough to support her and her family. He needs a woman young enough to bear his children. Its been the most common match for many thousand generations of your mothers and fathers.

Also, a young woman age 14 to 16 is approaching the peak of her biological child bearing age.

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14-16 is the peak? Uhm no. 14-16 is usually when some girls start their first menstruation. Women do not hit menopause until 40s-50s. That gives enough time to have kids.

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I forgot to add most people do not stop developing until age 30.

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You've been told wrong. According to medical research data, the fertility of an average woman begins to decline at age 26 and declines rapidly after age 30. Fertility clinics do $$Billions of business from desperate 30 something women who waited too long. The peak biological baby making years for an average woman is about age 16 to 18.

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Really? can you please site your sources. Not to mention this still does not prove right to have a young woman marry someone way older. Wouldn't this just prove that she should Have kids earlier? With someone around her own age group?

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Young men are not ready to support a family when she is ready to bear children. That's the biology.

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Not to mention there are plenty of young girls who start their periods at age 14 or 16. That means that their development isn't complete. There are complications on both ends of the spectrum.

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Every girl I've known got their period at ages 9-12. Some got it as early as 8.

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The age of menarche may be influenced by environmental factors, but is primarily determined by evolutionary practice of all their foremothers. Human females are becoming biologically ready to bear children around age 9-12 because some very large percentage of their mothers were bearing children about that age for thousands of generations. Even that is old compared to females of most mammalian species. None of the 20th century feminist hysteria and anti-family hate campaigns has changed female biology at all.

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Who knows, people are weirdoes.

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It's not normal...and most kids aren't normal anyway :)

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i think its weird too cos, at that age hormones are playing around.. and if they do make that decision and get married.. they will regret it later in their life..

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People don't think it is Normal,or Common. Most people think any man that gets involved with a girl 14 to 16 to be a,Pervert,and in some cases a criminal.

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I'm talking about the girl. Why is it ok for teenaged girls to have older guy crushes. Some even try to flirt. Everyone thinks its a harmless crush but I don't agree.

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It is not OK. This older man younger girl thing is a sore spot to me.I have 3 Daughters ,30,25,21. I take them out to eat,or shopping, when I am in their area,on Business. They all live within 100 miles of my Wife and I. One time when I took the 21 year old out to Dinner,a Stutid lady followed her into the bathroom,and said "Honey ,your Too Pretty to have a "Sugar Daddy" you should find someone closer to your own age". She was totally embarrassed,and has always come up with excuses why she can't go out to dinner,with me ever since. So,due to old FOOLS going out with Children half their age,a man can't even take his own Daughter out,without getting Funny Looks.It is really a shame the world keeps getting more Perverted,and Morals and standards keep being eroded every year. I am actually glad I'm almost 60 and only have 10 or so years left.I don't want to live in the world of 20 years from Now. :(

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I'm so sorry that happened to you. I agree totally and there is something to be said by a lack of boundaries and respect. I grew up knowing the boundaries , physically, emotionally and socially when dealing with adults. If anyone crossed the line, I would kindly put them back in their place. NO one can look at people as uncles, brothers, Grandmas anymore. Everyone is a free for all "sex" party. I do not excuse young girls lusting for grown men either. It's just not right and says alot about their character.

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Exactly ,I told my daughters,when they were in their teens they could only date guys no more than a year older than them. Even Grown now, I have told them 5 years older is the max.These days relationships only have a 50/50 chance of lasting long term,(which is what everyone wants) When you add in, differences such as,Age,Race,Religion, Background ,ect this just makes the Odds Worse. These are the Facts,and can be verified by multiple university studies done on the subject.

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I totally agree! I also have the 5 year rule. :D It's best to be with someone very similar to you, in terms of values and age. In marriage the two must be similar in order to reduce disagreements and make planning the future together, easier. it's good to see an older male with these sort of values. I was beginning to worry about the state of this world. LOL

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What we are talking about,(having as much in common as possible,to improve your chances),is just Common sense,a thing in short supply these days. I have lived my life with these simple guidelines,and My wife and I have been together for 27 years. :)

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:D perfect role model. Thank you for sharing your story.

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