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tell me about your social life.. work/college life..&& personal relationships ..pleaseee feeling super alone && lost
beautifuldisasterxLeeann beautifuldisasterxLeeann 18-21, F 14 Answers Feb 9, 2013 in Community

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I am. Also bipolar ii

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being bi polar is like a piece to the bpd puzzle just like bdd

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When my BPD is not flaring up, as I like to call it, I still feel mania and/or depression with no BPD symptoms otherwise. I like to think they are desperate in that respect.

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I totally get you hun

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I dated an MPD once.

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i hope you can talk about it.. maybe in private if your comfortable i dont veer off topic

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I suspect many on this site have something..

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im not but my sister has schizophrenia

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At least you're aware of it. It's super hard for those with personality disorders to figure it out.

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i've been a terror since i was like 8.. i started having symptoms i just had no idea why i was the way i was && would think && feel the way i did... when i was 17 i got put in the hospital && the depths of darkness took a whole 'nother turn... I've been misdiagnosed twice.. i guess 3rd times the charm.. now im certain && positive but they also say most don't display all symptoms until the end of adolescence plus your not allowed to diagnose personality disorders until the person is no longer a minor unless its like impossible to say they don't have whatever it is.. .. finding out felt like a new start && a death sentence at the same time..

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Well, that's because people change a lot until their 18. It's not that they're not allowed, it's that young people change a lot. You can have a violent kid grow up to become a star citizen, and a star child grow up to be a criminal.
Take heart though, since you're already aware of it, your far better off than most of the world. Most people don't even acknowledge there issues. Most of them insist they get it right. Most are dead wrong. Not only are they dead wrong, but their laziness means they won't attempt to face the reality of life. Mean while, there are children being abused in all sorts of ways. If they would get off their lazy *****, risk things, and tempt fate, they would shine light on the evil and expose it all. Then the evil would shrivel. Alas, they do not. So there evil reigns. You're not apart of this because you have opened your eyes to your own crap.
One thing you will have to face is why people are so harsh and critical, and why nobody helps you. It's as if since you cannot give them something, they want nothing to do with you.

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my boyfriend wants to get married.. after last night idk he's not talking to me..&& thinks im going to cheat on him with an ex b/c of my words =/... but him && wanting a family for the first time bc i actually thought i could acheive it made me want to really address myself.. i ran away from the truth when i was 17 bc i had a bad experiences with being in the care of professionals they just drugged me up && when ever i was having a hard time they would lock me up or not let me draw which clammed me.. && when i didnt feel like being around others or.. speak in group they would lock me up again.. i was put in there by my two mothers i believe they thought it was for my best interest i was cutting really bad && other ****.. && i dont think they know what they were doing to me.. && i was embarrassed to tell .. i told my ex one day && after that he consistently made fun of me called me a psycho && would like insinuate mean things but act like it was okay bc he was "joking" i left him after 3+ years.. for the last month after a bad fight with my current bf breaking up with me i decided i couldnt do this on my own anymore since then every business day i call places && ppl for help but i just have ran into closed doors i even had my insurance give me names && stuff but most don't treat ppl like me.. or know how.. so i decided id go to a "normal" thearapists center but that didn't work out either i told them i just need someone to talk to..&& all of a sudden they had a waiting list so.. i just cried n stood in the snow storm until i felt like i could return home without taking it out on anybody.. iv been down since..&& last night i was a dragon to my bf.. i just want to at least be on the proper path to getting it together before he's had enough.. i know my time it ticking

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Actually, a healthy person would have problems like this given some of your circumstances. You might not have as much of a disorder as it seems. First of all, a boyfriend teasing you like that is very destructive. I wouldn't marry him. I would run from him like the plague. This also exposes a very real problem. You're attracted to losers and not because they turn you on, but because you feel insecure and think they're going to teach you something. These are arrogant (it makes you a loser). You'll also attract bullies, dysfunctional people, and evil people to you because you'll be seeking the truth for yourself. They'll see this as an opportunity. "Ah, here's someone who I can mold and shape into someone who will worship me."
It sounds like you have been mistreated at the hands of these professionals. Then again, it's also possible you misunderstood them because Borderline is full of these serious misunderstandings.
I recommend for you the self-help books called, The Road Less Traveled. In these books, Scott M. Peck lays out the foundation for good mental health. It'll give you the foundation you need to start deciding of the things that are right and wrong, of that done to you and that you do to others. It will help you protect yourself, and learn to open up. You'll learn how to spot those to trust and who to not.

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thank you im going to see if the library has it 2mm bc they just closed..&& my current bf is amazing he helped me with anorexia && more..its crazy.. his mom had a personality disorder i often feel like his whole life prepared him to be with me. i love him enough to break norms && not give a F what others && my fam think... he's so optomistic it actaully makes me sick sometimes bc sometimes i just cant see a brighter side.. i was talking about my ex who was terrible in some ways he just put up with me bc of what i looked like && he felt cool bc i was 100% faithful && his friends && even family wanted to be with me.. so stupid its so sad but i was in high school then && i just didnt want to be lonely.i was just lost && immature. he got pretty bad && started to even be contolling ..when i got to college i reevaluated myself && i found someone my current bf that understands im not perfect but eveyone has their limints i just push the limits all the time && iv done things i would never tell you or anybody probably ever.we been together for a while i just told him in december about the disorder ... i know he's good for me i just want to be just as good for him.. not treat him like a punching bag.. im going to seriously look into that book..thank you!!

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Perfect.

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I have some friends right now, I met them through making a Quidditch team at my school. But I feel really alone from them when I realize I can't talk to them about my issues. I don't like putting my burdens on others so I just end up isolating myself and then when I reach out it feels empty and like no ones theres.

I'm currently in a relationship and its so difficult. He has schizophrenia, and I thought this would make him more understanding to my dissociation and struggles but he's becoming more and more distant as I'm sinking down into a hole.

I had a suicidal episode exactly one year a week from now, because I wasn't sleeping and I started hearing things and I was walking around campus for two days.

It's really hard getting through it, when there's really no one to talk to. But its so hard with BPD because sometimes you want to talk forever, but sometimes I don't even want to be near anyone.



Add that to the constant up and down of the day, its so tiring.

But I'm just focusing on how to graduate and getting through it.

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Okay my sister has it. And my best friend.

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I have been in and out of psychiatric care for most of my life and have a huge family history of mental illness in my family. Recently after 6 months of being improperly medically treated for about 6 months by a psychiatrist I made a very serious attempt on my life and wound up in an inpatient facility where I was diagnosed with bpd. Its a pretty scary realization for me but it also seems to answer alot of questions that every other diagnosis left open. I would love to talk more and share experiences, I have been doing alot of reading lately but since I have only known for a short while I'm sure it would be beneficial to hear swap stories with others.

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you certainly are not alone. my symptoms are raging out of control right now

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Oh, it's madness. I been manipulative and devious to other people both real and internet hates me.



But i also learn that Bpd patient like us are especially creative and genius at their own craft, so don't mind other people. Because if we do we'll hurt them, and when we hurt them, we hurt ourselves right and become EMO for week.



This mind keep telling us that it hate us. right?

For everything we done?



Actually we don't have enemy and long term Friends are really hard to get. Still there are costumers piling up on my doorstep every morning so it wasn't so bad,



i know that BPD crave attention which end up hurting us in the end so if you feel lonely.. well, you're not alone, there are a bunch of us BPD.



We understand each other perfectly, so don't you feel lonely.



Unlike those freaking bastards who called themselves 'normal people', we're perfectly normal on our own term & state of mind so don't mind them up. Keep everything on professional levels and you'll be alright.



If you want to have a girlfriend, better take one that understand psychology or fellow BPD. In my case however, my bpd is inheritance from my mother, so don't be surprise if our legacy follow suits.

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