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Thanks for all the suggestions everyone!
mindnoter mindnoter 26-30, M 14 Answers Dec 7, 2012 in Divorce

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Take time out. You need to find Yourself first.

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I agree with this assessment! After mine I still havent found where I left off before I got married.

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DIVORCE, not divorse. Time is your best way to move on. I drank as much as I could for 2 years and had a ball, no trouble but that's not for everyone. Mine too was sudden. Here today, gone tomorrow. I changed cities, got a better job and have never been back there. Don't stay where she is. AVoid contact of any kind. Don't go where you used to. Change your numbersm and address etc. Disappear in other words. It can tak a long time, particularly given the shock. I was told people who do that use the last period with us to confort themselves and get over us. So we help them through the hard times.<br />
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Feel used at all?

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I wouldnt correct spelling before you corrected your own...

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What have you wanted too try and never attempted?

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Skydiving, guitar, martial arts.. Think I need to comit even though I dint feel like going anywhere just to break the cycle of nothing. I like it.

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I never did the martial arts. Try them.. don't squander them :)

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Martial arts part is not true. We did them a little bit in the army and I tried for my white belt before that

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Definitely try to find yourself. Try to plan one to two things on your off times/days from work to take away from wandering thoughts that tend to linger on what was comfortable in the past. be open to making friends and slowly heal. don't rush. When we rush is when we tend to head towards the past.

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You take time to heal yourself first. Spend time with yourself. Do things that you couldn't do when you were married. Write in a journal. Then get a make over. Get a massage, a new haircut, a few new clothes. Get outside and spend some time in fresh air. Start volunteering at different organizations to meet different people. Join a few places that you like and become active on their boards. Pick things that are single oriented until you feel better about being around couples. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to start a new life after divorce.

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Um, you do realize you're talking to a guy? Make-up &amp; new hair style would work for a few guys I know, but by &amp; large not their thing.

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ROFLOL!!!!

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I did all those things, except for the make up part (wearing make up just isn't my thing) after my divorce. It helped make a clean break of things in the past. Then I started to feel normal after I made some changes in my life and tried new things.

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lol, jip I dont think the makup will help me much. Give me a shooting range or a extream adventure. The massage and networking though sounds good.

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Oops, sorry, ckRE. No make up for you. I'll correct that.

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2 More Responses

I'd encourage you to develop your personal interests, check into hobby groups, hiking groups, reading groups. I assume you are interested in creating a web of friendship, rather than just looking for a new lover. I find it easiest to get to know new people when we share an interest, whether it's training dogs or gardening or spirituality.

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Yes, as many people mentioned here I need to find myself first so only friends not relationships. I guess it comesdown to connection points, church (havn been in a while but am interested), work, hobbies, internet..

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Yes, and as you explore these avenues &amp; stay open to new possibilities, all along you will be learning what it is you can bring to ANY relationship, what it is you have to offer, what is genuinely important to you as opposed to what is merely a nice idea. So often we try to fit a real life into a nice idea &amp; that never quite works out, we end up suffering. Better to find the authentic good qualities of your life.
Good luck, good fortune, good life. =0)

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:D <br />
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You don't need to do anything.<br />
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You might need to find yourself, get to know You.

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Enjoy your freedom, get to "know" yourself better, no rebounds, for a while....

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Take your time! But dont wait if you think you are ready to date! Exes are Exes for a reason. DEUCES *****!! ^_^

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Slow and steady wins the race...

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