I am. Also bipolar ii
When my BPD is not flaring up, as I like to call it, I still feel mania and/or depression with no BPD symptoms otherwise. I like to think they are desperate in that respect.
I dated an MPD once.
I suspect many on this site have something..
im not but my sister has schizophrenia
At least you're aware of it. It's super hard for those with personality disorders to figure it out.
Well, that's because people change a lot until their 18. It's not that they're not allowed, it's that young people change a lot. You can have a violent kid grow up to become a star citizen, and a star child grow up to be a criminal.
Take heart though, since you're already aware of it, your far better off than most of the world. Most people don't even acknowledge there issues. Most of them insist they get it right. Most are dead wrong. Not only are they dead wrong, but their laziness means they won't attempt to face the reality of life. Mean while, there are children being abused in all sorts of ways. If they would get off their lazy *****, risk things, and tempt fate, they would shine light on the evil and expose it all. Then the evil would shrivel. Alas, they do not. So there evil reigns. You're not apart of this because you have opened your eyes to your own crap.
One thing you will have to face is why people are so harsh and critical, and why nobody helps you. It's as if since you cannot give them something, they want nothing to do with you.
Actually, a healthy person would have problems like this given some of your circumstances. You might not have as much of a disorder as it seems. First of all, a boyfriend teasing you like that is very destructive. I wouldn't marry him. I would run from him like the plague. This also exposes a very real problem. You're attracted to losers and not because they turn you on, but because you feel insecure and think they're going to teach you something. These are arrogant (it makes you a loser). You'll also attract bullies, dysfunctional people, and evil people to you because you'll be seeking the truth for yourself. They'll see this as an opportunity. "Ah, here's someone who I can mold and shape into someone who will worship me."
It sounds like you have been mistreated at the hands of these professionals. Then again, it's also possible you misunderstood them because Borderline is full of these serious misunderstandings.
I recommend for you the self-help books called, The Road Less Traveled. In these books, Scott M. Peck lays out the foundation for good mental health. It'll give you the foundation you need to start deciding of the things that are right and wrong, of that done to you and that you do to others. It will help you protect yourself, and learn to open up. You'll learn how to spot those to trust and who to not.
I have some friends right now, I met them through making a Quidditch team at my school. But I feel really alone from them when I realize I can't talk to them about my issues. I don't like putting my burdens on others so I just end up isolating myself and then when I reach out it feels empty and like no ones theres.
I'm currently in a relationship and its so difficult. He has schizophrenia, and I thought this would make him more understanding to my dissociation and struggles but he's becoming more and more distant as I'm sinking down into a hole.
I had a suicidal episode exactly one year a week from now, because I wasn't sleeping and I started hearing things and I was walking around campus for two days.
It's really hard getting through it, when there's really no one to talk to. But its so hard with BPD because sometimes you want to talk forever, but sometimes I don't even want to be near anyone.
Add that to the constant up and down of the day, its so tiring.
But I'm just focusing on how to graduate and getting through it.
Okay my sister has it. And my best friend.
I have been in and out of psychiatric care for most of my life and have a huge family history of mental illness in my family. Recently after 6 months of being improperly medically treated for about 6 months by a psychiatrist I made a very serious attempt on my life and wound up in an inpatient facility where I was diagnosed with bpd. Its a pretty scary realization for me but it also seems to answer alot of questions that every other diagnosis left open. I would love to talk more and share experiences, I have been doing alot of reading lately but since I have only known for a short while I'm sure it would be beneficial to hear swap stories with others.
you certainly are not alone. my symptoms are raging out of control right now
Oh, it's madness. I been manipulative and devious to other people both real and internet hates me.
But i also learn that Bpd patient like us are especially creative and genius at their own craft, so don't mind other people. Because if we do we'll hurt them, and when we hurt them, we hurt ourselves right and become EMO for week.
This mind keep telling us that it hate us. right?
For everything we done?
Actually we don't have enemy and long term Friends are really hard to get. Still there are costumers piling up on my doorstep every morning so it wasn't so bad,
i know that BPD crave attention which end up hurting us in the end so if you feel lonely.. well, you're not alone, there are a bunch of us BPD.
We understand each other perfectly, so don't you feel lonely.
Unlike those freaking bastards who called themselves 'normal people', we're perfectly normal on our own term & state of mind so don't mind them up. Keep everything on professional levels and you'll be alright.
If you want to have a girlfriend, better take one that understand psychology or fellow BPD. In my case however, my bpd is inheritance from my mother, so don't be surprise if our legacy follow suits.