I know you asked for advice from an adopted child but I am a birthmom and feel it's very important you ask other birthmoms if you truely consider adoption as well. I was seperating from the father while pregnant and was struggling financially so I thought adoption was best for my child. I found a wonderful couple and thought it was all a great solution....unfortunately adoption is so much more painful than I would ever imagine and id never wish this pain on my worst enemy....you see something instinctual happens to a mother <br />
when she has a baby....its a very <br />
deep love and emotional bond. Its what enables mothers to do the impossible to care for their child against all odds.....i wont go on and on. If you wish you can email me jbu2323@gmail ...what I can say is my son is 5....and not a day goes by<br />
that I don't ache to hold him....ive <br />
cried a million tears and if I knew <br />
then what I know now id never have <br />
gave him up.....
I am a birthfather who gave my son for adoption 29 years ago.....I know your feelings well.
It depends. I have seen some children that are happy with their adoptive families. I myself, had been adopted by a horrible woman, who just wanted us for the benefits (in my state foster kids get free healthcare, and extra money a day if there is something wrong with us) My adoptive mother got $44 a day off of me because I have high functioning autism. She got that up until I turned 18 in which she used me to steal money from social security without me knowing about it, because she claimed me as incompetent, which social security found out was a lie and has since stopped the checks going to her.
My adopted 22 yr old daughter from Russia doesn't ever want to locate her birthparents.
So long as you discuss with the parents whether they want you to be involved in the adopted child's life if the child decides it wants to know who it's birth parents are. If he/she ever contacts you, whether they had permission from their adoptive parents or not, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be loving and open to them. My birth father constantly says he hates me- and I've never even met him. Be very sure you find good people as well. Good luck
My husband and I adopted our son. We have let him know he was adopted. But we also let him know why. His mommy and daddy were very young and all they wanted for him was the best life he could have. I then let him know how I was not able to have a baby of my own and that he was not only so wanted we waited and searched for him. We let him know how special he is. That we waited our whole lives for him. That he is the most loved boy in the world. On the other side of this. If you a couple waiting and trying to have a baby and can not. A family that chooses to bless them with a gift no money can buy is the most unselfish thing one can do. They are so many mommy's and daddy's waiting for a child to complete them.
I am adopted and no I'm not happy with it because I always wonder what my parents were like and if they wanted me. why was I adopted? what are they like? What are they doing now? etc. I have also battled feelings of envy to other "normal" non adopted children and wish I was like them. Sometimes I want to just run away because I feel as though I wasn't wanted by my bio family.
I am a birthfather. When I placed my son for adoption it was not a matter of not wanting him. I wanted him very much....and that feeling did not stop over the years. My decision was based upon doubts that I had about my ability to be a good parent.