Me.. I always have to look away after a couple of seconds..
Yeah, I feel uncomfortable making eye contact. I've thought about it for years as to why I get so uncomfortable. I think it has something to do with when I was in grade school. I laughed at something funny a guy said and he made direct eye contact with me and said "you are SO ugly. " I think I am afraid that people will turn on me if I make eye contact for too long or something.
I also hate making eye contact for longer than a few seconds. It makes me feel extremely nervous. I think it has a lot to do with low self esteem.
If I have to make eye contact for long periods, then I just stare at the person's eyebrows instead. They never know the difference! :)
Wrong person, and I avoid it like the plague.
Right person, nothing deeper, sultrier or sexier.
My friends and I tend to think people who avoid eye contact are shifty, weasely, untrustworthy, uncomfortable or fearful. Well, at least when it comes to members of the same sex. When it comes to members of the opposite sex, people tend to be more aware of making the other person uncomfortable or trying to avoid accusations of staring or ogling or whatnot. Eye contact is an important aspect of social interaction, and it is something that many shy and socially anxious people have difficulty with. Often people with social anxiety describe looking someone in the eyes as anxiety-provoking and uncomfortable.
I believe eye contact is important, but sometimes people of opposite sex can get the wrong idea if you stare intensely-- expecially for a woman - but I believe you have to have the confidence to know how long and when to look away...
I think it depends on what you are doing at the time. If it is a glance at someone walking by or driving in the next lane, I think it is quite normal not to be able to maintain that contact. But, If I am standing face to face and eye contact is not maintained, I have difficulties believing and trusting that individual. That may be irrational, but it is the way I am ... I know me.
Knowing people can be uncomfortable making eye contact, I sometimes use that fact to screw around with people, just to pull their chains.
I sold cars for a decade and I used to train telemarketers for fund raising. There's not a lot about people that puts me off, and I've learned you can do more social interaction than you'd imagine to be possible.
It's really fun.
I remember sitting at my desk with a customer one time when I was selling cars. We were both sitting there sobbing. My sales manager freaked out. After I delivered the car, he wanted to know what the hell we were crying about. I explained to him we were sharing how we felt when our fathers died. The sales manager was flabbergasted. It was totally beyond his understanding to grasp what I was doing and why.
The point is you can say anything to anyone.......and you should.
It takes practice if you're not used to it ... I think staring at someone intently probably makes them uncomfortable anyway ... so checking in and out is probably preferable unless it's someone you know well. Some cultures don't do it at all ... but it is considered a sign of confidence and respect and is a sign that you are trying to make a connection with someone, so keep trying I'd say.
Yeah.. if it's necessary like you said, then I'll do it... but the guy at the gas station or any other place aint gonna get a glimpse
Not me, I really like it. It gives me an amazing feeling of contact and connection, like seeing right into someone's mind and emotions. Windows of the soul.
Yep, which is why I have one of those annoying floppy fringes in my face all the time
@mrslalaninjacakes, same here. Hair is the best solution to not making eye contact and others can't see my eyes when I'm at school or the shops. :) my best record of eye contact would be about 2 seconds and that was by accident. It just makes me so uncomfortable. Btw in my opinion it's not really about confidence. Either just themself, their experience with other humans or many other reasons.