Annoyed- Why can't people be there for you and NOT hit on you?

Stop confiding to pigs and find a human being.

The kind of compassion and sensitivity you seem to be seeking is a rare commodity - regardless of gender. Think of all the people you have known in your short life - hundreds I'm guessing. Now, think of how few of them you ever thought you felt any real connection with - a dozen? And of those, how many actually turned out to be worthy of that deep level of trust? Two? Three?

Lesson? you have to go through a lot of acquaintances to find a few friends; and you have to go through a lot of friends to find those with whom you have a special connection, who you can trust enough to share your vulnerability.

Notice I've only been talking friendship - no mention of gender, but, when you throw in the fact that you are young and, apparently, attractive, you complicate the equation dramatically.

Young men are looking for breeding partners - just like young women. We're all of us, men and women, wired that way - not really conscious of why we do it - just are drawn to do it.

So, the breeding dance gets in the way. Young men see your admission of vulnerability and confusion, not as a signal to go slow and to nurture you, rather, as a signal you are available and desireable, as an opportunity to breed.

Showing your vulnerability indiscriminately is going to attract the wrong sorts of men - shallow men who have limited capacity for or experience of the sorts of connections that can form between people who open their hearts to each other.

stop confiding in males lol confide in experience project and confide in yourself. write in a journal damn it. you're pretty and so males aren't concerned about your problems because their primary problem is not being inside you...you know how men feel...a pretty girl such as yourself may be hurting inside but all they are thinking about is being inside. Try to write in a journal, i know it sounds hard and annoying and not what you want to hear...because confiding in a journal is simply confiding in yourself...scribbling your thoughts and feelings. But trust me I think you'll feel somewhat enlightened and self guided by the time you figure out what it is you're writing about....just keep writing more and more about what you're saying about men and feeling lesbian. i've had major sexual identity issues myself...during depression as well. I doubt you're a lesbian because I think you would know it already. I thought I was a lesbian too because I like girls but I also like guys and probably won't stop thus I am bi. Being with a man would make you happy if they cared about your heart and didn't worry about whether they can lay you or not. take it from me...you deserve to be happy with yourself...single....sexually diverse in whatever orientation you feel you are.

Firstly, you're hanging with the wrong guys. The cocky, macho types aren't even in touch with their own emotions, never mind yours.

Well... it's probably because you're really quite beautiful. I don't know you though so I can assure you that I don't want to get in your pants. If you want some advice I'd be more than happy to assist (I swear I won't stare at your chest too - we are online after all) tee hee

some say that guys and girls can't be "just friends" because there will always be the attraction factor, the "what if?". sometimes it gets in the way and people end up hurting instead of helping. gay guys are some of the best friends because they aren't attracted to you so they might care more about what's worrying you instead of trying to get with you.

two reasons, your name, and your picture

If a guy is feeling bad and talks to someone, he very likely wants you to make him feel like its all not so bad, and distract him with some activity - sex is a fav I'm guessing.

Maybe these guys are doing the 'selfish love' thing that us girls do too - give what they want back, not what you need. They are not meaning to be callous - they just dont understand that you need to vent and be validated before you can let it go. Dont worry about it, and get a female friend to confide in. :)

We have never and may never meet face to face, but I assure you that we arent all like that. There are still plenty of guys out here that even if we find you highly attractive and desirable......have enough integrity to not cross lines and keep things platonic.

cause now adays the popular philosophy is "what about me?"..and it sucks..usually if there is an attraction for you from the man they are going to think only about pleasing themselves first, then after they get what they want it's "I guess I don't actually have the answers you're looking for" kinda thing.."some men are real dicks!!"

I am right there with you.... I have flat out told guys that I am not interested in a relationship and they still tried to kiss me, right after I just got done telling them NO...

So for now I am just looking for a girlfriend... Then I can be with her, and maybe together we can fend off the hound dogs.....

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

**** attracts flies.

there's two things I can see at work here.
1, guys hit on you, when you're looking for them to be a friend. Have you tried finding a gay guy to be friends with? If he's truly gay, then you would be safe from having him hit on you. It's just a thought.

If any of the guys who hit on you are old friends, they may have gotten confused with becoming close so close to you, lines got blurry for them, and so they hit on you cuz they thought maybe being close meant being in a relationship,etc. Guys aren't as good at sorting out the subtleties in their feelings, while girls are often masters at that. Which brings me to point number 2

2, Guys tend to simplify their emotions, and other people's emotions (including yours). They don't mean any harm, it's just that for us guys, solutions don't come from endless thinking. Men usually solve things by doing. Men don't get as detailed about what we feel before we decide what we're going to do about it.

Women get very very detailed with their emotions, they often find their solutions from thinking through everything, and they want men to just listen. So when men hear women talk about their worries for so long, they mistakenly try to reassure you "not to worry so much." they think they're being comforting. Because if they (themselves) thought about something for that long, then they'd need a friend to tell them to calm down, so then they could go do something to find their solution. He's trying to be helpful, he's just doing it in guy language since it's all he knows.

He doesn't realise you need someone to reassure you by listening, to listen to what's important to you, and validate how you feel, etc. Women do that naturally, but to men it's a very strange way to "help" someone. They just don't know how. You could try to explain to them that's what you need. Or you could try to find some more female friends who are better at being that kind of friend.

A lot of these guys that are hitting on you are likely very broken themselves, (although you'll probably never get it out of them - or if you do they'll use it as a way of seducing you) The hitting on you and wanting sex for them is how they seek acceptance, and a form of love. I should know I'm a guy and thats what sex was for me!

Don't define your self by the words and actions of others, only define yourself by your own actions. Know yourself and who it is you want to be and the answers you seek will find you.